Your 20s, money, long term career and fear of falling behind. Thoughts?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Maybe it is my upbringing speaking or immigrant parenting, who knows what.

I notice that people define success as either having been enrolled into medical/professional school or getting that nice high paying job on Wall Street where you work 80 hours a week to make money.

Lately, I have been struggling a bit here. I took a less prestigious financial job so I do not have to work 80+ hours a week but now I am starting to think a bit more about life. For a while now, I have also wanted to work at a bar or nightclub while I am young enough in order to get a taste of that scene. I have thought about balancing both out because I want my 20s to matter and to mean something, this would mean working at least 70 hours a week.

Now here is the other issue I face, this fear of falling behind in regards to your career and just financially in general while chasing life.

Just thinking about where you would be in your 30s compared to your friends who have stable incomes of more than six figures or how what you do in your 20s would affect some long-term opportunities for your 30s.

Like what if I am 35 and realize that now I want a stable life, instead of putting my dick into every pussy that walks I actually do want marriage and kids.

It is like I chase this life I want now where I try to get the cash along with the excitement (do want to get that job at a nightclub on the side) but then think how it fucks me over 10 years from now.

Any thoughts?

 

[Mr.Rob]

Dude you just have to make a decision and run with it. I personally wouldn't try to do both, not that's impossible but you'll end up halfassing both and not getting 100% out of either (which may be fine for you but I'm not about doing anything unless is 100% but thats me). I'd either go all in quit your job, get into the nightclub industry and just make it 3-5 year project to build the most badass party playboy lifestyle that you can and live it up and not think twice about whether you made the best decision or not.

OR forget living the most badass playboy party lifestyle and go hustle your ass off and make a million dollars, date/fuck hot women as you do and build a harem of women as you get more powerful/successful but keep your main focus on advancing your career and making a million dollars.

You can either be the social champion party playboy or you can be the "Mad Men Don Draper" esque powerful millionaire that gets any women he wants, but you can't be the Don Draper by day that changes into party palyboy extraordinaire by night... or at least not do it well. Both are equally cool and attractive from a seduction standpoint and respectable enough.

I'd make your decision based on which one will allow you to not have that nagging "what if" in the back of your mind once you commit to one of those lifestyles.

Lastly with regards to "falling behind" your peers, who gives a fuck what they think or if your less rich than them. Money doesn't equal happiness. The level of income to be the happiest is between $55-75K per year in America. If you really want to live like a king you can always figure out how to work your skillset remotely and move to a low income country where you can live like a millionaire on $70K per year. But who gives a fuck about "falling behind" by America's standards.

Hope that helps. Consider your values and what experiences are going to make you most excited to live and go do that accordingly.

Cheers mate,
-Rob

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Except there is a catch to your proposal Mr. Rob

You see, my soul tells me to chase work in the nightclub industry but quite frankly if I quit my current job at a prestigious company lots of young people want to get into, I'd have killed my career. I mean it would be tough for me to get hired at a great workplace again in the future and almost impossible for me to revive a respectable corporate career at that point. My thoughts are I have the energy for two jobs but at the same time I am considering what you are saying.

It isn't a decision that I can just run with because my corporate job pays a very good salary, one that allows me to live in one of the most expensive places in the country without that many issues. If I quit, then it would be career suicide and one that I could not recover from in my field.

As you can see, that is why I made this post.

 

[Mr.Rob]

So you have to choose whats more important to you in the long run career/stable future with good income or playboy/nightlife future with awesome experiences but not good income (i.e. you'll have to give up your nice cushy lifestyle and a few years of saving for the future and securing a solid standing ground in the world.)

If you go the party lifestyle route I do agree you will "fall behind" but that doesn't mean if you decide 3-5 years later your going to be unemployable. Sure you'll probably have to start back at square one and start over in a more entry level position but you can just go from there and carve a lane out from there, so be it.

I find it hard to believe that if your a valuable addition to the corporate world that you wouldn't be sought out for your past experience you've accumulated even if it had been a while. Perhaps I have a skewed outlook though coming from a career path in professional business to business corporate sales trajectory and that hot talent for my career path is in high demand and maybe your an engineer or finance guy and its different for you? I've been unemployed for a year now and I still get at least 1 job offers a month to make at least $50K starting salary plus commission. I could go another 2 years and reach back out to my corporate network and get hired right off the bat easy.

Again I'm not going to get hired straight into management or VP position but I'm going to get a job at a respectable company with a clear cut path for advancement assuming I hit my numbers/goals.

 

[Chase]

Another way to put what Rob is saying, Oh Pry:

Two types of folks in this world. There are those who decide "There are things I want to do with my life", and immediately get to work either doing those things, or methodically putting the pieces in place they need to be able to do those things.

And there are those who say "I don't know what I want." Or "There are many things I want." Or "I want X but I wish it was easier." So they put off doing the thing(s) they want. They don't start putting in place the pieces they need to do things they want. They deliberate, delay, deliberate, delay.

Those latter people are the people filled with regret later in life. I've never heard a banker who worked 80 hours a week and made mountains of cash say, in dead seriousness, "I wish I'd been a bartender in my 20s instead of stack cash." Likewise, never have I heard a guy who was a bartender in his 20s and shagged 100s of bar chicks off that say, in dead seriousness, "I wish I'd been a banker in my 20s and stacked piles of cash." These guys might say these things as throwaway lines to make themselves look humble or to use a little self-deprecation but they don't experience a whole lot of regret over their choices.

The guys who regret are the ones who sat on their thumbs as the years ticked by, waiting to catch the perfect decision at the perfect moment, which of course never shows up.

Then they wake up one day and realize they are old, and they never did any of the things they wanted to do in their youth. And instead squandered their youth puttering about in limbo, hesitation, and endless deliberation.

Some deliberation is good. If it goes on too long though, you'd better go buy a Magic 8 Ball or flip a coin or do whatever you need to do to make a decision, before hours turn into weeks turn into months turn into years, and you're still right where you were when you began to deliberate.

Chase

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Mr Rob:

The issue is, you won't be working for a prestigious company and in professions like Consulting (Strategy) and Investment Banking, it is a death sentence to take time off.

I would say that even in sales, this is the case having had friends that work for some of the top brands in tech. At almost all of these companies, they want kids with internships or those who have had a formal B2B sales role. It is unheard of for a top tier name in the industry to hire someone who broke off from the sales career trajectory. While a start-up might hire you and even some mid-markets too, it will be tough to get a job at some of the brand names in the industry, not even tough just impossible.

Chase:

Thankfully I am not in IB.

Its great you decided to comment on my post because on a post you made about bartending jobs (think it was about lay counts), you said one could get this on top of a 9 to 5. I am finding through having tried it out myself in looking for a job, most good bars which would make it easy for me to live the party lifestyle aren't hiring part time workers at all, not even for barback positions!

Could be an NYC thing man but given that I barely work 50 hours a week now, I am more than sure that I could make it happen to where I keep my career on track and spend the rest of the time at bars and nightclubs getting that experience. Even if I don't get laid as much, at least I would have worked at such a place without throwing a great career away.

As for your post, it is my fear to go all in with bartending given that I would be throwing so much away. I knew college kids that did it in college and are now happy with corporate jobs, to me it is a defeat to make a career bartending in my mid-twenties. Like I am making more money than most of those kids and doing better in my career while getting laid just enough, I kind of want to bartend on the side to make my situation come full circle.

To throw away a great career to bartend, it kinda cuts me deep given that these scumbag college kids got to do it while going to class and not having to risk a career.

 

[Forger_38]

I think it can be rewarding to sacrifice a couple years, bust your ass off at work, and earn lots of money. Of course, you could blow it away on hookers, shiny cars or whatever, but I don't recommend it. What I'd recommend to do is that you should say that during 3, maybe 4 years, you'll be working like a mule. If I'm not bad at reading, you're earning a good salary from that job, right? Then go on, work harder, work overtime, and gather money like a squirrel does with nuts.

Then, after these 3 excruciating years (you can have some hobbies, of course! Don't work yourself dead, you'll need that health later on), you can invest that money. Find something trustworthy in the stock options market, and become a shareholder. (be careful with that, you'd better keep an eye on financial news while you're working a lot before investing like that) Start a business. Buy a house, not to live in it, but to rent it. Quality guides are a 2 minute google search away. Trade currencies, or gold, or whatever. Buy land and rent it for people to build stuff on it. Then you'll have a stable source of income that you'll get without working, which means that you'll be able to earn as much, if not more, than when you were working super hard, while having a lighter timetable. Which means you'll have money, and the time to use it. Enjoy!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I think it can be rewarding to sacrifice a couple years, bust your ass off at work, and earn lots of money. Of course, you could blow it away on hookers, shiny cars or whatever, but I don't recommend it. What I'd recommend to do is that you should say that during 3, maybe 4 years, you'll be working like a mule. If I'm not bad at reading, you're earning a good salary from that job, right? Then go on, work harder, work overtime, and gather money like a squirrel does with nuts.

Then, after these 3 excruciating years (you can have some hobbies, of course! Don't work yourself dead, you'll need that health later on), you can invest that money. Find something trustworthy in the stock options market, and become a shareholder. (be careful with that, you'd better keep an eye on financial news while you're working a lot before investing like that) Start a business. Buy a house, not to live in it, but to rent it. Quality guides are a 2 minute google search away. Trade currencies, or gold, or whatever. Buy land and rent it for people to build stuff on it. Then you'll have a stable source of income that you'll get without working, which means that you'll be able to earn as much, if not more, than when you were working super hard, while having a lighter timetable. Which means you'll have money, and the time to use it. Enjoy!

Not sure if you got the point of my thread broski.

 

[sneaky_charm]

Oh Pry,

More experienced members have already chimed in, so I don't know what I can add. However, why the fuck do you give a fuck if you make a bit less money than your friends? Do you really want people in your life who have a BMW and think that you're less than them because you drive a Toyota? I'm not saying live like a monk. But, figure out what amount of money will make YOU comfortable. Do you like a Rolex, or are you happy with a Seiko? Neither is wrong, but it's about what makes you satisfied. What type of house, car, savings etc. do you want? Fuck everyone else. If you think you'll still be comfortable with your income while managing 2 jobs, go for it IF you are a badass at coping with stress. Some friends may stay with you till the day you're 60, but that's not very likely. Most will probably be there for just short durations. If you stay in a lower position, you'll still have friends who are in the same position. Question is, will you be okay with it, or regret it because your former friends have moved up the ladder? Only you can answer that.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I think you are using the word friends very liberally here. The point I made is that if I was to quit a prestigious job I have in exchange for bartending, I would lose. The reason I say that is because a lot of these guys had bartending gigs in college and hedonism which came with it, now they get to work fancy corporate jobs after having had their fun. I am in a situation to where I missed out on college and now I have to take a hit on my career, potentially ruin it, in order to experience the same thing which is too much for me. TBH, I want to have my fucking cake and eat it too, no other way to put it.

This is bullshit, why the fuck can I not get a job at a nightclub or bar because I have a full time job already? Its fucked up.

 

[sneaky_charm]

Okay I get it. I feel the same sometimes, like compared to many others my life sucked over the past 6 years, from 18 to 24.

Do you think you can manage to have enough free time to join the club scene regularly? I mean you won't slay enough pussy as you would being a bartender, but you can still have some. Maybe 24 lays a year instead of 150, but it's still something. It's a compromise, without quitting your job. Unless you have an insanely high sex drive, or like to have new girls every day (which probably we all do), you can still have regular sex if you can convert them into FWBs.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Even 10 lays a year would mean a lot to me in that situation if I could get it working to where I am bartending on the side but the shit evades me :'(

 

[Kvothe]

Oh Pry,

You have a limited amount of time on this world. Guessing your age is about 25-27, so assuming that our best years last until 35, you only have 10 years of prime time left. You can’t do everything, and everything you choose to do means sacrificing something else (unless you are okay being mediocre in many things). So deliberate and internalize your deliberations, and then let your gut pick for yout, and then don’t look back.

 

[sneaky_charm]

Even 10 lays a year would mean a lot to me in that situation if I could get it working to where I am bartending on the side but the shit evades me :'(

I didn't exactly understand what you meant. Did you mean even if you are getting 10 lays a year, you would still want to be a bartender? Or, do you mean your game at this point is not good enough to get 10 lays a year, and think that bartending could change that?

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Even 10 lays a year would mean a lot to me in that situation if I could get it working to where I am bartending on the side but the shit evades me :'(

I didn't exactly understand what you meant. Did you mean even if you are getting 10 lays a year, you would still want to be a bartender?

That is what I meant, involvement in the party scene means much more to me.

 

[BlackBolt]

Having a great career + large amounts of disposable income vs sacrificing that to possibly have a better night life and more access to women. I don't understand why this is even a debate. More money and prestige yields better results, by far and all things equal, a man with more prestige, power, and wealth is easily more attractive than the same man without that.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Wanting to know as someone myself, are you guys sure that bartending and nightlife work cannot be done part time on top of a 9 to 5? I really want more feedback here.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Looking at this thread and reflecting a bit on my life, I have felt that having this timeline in my head has kept me honest and really pushed me to do better. When you have this urgency in you, I just feel as if you can do so much more with your life and accomplish more things as opposed to not having that sense of urgency. I do not know what life is like after 30 but I do know that I have to make the most of these years of my life.

As for the posts about prestige and money, not exactly. Corporate big wigs are not sleeping with the hottest women and quite frankly, they are losing out on a lot of fun in life outside of work. There is some excitement and fun associated with being a part of the nightlife industry and I want in on it, even Chase made a post about it.

 

[Space]

Oh Pry, here's something for you to maybe consider. But first consider the fact that you had to open this thread in the Off Topic section of the forum.

There is some excitement and fun associated with being a part of the nightlife industry and I want in on it, even Chase made a post about it.

I would certainly be interested in reading said post if you can find it! For information purposes only, I'm not planning to join.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Mid 20s now, the thought of starting out as a barback......

Holding my breath on this one guys!