FR++ x2 this girl.... ARGH

[stratvm]

i dont know what i`m doing wrong. or well i suppose i know but it`s just ridiculous.

i met a girl 1st yesterday (online of course) following my latest disaster with somebody else earlier this week. she is same age as me (31) but hot - great legs -, does kickboxing 4x a week. she is established businesswoman so much much better than the girls i usually date. and i must really like her because she is the 1st girl i`ve dated since my ever 1st gf 2x and still havent lost interest. in fact she is getting addictive which bothers me...

after a kiss close at my place yesterday (her having to leave was legit reason) i decided to go for the 2nd date right today as she is going to leave town for about a week tomorrow.

the text i sent was subtly suggesting i was inviting her for sex to my place for which she said yes in a naughty way so i thought it was on, and guaranteed score. 20mins before the date she sent an (i think) backpedalling text asking some details that suggested she misunderstood my message - which im 100% sure didnt just changed her mind. then she explicitly told me she was coming over for an hour and i shouldnt have expected sex

i felt insulted that i was rejected for sex - im like a girl so i decided to go for the friendzoning trick >>> told her ok lets meet at the lobby of my place then walk over for a dinner and call it a day. i wanted to eat there anyway so at least i wasnt going alone.

- when we met she was very cold (me too as i was upset), i greeted her `hello my friend`. we still started a general, surface conversation which we continued in the restaurant as well.
- we then got into deeper topics like friendship, family, relationships, etc and found out she was the introverted type - keeps contact with a small number of people but she builds deeper connection with them - just like me.
- we spoke about the message i sent to her and joked about it that now i think she is the most innocent, chaste girl ever on earth for which she said `im not THAT innocent` - we played with this topic a bit me trying to set her as a sexual predator as she felt challenged to prove she is not a nun - still at the end i told her that i friendzoned her - i have a girl friend now. she paused a bit - she seemed to get off balance - and she said `im too pretty to be your friend`
- i invited her to get back to my place and try my massage chair which she didnt do yesterday and call it a day - she agreed but pointed out again i shouldnt have expected sex
- on the way back she told me she was sick (sore throat) and was on antibiotics which explained a lot to me
- back at my place while in the massage chair she got more sexual & well its enough to say my fingers ended up in her vagina and her hands on my cock but was still unable to make her submit so we said goodbye in a quite steamy situation.

sent her a texts 15mins after she left `a great night again <name> i like suprises drop me a text when back in town & in the mood for a followup! - statvm`. she replied thanking for the lovely evening & staying in touch.

what puzzles me:
- she is clearly into me, wet when together, lets me do lots of stuff even initiates and still cannot go for the score even after the 2nd date
- despite of this im still interested
- i feel she is in charge but she does it in a way that its not obvious or offensive or stuff, she is SMOOTH

what i learnt/think:
- dating with 30+ women is very different than dating with a 20-25yr old
- the friendzoning trick is very effective if a girl is interested/invested but you are losing her, thanks guys for a tip as always
- if a girl acts totally disinterested/upset/sad/whatever she might well be interested
- i REALLY REALLY get her laid the next time whatever it takes. this is my last chance if i have another shot

 

[Richard]

Re: FR++ x2 this girl.... ARGH

While I haven't been in this situation myself, I'm going to offer my opinion. Chase in one of his articles, I don't remember which, nor can I find it again. Anyway, Chase has suggested that at times like these, it best to offer a small explanation, or rational ( I guess you would call it that), anyway it went something like this:

You: Look, do you like me?
Her: "Yeah, I like you."
You: "Cool, I like you too. But let's be honest now, if we don't make anything happen now, are we really going to meet up in a few days?"
Her: "Of course we are."
You: "No, we aren't. People say 'Another time, or let's do it later' but later never comes. If you like me and I like you and we want to spend time together, then we should do it right now, because if we don't we'll probably never see each other again. However, if we spend time together right now, we can get to know each other and have a really great time, then we can decide to meet up later we will because we'll have something real going on. Come on."

Thank God for photo-graphic memory. The overall conversation went something like that, not word for word, but fairly close from memory. Anyhow, swap some "spend time together" with more sexual things. If the girl is at your house and sexual escalation is taking place, you should be able to use this to close the deal. The impact will be even bigger as both of you are aware that she is leaving some time soon, and you two really may not see each other again. Basically, insinuate this idea:
"If you and her have mutual interest, then it is best to make the most of it with sex, as, you two may not have another opportunity, and it's something that neither of you want to miss" However, I'd emphasize the fact that, she doesn't want to let the opportunity to have sex with someone she genuinely likes go to waste, and that it needs to happen before it's too late.

-Hope this helped,
Richard

 

[stratvm]

Re: FR++ x2 this girl.... ARGH

While I haven't been in this situation myself, I'm going to offer my opinion. Chase in one of his articles, I don't remember which, nor can I find it again. Anyway, Chase has suggested that at times like these, it best to offer a small explanation, or rational ( I guess you would call it that), anyway it went something like this:

yeah we have a few tactics to choose from indeed but this one i would choose before we get TOO physical. i had to choose fast and given the heat i decided to employ the one which was in an old post on the blog which essentially suggested to make her grab your cock. i combined this with the `stay for a few minutes` a few times trick but wasnt enough. she was really on the edge but whatever - probably we meet later this week but i need to leave abroad soon so we will see.

One thing i began to use in the texting game as of this project - if there is a longer pause between meetups i throw in some short small talk text because i lost a few potentials before for being TOO minimalist. i do feel my fundamentals are not good enough to keep interest without a short ping.

`MOVE FAST` - unknown philosopher

 

[Laowai]

i dont know what i`m doing wrong. or well i suppose i know but it`s just ridiculous.

So what do you think it is you're doing wrong? I have a hunch.

i met a girl 1st yesterday (online of course) following my latest disaster with somebody else earlier this week.

From now on, stop framing things in the negative. Refer to it as a learning experience or simply a "date". No more negativity. Your negativity is symptomatic for your mindset.

in fact she is getting addictive which bothers me..

You met her once, and she is addictive already? How so?

after a kiss close at my place yesterday (her having to leave was legit reason) i decided to go for the 2nd date right today as she is going to leave town for about a week tomorrow.

High Five!

the text i sent was subtly suggesting i was inviting her for sex to my place for which she said yes in a naughty way so i thought it was on, and guaranteed score. 20mins before the date she sent an (i think) backpedalling text asking some details that suggested she misunderstood my message - which im 100% sure didnt just changed her mind. then she explicitly told me she was coming over for an hour and i shouldnt have expected sex

If she time constraints like that, you must be more aware of the time limit you're operating within. I would probably not have expected anythingto go down then or even pushed for it. The more you push for it, the more you can come across as only wanting to bang her, because she will see it as you are only trying to use her.

Let me ask you, apart from her appearance, what do you like about this girl? Make sure you let her know about this.

she said yes in a naughty way so i thought it was on, and guaranteed score.

Setting high expectations. Don't expect anything and you will be more calm and relaxed.

i felt insulted that i was rejected for sex - im like a girl so i decided to go for the friendzoning trick >>> told her ok lets meet at the lobby of my place then walk over for a dinner and call it a day. i wanted to eat there anyway so at least i wasnt going alone.

Stop reacting. This is exactly what I'm talking about when I say that you're reactive. Take it easy and chill. It doesn't matter. You feeling insulted tells me that you keep expecting her to be one of those girls you watch on redtube, and that you don't really treat her like a person... you're completely insensitive to her feelings, and that's why you don't get her.

Bro, I used to be just that way, that's why I keep trying to hammer this point home so that you can avoid the frustrations of having so many girls leave again and again, even girls who are really attracted to you.

- when we met she was very cold (me too as i was upset), i greeted her `hello my friend`. we still started a general, surface conversation which we continued in the restaurant as well.

You're reacting again. Stop projecting your expectations onto other people. That way you're only setting yourself up for more frustrations because people can sense your agenda and it turns them off.

- we then got into deeper topics like friendship, family, relationships, etc and found out she was the introverted type - keeps contact with a small number of people but she builds deeper connection with them - just like me.

All good.

still at the end i told her that i friendzoned her - i have a girl friend now. she paused a bit - she seemed to get off balance - and she said `im too pretty to be your friend`

Hadn't you just met her the first time the day before, and now you're telling her that you got a GF? Here you are hurting her. This girl likes you to the degree that she will kiss you, and now it sounds like you're punishing her.

she paused a bit - she seemed to get off balance - and she said `im too pretty to be your friend

She is qualifying herself to you because she likes you.

- i invited her to get back to my place and try my massage chair which she didnt do yesterday and call it a day - she agreed but pointed out again i shouldnt have expected sex

When girls say that, it means that they've thought about it happening. Also, because you're not very subtle about communicating your strong expectations of sex, she will reject it rationally and it can enforce her decision later (cause more LMR).

she is clearly into me, wet when together, lets me do lots of stuff even initiates and still cannot go for the score even after the 2nd date

That's because you haven't earned that medal yet Slow down a bit. Qualify her better. Let her know why you like her.

i feel she is in charge but she does it in a way that its not obvious or offensive or stuff, she is SMOOTH

So, you may want to imitate what it is she is doing so you can come across that way to her and future girls.

the friendzoning trick is very effective if a girl is interested/invested but you are losing her, thanks guys for a tip as always

You were never truly loosing her because of her. But you were close to loosing her because of you - by fucking it up by being needy, super outcome-dependent, and reactive. Next time, try to chill more and take it more easy, and try to push less hard.

i REALLY REALLY get her laid the next time whatever it takes. this is my last chance if i have another shot

This is exactly the mindset you must NOT have next time you meet her. This one line totally supports everything else that I wrote. See how outcome-dependent you are?

Just like in your other report, the one key word that will take your game to the next level is this: "chill".

 

[stratvm]

yo Laowai, this report was about the second date with her - the 1st was a quick one as she misunderstood and thought i had only 1h on her & scheduled a meeting with her friend afterwards. in 1,5h i managed to take her home & do a kiss close and i was confident it was the right thing to invite her over. plus im using the date compression tactics which seems to work and can recommend it.

From now on, stop framing things in the negative. Refer to it as a learning experience or simply a "date". No more negativity. Your negativity is symptomatic for your mindset.

yes thats true.

You met her once, and she is addictive already? How so?

2x, and the very fact i want to see her 3rd time is a miracle in itself. positive things:
- has a good job managing multiple luxury fashion brands in the country so i can respect her
- she is an asset not a liability
- intelligent, able to lead a conversation on pretty much about everything im interested in, she is not annoying like most of the girls i meet
- works a lot & still pays attention to her body, this dedication ensures she doesnt get fat after being together for a month
- doesnt go out, stays at home reading books, chat with her friends over skype & stuff
- though i feel she likes to be in charge she is VERY subtle about it and when she feels she reaches the limits she backs off
- introverted, chooses only a few people she keeps around, this limits the potential for future cheating

The more you push for it, the more you can come across as only wanting to bang her, because she will see it as you are only trying to use her.

yeh this is why i went for the friendzoning tactics straight after receiving her text to avoid looking needy.

You feeling insulted tells me that you keep expecting her to be one of those girls you watch on redtube, and that you don't really treat her like a person...

not really im just trying to move as fast as possible to seal the deal before date 3. for me 1st time sex is the single most important occasion with a girl because i think this is the ONLY proof she likes you. after that im fairly relaxed, i dont have that high sex drive tbh.

Bro, I used to be just that way, that's why I keep trying to hammer this point home so that you can avoid the frustrations of having so many girls leave again and again, even girls who are really attracted to you.

thanks for the headsup man, this can really be the reason why im getting so many FR++-es. other thing that bothers me is that i usually get boyfriendzoned. very frustrating.

because people can sense your agenda and it turns them off.

well this is something thats confusing me. we are supposed to open direct & be sexy so they HAVE to know what the agenda is. its just we have to level up our fundamentals or look for the type & quality of girls who are more receptive to us, isnt it?

still at the end i told her that i friendzoned her - i have a girl friend now. she paused a bit - she seemed to get off balance - and she said `im too pretty to be your friend`

Hadn't you just met her the first time the day before, and now you're telling her that you got a GF? Here you are hurting her. This girl likes you to the degree that she will kiss you, and now it sounds like you're punishing her.

no, i told her that i consider her to be my friend. a friend who is a girl. (i read this in an article in the blog to be efficient and i think this challenged her enough to initiate the kiss at home later where i didnt push anything at all). she was the 2nd girl i used it and both times they felt challenged to a point when
- girl 1: noooo dont come with this friendship stuff because im attracted to you
- girl 2 (the one we are talking about): ***gets offbalance and tells `im too pretty to be your friend`

That's because you haven't earned that medal yet Slow down a bit. Qualify her better. Let her know why you like her.

thinking about it very much feels i should have already done that, thanks.

anyway i drop her a text on thursday on the meetup as i forgot to mention her i go abroad on monday. last chat was a 3 text round of banter & flashback to the last date yesterday.

 

[stratvm]

just to put an end to the story - i managed to fck up completely.

we had a 2 round texting at the end of which she disappeared - and cant really blame her for that

essentially she returned to me in text the next day and i suggested to let me know when she is back to town & ready to meet for a steamy night before i leave the country for the business trip. she got the hint and replied something like "hahaha i see u dont take any chances i misunderstand ur intentions lol"
for which i replied & buried myself for good:
"it is my role to move things forward miss. and yours is to resist as much as possible..."
"though i feel i am the one who needs to resist... "

i think i replied this because i felt sure i can score and wasnt paying attantion to what i write but needless to say i havent heard about her since then. i deleted all her contact info 2 days later to prevent myself from chasing her as i felt i managed to fck up completely and turning anything from here would be too much work. maybe pinging her after i returned from abroad would have made sense but i tend to rage quit from stories like this.

probably take a break from the game again, too much failure without results. trading precious metals even in this market environment is easier & more rewarding than taking quality = not subpar girls to bed.

 

[stratvm]

actually she texted me last saturday asking if i was still abroad, we set up 2 dates since then and yesterday i converted this report to an LR.

there is not much to say other than it was truly surprising to me that she texted me after so long. guess the moral of the story is that girls are terribly slow when it comes to moving things forward.

 

[Chase]

Strat-

actually she texted me last saturday asking if i was still abroad, we set up 2 dates since then and yesterday i converted this report to an LR.

there is not much to say other than it was truly surprising to me that she texted me after so long. guess the moral of the story is that girls are terribly slow when it comes to moving things forward.

Nice job wrapping up one you thought you had, then lost.

Sometimes if a girl felt like you liked her and did everything in your power to try to get her but that SHE played a little too hard to get, she'll realize, "Oh, drat, I had him, and then I let him get away by overplaying my hand," and then she'll start pursuing you a little bit.

Scarcity can work wonders in certain situations.

Chase