This happened to me yesterday evening.
Since there are 3 weeks of Easter break and I was taking a train to my home town to meet with old friends and friends who study abroad(who were coming home).
I had had a couple of bad days (you know when everything is coming out wrong and like the whole universe is against you).
I was tired cause it was a long day and the train was departing at 7p.m. and it was going to be a 5 hour ride.
I had a nice horror book with me and my Ipod.
SO the last thing on my mind was girls and pick-up.. and when I'm in that kind of a mood I'm edgy, don't look approachable and basically have "Fuck Off" written on my forehead.
So I get to the train station a bit early and I get in the train like 30min before it was supposed to leave. I was the only person in the entire train (this btw was one of those trains that is like the inside of a plane, not the trains where every cart has like 8 seats and is sepparated from all the others)
I sit down and make myself comfortable and I start reading my book.
15 minutes later a girl comes(this was a girl that was breath takingly gorgeous) and asks me "is this seat taken?" about the seat next to me.
I said "No", but the moment I looked at her I told myself: "she's super beautifull but she's probably not a nice person and a bitch, so I'm not in the mood for that "
And I continue to read my book.
A few minutes later she aks me "Do you have any idea when the train is supposed to leave?" and I again say "No".
The train finally started moving and 20 minutes later she asked me something about the book like "Is that book is interesting what is it about?" and I again said something like "yeah".
At this point I was thinking to myself "What the hell does she want from me?!? Just leave me alone".
In my mind she wasn't anymore a gourgeous girl that I'm attracted to. She was some stuck up bitch, that was a mean peson that only wanted to do me harm.
And this was from the moment I saw her, purely based on her looks.
So I put the headphones and maxed the volume.
An hour passed and my phone rang so I stopped the music and reading and answered my phone. When I hand up the girl made a comment about the music I was listening.
It was sth like "wow this is an interesting style you're listening to" (cause I listen to rock music that is made after 2000 like: Linkin Park, Story of the year, Rise Against, Paramore, The letter black, Icon for hire, Black veil brides... etc, and this style of music is not at all common in my country - very few people listen to that kind of music)
And I again said something like "yeah" and put the headphones on again.
This morning when I woke up and thought about it I realised what actually happened:
- this was a gorgeous girl - the kind I'd sleep with in a heartbeat or date
- she showed massive amounts of interest:
- she sat next to me in an empty train with hundreds of other seats
- she made 4 attemts to open me and start a conversation
-she was taking a risk since I wasn;t looking approachable and what she did wasn't subtle (again in a completelly empty train to sit next to the only guy there.. that is not subtle at all)
But since I was in a bad mood and because she was so beautiful I just went into Auto-rejection from the second I saw her.
And she wasn't going to be mean to me if I started talking to her - she approached me and tried to start a conversation 4 times...
But in my mind she was that mean bitch that if said sth to her would start being mean and bitchy..
No matter what she would've done there was no way for me to think of her better.. I was already in auto-rejection.
And I realised what an ass I was to her - I mean she must have felt pretty bad and I missed a golden opportunity.
And this was not because:
- she was mean
- she didn't show any interest
- I wasn't attracted to her
NO! this was simply because I was in a bad mood and thought "a girl this beautiful must be a stuck up bithc" and just went into auto-rejection and didn't notice the massive amounts of attraction she was showing.
And how much she tried to talk to me.
I mean she must have really liked me to try 4 times to talk to me besides me being an ass.
Now I understand what it is like for girls if they percieve you as too much high value and unattainable.
And how important it is to make sure a girl stays out of auto-rejection.
Yeasterday if only I hadn't auto-rejected that gorgeous girl, we would've had a great 4-5 hours of conversation, we would've set up a date and I would've closed on that date..
So now I understad why Chase is always taling about making sure the girl doesn't auto reject.
This is probably THE MOST IMPORTANT THING to make sure you do right.
Cause no matter if your fundamentals are not a 100% or you're not the best at building comfort/raport etc, there still will be girls that like you. But if you make them go into auto-rejection.. it's game over.
Thinking back I don't know what this girl could've done to get me out of it - probably be super obvious and saying "Hey I like you! I won't be a bitch to you if you talk to me. I want to get to know you and go on a date with you" and you and I both know this is never going to happen for a girl to be this obvious after you've been a dick to her.
Now I feel really stupid cause I mean she was really breathtaking.. So I decided some things have to change in my outlook:
- I must never judge what kind of person a girl is, simply based on her looks
- I must never judge a girl's atteinability based on her looks
- I must make sure not to put girls into auto-rejection ---> striking the balance between being a challenge but being atteinable enough that she thinks if she works hard enough - she CAN get me
-I must assume that every girl I find attractive, finds me attractive also and wants me, until she proves me wrong with her actions(not words like Chase talks to look for results and not reactions)
I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Since there are 3 weeks of Easter break and I was taking a train to my home town to meet with old friends and friends who study abroad(who were coming home).
I had had a couple of bad days (you know when everything is coming out wrong and like the whole universe is against you).
I was tired cause it was a long day and the train was departing at 7p.m. and it was going to be a 5 hour ride.
I had a nice horror book with me and my Ipod.
SO the last thing on my mind was girls and pick-up.. and when I'm in that kind of a mood I'm edgy, don't look approachable and basically have "Fuck Off" written on my forehead.
So I get to the train station a bit early and I get in the train like 30min before it was supposed to leave. I was the only person in the entire train (this btw was one of those trains that is like the inside of a plane, not the trains where every cart has like 8 seats and is sepparated from all the others)
I sit down and make myself comfortable and I start reading my book.
15 minutes later a girl comes(this was a girl that was breath takingly gorgeous) and asks me "is this seat taken?" about the seat next to me.
I said "No", but the moment I looked at her I told myself: "she's super beautifull but she's probably not a nice person and a bitch, so I'm not in the mood for that "
And I continue to read my book.
A few minutes later she aks me "Do you have any idea when the train is supposed to leave?" and I again say "No".
The train finally started moving and 20 minutes later she asked me something about the book like "Is that book is interesting what is it about?" and I again said something like "yeah".
At this point I was thinking to myself "What the hell does she want from me?!? Just leave me alone".
In my mind she wasn't anymore a gourgeous girl that I'm attracted to. She was some stuck up bitch, that was a mean peson that only wanted to do me harm.
And this was from the moment I saw her, purely based on her looks.
So I put the headphones and maxed the volume.
An hour passed and my phone rang so I stopped the music and reading and answered my phone. When I hand up the girl made a comment about the music I was listening.
It was sth like "wow this is an interesting style you're listening to" (cause I listen to rock music that is made after 2000 like: Linkin Park, Story of the year, Rise Against, Paramore, The letter black, Icon for hire, Black veil brides... etc, and this style of music is not at all common in my country - very few people listen to that kind of music)
And I again said something like "yeah" and put the headphones on again.
This morning when I woke up and thought about it I realised what actually happened:
- this was a gorgeous girl - the kind I'd sleep with in a heartbeat or date
- she showed massive amounts of interest:
- she sat next to me in an empty train with hundreds of other seats
- she made 4 attemts to open me and start a conversation
-she was taking a risk since I wasn;t looking approachable and what she did wasn't subtle (again in a completelly empty train to sit next to the only guy there.. that is not subtle at all)
But since I was in a bad mood and because she was so beautiful I just went into Auto-rejection from the second I saw her.
And she wasn't going to be mean to me if I started talking to her - she approached me and tried to start a conversation 4 times...
But in my mind she was that mean bitch that if said sth to her would start being mean and bitchy..
No matter what she would've done there was no way for me to think of her better.. I was already in auto-rejection.
And I realised what an ass I was to her - I mean she must have felt pretty bad and I missed a golden opportunity.
And this was not because:
- she was mean
- she didn't show any interest
- I wasn't attracted to her
NO! this was simply because I was in a bad mood and thought "a girl this beautiful must be a stuck up bithc" and just went into auto-rejection and didn't notice the massive amounts of attraction she was showing.
And how much she tried to talk to me.
I mean she must have really liked me to try 4 times to talk to me besides me being an ass.
Now I understand what it is like for girls if they percieve you as too much high value and unattainable.
And how important it is to make sure a girl stays out of auto-rejection.
Yeasterday if only I hadn't auto-rejected that gorgeous girl, we would've had a great 4-5 hours of conversation, we would've set up a date and I would've closed on that date..
So now I understad why Chase is always taling about making sure the girl doesn't auto reject.
This is probably THE MOST IMPORTANT THING to make sure you do right.
Cause no matter if your fundamentals are not a 100% or you're not the best at building comfort/raport etc, there still will be girls that like you. But if you make them go into auto-rejection.. it's game over.
Thinking back I don't know what this girl could've done to get me out of it - probably be super obvious and saying "Hey I like you! I won't be a bitch to you if you talk to me. I want to get to know you and go on a date with you" and you and I both know this is never going to happen for a girl to be this obvious after you've been a dick to her.
Now I feel really stupid cause I mean she was really breathtaking.. So I decided some things have to change in my outlook:
- I must never judge what kind of person a girl is, simply based on her looks
- I must never judge a girl's atteinability based on her looks
- I must make sure not to put girls into auto-rejection ---> striking the balance between being a challenge but being atteinable enough that she thinks if she works hard enough - she CAN get me
-I must assume that every girl I find attractive, finds me attractive also and wants me, until she proves me wrong with her actions(not words like Chase talks to look for results and not reactions)
I'd like to hear your thoughts.
