You guys a couple?

[Fuck This]

Ok, do I give off the Boyfriend/Husband vibe when I am around women?   

In the last few months, in the company of 5 different women I've had numerous men and a couple women whom I'd just met, ask me:

Is this your wife? ( a party crasher referring to a fellow female at a party) (twice with this woman)

So are you guys dating? (a long time close platonic friend's neighbor asked us at his game watching party)

Oh I remember you, you are So and So's boyfriend right? (from a single available woman who I'd just met but knew my friend)  

You guys LOOK like a couple....

I saw the shirt your wife was wearing, they did really good in the playoffs this year.  (Male Stranger in a grocery store)
  
So how long have you guys been married?  (referring to a woman in a bar Id met that night.).


Incidentally, I never got asked that about my wife and I when I was married...

My theory is that the guys are trying to see if the women around me are available with the questions. Or vice versa if I'm available....

Thoughts?

 

[Sandman]

Yes, that's exactly it. With women I'd assume they were interested in you.

 

[Richard]

I'd say it's more auto-piloted social conditioning - typically, people see a guy with a girl and the assumption is always made.

Hell, dude, when I go out to the mall with my sister I've had people ask if she was my girlfriend.

Small note, though, I'd say the differences in how that question is asked reveal different intentions: Big difference between "Is this your wife/girlfriend?" and "Aren't you so and so's boyfriend?"

-Richard

 

[Fuck This]

Small note, though, I'd say the differences in how that question is asked reveal different intentions: Big difference between "Is this your wife/girlfriend?" and "Aren't you so and so's boyfriend?"

-Richard

Expand on this if you would like

 

[Richard]

Small note, though, I'd say the differences in how that question is asked reveal different intentions: Big difference between "Is this your wife/girlfriend?" and "Aren't you so and so's boyfriend?"

-Richard

Expand on this if you would like

TR,

No problem. One of the things I picked up on naturally in regards to human psychology is the tiny differences in how people say things and how those differences imply different things. In the case above, "Is this your wife/girlfriend" is a lot more direct and firm so I'd assume the person asking is interested in you or her. "Aren't you so and so's boyfriend?" feels a lot more casual and gives me the impression of building rapport/familiarity rather than being interested in you or not.

Same idea can be applied to the different phrases you pointed out. Running through them, it looks like most of them can be slotted into "Interest" vs "Familiarity/Rapport" with the nuance being how direct the question is being asked.

-Richard

 

[kalyan]

They see you with agirl, and they see you are comfortable. Most guys aren't comfortable around girlsunless they are dating/ married, hence they assume you guys are married. I once went with a girl i've bedded to a friend's party, and another girl who saw me asked me if she's my wife. Another one (much older and ore confident) straight up asked me if i'm fucking that girl. The point is, they are intrigued. I also agree with richard's point, that wording mattes. The girls asked in a ay to see my dating situation- the underlying tone is "tell me if that girl's in your radar because if not,im interested)