Calls & Texts Young Girls Chasing Over Text

[Troy]

Am I Discouraging Good Behaviour

Every now and again I get a girl showing interest in me but I have that interest go away quickly when I give her my number and we start texting. The girls that I have numbers for are all teens. As a refresher I'm in senior high school so I have girls from ages 13 to 18 in my phone. Most of them don't have privileges from parents to do as they like. Which means that the typical question "ask a girl out on a date " is usually met with resistance. Most teens spend a lot of time texting and so do I. I mainly text in the evening going into late night and I make phone calls whenever possible too.

I prefer phone calls but some girls are not comfortable with calls for reasons such as: parents questioning them why they are on the phone and taking away their phones from time to time, girls having eavesdropping family members, or they genuinely feel uncomfortable talking on the phone. I can deal with girls feeling uncomfortable on calls. I just have to focus on making the conversation fun and interesting.

I don't have the whole day to idle with aimless texting and receiving a text at mid - day is a text that gets a reply in the evening. I've got stuff to do: chores, improving my fundamentals, school work, going out and other activities. A girl ( who is 14 ) texted me at 3:09pm today saying " Hey " and I haven't replied yet. This is something that I do all the time to people that text me during the day when I'm genuinely busy. I do believe in getting back to people and giving them good feelings. I don't want girls to think I'm not interested in them because I'm replying to their texts 6 hours later. I reply when I have time to have a text conversation.


Losing Girl's Following This Approach

I don't like having such a busy daily schedule; I almost don't have time for myself and I'm not very good at multitasking. I feel bad ignoring a girl's text, posibly a girl that sees me as special that she wants to spend time with. I know it's not wise to ignore people if I want to get somewhere with them. Note what occurs when I keep not having the time of day to talk to a girl over text:

"She starts to ignore me in person, stops texting me, answering my phone calls, EVERYTHING! All because I don't have time to text her back. Her attraction for me expires. I think the problem is that I'm not offering enough value to get her to keep chasing even though I'm taking a long time to reply. This is a different game from what adults wolud play. Girl's over 20 have the privilege to go meet a guy whenever he asks for a date and talk to who ever they want anytime. Girl's under 18 have to ask mom and dad if they can go out and if they can get money to talk on the phone. Hence, while I'm not moving fast enough because of situations outside my control, I'm still losing. I love these chicks texting me, I appreciate hearing from them no matter what.


How Do I Fix This?

Because this happens to me all the time I fear having girls contact me ( yeah I know it sounds ridiculous. I want them to chase me but when they chase over text I can't maintain the chasing when I meet them in person.) Should I tell girls when to text me? Should I apologize for taking long to reply? How do I handle girls that want to text 6 hours everyday ( which is ridiculous to do )? And how do I give a girl just enough so she keeps contacting me? Thanks guys!

Troy

 

[Franco]

Troy,

It doesn't sound to me like you're losing these girls because you're taking too long to text them back. It is more likely that the reason you are losing them is either because:

• (1) They were never interested in you romantically to begin with, or
  
  (2) You aren't setting up a meet somewhere within the first few texts

With girls in high school, you just want to set up easy dates with places like Golden Spoon, Jamba Juice, Sprinkles, etc. These are places they can comfortably get to (and usually go to all the time) without too much pressure on them. At that point, it's your responsibility to find appropriate escalation locations if you want to push for something more.

As long as you're responding in a friendly way when these girls text you, it shouldn't matter how long it takes you to reply. Unless they were expecting you to reply quickly because of a prior promise or commitment, there is no expectations on their end, and usually not replying right away only builds up more intrigue as to why you are not responding quickly, making them more curious about you.

- Franco

 

[Troy]

Hey Franco,

Some of the girls I get chasing me over text I only see as friends. I rarely get a girl that I like texting me. Franco, have you ever had an experience where the girl you like doesn't pay you any mind and the girl who you wouldn't date is all over you? That happens a lot to me and I don't know why. I have all these chicks that I'm not interested in texting me and the girls I like don't text me.

The girls who chase me are usually way down in the looks department who view me as a handsome guy. But I put these girls in the friend zone. I'm not interested in dating them so I don't ask them out. Do you think this is the right approach? And is being friends with a girl difficult if to achieve if she likes you but you only view her as a friend. What happens is a girl likes me but I do nothing but talk to her as a friend then her attraction expires. How would I solve this?

Lastly, girls spend a lot of time texting. When I have a text conversation it goes on for 3 to 4 hours which is a ridiculously long time if you ask me. With some girls the only option I can think of is to TEXT TILL THEY GET COMFORTABLE ESPECIALLY WITH GIRLS UNDER 17. That's my experience. I frequently run out of things to talk about after I've known a girl for 2 weeks. We text so often that its hard to find stuff to keep talking about. Texting is a poor way to have conversations because they go boring after awhile.How do I have a interesting text conversation? Thanks

Troy

 

[Franco]

Troy,

Franco, have you ever had an experience where the girl you like doesn't pay you any mind and the girl who you wouldn't date is all over you? That happens a lot to me and I don't know why. I have all these chicks that I'm not interested in texting me and the girls I like don't text me.

Yep. I actually had to consciously stop texting the girls I didn't like as much because it kept making them think that I wanted to talk to them. With one girl, I eventually had to start completely ignoring her texts because she was basically attempting to invite herself over to see me, and it was really annoying. With most girls, you can just reply with short sentences that don't lead the conversation anywhere while taking long periods of time to respond. They usually get the hint, eventually.

I don't really think too much about the girls I "like" responding or not responding to me because I'm constantly meeting new women I like until one finally goes on a date with me. If you're spending so much time thinking about why a girl who seemed cool isn't texting you back, it means you aren't spending enough time approaching new ones who will text you back. Any girl (at any time) can decide she does or does not want to text you back. Your job isn't to worry so much about the ones who don't text you back and keep moving things forward with the ones who DO text you back (or go out and meet more women).

The girls who chase me are usually way down in the looks department who view me as a handsome guy. But I put these girls in the friend zone. I'm not interested in dating them so I don't ask them out. Do you think this is the right approach?

I won't really friend-zone any girls unless I have a really good reason for it (i.e. they are a part of my extended social circle or they provide some very unique value/opportunities in my life). If I'm not attracted to her and not interested in moving things forward, I'll do what I mentioned above in your first question and slowly peel them off of me. It's up to you, but if you're getting annoyed with these girls contacting you, then you need to stop talking to them and they'll get the hint.

What happens is a girl likes me but I do nothing but talk to her as a friend then her attraction expires. How would I solve this?

You have to move quickly if you want to bed her (by inviting her out on a date). If you don't want to bed her or see her as a sexual option and then continually treat her as a "friend" by contacting her, then keeping her attraction is impossible. I'm not sure why you would keep the girl around (unless it's a special situation, like I mentioned above, where she provides unique value to you).

When I have a text conversation it goes on for 3 to 4 hours which is a ridiculously long time if you ask me. With some girls the only option I can think of is to TEXT TILL THEY GET COMFORTABLE ESPECIALLY WITH GIRLS UNDER 17. That's my experience.

Why do you do this? It goes against everything we tell you to do here when it comes to texting women. You need to send VERY few texts, and you need to invite them out on a date ASAP. I talk about this issue in-depth in my recent podcast, so I would listen to that here:

• GirlsChase Interview Series: Franco

- Franco

 

[Troy]

Merry Christmas Franco!

Thanks for the detailed reply. I downloaded and listened to the podcast and I like it. You went into even more detail in the podcast so all my questions were answered. I'll keep this advice in mind and do it and see how it goes. Thanks bro!

P. S. I'm voting for Colt to be on the next podcast

Troy