Woman says its rude or weird to approach in shops

[Rain]

I was in a supermarket aisle. Noticed a woman come in and grab a trolley so I looked at something in the aisle. Then she stood next to me by chance and then bent over to get an item off lower shelf. I took half a step back to let her arm reach that shelf, personal space.

me: do you dye your hair
her: yes
me: looks good
her: thankyou
me: are you single?
her: no I'm taken/married *she walks away*
me: *says nothing* or I said nice to meet you
her: *she turns around* Its weird to say that in a shopping center man. She may have used the word rude or I can't remember exact wording, maybe she used both or inappropriate. Hard to remember sometimes
me: *says nothing* or I said nice to meet you
her: *she walks away*

Never had this before. I thought about finding her and getting stern and telling her off. I let it go in this case, other wise if you go and try and show them you won't be shamed by them etc looks bad from outside eg you've then do two approaches to the same person in a row. I ejected from that shop, in fact I instantly left that mall. That way zero chance of running into them again that day.

For future, what do you say if they say that?

"If you were single and I was your type you wouldn't be saying that" neutral but confident voice?
"If I was your type it wouldn't be weird. Bye" neutral but confident voice?
"I make no excuses for going after what I want" Might be a bad idea to say this one if you unintentionally creeped someone out? If not creeped out but someone doesn't like cold approaches, may piss them off and they go to manager complain? Maybe that one is not a good one to use.
"Don't speak to me like that" stern voice?
"Don't tell me what to do" stern voice
"Don't try and dominate/bully me" stern voice shaming tactic
"Why do people find it hard to get close to you?" Good zing but unsure if good to use this context
"Don't you know we were meant to be together?" Good response to rejection possibly but unsure if good in the context I'm asking eg getting called weird for asking out in shops
"Caught you off guard did I?" cheeky with a smile? or is that too playful and come off as weak and they more likely to go and tell the shop manager some guy asked you out? Then again getting stern voice may make them go to the manager more. I don't know which of these has better probability of someone not going to the manager. Remember, you don't want to get asked to leave right?

 

[Fuck This]

Don't give her the pleasure of a response.

You already have put too much effort into someone who is not available, or even remotely important to you. Thus it is not productive to spend anytime on it.

 

[Regal Tiger]

Don't give her the pleasure of a response.

You already have put too much effort into someone who is not available, or even remotely important to you. Thus it is not productive to spend anytime on it.

+1

Women say lots of funny things sometimes.

 

[Fuck This]

I was in a supermarket aisle. Noticed a woman come in and grab a trolley so I looked at something in the aisle. Then she stood next to me by chance and then bent over to get an item off lower shelf. I took half a step back to let her arm reach that shelf, personal space.

me: do you dye your hair
her: yes
me: looks good
her: thankyou
me: are you single?
?

OK upon further review, In the future I think you could reduce these negative responses.....

I think this is an uncalibrated approach that will elicit a polarized response. You go indirect then switch to direct in the blink of an eye. If you are going to open indirect, build more rapport before going direct. For future reference....

 

[foggy]

Don't let her control the frame, and say "No it's not." And then ask her why.

Was the women older? I'm asking because I got the exact same response last summer from an older woman, when I took the same verbal approach as you - asking "are you single" out of nowhere, soon into the conversation.

Fuck This is correct, she responded that way due to your miscalibration. But I don't believe it was just your verbal communication that caused her to respond that way. I've switched from verbally indirect to verbally direct quickly many times and only got that particular response once. Although I can't be certain why she said exactly that I'm willing to speculate. Sounds like she was acting as a social policeman and trying to enforce social norms around you. There's other factors at play here...the environment is important. and what were you wearing? What was your vibe like? Your frame? Are you a bit nervous while approaching?

I know you asked for particular responses to her objection, but I think the context behind it is very very interesting.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Try not to take it personally Rain. You quickly and efficiently found out this girl was unavailbable so good on you. Sure you can make things smoother but in the end the result would be the same.

If you want to help prevent polarizing reactions in the future, just ask her a few boring questions before asking her if she's single. You should be able to tell if she's interested after a bit of small talk. If she seems game ask her out or if she's single.

 

[Rain]

Fuck This is correct, she responded that way due to your miscalibration.

OK upon further review, In the future I think you could reduce these negative responses.....

I think this is an uncalibrated approach that will elicit a polarized response. You go indirect then switch to direct in the blink of an eye. If you are going to open indirect, build more rapport before going direct. For future reference....

If you want to help prevent polarizing reactions in the future, just ask her a few boring questions before asking her if she's single. You should be able to tell if she's interested after a bit of small talk. If she seems game ask her out or if she's single.

I understand now how its uncalibrated. Small talk/rapport/boring questions I need to work on. What sort of small talk/rapport/boring questions should I be asking?

Don't let her control the frame, and say "No it's not." And then ask her why.

Was the women older? I'm asking because I got the exact same response last summer from an older woman, when I took the same verbal approach as you - asking "are you single" out of nowhere, soon into the conversation.

Fuck This is correct, she responded that way due to your miscalibration. But I don't believe it was just your verbal communication that caused her to respond that way. I've switched from verbally indirect to verbally direct quickly many times and only got that particular response once. Although I can't be certain why she said exactly that I'm willing to speculate. Sounds like she was acting as a social policeman and trying to enforce social norms around you. There's other factors at play here...the environment is important. and what were you wearing? What was your vibe like? Your frame? Are you a bit nervous while approaching?

I know you asked for particular responses to her objection, but I think the context behind it is very very interesting.

She was a bit older, maybe late 20s or 30s. Only gotten this response once, so doubt it was my vibe, not that it can't be improved in general. Maybe it was social police. Gave me a comeback idea "ohhh here come the fun police" sarcastically. I've gone from indirect to direct like that a few times and haven't gotten this response before today.