FU 1st Date - Going the Strippers - Bad Idea

[Lucifer]

So 2 months ago I was at a music show and was checking out a cute chick in the crowd and she was kinda checking me out too. So, while the music is playing I'm trying to think of a smooth way to approach her after the noise ends, but during the song she unexpectedly bumps into me and steps on my shoes by accident (???). Whether she did it on purpose to break the ice or if it was a genuine accident, didn't matter because it gave me the perfect open. She's apologizing and stuff and I told her "I like your hair!" (She had a mohawk, a punk chick). From there we started talking and I got her FB info (Insisted on doing FB not phone #. 1st bad sign.).

So we chatted on FB for a bit (30-40 messages) and I tried to get her out several times but she's always "busy", or if she does agree to hang out, she wants it to be with her (chick) friends (2nd bad sign). She's only 18 and I've noticed this seems common (at least in my experience) that they try to bring their friends when you propose a meet. The other times she agreed to meet was when she asked if I wanna come to the strippers+club (same venue) where she's going.

I declined those bullshit offers to go clubbing or to meet her & her friends and things went cold for a while. I stopped caring. But then out of the blue last week she messages me asking (again) if I wanna come to the strippers with her. I was ready to decline again, and I re-read Chase's article on club dates and how you should steer clear of them, but things have been dry for me lately, I hadn't had any dates with any new girls in a couple months and since I

A) Haven't gone to strippers/a club in a long time
B) Felt like I should get some useful experience and reference points talking to girls in clubs/strippers
C) Really didn't care much about this chick either way at this point
D) Just wanted to practice pick-up in general (conversation, compliance, eye contact, everything....)
E) The fact that she asked me out after I cut her off for 2 months was kind of "chasing" bahavior, so I said might as well try...

So I said yes. I decided that I have NO expectations with this chick whatsoever. This is just pure practice.

I got there. She didn't show up for another 20 minutes so I killed time by trying to seduce 2 incredibly hot strippers/waitresses as they came around to where I was sitting. Talked to each of them for 5+ minutes but couldn't get a number, haha.



So my date shows up, with a chick friend. All night things were going swimmingly. I was touching her, eye flirting was strong, conversation was fun & sexual, and I was getting mad compliance from her. Almost anything I asked it seemed like she would do at this point.

So as the night was winding down I started casually suggesting and persisting that the 2 of them come somewhere more fun with me. I didn't ask them to come back to my place directly (I just kept saying "we should go to this place I know with cheap drinks and great music!" [I stole that line from somewhere, forget where, probably a Chase article? It's a brilliant line nonetheless]). She kept prying and I eventually told her it's my place. She was at first very hesitant, but I kept persisting in a relaxed, casual way. Explaining the benefits of us going vs. us staying, showing how it would be better for us to just leave (this was great practice for me at persisting!).

The crazy thing was that while I was still calmly persisting, she actually said to me (with a horny look) something like: "it's kinda hot that you're really trying to convince me like that." Actually said it, lol. I got a kick out of that! (Chase mentions in one of his articles that girls really like a man who is persisting like this). But to have a girl literally say that makes the concept really solidify in my head.


While we were sitting and talking, she would occassionally walk around the place, where (of course) other guys would try to hit on her. I did a pretty good job telling her to come back and sit with me just by beckoning her with my finger and she came back every time. (Me trying to be all Law of Least Effort and stillness).

But this one guy, I was watching him. He knew what he was doing. Opens her with some (rather clever) tactic like he's just having a fun time and pretending to take selfies with random people for fun. So he goes to my girl, all high-energy, and starts taking selfies with her. Gets her to sit with him. They start talking. I motion (finger beckoning) to her again to come back and sit with me, where I further persisted that she comes with me right now (in order to get rid of the guy). But she's now hesistating, she says "umm, yeah maybe, but I'm just gonna talk to that guy for like 5 minutes." I got pissed, but stayed calm. I told her I'm leaving, then went for a piss before I leave the place. But after my piss, curiosity got the better of me. I went back into the place (she didn't notice I came back in) and just watched the 2 of them talking.

Well... 2 minutes later this guy is kissing my girl!!! Arrrrrghhh!! (Realized later that I should have gone for a kiss too, I could have, all the signals were there but I was too busy trying to pull her home). So I got up, gave her a disappointed look (she looked like she'd just seen a ghost [thinking I'd already left]), and I left kind of angrily. She chased after me as I'm leaving the place, asking me for a hug and complaining that "you're acting like my boyfriend or something" (for getting upset at her making out w/ random dude). I left, pretty pissed....


Emotionally I was a little hurt seeing my attempts blow up in my face like that. Even though I went in "just for practice, no emotional attachment", I was still a little hurt.


But 2 days later now I'm totally over it and I'm kinda happy I went and had this experience. I knew learning this stuff will have some rocky bumps along the road and I am not bitter. It was a learning experience and solidified a lot of different concepts for me.

 

[Explosive Results]

It's never easy in the beginning, but don't give up!

Emotionally I was a little hurt seeing my attempts blow up in my face like that. Even though I went in "just for practice, no emotional attachment", I was still a little hurt. [...] But 2 days later now I'm totally over it and I'm kinda happy I went and had this experience.

This pain you feel will make you stronger for next time.

So I got up, gave her a disappointed look

Much better to appear indifferent. If she was testing you, a negative reaction would fail the test.

But this one guy, I was watching him. He knew what he was doing.

Did you learn anything from him?

 

[Lucifer]

Did you learn anything from him?

Thanks man. Yeah, I learned, rather, was reminded (since articles here say it) that you can kiss a girl very early into an interaction and have it go well if the situation is right. It's something I'll be more aware of in the future. Hell, I've even done it before at parties, but it completely slipped my mind cuz I was focused on other things.

Also, that selfie opening tactic he did is pretty clever. I decided as soon as I saw him doing it that I'm gonna have to try that out sometime at a club-type high-energy setting. Another weapon in my arsenal, haha.

 

[Explosive Results]

Also, that selfie opening tactic he did is pretty clever. I decided as soon as I saw him doing it that I'm gonna have to try that out sometime at a club-type high-energy setting. Another weapon in my arsenal, haha.

It is very effective! Here are some tips to get the most out of it.
1) If your phone has a flash, take a couple photos with the flash on (but do some without the flash as well to get a good range) - the flash diverts attention your way and other girls will see.
2) Encourage the girl to cuddle up to you or kiss you on the cheek. Make it look as though she's make a move on you.
3) Share the photos via Social Media. Now you can beam pre-selection straight to all the girls you've been meeting lately (assuming you're also connecting with them on Social Media).

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Getting a little irked is good, you can't be TOTALLY okay with it, but you should also laugh at it.

Once I was gaming a chick at the club I was working at. We were sexting soon after in the club, but I obviously couldn't close, cuz work. We also made out. She texted me "I got my eyes on you tonight," while playing some guys at a VIP table for free drinks. I responded "ditto "

Then she must have seen me flirting with other chicks and said "how many other chicks you looking at the way you look at me?" Player accusation. At the advice of one of my chick coworkers, I ignored it.

But then, I don't and text her "Come find me upstairs silly goose"

Then, not an hour later, I was working and walked past her...making out with some dude. What did I do? Took out my flashlight and shone it one them, and started making kissy faces and cheering them on. He was confused but kinda laughed, thinking I was cheering him on.

THen she turned around, got surprised to see me, and then lurched towards me but I pushed her off. I texted her something like "Haha and then you're making out with another dude! Have a good night, playa playa."

She tried to get my attention a few more times throughout the night (while always talking to a new guy), then even texted me that she was looking for me. We eventually met up and fucked.

What you should have done here is make it obvious that you saw her then winked and smiled and walked away in auto-rejection. You got a bit too jealous, but she did chase after you; you should have used that opportunity to tell her that you may not be her boyfriend, but you expect her to be respectful - she's out with you. Chastise her.

(though ,the reason she was picked up by the guy is because he could tell she was hot for an exit; you just weren't pulling hard enough. Usually it's becuase your tone/body lang isnt right; your words were lacking, tho. The reason she kept pushing for specificity is cuz she's a punk girl - they like bad boy assholes who just tell them "let's go fuck." With these chicks you be super direct - they don't dress like that to attract nice guys).

OR, you could have went and picked up some other chick. If she sees, she might think "oh, okay, he's a pimp" or maybe she'll already be sucking the other dude's dick. Either way, you've moved on.

Your choice. It's fine to feel disrespected, and natural to do so; but there is a fine line between feeling disrespected and butthurt.

Hector

 

[Lucifer]

Thanks your advice and analysis, Hector! I definitely gotta work on my closing and staying cool in these kind of situations.

I was just not prepared for seeing her kiss another dude, like it completely took me off my game and i had no plan or response for it.

Then she must have seen me flirting with other chicks and said "how many other chicks you looking at the way you look at me?" Player accusation. At the advice of one of my chick coworkers, I ignored it.

This is good to know.

What you should have done here is make it obvious that you saw her then winked and smiled and walked away in auto-rejection. You got a bit too jealous, but she did chase after you; you should have used that opportunity to tell her that you may not be her boyfriend, but you expect her to be respectful - she's out with you. Chastise her.

This is what i needed. Thank you.

See, I felt totally crippled as to what to do here. If I speak out too much, then it sounds like I'm whining/complaining/upset/out of control - a big no no. But if I don't say anything then I don't assert myself or communicate clearly. I had no clue what to do here, so this really helps.

(though ,the reason she was picked up by the guy is because he could tell she was hot for an exit; you just weren't pulling hard enough. Usually it's becuase your tone/body lang isnt right; your words were lacking, tho. The reason she kept pushing for specificity is cuz she's a punk girl - they like bad boy assholes who just tell them "let's go fuck." With these chicks you be super direct - they don't dress like that to attract nice guys).

Very true. I'm a metalhead & do very well with metal chicks and I've found this to true with them too. Super direct can sometimes work wonders.

OR, you could have went and picked up some other chick.

At that point i was a little too rattled & thrown off my game to even try for another chick. Hopefully with this & more experiences I'll grow a thicker skin & be able to shake something like this off easier and turn the tables on her.