FR working with resistance, not easy

[R.A.D.]

So here are a couple of approaches during the weekend, all of them had in common my failure to handle girls resistance of different kinds

Saturday night, approached many girls in a club, all of them gave me a visual invitation and all of them gave me the boyfriend, blocking friend, etc. treatment.

For example, girl is with her friend, looks at me for a while, i go chat with her for a while, tell her a compliment, ask her name, ask something about her, then her friend reaches for her and they start talking together, so bail out time.


So today afternoon i was very annoyed by this, went out to skate for a while and clear my mind, while i was coming back to my house i see this very hot brunette walking her dog waiting to cross the street. As i pass by she looked me in the eyes very directly, i passed her, realized i wanted to talk to her, stoped and she was crossing the street already walking on the other sidewalk. I looked at her again, yes she was hot so i followed her, i didnt noticed but since i was skating my energy was high so instead of walking fast i appeared running behind her...

Me: "Hi!, you almost made me fall back there"
Her: Looks at me smiling
Me: "i looked at you and thought you were so beatiful that i lost my focus"
Her: "Thanks!" keeps smiling
Me: "whats your name"?
Her: name
Me: "im xxxxxx" so you live around here?
Her: "Yes around the block" "i feel this is kind of weird, with you running behind me and all" She said this like nervous not in a dismissive way
Me: "Hey i know, but i had to come, how else i would get to know you?" "besides dont worry im not crazy.... in that way at least"
Her: Laughs "good to know because i met a lot lately"
Me: "i see you had bad experiences...."
Me: whats her name? (looking at the dog)
Her: says her name again
Me: laughing, so you are name sisters?
Her: "oh i thought you forgot mine!"
Me: gently sliding my hand by her arm "hey i didnt forget" "so you were telling me you had bad experiences, wanna tell me about it so we can laugh?"
Her: says hi to a group of neighbours that were at her door, turns out she lives in an apartment complex so the entrance to her house is very exposed
Neighbours: hey we just opened the gate pass before it closes
Her: "well bye" while she entered,
Me: hey wait let me tell you one more thing, as i stay at the door
Neighbours: staring
Her: walks inside slowly looking at me and dissapears, she never gaved me her back now that i remember
Me: laugh while being stared by the neighbours and i skated away.


So i been having a rough time handling resistance and obstacles. On the nightclub girls im checking the latest articles on the matter and they are helping a lot.

Anyone have an opinion on how to manage girls getting nervous on the street in a smoother way? having in mind that this are situations you have no control of so how to adapt and make the best of it?.

 

[Smurf]

Hey R.A.D. Nice to see you approaching!

So from what I see, there's a couple things. Your opener seemed fine to me, but you stayed on the subject of creepy walk ups for a bit too long. You probably should've started your deep dive on another subject. Also, I never run up to women from behind to catch up with them, but if I did want to catch up with a girl who was quite a ways ahead of me, I would probably yell and tell them to stop instead of running behind them. This could also be a fundamental issue, you did say you came in high energy so maybe you should've toned it down a bit.

This sort of thing happens to me all the time actually. I'll approach, and because the girl wants to get where she's going I have to cut the interaction short or she just goes on to wherever she's going. I'd like some advice for things like that too.

All in all, whenever that happens I usually just next her and forget about it. It happens, especially if the girl is in a hurry or if she is talking to a friend. When she talks to a friend, I usually just gamble - hope that I've reached a good enough hook point that she'll reengage me - and I'll put on a bored look or start playing with me phone while they talk. It's worked 50% of the time on four different occasions so far.

Keep up the approaches man, I wish I had more advice to give but that's all I've got haha

Jake.

 

[R.A.D.]

Thanks a bunch, it helped me understand more what to work on.


- I will practice calling them instead of appearing behind them you are right about that and it didnt helped what perception she had of my approach.


- What would be a good topic to deep dive in such a short interaction?, i mean i can deep dive girls no problem, but a girl thats nervous and you will just chat for minutes i think that selecting the right topic could make a difference, just like the wrong topic can make a bad difference like it happened. So any suggestions on which topics help lead to a better outcome?

 

[Smurf]

What I've noticed is that you don't want to talk about too many topics when you first talk to the girl, so try and stick with one. It depends on the age and where you meet the girl, but since I'm in college, I usually start with their major or travel to talk about. If it were an older girl, maybe I'd talk about their childhood and past, or their career and how they enjoy it. It all depends on the situation and the type of girl you're talking to. You basically have to take into account some quick situational variables and then choose a topic from there. But don't pick more than one because if you do get her on a date you do want some things to talk about

Jake.

 

[Chase]

R.A.D.-

Jake's point about getting hung up on the creepy approaches is the big one. For a point of reference, imagine some girl approached you and you said, "Hey, sorry, I've had bad experiences with girls who've approached me instead of waiting for me to do the approach before," and she said, "Oh! Sorry to hear that. So do you want to talk about it?"

The reaction is kind of a, "Wait, huh?" kind of reaction. Maybe if this was a subdued social circle setting, but when someone's approaching you to tell you you're attractive and ask you out, taking time to talk in-depth about the creepers who've hit on you in the past isn't congruent and feels rather strange.

As for the initial startled reaction, just go with, "Oh no, I startled you! I'm sorry. My name's RAD."

Try introducing yourself before asking her name. It's a world if difference between:

• (you and I meet)
  Me: So what's your name?
  You: RAD.
  Me: I'm Chase.

and

• (you and I meet)
  Me: I'm Chase.
  You: RAD.
  Me: Pleasure to meet you, RAD.

The latter just feels more socially adroit, wouldn't you say?

I think the reason is that the latter subcommunicates, "I'm already so certain you'll be pleased to meet me that I'll tell you my name without requiring yours."

The former seems to subcommunicate, "I don't think you'll be interested enough to hear my name up front, so I'd better get yours first."

Chase

 

[ray_zorse]

Very useful (order of swapping names). I'm going to switch it around as u said. I have been leaning towards asking them first, as a compliance building move. But, why ask for compliance if you don't have to. Thanks.
Ray

 

[R.A.D.]

Thanks jake and chase, will put this into practice right away!