Kenchin said:
So just got a new job a week ago working at a college bar. I work as a bouncer. Now we have about 9 girl bartenders and one guy bartender. So far I know he's banging out one of the girls as casual hook-up and basically told me all the rest are fare game. Most are taking classes and some have a second job.
Now my questions are:
So they say their busy a lot. What's a good way to single some or one out for an activity to do?
Whats the best way to go about bar hook-ups w/ co-workers?
And I've already read the do's and don't's of office hook-ups on flirty & sex. I would like any bar tips and tactics that work best for this situation?
Ex: Chase frame is one tool to have in your arsenal, (some more examples would be nice, thanks)
Any info would be helpful and much appreciated. I will follow with feedback so everyone can use the info.
Hey, Kenchin! I actually work at a college bar and have hooked up with two co-workers (well, one was a LR- who begged me for sex but my at-the-time-soon-to-be girlfriend basically tore her down, since the co-worker tried to seduce me in front of said girlfriend, and the other I just made out with).
I'll give you a brief run-down on each one.
Owner's Daughter
Yeah, this is everyone's dream haha. The bar owner's daughter would work dinner shifts occasionally and I could tell immediately she was attracted (if you do not sense immediate attraction, you're going to have to move a bit slower to build personality attraction e.g., work multiple shifts together and show her your value through social proof and preselection).
We worked together over the summer and after a few shifts of flirting (e.g., pushing, teasing, racing to pick up orders, etc), I was chatting with her during a really slow shift and mentioned going to party at my chapter house afterwards. She casually mentioned "that sounds like fun" with a thinly veiled expression of interest, so I casually returned "want to join?" She accepted and after work she followed my car to the house. I immediately suggested we watch a movie, went downstairs, and I ended up eating her out.
She left when I tried to get my dick sucked, but I was chill enough about it that I just walked her out, kiss her goodbye and a few weeks later we hooked up again. One time she was with like 15 friends at my chapter house, I pulled her to my room, made her cum twice, then just kicked her out. This set her on the chase to fuck me, but once her chasing hit full stride, the aforementioned situation happened.
Lesson: be super casual with it and let the interest build over time.
Co-worker with boyfriend
This girl I would regularly engage in sexual conversations with. She even joked to me "every time we talk, we talk about sex." I would slowly reflect her explicitly stated interests in bed to her (smoothly enough to not reveal I'm mirroring her) and would also amplify her boredom with her White-Knight boyfriend (i.e., whenever she mentioned him doing something sweet, I recognized this as a euphemism for "he's too nice" and would say things like "you're going to get bored of him very quickly." she would often agree).
Well, on a slow night I went to my bar with a fraternity brother to chill out and play pool. She was there and I invited her to come hang out with us. The entire time we played pool, she'd just watch, tease me about sucking at pool, and even poured a whole fucking drink on me after I insulted her. I didn't bat an eye when she did this and just laughed at her. I invited her to come watch a movie after our last game and she declined. I asked two more times and she finally accepted.
Once we got back to the house I just pulled her to my room. She knew what was going on, because she kind of laughed when I just walked to my room instead of the living room. I put on a movie, turned off the lights, and laid back with her. Before I made my move, she asked me "are you wanting to hook up with me?" Admittedly, I was a bit shocked, but maintained a straight face and just casually said "yeah." She laughed and then I kissed her for a minute. She stopped me and said "yeah, you don't want to do that.." I pried and she revealed that she was on her period and said "otherwise, I definitely would." Then a few minutes later I kissed her again and she stopped me, saying "well, I also have a boyfriend." Notice this was a distant secondary reason to her menstruating (I should have pushed on my first advance, but I hadn't yet known how to overcome period anxiety for sex). After this she rebuffed all advances and said "you know, I definitely would have fucked you had you surprised me more, but once you invited me back to your house, I had a feeling for what was going on. But yeah, I would like to fuck you, I just have a boyfriend, sorry." Afterwards she probed me, asking "why I want to fuck her" and "I bet you have lots of other girls to fuck, why me?"
I didn't handle these questions the best and lost it. To this day, I don't know how she'll treat me. One shift, she'll act VERY cold and rude to me, and another she'll be very flirty and loving. Usually the latter happens when I talk to ANY girl as a customer or on shift.
Lesson: be subtle about flirting, but once you open the door, you can be very sexual and direct. You're gonna need to learn to recognize these open doors. But once it's open and you pull her back home, your logistics better be perfect and you better move fast, or you'll have some awkward future shifts. Fortunately, however, constant exposure to you can actually turn around auto-rejection if you're constantly improving as a man. Both girls have been more and more open with me the more they see me.
Hope this helps!
May you fuck all of your co-workers,
Anatman
