Becoming sexier and more attractive is making things harder, not easier

DarkKnight · Aug 5, 2025

killerman said:
awesome that you pull bombshells, I did sleep with a bombshell instagram model a month or so back but it's one of the only times I've pulled it off. how do you pull it off, what's your style/grooming.fashion that you use to pull it off? Getting blonde massive tits bombshells is definitely something I want to get more of.

I’m probably a bit older than you and honestly, I couldn’t care less whether a girl calls herself an Instagram “model” or not. Might as well tell them I’m a StarCraft II general.

From what I’ve seen in the thread, your main challenge isn’t how you look. You already admitted that conversation and vibe are where you struggle. It’s tempting to double down on things you already mastered because it feels safer, but your fastest growth will come from fixing those weak points like banter, flirting, and leading interactions. You also need to understand the metagame better. Start with Teevster’s Attraction Paradox and Chase’s Paradox of the Flirty Girl. Add in “Ball in Your Court Text” and “For Resistant Girls, Use This.” Right now you’re coming across a bit rough, hoping that attraction alone bulldozes through everything. It doesn’t work that way.

anyway I'm going to bail.. this is a busy year. Best of luck to you and Im sure you will get your blondes with massive tits.

Skills · Aug 5, 2025

DarkKnight said:
@Skills you have a habit of throwing me into posts from time to time. I’m barely on the boards these days

I will get you a parachute... Re read what I said... Too look at some of your posts were i remember you were dealing with similar, do you have a problem with my sentence? Then buy midol

DarkKnight · Aug 5, 2025

Skills said:
I will get you a parachute... Re read what I said... Too look at some of your posts were i remember you were dealing with similar, do you have a problem with my sentence? Then buy midol

Sigh, last thing I am interested in is another flame war Skills. Anyway good day to you

Chase · Aug 6, 2025

@killerman,

killerman said:
Thing is I rarely can get past the boring questions and conversation. When I'm talking with the girl i often cant think of anything to say, struggle to be flirtatious and it's always too platonic and i just end up firing off boring questions. The initial approach is always a piece of cake but when I start conversations it just rarely has flow and it's hard not to have boring questions and boring conversations. Thing is ive been doing this for years and been on tons of dates but it's always a struggle being flirty and not having boring conversations. How do i fix this? Thing is the ratio of date to sex ratio is actually not that bad, somewhere between 33% and 50% successs rate but loads fall through in the process and so many numbers dont turn into dates at all.

I've been having more and more guys say this to me recently.

It's weird because back in the day guys would just do teases, cold reads, routines, etc., to stack through the initial conversation, but where a lot of guys really struggled was, "What do I say to her once I have her hooked?" or "I'm not sure what to say once I've got 'em." So I used to have to focus a lot on teaching deep diving, chase framing, etc.

Since I started working with coaching clients, I would say the majority of them are dealing with the "trouble getting girls to even hook" problem.

I guess "reaching the hook point" has always been a problem, and maybe it's just selection bias for me right now due to some of the new students I'm working with, but it feels like it's become a bigger problem now than it used to be?

Maybe I should think about a new article series or a course or something on early convo / hook point.

That said, I would definitely recommend reading or rereading everything in the "Hook Point" section of Girls Chase:

Hook Point | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

(I mean, I could probably make an entire course on hook points just by going through the articles there, ordering the strategies from them, then fleshing stuff out with more detail on video, maybe with some models so guys can see it exemplified.)

Chase

killerman · Aug 6, 2025

Thanks for feedback guys, from now on I will focus ruthlessly on improving my overall social skills, being more flirty/playful, being a better conversationalist, being more charismatic and charming as this is clearly something I need to work on. This will be my main focus. Am also going to spend the next 6 months improving my fashion as much as possible, I want to be the guy in the room with the best fashion/dress sense. Charisma + charm + improved playfulness/flirting/teasing + better fashion. Let's go.

killerman · Aug 7, 2025

Update on my current level of seduction. Texted a girl from the gym when she wanted to meet up. She ignored the question then asked me some random question related to gym. I responded by saying that I'm not into playing games and texting chatter nonsense and asked again when she's free. She said she's free tomorrow. Boom it worked. Looks like when a woman is dodging your question about meeting up best thing to do is tell her you dont want to play games/waste time talking and just go straight back to the point. This seems to work, like it did previously when I told that girl that walking up that street to meet her was a waste of time.

killerman · Aug 9, 2025

However I have to admit something I've never admitted before, I am on the autism spectrum, i have aspergers though it is VERY slight and only borderline. I am not REALLY autistic, just a little bit. My dad says I have aspergers and tested positive for it twice but he says I'm BARELY on the spectrum that he's not sure to really call it autism because it's so borderline but I AM on the spectrum. So yes it must be my social skills that are lacking and if I'm honest with myself it's probably the cause of 90% of my rejections.

However I'm willing to work on it 100%. Just read this article by Chase https://www.girlschase.com/article/dating-autistic-men-ultimate-guide in it he mentions the top 5 reasons why aspergers guys fail with women, and 2 of them are the flat effect and narrow interests. This definitely hits home but also they're 2 things I think I can definitely improve. Really cool to see he mentions there are 3 ways to improve if you have the flat effect and they are:

Acting classes
Voice/singing classes
Toastmasters

This is really cool and awesome advice on what to work on and where to improve on my sticking points.

Can anyone here recommend any youtube channels which deal in improving your vocal tonation and speaking with more emotion and vocal range? Think this would help massivey.

All in all throughout my life I have vastly got better at social interactions, I used to be terrible at them but with more exposure i learnt to mask the autism and I can get along with people much better now. One thing that has gone away is me falling out with people and getting angry with people over little tiny things they do that annoy me. That and I dont obsessively talk about my interests anymore, in fact I'm pretty good now at avoiding talking about myself at all costs, and just focus on talking as little as possible.

MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla · Aug 9, 2025

killerman said:
Right I've got to rant. Seems like the universe really is just trolling me at this point. I've reached a point where I've never had so much female attention and validation that it's getting a little ridiculous. I've now got to the point where i've been working out for 6.5 years and have an awesome ripped gym body. When i'm out in public im rocking a tight black tank top, a dog chain necklace and some cool chelsea boots. All black. Over the last month or so i've been told to my face at least 8 times by women that I'm attractive, sexy, look good, including also being asked twice whether I'm a model. Girls in the gym touching my pecs telling me i've got a great body, girls smiling constantly, whenever I'm out about women are looking at me ALL THE TIME, it literally feels like I'm a low key minor celebrity. Even girls walking with their boyfriends in public stare and smile at me as they're walking past WITH THE GUY, they literally dont care if he notices. Girls clearly like me. Guys absolutely hate me. It's easy getting phone numbers but I can't get ANY of them out on dates. It's literally a case now that I look the best I've ever looked, getting the most amount of compliments and attention i've ever had, some of it being literally outrageous, but none of it materialises to anything meaningful. It's like the hotter and more attractive I get the harder it is to get dates? It's literally making me question whether after a certain point being super attractive becomes a curse. But the question is what I'm doing wrong because I honestly dont know where I'm messing up. This honestly feels stupid and completely anti climatic and like the universe is just completely trolling me at this point. Like it's one big joke. Could someone please tell me what the actual hell is going on here. It's starting to really piss me off as I know I should be doing WAY better than this as guys 10 times worse looking and less attractive than me are getting hotter women than I am. despite them getting less female validation than I am. This is really starting to grind my gears.

Proof here for new readers that once again game is game.

One issue my better looking friends run into, *[The ones who put a lot of time at the gym] is that they don’t really have any spare time to go out and actually date.

topcat said:
tbh depending on where he's based he may be ahead of the curve..

Chelsea boots are on their way back. A few of the top fashion houses have started releasing them. For several seasons now..

While I don’t rock Chelsea boots are Blundstones popular yet in your neck of the woods? Everybody wears those here.

killerman said:
Ok thank you very much for the constructive feedback Chase. I did do some of that when I was talking to this girl at the gym. She goes in to work out with a coworker on a regular basis and I thought she might be his girlfriend so after starting the conversation I mentioned that the "boyfriend" seemed a cool guy to see if he was. Turns out he isnt. Then when she playfully said he was one of her many boyfriends I playfully teased her saying "how many? 5, 6?" Anyway do you think it could also be my whataspp profile pic because my whatsapp profile pic is a picture of my ripped body with blue lighting, very edited but it looks kind of insane. Do you think it could be that and that it makes me look narcissistic and potentially turning girls off? Should I change the pic to something else? Though I don't see how that would turn off a lot of gym girls as they do similar kind of things.

Because I get a ton of attention, compliments, positive reactions, validation and numbers but everything falls apart after that. It's either that or my game is a lot weaker than I thought.

Yeah but you see for women it’s a diss to ask them if they have 5 or 6 boyfriends it makes them look like an easy hoe who can’t get a guy to commit.

Should be aiming to talk to them about actual cool shit. Away from things about there looks, *[Unless you want to go down the route of Mystery Method Negging in 2025 then be my guest]

I have zero interest in gym chicks so im assuming here but you could always start the convo with diet discussion then pushing for the instant date from there saying that you know a place that does great after work out protein drinks.

But since everybody mentioned the Chelsea boots I’m also getting vibes that maybe your style is really lame and boring. I’ve recently been having amazing success because I have an American Eagle duffle bag that I’ve been using to carry around shit and I’ve used it as a starter as “Can you guess why this bag is so controversial?” So perhaps your gym attire is lacking.

Aloha
MuSt0

killerman · Aug 9, 2025

Also in the article https://www.girlschase.com/article/dating-autistic-men-ultimate-guide it says to have more female interests that women are into. Wouldn't music count as that? However I find that whenever I try to talk about my passion of music it never helps me and I cant connect with them, or that they're barely interested at all and I just can't get a good conversation relating to music. It's all "oh you're into music", I say "yeah, music is my passion", but I sense they dont really care. I even say that I can play guitar for them sometime but I just get vibes that they dont care at all. In fact I cant ever remember a girl being fascinated that I play guitar or music, except once. Also being autistic they say you shouldnt bore people with your interests, even if you're passionate about them, so how does being passionate about music help here if they dont care?

KJ Francis · Aug 9, 2025

MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla said:
*[Unless you want to go down the route of Mystery Method Negging in 2025 then be my guest]

Mystery 2019 Book of Negs

"Still today, negging remains the most misunderstood concept in pickup arts"

a neg is a statement or action to briefly disqualify yourself from being considered a potential suitor

The result of a neg is usually laughter. They are not insults, they simply convey that you are NOT hitting on them

Negging the target disarms the friends, preserves comfort in the target by demonstrating that you aren't hitting on her, and gets a laugh.

Used in A2, and only in A3 when she breaks compliance. In C1 for comedic effect only

It is meant to prevent telegraphing interest in her while you passively communicate value through her friends.

It is for group sets at night in settings where she may perceive her mate value/status as higher than yours.

killerman · 2025-08-16T08:29:31+0100

Skills said:
Alright, your fundamentals is not the problem per se, though your style the all black and Chelsea a bit outdated.... i will link post on the current style now a days... though in your case is not the issue per se...

When you are very attractive guys get lazy a bit in the game, they want the looks to carry them, though this can work, you still have to game, and you need to incorporate in the game a bit of humbleness.... You still need to game even if minimally the girl is not going to carry the seduction.... there are guys here that are high on the fundamentals @James D @TomInHo (ripped) @Kaida (ripped)..... I was also getting similar attention when vin diesel was in his prime (that is why they nickname me latin diesel) you still need to game.... other guys that have high fundies are @Spike (style) and @DarkKnight (who struggles with the subject) i would look into their stuff... but again from experience, guys think the body will carry them, by the way after certain fitness level i put style way higher than body game, but that is my experience...

Look at entry 25 from thomino and read the whole post:

Some different tweaks for seduction in new era...

I just look ridiculous with a mustache lol But some guys do look good with it I personally think it looks like pedos, but for whatever reason is in... @POB is what ijjjji was saying the more intimidating type of dudes, ned to be more fake shy, vulnerable, cute, play dumb...just way to disarm...

www.skilledseducer.com

Fashion - Some really on point fashion videos for the new era....

i usually ignore female advice but i really like this genz girl, cause she nitpicks and she really gets it, i think she is learned from boyfriend tbh, she is more into baggy though.... Going to add if you are interested in changing or upgrading style for the gen z girls if you are short...

www.skilledseducer.com

I've had another think about it though. My game is the same as it was years ago if not a little better but yet my results are worse. Yesterday was the 3rd time in a row that a girl flaked. I had dates lined up on 3 consecutive days and they all flaked. In fact 4 out of the last 5 girls I had dates set up with flaked . This is an insane rate of flakes. It was never this bad before but my game is at least as good as it was years ago so it cant be my game. The only variable that has changed is my looks have got better so it cant be my game. In fact I rarely had flakes when I started out and my game was terrible back then.

Skills · 2025-08-16T08:51:37+0100

killerman said:
I've had another think about it though. My game is the same as it was years ago if not a little better but yet my results are worse. Yesterday was the 3rd time in a row that a girl flaked. I had dates lined up on 3 consecutive days and they all flaked. In fact 4 out of the last 5 girls I had dates set up with flaked . This is an insane rate of flakes. It was never this bad before but my game is at least as good as it was years ago so it cant be my game. The only variable that has changed is my looks have got better so it cant be my game. In fact I rarely had flakes when I started out and my game was terrible back then.

your game should not always be the same, it should evolve and be adjusted, as some things will stop working or got a be tweaked at times...

but so many girls flaking something is off....

killerman · 2025-08-16T09:04:15+0100

Skills said:
your game should not always be the same, it should evolve and be adjusted, as some things will stop working or got a be tweaked at times...

but so many girls flaking something is off....

It's constant now. Like I said before, the compliments and validation I get is through the roof. I've now had 3 girls ask me in less than 2 months if I'm a male model. One girl opened me saying i had a nice face, said how she was excited to meet me. I set up decent logistics, day and time and she STILL decided to flake. Yesterday morning another girl messaged me if we were still on for that evening. She was clearly enthusiastic and excited and put heart emoticon on my comment. I messaged back over an hour later saying yes. This was around 10am Then she decides to flake 40 minutes before the date at 6pm saying she was "too tired". The other one changed her mind, proposed an alternative time, I said yeah it's ok and immediately afterwards said that she couldnt do it and prefered to do next week instead! Just flake after flake. This was nowhere near this bad when I was just starting out and my game was much weaker. but now it's literally every girl.

OldGuy · 2025-08-16T13:18:07+0100

They don't see you as attainable. Try for insta-dates.

killerman · 2025-08-16T13:24:49+0100

OldGuy said:
They don't see you as attainable. Try for insta-dates.

That's a really cool idea. I remember in 2015 I managed to pull/seduce this super hot east asian girl with fake tits just deciding to go straight on an insta date. Went well and we had great sex on the 2nd date, she was a squirter so sex was always super fun with her. But yes, think I should start doing it more as that's the only time I've ever tried an insta date and it worked. Will have to do it on my days off as im quite busy.

killerman · 2025-08-16T13:25:56+0100

Thing is the energy is always super good with these girls and I can tell they're always feeling me and excited to meet me. it's just...the flakes lol

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Becoming sexier and more attractive is making things harder, not easier

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man

Skills

Tribal Elder

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man

Chase

Chieftan

Hook Point | Girls Chase

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killerman

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MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla

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killerman

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KJ Francis

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Some different tweaks for seduction in new era...

Fashion - Some really on point fashion videos for the new era....

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Tribal Elder

killerman

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OldGuy

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killerman

Cro-Magnon Man

killerman

Cro-Magnon Man