Writing a Personal Statement

[TouchGrass]

Good evening (or whichever time floats your boat), Gentlemen!

My name is Alex, and I am a Californian high school student, currently a junior. Recently we have begun learning about how to write a personal statement for applying to a university and it's giving me a bit of a hard time. For a little bit of background knowledge, I have been studying the methods of Chase and crew for about a year and a half now, and thought I'd write about how diving into self-improvement has changed so much of my life for the better despite how diffident and timid I still feel.

Anyways, back on topic, I was thinking about how to approach this essay when a lightbulb suddenly lit up in my head and I got an idea. What was it? Well, after trying (and failing) to come up with a satisfactory way to write my personal statement, I decided to try something different: ask a community of more experienced men for help. Obviously most of you don't really understand who I am so it would be difficult to give specific advice, but I was still curious on if you fellows had any tips or experiences you had to share about creating an accurate and unique depiction of yourself. Mostly I just figured, "Hey, a group of people focused on improving themselves should have a pretty good idea of who they are, right?"

For the most part I'm just looking for some tips on reflecting about myself and improving my writing. I realize that it's probably best for me to figure out who I am by myself, but I was interested in if any of you have any experience with a reflecting technique that could help me out. Yeah, sounds a bit like a stretch, but you miss all the shots you don't take! Besides that, I was also wondering if one of you have any advice to improve my writing into something more outstanding than the average--more or less a method I could practice or idea I should keep in mind when writing. I'll still try to just write a lot, but it's probably easier to ask for the mysterious, ancient techniques of subtle and eloquent bragging from a master than trying to figure it out for myself

In any case, thanks in advance!

Sincerely,
A fellow student of the social arts.

 

[Drck]

I had to write several personal statements, honestly I hate those. But I researched the topic and can give you some tips. Most likely you won't find much eloquence from me, nor proper grammar, but here are the tips:

* If there is a larger number of students applying you might want to keep it shorter. Whoever will read your statement might have to read other statements as well, if if most of them are long he/she gets tired easily and just skip the text anyway. If the number is high, keep it to one page, somewhere around 4 paragraphs. If there is a lower number of applicants you can add more text to it.

* Make sure it flows, do some transitions between paragraphs. Don't jump from A to D without going through B and C. Keep it logical and organized.

* 4 paragraphs:
1st is intro: Who you are and what you want to study. 2nd: give some personal story, make it as personal as you can. 3rd: What will you bring, what will you do for the university? Why should they select you and not the other student? 4th: Conclusion, repeat that you are good candidate.


* I don't know what you like and what major you are aiming at, but say that it is math and you like to become an engineer. Well, don't write "I really like math and I spent a lot of time studying and taking advanced courses, and I am planning to become an engineer". Instead, write something like: During my advanced math courses at high school I was given task to calculate which car is the most fuel efficient. The first car was Honda Civic with driven distance 45 miles in one hour. 1 gallon of gas was used. The second car was Mercedes Benz, the given distance was 105 miles in one hour and ten minutes. I calculated that 3 gallons of gas were used. In this example, it is clear that Honda Civic is more fuel efficient, however it is clear the Mercedes was driving much faster, it is much heavier and its motor is 1000 cc bigger, which makes the real-life results rather inconclusive. As an engineer, I would definitely consider these factors before I present the final result to my colleagues. I discussed this issue with my teacher and he agreed, the Mercedes Benz might actually be more fuel efficient than Honda, but more data is needed. This math course greatly increased my knowledge about fuel efficiency, and I am eager to learn more about motors, which in turn will satisfy my dream to become an excellent engineer.

* Well, don't write it exactly like that, I am only shooting off of the top of my brain, but you got the idea. You basically show your thinking, how you see and calculate things, that you have your independent mind, and that you definitely want to learn more about that subject. Include some personal involvement, some extra action that you did. Include that you learned something from it and you want to learn more.

* Next, what will you bring to the university? Do you want to just party, smoke pot and fuck college girls like the other guy? Or are you a diligent and determined student whose ambitions are to become an excellent engineer? A student who can make the university proud if they associate him with the university name? Think twice. You don't want the professor who reads your statement think: What a loser, he has no clue what he wants to do with his life, like the rest of 99% students. His personal statement is just sorry ass of a guy who has no idea what else to do, so he is applying here to waste four years of his time and get some benefits from it. He doesn't really know what he wants, who knows if he can learn anything at all. You want him to think: Damn, this fucking guy knows exactly what he wants, he's not shy about it and he does everything he can to get it. He already took extra courses so he is well prepared, and he doesn't hesitate to do more. What an ambition, I want to study more! I should have done the same when I was that age, I wouldn't have to be just a professor today with no real knowledge and no real skills. Now all I can do is to be sorry that I was always such a fucking pussy! I want to meet this guy, I want to see him around!

 

[Chase]

Alex-

Welcome. And good thinking!

We (some partners and I) previously ran an admissions consulting business, and working with students on entrance essays was a big part of that.

I would highly, highly recommend getting your hands on a copy of this book:

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays

Not only is it an enjoyable read, but it'll get your brain bursting with ideas on what to write about. All kinds of interesting spins on entrance essays - something are really examples of someone pulling something from nothing and using that to get in.

Check it out. You'll almost certainly find something to style your personal statement after.

Chase

 

[TouchGrass]

Thanks for the tips, I'll definitely keep them in mind!

Also, Chase, I did a little research on the book you suggested to me. It appears that the author is the Harvard Crimson, a newspaper of some sort for Harvard University, and that they have recently released another book this year with a similar premise titled "55 Harvard Law School Application Essays."

I'm unsure if the change to "Law School" affects the type of Personal Statement much, but would you recommend this series of books to me as well?

Just asking because the book you recommended was published in 2005, so I'm unsure if universities are looking for something different in their essays now.