- Joined
- Nov 12, 2024
- Messages
- 68
There seems to be zero correlation of the trust of a woman and ____ (worthiness as a man or who you are or how you vibe) (as long as you don't do any overt stupid shit like say creepy shit obviously)
Had a 10 minute random convo this misty Sat morning near the corner by where i live as i was walking back home. Mother stopped me while crossing the street, with her 3-4 year old daughter on the back of a kind of tandem bike. i didn't have my glasses on so i couldn't even see their faces at first, but i put them on soon after.
Already you think i'm in trouble. No, they just wanted to talk, about nothing in particular. Maybe the girl initiated it, i don't remember but we ended up talking for what felt like 10 minutes.
My neighborhood and most of my city is so ice cold and reserved and passive aggressive, so this is nice, amazing, refreshing. They were out of my dating range but not everything is about dating. It turns out the mother was from the netherlands. Go figure. I've had my deepest conversations with people from New York here but never locals, always outsiders.
The point is not to rant. I used an extreme subject line ZERO CORRELATION both because it seems absolutely true- that there is a near zero correlation between a trust a man gets and his trustworthiness or even the vibe he presents---- supposing he tries to vibe trustworthiness- social proof notwithstanding because you can't do that alone. I'm saying there's no way to engineer a trust bestowing vibe or eyeball expressions or anything, or at least that I have found out how - at least not without some form of neutering or self-erasure.
The point of me saying this is not to rant but to say this seems absolutely true AND thereby help a man develop both self image and strategy-- grounded on important truths and first principles.
I myself had shudder instinct or pullback energy when talking to this mother and daughter, amazed that they could trust me, a random guy and fearing overstaying my welcome. I guess I have - what do they call it.. internalized oppression. Maybe I do. Maybe it is bad.
I want to build better mental models for things and that is why i lead with truth and principles, to form their foundation.
Environment and one's experiences in them easily shape one's self image for better or worse. This is a warning- a dire warning in some ways.
Trust is mostly everything in seduction and attraction for women. I've known that for years. There may be some caveats. super strong attraction might override what otherwise might be natural mistrust. If she's attracted, she has blind spots. Also maybe for short term hookups in clubs, trust doesn't matter but for the normal feminine dating and love process, most people think trust is absolutely critical if not the bedrock... as one of woman's main desires and needs is to feel safe and one of the man things a man can give is to make her feel protected.
So it is insane and crazy to think a woman's trust or mistrust at least initially might be a function of things that have zero relation to you as a man or being or one who vibes or dresses well by her own standards or stands upright or whatever. ZERO is the word. Maybe it's not absolute zero but i don't think it's much.
Typically a man gets more power as he assumes more responsibility-- for his outcomes and such, but that can only exist where there is correlation. Where he has impact-- otherwise he may get more power when he denies and disclaims responsibility!
Walking down sidewalks or paths, people or girls sometimes look away with their eyes, and sometimes the entire head turns away. That is not the biggest deal as they are strangers but still it is annoying, especially as I try my best to be non threatening and different and vibe peace, love, respect, safety and all that jazz. It is a micro signal.
It is a zero correlation thing, I think. I haven't found the solution but I think this helps us determine what is not the solution. Does that mean people are damaged? Maybe it is just the society, the environment. I know environments are highly variable in terms of personality- both mean and spread (standard deviation).
Optional Tangent: We do live in what i am calling late age 3 society. The first age was being hunter gatherer. The second age was agrarian and highly communal-- marked by lack of grids and need to live with the rhythms of nature. This third age comes about from a decoupling from nature and a coupling to grids and systems and abstractions, drop shipping and plausible deniability. In this late period we have algorithms, 'feeds', 'phones'. It is largely urban and dense physically and vertically but many of the same ideas apply to rural people. It is hyper mobile and spiritually homeless (I mean people don't come from the same place as their ancestors-- land is fungible) and there happens to be high divorce rates in many places. Social contracts as opposed to communities seem to be how things work. Irony is dense but i want to separate out what is intrinsic to a third age and what just happens to exist in ours or in the modern west, which may be irony and divorce.. but those are still environmental factors. Interestingly for you nerds, geometry was the math of the second age-- for surveying and farm measuring. For sure linear algebra is the math of this age- which is the math of bulk data processing. Matrices are big box store items, containers for mass data processing for brute forcing models of life. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not dystopian and i like this stuff. I'm just trying to call it like i see it and it is why we need more humanity now as a conscious effort than ever before. it is the age of sleeping or living largely alone too--even if one has a partner. we used to sleep in groups. I have an entire multi-bedroom unit to myself. I have total sovereignty. I am doing well in this age and learning to navigate and master it- except relationally, which arguably matters most-- and i reach out but everyone else is going straight for disconnection.
Had a 10 minute random convo this misty Sat morning near the corner by where i live as i was walking back home. Mother stopped me while crossing the street, with her 3-4 year old daughter on the back of a kind of tandem bike. i didn't have my glasses on so i couldn't even see their faces at first, but i put them on soon after.
Already you think i'm in trouble. No, they just wanted to talk, about nothing in particular. Maybe the girl initiated it, i don't remember but we ended up talking for what felt like 10 minutes.
My neighborhood and most of my city is so ice cold and reserved and passive aggressive, so this is nice, amazing, refreshing. They were out of my dating range but not everything is about dating. It turns out the mother was from the netherlands. Go figure. I've had my deepest conversations with people from New York here but never locals, always outsiders.
The point is not to rant. I used an extreme subject line ZERO CORRELATION both because it seems absolutely true- that there is a near zero correlation between a trust a man gets and his trustworthiness or even the vibe he presents---- supposing he tries to vibe trustworthiness- social proof notwithstanding because you can't do that alone. I'm saying there's no way to engineer a trust bestowing vibe or eyeball expressions or anything, or at least that I have found out how - at least not without some form of neutering or self-erasure.
The point of me saying this is not to rant but to say this seems absolutely true AND thereby help a man develop both self image and strategy-- grounded on important truths and first principles.
I myself had shudder instinct or pullback energy when talking to this mother and daughter, amazed that they could trust me, a random guy and fearing overstaying my welcome. I guess I have - what do they call it.. internalized oppression. Maybe I do. Maybe it is bad.
I want to build better mental models for things and that is why i lead with truth and principles, to form their foundation.
Environment and one's experiences in them easily shape one's self image for better or worse. This is a warning- a dire warning in some ways.
Trust is mostly everything in seduction and attraction for women. I've known that for years. There may be some caveats. super strong attraction might override what otherwise might be natural mistrust. If she's attracted, she has blind spots. Also maybe for short term hookups in clubs, trust doesn't matter but for the normal feminine dating and love process, most people think trust is absolutely critical if not the bedrock... as one of woman's main desires and needs is to feel safe and one of the man things a man can give is to make her feel protected.
So it is insane and crazy to think a woman's trust or mistrust at least initially might be a function of things that have zero relation to you as a man or being or one who vibes or dresses well by her own standards or stands upright or whatever. ZERO is the word. Maybe it's not absolute zero but i don't think it's much.
Typically a man gets more power as he assumes more responsibility-- for his outcomes and such, but that can only exist where there is correlation. Where he has impact-- otherwise he may get more power when he denies and disclaims responsibility!
Walking down sidewalks or paths, people or girls sometimes look away with their eyes, and sometimes the entire head turns away. That is not the biggest deal as they are strangers but still it is annoying, especially as I try my best to be non threatening and different and vibe peace, love, respect, safety and all that jazz. It is a micro signal.
It is a zero correlation thing, I think. I haven't found the solution but I think this helps us determine what is not the solution. Does that mean people are damaged? Maybe it is just the society, the environment. I know environments are highly variable in terms of personality- both mean and spread (standard deviation).
Optional Tangent: We do live in what i am calling late age 3 society. The first age was being hunter gatherer. The second age was agrarian and highly communal-- marked by lack of grids and need to live with the rhythms of nature. This third age comes about from a decoupling from nature and a coupling to grids and systems and abstractions, drop shipping and plausible deniability. In this late period we have algorithms, 'feeds', 'phones'. It is largely urban and dense physically and vertically but many of the same ideas apply to rural people. It is hyper mobile and spiritually homeless (I mean people don't come from the same place as their ancestors-- land is fungible) and there happens to be high divorce rates in many places. Social contracts as opposed to communities seem to be how things work. Irony is dense but i want to separate out what is intrinsic to a third age and what just happens to exist in ours or in the modern west, which may be irony and divorce.. but those are still environmental factors. Interestingly for you nerds, geometry was the math of the second age-- for surveying and farm measuring. For sure linear algebra is the math of this age- which is the math of bulk data processing. Matrices are big box store items, containers for mass data processing for brute forcing models of life. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not dystopian and i like this stuff. I'm just trying to call it like i see it and it is why we need more humanity now as a conscious effort than ever before. it is the age of sleeping or living largely alone too--even if one has a partner. we used to sleep in groups. I have an entire multi-bedroom unit to myself. I have total sovereignty. I am doing well in this age and learning to navigate and master it- except relationally, which arguably matters most-- and i reach out but everyone else is going straight for disconnection.
