TL;DR: I fell hard for a divorced regular at the restaurant—we shared dates, deep talks, tears, and sex—but she’s now pulled back to “just friends.” I’m weighing whether to send a firm boundary message and go no-contact.
TL;DR: I fell hard for a divorced regular at the restaurant—we shared dates, deep talks, tears, and sex—but she’s now pulled back to “just friends.” I’m weighing whether to send a firm boundary message and go no-contact.
So I work in a restaurant. I caught feelings for a girl that was regular guest there
At first she was nice, but I didnt thought we could be together. We only did ever small talk and such.
One day we talked for half hour after my shift, she was little drunk, it was funny to me but she was really nice to talk to. We connected with some stories and I thought she is really kind and sexy.
She is 39 years, has one kid and now divorced with her husband ( they stayed as friends last years of marriage, not love ) They were fighting all the time and she felt lonely at home.
After that three days later we hanged out in one bar. I told her that I want to get a job in IT and she told me that I have better potential than working at restaurant. I felt so warm like someone understands me and I kissed her. We kissed pasionately almost whole night. And she said after the night that she doesnt want to hurt me or something. I said dont worry.
Me and her felt like in love. Then next two weeks I was in my hometown. We were talking every day and I and her felt warm. After I came back to town I brought her souvenir that she keeps home. Then we went on date, we also kissed and talked and etc. She said it was her first date after 10 years cause she was married. She even bought dress just for me.
I was bit annoyed by her drinking because she made some jokes in front of waiter and I told her, but it was okay.
In three days we had sex over my house, and then also next week. She stayed whole night. That night she told me she feels so safe around me when we watched one movie she cried with me. I also put candles and romantic table, she said even husband never did that to her.
After sex I kissed her a lot and she cried, what I remember that she said "This is what I want to remember when I die". I felt also like crying when she told me that.
After that she also told me once,"Am I now your girl" and I was like didnt know what to say that It was too early. We never been in official relationship but it always felt like it.
After that she felt a lot worse. She divorced officialy with her husband, was fighting with him. She was almost suicidal, she did self harm to her hand. I was always there by her side. She even said me that her psychologist said I'm great man and that she is lucky to have that support from me.
Then after we didnt have intimacy, but we were talking and I suported her. Once she moved to her new apartment she called me over. She was sick and I wanted to care for her. She asked me once that night " I know why I need you, but why do you need me?".
I slept with her ( no sex) but we hugged and just hold each other.
Then she started to pull away and said that she doesnt have energy or strength to date. It was two months ago that she said that.
Then we talked over messages like I said, I wasnt pressuring her. I told her i missed her sometimes, but it wasnt now anymore romantic energy. We texted maybe once a week or once in 10 days.
Then we hangout last at 18 June in one bar. She still said she dont have energy and doesnt want to date any man now. I tried to kiss her at least in cheek, but she said we are friends now, do i remember. And said ok and I warmly said goodbye.
Then she said when she came home that it was wonderful free day for her and that I look handsome.
And few days after we last texted lightly.
So my plan is now to send her a boundary text like Hey, I’ve been thinking lately. I care about you, and what we had was real for me—but I can’t stay in this halfway space anymore.
I’m not in a place where I can be just friends; it wouldn’t be honest with myself. So I’m going to step back and focus on building the life I want.
Maybe one day we reconnect, if it’s meant to be.”
Should I send this and go only no contact after message or do something else
.
TL;DR: I fell hard for a divorced regular at the restaurant—we shared dates, deep talks, tears, and sex—but she’s now pulled back to “just friends.” I’m weighing whether to send a firm boundary message and go no-contact.
So I work in a restaurant. I caught feelings for a girl that was regular guest there
At first she was nice, but I didnt thought we could be together. We only did ever small talk and such.
One day we talked for half hour after my shift, she was little drunk, it was funny to me but she was really nice to talk to. We connected with some stories and I thought she is really kind and sexy.
She is 39 years, has one kid and now divorced with her husband ( they stayed as friends last years of marriage, not love ) They were fighting all the time and she felt lonely at home.
After that three days later we hanged out in one bar. I told her that I want to get a job in IT and she told me that I have better potential than working at restaurant. I felt so warm like someone understands me and I kissed her. We kissed pasionately almost whole night. And she said after the night that she doesnt want to hurt me or something. I said dont worry.
Me and her felt like in love. Then next two weeks I was in my hometown. We were talking every day and I and her felt warm. After I came back to town I brought her souvenir that she keeps home. Then we went on date, we also kissed and talked and etc. She said it was her first date after 10 years cause she was married. She even bought dress just for me.
I was bit annoyed by her drinking because she made some jokes in front of waiter and I told her, but it was okay.
In three days we had sex over my house, and then also next week. She stayed whole night. That night she told me she feels so safe around me when we watched one movie she cried with me. I also put candles and romantic table, she said even husband never did that to her.
After sex I kissed her a lot and she cried, what I remember that she said "This is what I want to remember when I die". I felt also like crying when she told me that.
After that she also told me once,"Am I now your girl" and I was like didnt know what to say that It was too early. We never been in official relationship but it always felt like it.
After that she felt a lot worse. She divorced officialy with her husband, was fighting with him. She was almost suicidal, she did self harm to her hand. I was always there by her side. She even said me that her psychologist said I'm great man and that she is lucky to have that support from me.
Then after we didnt have intimacy, but we were talking and I suported her. Once she moved to her new apartment she called me over. She was sick and I wanted to care for her. She asked me once that night " I know why I need you, but why do you need me?".
I slept with her ( no sex) but we hugged and just hold each other.
Then she started to pull away and said that she doesnt have energy or strength to date. It was two months ago that she said that.
Then we talked over messages like I said, I wasnt pressuring her. I told her i missed her sometimes, but it wasnt now anymore romantic energy. We texted maybe once a week or once in 10 days.
Then we hangout last at 18 June in one bar. She still said she dont have energy and doesnt want to date any man now. I tried to kiss her at least in cheek, but she said we are friends now, do i remember. And said ok and I warmly said goodbye.
Then she said when she came home that it was wonderful free day for her and that I look handsome.
And few days after we last texted lightly.
So my plan is now to send her a boundary text like Hey, I’ve been thinking lately. I care about you, and what we had was real for me—but I can’t stay in this halfway space anymore.
I’m not in a place where I can be just friends; it wouldn’t be honest with myself. So I’m going to step back and focus on building the life I want.
Maybe one day we reconnect, if it’s meant to be.”
Should I send this and go only no contact after message or do something else
.
