FU  Sleepover after sleepover after sleepover

Not a lot of people post fuck ups here and I think it’s vital in the learning process so here is my contribution. It’s condensed as well.

Friday met this cute small Korean girl outside the bar, she was finding her friends, I approached and said okay let’s go find them together. They weren’t even there lol.

said hey let’s go grab some late night food. Grabbed food at 2 am. Great kino great talking.
Said hey let’s just go hang back at my place everything’s shut down and you’re pretty cool! She said she should go home. I said how about you come over and I’ll drop ya off it’ll be cheaper. She said okay.
back to my place asked if she wanted to come in, she was persistent she stayed outside I go grab my keys inside lol..
Drive her home But make an accidental turn into the city. I said hey let’s explore super late night city she was down.
explored did some hand holding. Went in for a kiss she totally denied it.
Dropped her off at like 6 am.

went on a food date, dropped her off after (she doesn’t have a car) went in for a kiss again denied.

went on another date, brought her back. Escalated nada.

she texts me she wants to hang so we get food and I say let’s watch a movie at my place! She said okay! I have never hung out with a girl like this and not have sex so something strange is up.

we watch a movie. She’s cuddling me, try escalating but she denies it hardcore and then says this

“You know when we are hanging out it’s totally fine, but like when it’s just you and me alone like no movie or food it’s awkward. I’m just not sexually attracted to you! Like I tried multiple times but I’m really not sexually attracted to you! But I’m always like this sex is just sex to me, like I don’t need sex sometimes it hurts too idk maybe some other other day who knows maybe I’m saying this because I’m on my period idk maybe we can be friends”

I just nod my head and be chill about it, yeah I understand I gotcha! But I’m not a friend kind of guy with girls we don’t have to be friends You don’t have to force yourself on me (with a devilish smile)
Drop her off but this time no kiss.

she texts me another day, heyyyyy what are you doing tonight let’s get drunkk
Me sounds like a plan I got drinks at my place

pick her up and she drinks a little bit

every time I close the distance she backs off so I back off and then just go to my phone like nothing happened and change the topic (lol a take away)

drop her off

texts me again hey can I sleepover
In my head ooo it’s on!...maybe who knows

she comes over. We watch another movie. She’s cuddling me. And then we both fall asleep I’m dead tired. But when cuddling I’d go for the boob grab she just covers it and protects it and I back off and then turn To my side like I give up idc anymore. She comes and starts cuddling with me,

I think my fuck up was:
I started off with this bad boy frame, but didn’t stick true to it because I’m driving her around everywhere , responsive to her texts, let her sleepover. I’ve been escalating on day 1 and usually they go away or ghost after failed escalation. But she willingly keeps coming back. It’s a cycle. At the moment I’ve stopped texting her and pursuing other candidates. But what’s your guys takeaway from this that I might not be seeing?

She wanted attention

I think she was serious when she was saying that she is not sexual attracted to you and stuff like that , and hopefully you will not get offended .

You're accepting this "friends" frame from her far too easily, and letting her string you along for attention.

Whenever a girl I'm attracted to tries to friend-zone me now, I simply say "men and women cannot be friends". Use the frame Hector presents in this video:


This is actually a great discussion topic during dates too, since the girl will realize right away what she is dealing with with you.

Drop this girl and remove the attention you are currently giving her. She might come back, and after a while, maybe you can try again. But with the right frame set.

BigPapa said:

She wanted attention

I think she was serious when she was saying that she is not sexual attracted to you and stuff like that , and hopefully you will not get offended .

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No offense taken mostly constructive criticism which I love and makes me better! Thanks for being real bro

Científico said:

You're accepting this "friends" frame from her far too easily, and letting her string you along for attention.

Whenever a girl I'm attracted to tries to friend-zone me now, I simply say "men and women cannot be friends". Use the frame Hector presents in this video:

This is actually a great discussion topic during dates too, since the girl will realize right away what she is dealing with with you.

Drop this girl and remove the attention you are currently giving her. She might come back, and after a while, maybe you can try again. But with the right frame set.

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Wow first of all hectors hair wow he got a haircut I’m so surprised!! thanks for this video broski! She texted me today, but I ignored it, so we will see how it goes. Going to play the bad boy frame here and see how it Goes. I would so fuck this chick because she is tiny and totally my type. But wow you can tell hectors got a certain mindset, like he’s got an angenda. Also the clean shaven look!??? I’m kinda speechless what happened to the long hair and slight facial hair...I read articles on this site gearing towards that!

If you want to send a hail marry and say to yourself that you did everything that was in power I would just send her a text along the lines when she gets in touch with you .

“ I believe that you have the wrong impression about me , as from my point of view a girl and a guy can not be only friends . thus being said i am and will be busy plunging into the dating market and see other girls and I will not have time to hang out with you just as friends . “ something along those lines.

if she really likes you , she will start chasing , if not is better that you stoped investing time in her as it would have not got you anywhere

Plus it will show her that you are not butt hurt about her and can stand up for yourself , and she can not taken advantage of you .

most likely she views this along the lines , I am making this guy a favor by hanging out with him as I am hot girl , and He should give me attention for this . He is also happy with this arrangement because I am hot girl and most likely he is not talking with other hot girls , cause otherwise he would not accept the just friends frame . So everyone wins in her mind

time to throw some dynamite in the dynamic and realty gauge her interest

BigPapa said:

If you want to send a hail marry and say to yourself that you did everything that was in power I would just send her a text along the lines when she gets in touch with you .

“ I believe that you have the wrong impression about me , as from my point of view a girl and a guy can not be only friends . thus being said i am and will be busy plunging into the dating market and see other girls and I will not have time to hang out with you just as friends . “ something along those lines.

if she really likes you , she will start chasing , if not is better that you stoped investing time in her as it would have not got you anywhere

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Honestly that’s not a bad idea at all. It communicates what you want and you’re not afraid of losing her and there’s nothing to lose out of it! Appreciate the advice man! So she texted me and I ignored it, she’s prob thinking why isn’t he responding he usually always does! Honestly I’m lll prob send her that text tomorrow your logic makes sense. I’ll update ya how it goes.

Send it after a couple of hours since she texted you too look more natural . If you reply the next day she will think that you thought about it really hard and are not super sure about it , so she will try to defend the current frame even harder

BigPapa said:

Send it after a couple of hours since she texted you too look more natural . If you reply the next day she will think that you thought about it really hard and are not super sure about it , so she will try to defend the current frame even harder

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Hahaha already sent my friend we will see! I’ll update ya when she replies

From experience , it may take up to a couple of weeks till she gets in touch , depending on how interested she is in you of course

basically this is her testing your frame . It is very important not to say shit till then , and then just start being aloof and gradually open up as the dynamic goes where you want it to go .

Oh wow she already read it and didn’t reply

BigPapa said:

From experience , it may take up to a couple of weeks till she gets in touch , depending on how interested she is in you of course

basically this is her testing your frame . It is very important not to say shit till then , and then just start being aloof and gradually open up as the dynamic goes where you want it to go .

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noted. Just saw she saw the text (read receipt) so it’s in motion. Also note it’s 5 am here

Hehe , with some luck it might end up in a booty call .

another thing , you know for sure that she is not really relationship material , as no normal Girl stays up till 5 am unless she is partying and basically being quite naughty , which is kinda a no no for proper relationships

if you pull it out frame your relationship to friends with benefits till you get to know her better. So basically minimal intimate stuff and a lot of wild energy , and most importantly keep hitting the dating market

BigPapa said:

Hehe , with some luck it might end up in a booty call .

another thing , you know for sure that she is not really relationship material , as no normal Girl stays up till 5 am unless she is partying and basically being quite naughty , which is kinda a no no for proper relationships

if you pull it out frame your relationship to friends with benefits till you get to know her better. So basically minimal intimate stuff and a lot of wild energy , and most importantly keep hitting the dating market

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Dude thanks for the reframe I mean it makes total sense. Otherwise it would be me inviting her coming over again and me trying again to Fuck her and failing. It’s just being super persistent which idk is even worth it like really 10 tries?

Also super random side note I’ve noticed with some great FR here. A lot of guys who claim to be super successful they have some sort of passion or interest that they pursue which furthers their interactions to the next stage. I can’t remember but there was this One FR where the guy talks about some art history or something because he truly passionate about it. And the girl gets hooked and they talk more about it. I feel like I have nothing really of that sense anymore other than info on pick up hahahah I’ve been so focused on. Just trying to fuck and pick up lately that my side interests have gone down.. wow insight I love it, what’s something your passionate and can talk about other than pick up and sex? Not saying you can’t use it in a pickup convo but otherwise ya know?

Also what makes you think she wants attention? This would be good insight because I don’t see it and for future prospects

Me personally I am a passionate guy in general , if I do not feel like doing something , I just do not do it and rather just chill .

On another note , I am an humanist , I enjoy talking with cool people , help them if I can , talk about traveling , art , humanity , karma , energy, business , stuff like that . But this is how I am as a person , and not something that I say or do because it helps me with the girls .

I think that you put too much of your energy towards girls , which deep down is kind of a needy behavior , even if you do not show it , and this makes things not look natural .

seduction from my point of view is like a dance and is more metaphysical , and for sure not a science or a technical thing like most guys see it .

this are my 2 cents

The girls self esteem is super volatile and easily changeable . Having guys around that want to date them helps them get that boost when they need it .
Us men are quite the same , just that our self esteem tends to be less volatile .

It feels good when 2-3 girls that are good looking want to have sex with you right , the attention is amazing and you feel like Tarzan in the jungle . Imagine the last time when you had sex with a girl that you were super into ,in the morning you felt like the sun is there only for you when shedding light on earth, and you felt it even warmer than normal too .

same things apply to girls , just that their self esteem is super volatile . The cute guy that she wanted him to approach her did not give a fuck , it is the end of the world for the next couple of hours and she will think that he is the most despicable human being in the world ( this is auto rejection ) , unless another cuter guy approaches her .

BigPapa said:

Me personally I am a passionate guy in general , if I do not feel like doing something , I just do not do it and rather just chill .

On another note , I am an humanist , I enjoy talking with cool people , help them if I can , talk about traveling , art , humanity , karma , energy, business , stuff like that . But this is how I am as a person , and not something that I say or do because it helps me with the girls .

I think that you put too much of your energy towards girls , which deep down is kind of a needy behavior , even if you do not show it , and this makes things not look natural .

seduction from my point of view is like a dance and is more metaphysical , and for sure not a science or a technical thing like most guys see it .

this are my 2 cents

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Love it, think I need to revisit my passions. Been working out and then playing a bit of video games on the weekdays after work. I play video games because I like socializing with my distant friends who are 2 hours Away otherwise I wouldn’t play on my own tho I just love socializing. But we all know video games aren’t really a natural chick influence thing. Some of my hot girl friends all have boyfriends and met them through rock climbing. They find it hot, which I thought was super interesting!

BigPapa said:

The girls self esteem is super volatile and easily changeable . Having guys around that want to date them helps them get that boost when they need it .
Us men are quite the same , just that our self esteem tends to be less volatile .

It feels good when 2-3 girls that are good looking want to have sex with you right , the attention is amazing and you feel like Tarzan in the jungle . Imagine the last time when you had sex with a girl that you were super into ,in the morning you felt like the sun is there only for you when shedding light on you , and you felt it even warmer than normal too .

same things apply to girls , just that their self esteem is super volatile . The cute guy that she wanted him to approach her did not give a fuck , it is the end of the world for the next couple of hours and she will think that he is the most despicable human being in the world ( this is auto rejection ) , unless another cuter guy approaches her .

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Wow that was poetry

Ye mate , but if you do nkt like rock climbing do not do it only for the sake of getting girls . It is a needy behavior

girls are over the street , some will like you , some will not so you do not need to come up with a super plan for meeting girls . You see, you go again super technical and think that if you take the screwdriver in your hand and start playing with it some magic will happen . It is not the case