No, I'm not even close in terms of picking up girls as most of the guys here but, in the last 20 years i've learned a thing or two about romance, seduction and getting girls. Some of those skills i used them long before getting to this site, some others would be very efective had I used them back in the day. I always was very shy, insecure around women and though they tell me my looks are a bit obove average [i'm maybe a 7 or so] confidence was never my strong point. So lets go:
1- Eye contact. Learned that eyes are powerful. In my case, my look is considered intense so making use of it usualy benefits me. Some women got to tell me they could "die" in my eyes. I'm sure with training every man may get this right. I use several types of looks. women like it. But make it intense. If you are down in the relationship though, women can see an intense look as menacing. Happaned to me.
2- Atraction does have an expiration date. I failed to close several girls and then, they lost interest/went into auto-rejection/found other guys. So when Chase sais "go for it" i think he's right. Looking back i nailed a few girls just by taking the risk and only 2 or 3 didn't let me kiss them when I tried. The losses were worth the gains.
3- Girl signals: Sometimes are really hard to get, and sometimes are so easy you can't believe it. Looking back once again I still beat me up for not having advanced on a few girs that gave me those signals: Holding my hand, staring at me, invinting me out, invinting me to stay at their home... Actualy writing this down brings so many memories and so many missed oportunities it sucks. :-D. The thing I learned, is this: They are usualy very sutil. A litle look here, a litle provoquing there, a touch, an inocent invitation...Oh boy I was so stuuuuuuuupid! In the last years I was better, but even as close as last year, there was this blond, blue eyes bombshell coming to my ofice, staring at me, smiling, and saying things like "i'm perfect" and "those girs [in a model album] are ugly/fat/look at that nose/slut..." and I didn't do anything! Supid.
4- Being strong is very important. Not asking for their permition. Doing things on your own. Having your projects. They respect that it ads mistery to you. I learned this with my father: He always took decisions without consulting my mom. Some of them quite wrong in fact. I thought "my mom doesn't deserve this he's wrong!". But in terms of relationship it's actualy good. She protests, screams, etc. He stays calm, and she would never leave. He's got her because he's the man. My wife is also a bit bossy, and now and then it get into my nerves: Then I just show her who screams louder, who can walk away, who doens't care to lose everything. She calms down and starts geting docile. I actualy don't like doing this but it's necessary. It goes against everything society defends these days, from publicity to cinema, or politics. But it works. So be strong. Oh and one more thing, when fighting use little words, don't try to much to racionalize. You'll lose. Just state your position. "Look, I will do this my way. Don't agree to bad" or my personal favourit "i'm informing you, not negotiating".
5- Chasing. Oh boy I did this so wrong for such a long period! The girls i liked the most I used to make this silly mistake: Going there, tell them "I felt in love with you". And then as they came with the inevitable "i like you as a friend" i chase them like a puppy until they were rude to me. After some time, my pride would kick in. I would give up right there, close myself and went another path. Then things would turn around. Why? I'll explain better in the next point. For now the thing I want to state is : Chasing in the romantic/politicaly correct/Hollywood style does not work as good as being a man.
6- Humour. I now you are going to crucify me on this but I think humour works. Not in the clown sense of course, but with me, behing witty and inteligent brought me girls. How? In some ways. First of all because when i'm fun, i'm inteligent fun, and that boosts my confidence. I lose my fragilities and start dominating situations. And this will take me to the previous point. Those girls i chased and got humiliated got back: I started being confident, funny, and not needy. My humour is a sarcastic/tough/no mercy humour. So they couldn't handle me in a challenge " oh you take baths too?" once one provoques me. "yes, one of us has to do it". Pam, she was on the floor. And she loved it. In my classes girls incline to me as I make some of the more hard remarks about work, society and other stuff. As they burst into laughter I keep just a confident smile "i got you in the palm of my hand" it seems to say. I dare to say, it's not the joke per se, it's the chalenge to their brains.
7- Women are ilogical. One of the things i learned here [unfortunately a bit late for me ] is that girls just don't need to make sense. They say they want to be rational but aren't. Their words mean little and when you confront them with their own contradictions they will be passive/agressive because "i'm complicated". Just tell me, how many times you heard this from a girl? Millions, right? So did I. Don't give it importance anymore, i tend just to make them take decisions. They are so insecure that even after a date were they puted you in the friend zone, they will think about it over and over, and if you stay cool and don't chase they can change of opinion.
8- Sometimes women are plain stupid. I had this happening to me at least 4 or 5 times: I spend time as a friend with some girls even flirting a bit but with no evolution. Then, years later, [in my case 5, 8, 10, and 20] they tell me "it was always you. Always dreamed about you. Do you remember that day when you visited me back in 2002? Good I wanted so much you to steal me away." One could say "well you don't know the reasons, maybe she just feels alone and trying to get your atention/testing you to be a satelite". I've had cases like that to. I can smell them. And i'm kind of cruel with those. This other girls were so precise, so intense, so ashamed, it was love. And would come back with one objective: to marry me. They told me so. My advice: If you sense a girl is in to you, probabily she is and sometimes she hides a deep love without you knowing. Keep the dialog open and be cool with every girl you didn't get. You might have surprises.
9- Sex is better with time to spare. I tend to get nervous when first time sex has to be quick, in a strange unconfortable place. I don't perform well. I need to know i'll be stayng with that girl for a couple of hours to catch up if something goes wrong. I lost a coulple of lays because of the insecurity of not deliver a good performance. Don't quite know how to solve this one.
10- Silence! Genious at work! I saved this one for last because it's so powerfull. I learned this with an old girfriend. One of those I chased wrongly in the first place. Once I got her alone and told her, "look, I still like you why don't you give me a chance?". What she did made me suffer like never before: She stood there, in silence, for 10 hole minutes until other people arrive. Her expression was not arrogant. It was like reflecting and hiding something she could never tell. She putted her eyes down sometimes looking elsewhere and compressing her lips from time to time. She was inacessible, but right beside me. As the wind moved her hair i knew I never loved anyone like that. Some time later we dated and i dumped her.
But the technique i never forgot. Don't recomend doing this to a girl you don't want to see after sex/afair. You have to wait until she's a bit into you and start making some dificult questions. You have to get some cumplicity otherwise it may seem artificial. I made it for 7 or 8 times now: Girl makes a remark/question and I stay in absolut silence, lookig nowhere/eyes down sometimes looking at her, smiling and saying a contraditory "hello!" and then going back to silence up to the point i end that moment by saying "look lets go out have fun". I smile and she knows i'm not going to open up. I can garantee you when I did it i could just hear teh girl fall in love with me. They all did.
11- when I look back, there's a worring fact about this 20 years. I dumped all my girlfriends. Egocentric SOB.
Sorry for the long post hope it useful for someone.
1- Eye contact. Learned that eyes are powerful. In my case, my look is considered intense so making use of it usualy benefits me. Some women got to tell me they could "die" in my eyes. I'm sure with training every man may get this right. I use several types of looks. women like it. But make it intense. If you are down in the relationship though, women can see an intense look as menacing. Happaned to me.
2- Atraction does have an expiration date. I failed to close several girls and then, they lost interest/went into auto-rejection/found other guys. So when Chase sais "go for it" i think he's right. Looking back i nailed a few girls just by taking the risk and only 2 or 3 didn't let me kiss them when I tried. The losses were worth the gains.
3- Girl signals: Sometimes are really hard to get, and sometimes are so easy you can't believe it. Looking back once again I still beat me up for not having advanced on a few girs that gave me those signals: Holding my hand, staring at me, invinting me out, invinting me to stay at their home... Actualy writing this down brings so many memories and so many missed oportunities it sucks. :-D. The thing I learned, is this: They are usualy very sutil. A litle look here, a litle provoquing there, a touch, an inocent invitation...Oh boy I was so stuuuuuuuupid! In the last years I was better, but even as close as last year, there was this blond, blue eyes bombshell coming to my ofice, staring at me, smiling, and saying things like "i'm perfect" and "those girs [in a model album] are ugly/fat/look at that nose/slut..." and I didn't do anything! Supid.
4- Being strong is very important. Not asking for their permition. Doing things on your own. Having your projects. They respect that it ads mistery to you. I learned this with my father: He always took decisions without consulting my mom. Some of them quite wrong in fact. I thought "my mom doesn't deserve this he's wrong!". But in terms of relationship it's actualy good. She protests, screams, etc. He stays calm, and she would never leave. He's got her because he's the man. My wife is also a bit bossy, and now and then it get into my nerves: Then I just show her who screams louder, who can walk away, who doens't care to lose everything. She calms down and starts geting docile. I actualy don't like doing this but it's necessary. It goes against everything society defends these days, from publicity to cinema, or politics. But it works. So be strong. Oh and one more thing, when fighting use little words, don't try to much to racionalize. You'll lose. Just state your position. "Look, I will do this my way. Don't agree to bad" or my personal favourit "i'm informing you, not negotiating".
5- Chasing. Oh boy I did this so wrong for such a long period! The girls i liked the most I used to make this silly mistake: Going there, tell them "I felt in love with you". And then as they came with the inevitable "i like you as a friend" i chase them like a puppy until they were rude to me. After some time, my pride would kick in. I would give up right there, close myself and went another path. Then things would turn around. Why? I'll explain better in the next point. For now the thing I want to state is : Chasing in the romantic/politicaly correct/Hollywood style does not work as good as being a man.
6- Humour. I now you are going to crucify me on this but I think humour works. Not in the clown sense of course, but with me, behing witty and inteligent brought me girls. How? In some ways. First of all because when i'm fun, i'm inteligent fun, and that boosts my confidence. I lose my fragilities and start dominating situations. And this will take me to the previous point. Those girls i chased and got humiliated got back: I started being confident, funny, and not needy. My humour is a sarcastic/tough/no mercy humour. So they couldn't handle me in a challenge " oh you take baths too?" once one provoques me. "yes, one of us has to do it". Pam, she was on the floor. And she loved it. In my classes girls incline to me as I make some of the more hard remarks about work, society and other stuff. As they burst into laughter I keep just a confident smile "i got you in the palm of my hand" it seems to say. I dare to say, it's not the joke per se, it's the chalenge to their brains.
7- Women are ilogical. One of the things i learned here [unfortunately a bit late for me ] is that girls just don't need to make sense. They say they want to be rational but aren't. Their words mean little and when you confront them with their own contradictions they will be passive/agressive because "i'm complicated". Just tell me, how many times you heard this from a girl? Millions, right? So did I. Don't give it importance anymore, i tend just to make them take decisions. They are so insecure that even after a date were they puted you in the friend zone, they will think about it over and over, and if you stay cool and don't chase they can change of opinion.
8- Sometimes women are plain stupid. I had this happening to me at least 4 or 5 times: I spend time as a friend with some girls even flirting a bit but with no evolution. Then, years later, [in my case 5, 8, 10, and 20] they tell me "it was always you. Always dreamed about you. Do you remember that day when you visited me back in 2002? Good I wanted so much you to steal me away." One could say "well you don't know the reasons, maybe she just feels alone and trying to get your atention/testing you to be a satelite". I've had cases like that to. I can smell them. And i'm kind of cruel with those. This other girls were so precise, so intense, so ashamed, it was love. And would come back with one objective: to marry me. They told me so. My advice: If you sense a girl is in to you, probabily she is and sometimes she hides a deep love without you knowing. Keep the dialog open and be cool with every girl you didn't get. You might have surprises.
9- Sex is better with time to spare. I tend to get nervous when first time sex has to be quick, in a strange unconfortable place. I don't perform well. I need to know i'll be stayng with that girl for a couple of hours to catch up if something goes wrong. I lost a coulple of lays because of the insecurity of not deliver a good performance. Don't quite know how to solve this one.
10- Silence! Genious at work! I saved this one for last because it's so powerfull. I learned this with an old girfriend. One of those I chased wrongly in the first place. Once I got her alone and told her, "look, I still like you why don't you give me a chance?". What she did made me suffer like never before: She stood there, in silence, for 10 hole minutes until other people arrive. Her expression was not arrogant. It was like reflecting and hiding something she could never tell. She putted her eyes down sometimes looking elsewhere and compressing her lips from time to time. She was inacessible, but right beside me. As the wind moved her hair i knew I never loved anyone like that. Some time later we dated and i dumped her.
But the technique i never forgot. Don't recomend doing this to a girl you don't want to see after sex/afair. You have to wait until she's a bit into you and start making some dificult questions. You have to get some cumplicity otherwise it may seem artificial. I made it for 7 or 8 times now: Girl makes a remark/question and I stay in absolut silence, lookig nowhere/eyes down sometimes looking at her, smiling and saying a contraditory "hello!" and then going back to silence up to the point i end that moment by saying "look lets go out have fun". I smile and she knows i'm not going to open up. I can garantee you when I did it i could just hear teh girl fall in love with me. They all did.
11- when I look back, there's a worring fact about this 20 years. I dumped all my girlfriends. Egocentric SOB.
Sorry for the long post hope it useful for someone.
