Hi, so I've read this site and forums for about 3 years but never posted. Great information on here. Figured I'll give it a shot. When asking a girl out, is it too weak saying "do you want to hang out/grab some food"? Most advice on this site proposes saying "we should hang out" or "let's hang out". And am I overthinking this too much? I feel like I worry about sounding too weak.
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2013
- Messages
- 747
It's unclear whether you have read 3 years with or without action?
If you haven't taken any action, then I strongly advise to stop reading and to start doing. The Newbie Assignment is a great place to start.
Ask a random women "what time is it?" or "how do I get to the nearest Starbucks?" If you can't do this, how will you ask one out?
I don't think it's "too weak" saying "do you," but "we should" does come off as better.
"I like talking with you. We should grab a bite to eat this week. When are you free?"
"You're a cute girl. How about we go grab a bite to eat this week? What days are you free?"
Asking a girl out is always stronger than not asking a girl out. Even if you say everything wrong, you're a stronger guy than the average guy who does not say a word to her!
If you haven't taken any action, then I strongly advise to stop reading and to start doing. The Newbie Assignment is a great place to start.
Ask a random women "what time is it?" or "how do I get to the nearest Starbucks?" If you can't do this, how will you ask one out?
I don't think it's "too weak" saying "do you," but "we should" does come off as better.
"I like talking with you. We should grab a bite to eat this week. When are you free?"
"You're a cute girl. How about we go grab a bite to eat this week? What days are you free?"
Asking a girl out is always stronger than not asking a girl out. Even if you say everything wrong, you're a stronger guy than the average guy who does not say a word to her!
Thanks for all of the responses. Valid points by all. True asking is always better than not. No I have implemented a lot of the information on here and had very good results, just when it comes to less expected or cold texts, I'm uncertain because it's coming out of nowhere and it's difficult to gauge what the response will be.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2014
- Messages
- 244
One thing to consider is the type of girls you're trying to get out on a date.
When you're dealing with younger girls in college or whatnot, try to avoid framing the outing as a date because it feels like a huge commitment. This is why things like "hanging out" works a lot better, so that it feels a lot less like a commitment, and they can tell their girlfriends something like "Yeah, we were just hanging out and it happened!" Also, "hanging out" wouldn't really fit with the older girls because it may feel too immature for them.
Beyond that, I don't think the actual wording itself is super important as long as you're an attractive, confident man. Lately my friend and I have been asking girls out on a "chicken nugget adventure" instead of grabbing food. Bitches love adventures.
When you're dealing with younger girls in college or whatnot, try to avoid framing the outing as a date because it feels like a huge commitment. This is why things like "hanging out" works a lot better, so that it feels a lot less like a commitment, and they can tell their girlfriends something like "Yeah, we were just hanging out and it happened!" Also, "hanging out" wouldn't really fit with the older girls because it may feel too immature for them.
Beyond that, I don't think the actual wording itself is super important as long as you're an attractive, confident man. Lately my friend and I have been asking girls out on a "chicken nugget adventure" instead of grabbing food. Bitches love adventures.
fsc said:
This. I've been using Chase's suggestion primarily for the past year "tell you what, let's grab a drink or bite to eat sometime soon."
It's as simple at that. Primarily I use online dating and live in NYC so i think that's why the "sometime" isn't so "weak" Then again I never gave it too much thought because my only concern is meeting her - that's where the real work is done. I've never had a girl turn down a date because of the words I used (only one girl wanted me to ask for her number and then I simply asked her for it and she went out with me)
FSC, adventure is definitely one of my favorite words - because girls LOVE it. I'm going to borrow your idea and start asking girls out for a drink adventure. I can definitely see it framing the date as a more fun and interesting interaction, plus so few guys would go it, that it makes you stand out.