- Joined
- Nov 7, 2019
- Messages
- 596
TLDR: Hazel eyes, short & English Brunette girl from Tinder who was into me. Ran my standard dating process and took her home first date
On dates I build these frames: 1) Comfort, 2) Secret Society, 3) Lover of Sex (and good at it), 4) Non-Judgmental, 5) Fun,
Once all those frames/feelings are hit depending on logistics I either go for the lay if she's super green light or propose date 2 while on date 1.
90% of my first dates are at a bar or park that's 5-10 minutes walk from my place.
To clarify I don't want to come across arrogant with these tips, LR's/guides. I'm just hitting numbers (16 lays/21 dates this year) that are blowing my mind and trust me if I can do it anyone can.
Long version
So this is going to be my last LR in a while as I've re-built my rotation of x3 girls from 0 at the start of the year.
Rotation and girls from the past sporadically seeing me in London should keep me good until the end of the year before I go crazy in Jan again.
As this lay was literally me in auto-pilot I'm going to make this more of an overview of my process and bring everything together.
She bites asks me where I live in case it's any better lol and a general chit chat conversation ensues. 3/4 messages in I get her number and send a voice note.
The Date
1) Building Comfort
Used "call back" technique to say how her Father's day was because we originally re-scheduled because she forgot she was going to see family. Give her a hug and also let my hand linger on her back for a tad second longer than necessary with a warm friendly smile.
Walk to the bar and talk about how I've been drinking a lot and need to reign it in. Laugh about how that's just life and trying to avoid drinking never lasts. Basically just chit chat, nothing heavy to help a girl ease in to the date. Also tease her for wanting the drink that the barman says is the 2nd strongest and tease her for being "an alcoholic" which is another call back as she promised she wasn't in one of her texts.
First few minutes I learn where she's from, how long she's been in London, how her friends describe her, how her last guy would describe her etc etc.
2) Secret Society Frame,
I basically show that I "get it" by using a couple stacks which always start with: "Who do you think has it easier in dating? Men or Women?"
A) I then say people think it's women but it's actually men. As Women get more upfront attention but most guys are creeps. Then when they start
seeing a guy most men are 2 extremes. Either boring nice guy who'll triple text her, last 30 seconds in bed and would never choke her or extreme fuckboy
who's fun and exciting but it's 50/50 if he'll even text you back.
Blah blah blah, laugh laugh that's so true... Where are you?
Then depending on my mood I'll say "In the middle" or "depends who you ask" which a sly grin.
B) Another stack is talking about resting bitch face and how when I was hit on by a guy on the way to France I had to use it despite normally being a big smiler.
^^^ Both these have served me really well.
3) Lover of Sex (and good at it) vibes
The above secret society lends itself very nicely to talking about sex too. I'll often call back and say "scrap what I said about men having it easier, Women have the trump card because they can orgasm multiple times in a row. As a man I will never have the leg shaking, eyes roll back, spasm full body orgasms that you do..."
Usually get a response of "true" or "but it's hard to find" and depending on the readiness of the girl opens up a whole conversation of sex. Again depending on my mood I also throw in how I've faked orgasms before (true story) because I knew it would take me too long to come despite the girl trying her best.
This set a nice chase frame on this particular date as she was like "if we ever get to that stage I'll be asking you... Did you actually cum that time???"
4) Non-Judgmental
This should just ease off you through the easy-going nature you have but in case this doesn't come natural a stack I use:
A) Ask a girl to talk about 1 things she loves, 1 thing she hates and 1 thing that excites her (good way of giving her a variety/spike of emotions and get her out of auto-pilot as well as begin qualifying herself to you)
Then answer when she asks you but for "hate" say judgmental people especially men because if they just chilled out they'd probably get more sex and be happier
B) Whenever she talks about a "friend" who's done something rogue sexually. Completely dismiss it/make it no big deal and say she's in her right to do that I.E ONS in a public place with a random stranger. You should then actively encourage and say to be honest that would turn me on if I knew she was like that.
I used this with my date where she mentioned being BI and I said that's a turn on despite me knowing guys who it would scare them off. Then dropped a line about in 3rd person about if I'm dating a bi girl she can bring friends there's enough me to go around.
5) Fun,
Similar to non-judgmental this should be an underlying "vibe" that you portray. The way you do this is transfer the emotion of "excitement". You talk in an upbeat way, your animated with your expressions, there's variety of tones and volume when you speak with relevant emphasis on different parts of your story.
You're empathetic and almost consoling when she shares something personal or dark but you can bring the mood up just as easily with a newly formed inside joke to snap her back into fun. It's probably the hardest thing to teach and there's no real hacks aside from live a life you love then let that infectious energy shine through.
With that said some things that help me get into fun mood before dates:
1) Listen to music or funny podcasts
2) Phone call with a good friend
3) Share interesting or funny stories of your own or that people have told you (I talk about other girls funny dating scenarios all the time)
Logistics / Seeding Pull
1. DWW - I have to say this has been really fun, I enjoyed this
2. Girl - Yeah me too
3. DWW *if girl is enthusiastic in her response* - let's do it again sometime, as long as you continue to act normal I'll make you those cocktails
4. Girl - Sounds great!
5. DWW - Nice, when you next free?
From there we'll iron out a date and time. Ever since a girl did this to me 4 years ago I made it my standard play. If a girl's into you she won't care about scheduling so soon and it also makes follow up texting so much easier too.
In this instance we agreed to have a date the next week, carried on talking on the date before I spontaneously said "what about those drinks now?"
She agreed and I ordered us an uber home.
Sex
She was fun and definitely compatible with me. Physically affectionate, warm and reasonably vocal but not mind-blowing. Good rotation territory and suspect it may get better with time.
Final notes
Quite confident she'll stick around assuming no black swan events lol but we'll see.
She'll be my 4th girl in lock-in if she does come round so either way in a good place.
Onwards and Upwards x
On dates I build these frames: 1) Comfort, 2) Secret Society, 3) Lover of Sex (and good at it), 4) Non-Judgmental, 5) Fun,
Once all those frames/feelings are hit depending on logistics I either go for the lay if she's super green light or propose date 2 while on date 1.
90% of my first dates are at a bar or park that's 5-10 minutes walk from my place.
To clarify I don't want to come across arrogant with these tips, LR's/guides. I'm just hitting numbers (16 lays/21 dates this year) that are blowing my mind and trust me if I can do it anyone can.
Long version
So this is going to be my last LR in a while as I've re-built my rotation of x3 girls from 0 at the start of the year.
Rotation and girls from the past sporadically seeing me in London should keep me good until the end of the year before I go crazy in Jan again.
As this lay was literally me in auto-pilot I'm going to make this more of an overview of my process and bring everything together.
Her bio said "Be mean to me... I like the drama. Looking at her pictures she's a cute plane Jane with a tiger tattoo on her thigh which suggests an inhibited wild side to her too confirmed by how sexual her drunk pictures were
Do you like the drama to overcompensate for your boring life in xyz? (This works as it's low effort, emotionally stimulating and personalized)
She bites asks me where I live in case it's any better lol and a general chit chat conversation ensues. 3/4 messages in I get her number and send a voice note.
The Date
Black T-shirt, Black Ripped Jeans, White socks and white trainers. Fresh/citrus cologne on and a festival looking band on my right wrist from the hostel I visited in Greece back in January.
A bar 10 minutes walk from where I live. I chose it because it's right next to the train station which she uses to come visit me from a nearby neighborhood
Thankfully looked like her pictures lol (always the risk with online). Brunette straight hair, nice straight teeth, hazel eyes, black jeans, high heeled boots and a simple black summer top and natural well kept nails.
1) Building Comfort
Used "call back" technique to say how her Father's day was because we originally re-scheduled because she forgot she was going to see family. Give her a hug and also let my hand linger on her back for a tad second longer than necessary with a warm friendly smile.
Walk to the bar and talk about how I've been drinking a lot and need to reign it in. Laugh about how that's just life and trying to avoid drinking never lasts. Basically just chit chat, nothing heavy to help a girl ease in to the date. Also tease her for wanting the drink that the barman says is the 2nd strongest and tease her for being "an alcoholic" which is another call back as she promised she wasn't in one of her texts.
First few minutes I learn where she's from, how long she's been in London, how her friends describe her, how her last guy would describe her etc etc.
2) Secret Society Frame,
I basically show that I "get it" by using a couple stacks which always start with: "Who do you think has it easier in dating? Men or Women?"
A) I then say people think it's women but it's actually men. As Women get more upfront attention but most guys are creeps. Then when they start
seeing a guy most men are 2 extremes. Either boring nice guy who'll triple text her, last 30 seconds in bed and would never choke her or extreme fuckboy
who's fun and exciting but it's 50/50 if he'll even text you back.
Blah blah blah, laugh laugh that's so true... Where are you?
Then depending on my mood I'll say "In the middle" or "depends who you ask" which a sly grin.
B) Another stack is talking about resting bitch face and how when I was hit on by a guy on the way to France I had to use it despite normally being a big smiler.
^^^ Both these have served me really well.
3) Lover of Sex (and good at it) vibes
The above secret society lends itself very nicely to talking about sex too. I'll often call back and say "scrap what I said about men having it easier, Women have the trump card because they can orgasm multiple times in a row. As a man I will never have the leg shaking, eyes roll back, spasm full body orgasms that you do..."
Usually get a response of "true" or "but it's hard to find" and depending on the readiness of the girl opens up a whole conversation of sex. Again depending on my mood I also throw in how I've faked orgasms before (true story) because I knew it would take me too long to come despite the girl trying her best.
This set a nice chase frame on this particular date as she was like "if we ever get to that stage I'll be asking you... Did you actually cum that time???"
4) Non-Judgmental
This should just ease off you through the easy-going nature you have but in case this doesn't come natural a stack I use:
A) Ask a girl to talk about 1 things she loves, 1 thing she hates and 1 thing that excites her (good way of giving her a variety/spike of emotions and get her out of auto-pilot as well as begin qualifying herself to you)
Then answer when she asks you but for "hate" say judgmental people especially men because if they just chilled out they'd probably get more sex and be happier
B) Whenever she talks about a "friend" who's done something rogue sexually. Completely dismiss it/make it no big deal and say she's in her right to do that I.E ONS in a public place with a random stranger. You should then actively encourage and say to be honest that would turn me on if I knew she was like that.
I used this with my date where she mentioned being BI and I said that's a turn on despite me knowing guys who it would scare them off. Then dropped a line about in 3rd person about if I'm dating a bi girl she can bring friends there's enough me to go around.
5) Fun,
Similar to non-judgmental this should be an underlying "vibe" that you portray. The way you do this is transfer the emotion of "excitement". You talk in an upbeat way, your animated with your expressions, there's variety of tones and volume when you speak with relevant emphasis on different parts of your story.
You're empathetic and almost consoling when she shares something personal or dark but you can bring the mood up just as easily with a newly formed inside joke to snap her back into fun. It's probably the hardest thing to teach and there's no real hacks aside from live a life you love then let that infectious energy shine through.
With that said some things that help me get into fun mood before dates:
1) Listen to music or funny podcasts
2) Phone call with a good friend
3) Share interesting or funny stories of your own or that people have told you (I talk about other girls funny dating scenarios all the time)
Logistics / Seeding Pull
1. DWW - I have to say this has been really fun, I enjoyed this
2. Girl - Yeah me too
3. DWW *if girl is enthusiastic in her response* - let's do it again sometime, as long as you continue to act normal I'll make you those cocktails
4. Girl - Sounds great!
5. DWW - Nice, when you next free?
From there we'll iron out a date and time. Ever since a girl did this to me 4 years ago I made it my standard play. If a girl's into you she won't care about scheduling so soon and it also makes follow up texting so much easier too.
In this instance we agreed to have a date the next week, carried on talking on the date before I spontaneously said "what about those drinks now?"
She agreed and I ordered us an uber home.
Sex
She was fun and definitely compatible with me. Physically affectionate, warm and reasonably vocal but not mind-blowing. Good rotation territory and suspect it may get better with time.
Final notes
Quite confident she'll stick around assuming no black swan events lol but we'll see.
She'll be my 4th girl in lock-in if she does come round so either way in a good place.
Onwards and Upwards x
