Ah, the bar... one of my favorite places to meet women
You are correct. Numbers usually aren't very reliable if you get them at night. The exception of that rule is if the girl is somewhat on the fringe of your social circle, there will be less of a "stranger" vibe. If the girl is someone that knows a few of your friends and vice-versa, that is a good thing. To add, the goal at night isn't to get her number anyway. You want to escalate on the spot. Find a way to get her back to your place (points on that coming).
A couple things on "presence":
1) Find clever ways to position yourself. Always try to "lock in" somewhere, so you look relaxed. One of my favorites is standing with my back to the bar, leaning up against a bit. You take up a lot of space like this, and people don't have room to sit or stand next to you, so they kind of have to form a half-circle around you. Subtle thing, but can make it seem like people are gathered around you.
2) Similarly, when a group of you head off to a different part of the bar, always be the first one to get comfortable / sit down / etcetera. This subtly makes it seem like you have people following you.
On "process":
I like to open as many girls as possible, obviously. But, if there's a shit ton of people there you can easily narrow down your choices by looking for girls that exhibit these characteristics:
* Wearing revealing clothing
* Hair-primping or other sexy body language
* She is not hyperactive or overly energetic (will have the attention span to carry on a conversation with you)
* You see her receptive to other men
* She smiles or at least loosens up her facial expression when you make eye contact, or looks down
* Is in a group of 3 or less people (girls in larger groups, there is more of a chance to be cock-blocked)
Immediately test for
compliance:
Once you start talking to a girl, you immediately want to test for compliance. Have her move somewhere with you, i.e. "Let's go over there and sit where it's less crowded." You can combine a little touch compliance there as well. Take her hand, or place your hand on the small of her back as you attempt to move her. Compliance is pretty key, as it will help you weed out girls that aren't interested while gaining investment (and also ramps up attraction).
Push-pull:
This is something that is really effective in a social setting. You might be talking to your girl, and her friend will say "I think you guys would make such a cute couple!". Push-pull (verbally) here would look like: "Yes, I think we would too! .... But I don't know, we'd probably just argue all the time" Please keep in mind, negs are NOT really what I consider push-pull and I don't recommend doing it AT ALL. For example, you might think the following is push-pull: "I like your jeans- are those from the 80's? haha! Your butt looks good in them though..." Don't do that. Insulting girls on their style or their hair and what have you isn't necessary and will ruin the interaction more than likely. Push-pull (physical) is also good as it ramps up a ton of sexual tension. Take her hand or pull her into you or something, but then, make sure YOU break the physical contact FIRST.
Deep-dive her: (I shouldn't really have to go into this)
Be aware of clues and signals:
If she is into you, she will give you escalation windows. The faster you can recognize they're there, and hit them, not only does that get you guys moving in the right direction a lot quicker, but it also increases her attraction to you. Women quickly get impatient with men who can't pick up on their clues. If she tells you she's hungry, then invite her to leave and go get some food with you. If she tells you "this place is kinda boring", then invite her to leave and go do something "more fun" with you. You get the point.
As always, move fast:
This probably also goes without saying. But, in a bar, especially the later it gets in the evening, moving fast is pretty key because you have competition and she'll just move on to the next guy if you're going to slow for her. However, as always, read her body language. In a bar, you don't NEED to spend a couple hours with a girl like you would on a regular date, but sometimes YOU DO. Just try to get a good feel for her comfort level, and move as
fast as you can. Don't be too "pushy". Be persistent though. The difference here is that being persistent is you moving forward, and her not being receptive to the advance, and you pulling back and then trying again a little later. Being pushy is when she gives you signals that she's not comfortable enough yet, and you just keep pushing without pulling back and letting her concerns die down a bit before trying again.
Closing:
Don't worry, you don't need some super fantastic reason to go back to your place. A lot of times, I've been painfully transparent when I pull a girl, and she knows we're going to hook up, so she just goes along with it. I'll usually ask a girl if she's hungry, and tell her I have food at my place. Or, I'll tell her I'm enjoying talking to her, but it's a bit loud, and we should go somewhere more quiet. Another one, is to just tell her some dumb excuse like you really want to show her these pictures from a recent vacation (this is where you're being a little transparent). Being a tad transparent or obvious about the context of you guys going to your place can be a good thing, because it will screen out some girls that maybe have no intention of hooking up with you (as in: "oh, I see what he REALLY wants... ", and she'll either go with you or she won't).
NJ
