- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Hey guys,
Meeting and Events Leading to This Night
Met this girl through my church group (she had come for the first time ever and was super quiet so I had talked with her a little bit). I had left that night and she added me on FB and messaged me saying she wanted to get my number but I left before she could lol. Fast forward a bit and we are having substantial teasing and flirting text conversations. I was pretty busy and we were having logistical issues meeting - it also made her want to meet me more. Fast forward a bit more and one night we are sitting outside the church flirting a bit and she's sitting in her passenger seat with the door open and me leaning on the outside. Touching is fine and everything and she gets real close to my face for a few seconds before leaning back and teasing me saying "look at how close I was to your face and you didn't even do anything" (a window yeah but my goal isn't to kiss). She then busted my balls some more so I grabbed her and pulled her into me and kissed her. She kissed back and then after some more talking she brought up something about having sex in the parking lot but there was a security guy at the end of the lot we were in and people occasionally drove by (at 10-11 PM at night nonetheless). She knew I had a condom on me (as I always do) but she said she wasn't down and so I agreed with her for the reasons stated before. Fast forward a bit more and I had met her parents as she invited me to her church (her home church isn't the one our group is at) and they liked me and I had also been to her house for a bit (about 30 minutes - I had a place to be afterwards) so we only talked and teased a bit but she was comfortable with me at her place. Fast forward a bit more and it all leads up to the night of this LR-.
Jazz, The City Views, and A Horny Girl
For one of my summer classes, I had to go watch a live Jazz or Classical music concert and then have to write a paper on the music and venue. As I couldn't find any Classical concerts within the next week, I was able to find a cafe Jazz place that serves food and drinks with a min $15 buy in. Not wanting to go alone and after having asked a few friends who weren't fans of Jazz, I invited this girl and, after asking her parents (who she lives with), she said she'd go. I went to her house and picked her up and headed to the venue. We were seating and listened to the music for a while (we got there around 8:15 PM), each of us having a drink for the buy in (she didn't drink much of hers). I noticed there was an outside sitting area so during the main break, I told our waiter that we were going to go check it out (so she didn't think we just left). And so we did. It was nice and much more easy to talk and we had a section where we could mostly be alone. We talked and teased a bit and kissed a few times, keeping touching good. We then went back and finished our drinks (well I did) before leaving (as we had talked about leaving since she wasn't too big of a fan of the music). I had told her went I invited her that I was going to go to this well-known spot for city views afterwards, so we drove up there.
We drove up and after relieving myself and finding a place to park with a nice view, we sat outside on the ground (and a rock) and enjoyed the view. We were teasing and touching more and we had gotten onto the topic of her bra, which she kept somewhat visible. She said it was that way for a reason and after some more talking (I can't remember the conversation exactly), it had gotten to a point where her tits were out and I began to squeeze and suck on them a bit. She was getting horny, but then another car of high school guys pulled up and were being a bit loud, so during this time we kept her covered and we just talked and took in the view. We then decided to return back to the car and I told her to get in the back seat as she started to head towards the passenger side. She did and in the back, she asked if she could play some music. So she started to and we began to make out and I started playing with her again, getting her really horny. She was open to touching me back and had been doing so throughout the conversation so I eventually whipped it out and she started to stroke it. This made her more horny and I was running my hands across her body and her legs and at one point my hand ran across her vagina - she was really wet and brought it up. "You know you just touched my vagina?" "Oh did I? Sorry I wasn't looking. Is that a bad thing?" I said teasing her and she said "if it was, I would've stopped you" so I then fingered her a little bit before things calmed down for some reason (I think a car shined its lights in on us so we stopped what we were doing for a second). I should also say that at certain times throughout this she told me to stop (if I was touching a certain part of her or doing a certain thing that was getting her really horny but she wasn't quite fully committed to doing in the moment) and so I said "OK" and stopped doing that thing, moving to a different part of her she was more comfortable with and then slowly moving back to that area (which she was then fine with after). She then brought up how she was worried about being used only for sex and wasn't looking for a relationship (we had talked a bit on this earlier). She was also insecure about certain parts of her body. So I reassured her I liked her and those parts of her and rebuilt that comfort. I also reminded her that I wasn't looking for a relationship either and that it'd be fine if we didn't fuck and just chilled and talked and got to know each other. She said she wanted me to prove it and I asked how she wanted me to do that. She told me to put my dick away so I did. After talking some more, we decided to drive back down the mountain and take her back home.
On the drive down, I started to get bummed because 1) we didn't get to sex and 2) because of that I was worried she wouldn't want to see me again. So this reflected in my mood and I began to become dissonant and quiet. I brought this up to her because she told me she was also insecure that I wouldn't want to see her again either. She told me that she would text me and still talk to me after - after all, she did that when we kissed the first time (because I had told her I had also had girls who left after I kissed them because that was enough to satisfy them). She was also worried that she liked me more than I liked her. I reassured her that I did like her and also brought up how I felt kind of insulted that she was framing me as a heartless player - quick aside: she had brought up on multiple occasions other girls I was talking to (not that I ever told her about any of them or ever showed her proof - she just assumes that I am). Anyways, it totally ruined my mood and like I said I started to become quiet. She then brought up basically how she was worried how I'd act different and said "well look how differently you're acting now" under her breath and hearing that, I remembered what I've read and learned on GC about how girls are afraid guys are going to act different after sex and how it is very important that we are the same before sex (emotionally and in the way we behave) as we are after to avoid to dramatic of a state shift. So I immediately began to change the way I was acting and was proactive in changing my thoughts and feelings. I could literally feel myself changing how I was feeling and began to tease her again, reassuring her that I'm still the same guy and that's its OK that we didn't have sex (or that she didn't stroke me off to the point that I came). I basically went back to how we always act around each other and reassured her that I'd see her again and how I'd be upset if she didn't text me back anymore after tonight. So we both agreed to still talk to each other afterwards and at one point she brought up her parents and how strict they were with her, despite her being a "grown-ass woman". She said she didn't feel too safe - and when I asked her to clarify if she meant with me or with her parents she said she felt very safe with me but unsure about how her parents would react. So as a result of our talking, we agreed that 1) we weren't in a relationship and weren't going to define it as one 2) that I don't kiss-and-tell 3) that no one needed to know what we did in our social circles 4) that we'd keep talking to each other 5) that we'd joke (between us) that whatever we did was purely platonic. So we teased back and forth a bit more on the platonic point - for instance she said "oh yeah you grabbing my butt is totally platonic" and I'd say "of course - your butt was cold and as a good friend, I just felt obligated to help you keep it warm since you can't do it yourself" and so we returned to a good state and both our moods and feelings of comfort lifted.
So I returned her back home and she hinted that her parents were going out of town next weekend (not that she was telling me for a reason - she'd joke). And so on the night went.
When I got home, we had this quick text convo:
Her - "Hey thanks for tonight. I hope you make it home safe"
Me - "I did
"
Her - "Ok good. Lol I already miss you. So you shouldn't be worried about me disappearing on you."
Me - "ok good. thanks // I'll be here as well"
her - "That's good to know cause you seem kinda annoyed with me....but ok"
Me - "im over it. dont worry I will still be teasing you as much as ever // better feel happy *tongue stick out emoji*
Her - "oh great thats definitely my favorite part // No like I said I'm just worried about you acting different or losing interest but *girl shrug and female sign emojis*
me - "fantastic // im the same person"
her - "ok good. Lol the same person could still lose interest in me"
me - "eh as long as youre not boring *tongue stick out emoji again*
her - "I mean I am pretty boring"
I then busted her balls a bit and a couple more texts later she said
her - "Goodnight lol hopefully I'll actually hear from you tomorrow (which was yesterday)"
And so she did and we met again yesterday. She showed me this cool tree house by her place and we hung out a bit. I had a place to be so I took her back home after a while, but it was good. There's still a slight hesitation with her because she's still worried I might act a bit different - but it's no where near the same hesitation that it was. So I'll keep working on that. She reminded me again yesterday that her parents are out of town next weekend, so we'll see how that goes.
This whole experience made me start to think about my insecurities - that I'm insecure that she'll stop talking to me if we don't get to sex, that I said that I don't need sex, but acted differently when that wasn't the case (though I was glad I realized this and took action to fix it), how I need to fix my jealously of other guys and my friends that I'm holding onto (more on this in my Journal - I'm jealous of my best friend and his relationship and I am jealous because this girl told me she has videos on her phone of her being fucked - for instance, by one guy she met through Craigslist that came over one night for sex). So it revealed some serious insecurity issues I have that need fixed. More on this in my Journal.
Anyways, I'm glad I didn't have a repeat of the 38-year old mom, where I was uncalibrated and just plowed past resistance, but it was also very eye-opening to my insecurities and things I need to work on. Just goes to show that I'm learning and getting better - but I still have much work to do.
Will update hopefully by next weekend
Till the next one,
NBW
Meeting and Events Leading to This Night
Met this girl through my church group (she had come for the first time ever and was super quiet so I had talked with her a little bit). I had left that night and she added me on FB and messaged me saying she wanted to get my number but I left before she could lol. Fast forward a bit and we are having substantial teasing and flirting text conversations. I was pretty busy and we were having logistical issues meeting - it also made her want to meet me more. Fast forward a bit more and one night we are sitting outside the church flirting a bit and she's sitting in her passenger seat with the door open and me leaning on the outside. Touching is fine and everything and she gets real close to my face for a few seconds before leaning back and teasing me saying "look at how close I was to your face and you didn't even do anything" (a window yeah but my goal isn't to kiss). She then busted my balls some more so I grabbed her and pulled her into me and kissed her. She kissed back and then after some more talking she brought up something about having sex in the parking lot but there was a security guy at the end of the lot we were in and people occasionally drove by (at 10-11 PM at night nonetheless). She knew I had a condom on me (as I always do) but she said she wasn't down and so I agreed with her for the reasons stated before. Fast forward a bit more and I had met her parents as she invited me to her church (her home church isn't the one our group is at) and they liked me and I had also been to her house for a bit (about 30 minutes - I had a place to be afterwards) so we only talked and teased a bit but she was comfortable with me at her place. Fast forward a bit more and it all leads up to the night of this LR-.
Jazz, The City Views, and A Horny Girl
For one of my summer classes, I had to go watch a live Jazz or Classical music concert and then have to write a paper on the music and venue. As I couldn't find any Classical concerts within the next week, I was able to find a cafe Jazz place that serves food and drinks with a min $15 buy in. Not wanting to go alone and after having asked a few friends who weren't fans of Jazz, I invited this girl and, after asking her parents (who she lives with), she said she'd go. I went to her house and picked her up and headed to the venue. We were seating and listened to the music for a while (we got there around 8:15 PM), each of us having a drink for the buy in (she didn't drink much of hers). I noticed there was an outside sitting area so during the main break, I told our waiter that we were going to go check it out (so she didn't think we just left). And so we did. It was nice and much more easy to talk and we had a section where we could mostly be alone. We talked and teased a bit and kissed a few times, keeping touching good. We then went back and finished our drinks (well I did) before leaving (as we had talked about leaving since she wasn't too big of a fan of the music). I had told her went I invited her that I was going to go to this well-known spot for city views afterwards, so we drove up there.
We drove up and after relieving myself and finding a place to park with a nice view, we sat outside on the ground (and a rock) and enjoyed the view. We were teasing and touching more and we had gotten onto the topic of her bra, which she kept somewhat visible. She said it was that way for a reason and after some more talking (I can't remember the conversation exactly), it had gotten to a point where her tits were out and I began to squeeze and suck on them a bit. She was getting horny, but then another car of high school guys pulled up and were being a bit loud, so during this time we kept her covered and we just talked and took in the view. We then decided to return back to the car and I told her to get in the back seat as she started to head towards the passenger side. She did and in the back, she asked if she could play some music. So she started to and we began to make out and I started playing with her again, getting her really horny. She was open to touching me back and had been doing so throughout the conversation so I eventually whipped it out and she started to stroke it. This made her more horny and I was running my hands across her body and her legs and at one point my hand ran across her vagina - she was really wet and brought it up. "You know you just touched my vagina?" "Oh did I? Sorry I wasn't looking. Is that a bad thing?" I said teasing her and she said "if it was, I would've stopped you" so I then fingered her a little bit before things calmed down for some reason (I think a car shined its lights in on us so we stopped what we were doing for a second). I should also say that at certain times throughout this she told me to stop (if I was touching a certain part of her or doing a certain thing that was getting her really horny but she wasn't quite fully committed to doing in the moment) and so I said "OK" and stopped doing that thing, moving to a different part of her she was more comfortable with and then slowly moving back to that area (which she was then fine with after). She then brought up how she was worried about being used only for sex and wasn't looking for a relationship (we had talked a bit on this earlier). She was also insecure about certain parts of her body. So I reassured her I liked her and those parts of her and rebuilt that comfort. I also reminded her that I wasn't looking for a relationship either and that it'd be fine if we didn't fuck and just chilled and talked and got to know each other. She said she wanted me to prove it and I asked how she wanted me to do that. She told me to put my dick away so I did. After talking some more, we decided to drive back down the mountain and take her back home.
On the drive down, I started to get bummed because 1) we didn't get to sex and 2) because of that I was worried she wouldn't want to see me again. So this reflected in my mood and I began to become dissonant and quiet. I brought this up to her because she told me she was also insecure that I wouldn't want to see her again either. She told me that she would text me and still talk to me after - after all, she did that when we kissed the first time (because I had told her I had also had girls who left after I kissed them because that was enough to satisfy them). She was also worried that she liked me more than I liked her. I reassured her that I did like her and also brought up how I felt kind of insulted that she was framing me as a heartless player - quick aside: she had brought up on multiple occasions other girls I was talking to (not that I ever told her about any of them or ever showed her proof - she just assumes that I am). Anyways, it totally ruined my mood and like I said I started to become quiet. She then brought up basically how she was worried how I'd act different and said "well look how differently you're acting now" under her breath and hearing that, I remembered what I've read and learned on GC about how girls are afraid guys are going to act different after sex and how it is very important that we are the same before sex (emotionally and in the way we behave) as we are after to avoid to dramatic of a state shift. So I immediately began to change the way I was acting and was proactive in changing my thoughts and feelings. I could literally feel myself changing how I was feeling and began to tease her again, reassuring her that I'm still the same guy and that's its OK that we didn't have sex (or that she didn't stroke me off to the point that I came). I basically went back to how we always act around each other and reassured her that I'd see her again and how I'd be upset if she didn't text me back anymore after tonight. So we both agreed to still talk to each other afterwards and at one point she brought up her parents and how strict they were with her, despite her being a "grown-ass woman". She said she didn't feel too safe - and when I asked her to clarify if she meant with me or with her parents she said she felt very safe with me but unsure about how her parents would react. So as a result of our talking, we agreed that 1) we weren't in a relationship and weren't going to define it as one 2) that I don't kiss-and-tell 3) that no one needed to know what we did in our social circles 4) that we'd keep talking to each other 5) that we'd joke (between us) that whatever we did was purely platonic. So we teased back and forth a bit more on the platonic point - for instance she said "oh yeah you grabbing my butt is totally platonic" and I'd say "of course - your butt was cold and as a good friend, I just felt obligated to help you keep it warm since you can't do it yourself" and so we returned to a good state and both our moods and feelings of comfort lifted.
So I returned her back home and she hinted that her parents were going out of town next weekend (not that she was telling me for a reason - she'd joke). And so on the night went.
When I got home, we had this quick text convo:
Her - "Hey thanks for tonight. I hope you make it home safe"
Me - "I did
"Her - "Ok good. Lol I already miss you. So you shouldn't be worried about me disappearing on you."
Me - "ok good. thanks // I'll be here as well"
her - "That's good to know cause you seem kinda annoyed with me....but ok"
Me - "im over it. dont worry I will still be teasing you as much as ever // better feel happy *tongue stick out emoji*
Her - "oh great thats definitely my favorite part // No like I said I'm just worried about you acting different or losing interest but *girl shrug and female sign emojis*
me - "fantastic
// im the same person"her - "ok good. Lol the same person could still lose interest in me"
me - "eh as long as youre not boring *tongue stick out emoji again*
her - "I mean I am pretty boring"
I then busted her balls a bit and a couple more texts later she said
her - "Goodnight lol hopefully I'll actually hear from you tomorrow (which was yesterday)"
And so she did and we met again yesterday. She showed me this cool tree house by her place and we hung out a bit. I had a place to be so I took her back home after a while, but it was good. There's still a slight hesitation with her because she's still worried I might act a bit different - but it's no where near the same hesitation that it was. So I'll keep working on that. She reminded me again yesterday that her parents are out of town next weekend, so we'll see how that goes.
This whole experience made me start to think about my insecurities - that I'm insecure that she'll stop talking to me if we don't get to sex, that I said that I don't need sex, but acted differently when that wasn't the case (though I was glad I realized this and took action to fix it), how I need to fix my jealously of other guys and my friends that I'm holding onto (more on this in my Journal - I'm jealous of my best friend and his relationship and I am jealous because this girl told me she has videos on her phone of her being fucked - for instance, by one guy she met through Craigslist that came over one night for sex). So it revealed some serious insecurity issues I have that need fixed. More on this in my Journal.
Anyways, I'm glad I didn't have a repeat of the 38-year old mom, where I was uncalibrated and just plowed past resistance, but it was also very eye-opening to my insecurities and things I need to work on. Just goes to show that I'm learning and getting better - but I still have much work to do.
Will update hopefully by next weekend
Till the next one,
NBW
