- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 19
Hi All,
I'm new to GC, but not to seduction. Something in my head just "clicked" for me about a month ago after becoming completely addicted to GC and reading the articles and posts here (particularly Zphinx and Tool's post called "still not getting results"). I'm 40, and recently divorced amicably (legally done early 2014), and I've been through 2 years of personal growth and transformation since my ex moved out (new job, lasik, facial hair, makeover in style, voice, and body language, lost 25 lbs, etc.). I became a Salsa dancing addict about a year ago after randomly finding myself at a club for a Meetup event (I live in the Western U.S. in a major city). I enjoy the cultural "shift" to a more "latin" culture in salsa clubs, where human contact and sexual expression through dance are considered more natural compared to a typical night club. NYE 2013 was my first LR (at salsa club, posted below), and I had very little going on (not even many dates) after that until I found GC and started "manning up" to get girls out on dates and/or to a SL in the last month. I'm posting here to give and get feedback, as just logging every night out in a notepad on my phone the last month or so has been very productive. Chase's post on how to "Level up" indicated posting for feedback is also helpful, so I figure wtf.
LR: NYE 2013 into 2014 "afterparty": I met "HBDoc" at a major NYE Salsa event last year, at the biggest club in my city, she was an exotically beautiful blonde who turned out to be a full blown MD just starting a new job (more on that later). The owner had hired 3 live bands to play until 5 am. I often arrive early at these Salsa events to meet people, socialize, and take the beginner lesson which makes the beginner girls more comfortable with dancing with me later in the evening (I had only been majorly out dancing for about 7 weeks at this point). On this particular night, I was a bit too early (Latin clubs are usually dead until about 90 min past the announced starting time) and there was no lesson, and I had noticed that my fingernails had gotten a bit too long (I have a "problem" with this, they grow really fast), so I went to a local drugstore and got some nail clippers for my car (this is foreshadowing, and actually matters later). I parked again in my usual spot, and headed back in. The DJ was playing music (the bands hadn't started yet) and HBDoc shows up and we start dancing and talking about various things (a note for those new to partner dancing here: the approaches are easier in dancing if you just confidently walk up and ask a girl to dance. They have less value though, so the value really ends up being in "moving" girls off the dance floor to talk in a salsa scene, rather than the approach). If they seem educated, one of the openers I use with women to gauge their intelligence (I have a PhD, so this matters to me) is a qualifier joke I learned from a fellow PUA "Did you know that plastic dinosaurs are likely made from real dinosaurs?". HBDoc immediately "got" this one, so at that point, I just knew she was my page.
I recall the conversation and dancing going quite well, and she ends up buying me a drink (good sign #2). After we get a drink, I immediately started in with the old-school Style qualifier "what are your best 3 personality traits?" she seemed to be primed to play, so after answering she asks me what my best and WORST 3 three personality traits are. She later goes off to use the bathroom, and I make sure I'm NOT watching her drink or in the same spot when she gets back. By now its getting toward midnight and the positive body language / kino is really good. I had been touching her on the small of the back and she keeps giving me IOIs. We eventually got set up with some house champagne and I ask her "would you like to kiss me?" on the stroke of midnight and kiss her based on the obvious signal she gives. We continue to hang out and I recall asking her if she wants to bounce to my place to "watch my 22 pound cat chase a laser pointer.", to which she declines with a glimmer in her eye. I eventually isolate her to the lounge this club has upstairs with our drinks and we continue talking an making out. We go back downstairs near 1 AM, and she eventually decides to give me her # and leave. A few minutes later, I decide to call it a night (how could I top this?) and head to my car. This is where this night ends up being epic: I'm sitting in my car to go and HBDoc jumps out in front of it! She was previously in the car next to mine on the phone with her sister, and had seen me go in! I get out and immediately ask if she would like to hang at her place for a drink. She says "we can try but I'm really tired". When we get to her place she gets me a beer I recall not really liking and we go right back to making out with no LMR. We had sex twice that night, and almost a 3rd time in the morning, with my running out of condoms being the only thing preventing it. I took her out one more time after this (I find out much of this is her sister urging her to "get back out there."), and tried to do the conventional AFC structured date (dinner, comedy club, salsa). The texting for logistics back-and-forth were not the best, and I recall my leadership wasn't great. I had simply tried to "pack in" way to many activities into one evening. She even managed to convince me to go back to her place for dessert rather than dancing, so I went. Not that I'm arguing with the results (we had sex after playing a game I had orchestrated with some fruit and chocolate fondue). In retrospect, this was just bad planning on my part, as ending up at her place is where my Y chromosome is programmed to take things. If I had known then what I know now, this 1st "date" after NYE would have been a simpler one (dinner at her place or the comedy club only), rather than what I was trying to pull off. What stopped her from seeing me after this? I became way too needy and honest that night as she started asking questions about me in bed and I basically spilled my guts about everything I had been going through for the last year. The term "emotional vomit" describes it well. I could immediately tell it turned her off even though the sex was making her feel attached to me (she gave me the "pity / break-up" sex that morning and sent me off, we ended things with a phone call later that week). I have always looked back at this experience as I learn more about pickup to re-visit what I did wrong, as I really would have liked to have kept this girl around as a lover.
What I've learned so far:
(1) My first "date" with her should have been a simple one, and at least a week after we met to build some tension (it was only 4 days after)
(2) I needed to keep the sexy vibe and mystery going when she started peppering me with questions, and turned the convo back on her in bed.
Feedback and thoughts? I'll post my first 3 FRs (all make-outs with LMR) later for feedback.
SalsaChops
I'm new to GC, but not to seduction. Something in my head just "clicked" for me about a month ago after becoming completely addicted to GC and reading the articles and posts here (particularly Zphinx and Tool's post called "still not getting results"). I'm 40, and recently divorced amicably (legally done early 2014), and I've been through 2 years of personal growth and transformation since my ex moved out (new job, lasik, facial hair, makeover in style, voice, and body language, lost 25 lbs, etc.). I became a Salsa dancing addict about a year ago after randomly finding myself at a club for a Meetup event (I live in the Western U.S. in a major city). I enjoy the cultural "shift" to a more "latin" culture in salsa clubs, where human contact and sexual expression through dance are considered more natural compared to a typical night club. NYE 2013 was my first LR (at salsa club, posted below), and I had very little going on (not even many dates) after that until I found GC and started "manning up" to get girls out on dates and/or to a SL in the last month. I'm posting here to give and get feedback, as just logging every night out in a notepad on my phone the last month or so has been very productive. Chase's post on how to "Level up" indicated posting for feedback is also helpful, so I figure wtf.
LR: NYE 2013 into 2014 "afterparty": I met "HBDoc" at a major NYE Salsa event last year, at the biggest club in my city, she was an exotically beautiful blonde who turned out to be a full blown MD just starting a new job (more on that later). The owner had hired 3 live bands to play until 5 am. I often arrive early at these Salsa events to meet people, socialize, and take the beginner lesson which makes the beginner girls more comfortable with dancing with me later in the evening (I had only been majorly out dancing for about 7 weeks at this point). On this particular night, I was a bit too early (Latin clubs are usually dead until about 90 min past the announced starting time) and there was no lesson, and I had noticed that my fingernails had gotten a bit too long (I have a "problem" with this, they grow really fast), so I went to a local drugstore and got some nail clippers for my car (this is foreshadowing, and actually matters later). I parked again in my usual spot, and headed back in. The DJ was playing music (the bands hadn't started yet) and HBDoc shows up and we start dancing and talking about various things (a note for those new to partner dancing here: the approaches are easier in dancing if you just confidently walk up and ask a girl to dance. They have less value though, so the value really ends up being in "moving" girls off the dance floor to talk in a salsa scene, rather than the approach). If they seem educated, one of the openers I use with women to gauge their intelligence (I have a PhD, so this matters to me) is a qualifier joke I learned from a fellow PUA "Did you know that plastic dinosaurs are likely made from real dinosaurs?". HBDoc immediately "got" this one, so at that point, I just knew she was my page.
I recall the conversation and dancing going quite well, and she ends up buying me a drink (good sign #2). After we get a drink, I immediately started in with the old-school Style qualifier "what are your best 3 personality traits?" she seemed to be primed to play, so after answering she asks me what my best and WORST 3 three personality traits are. She later goes off to use the bathroom, and I make sure I'm NOT watching her drink or in the same spot when she gets back. By now its getting toward midnight and the positive body language / kino is really good. I had been touching her on the small of the back and she keeps giving me IOIs. We eventually got set up with some house champagne and I ask her "would you like to kiss me?" on the stroke of midnight and kiss her based on the obvious signal she gives. We continue to hang out and I recall asking her if she wants to bounce to my place to "watch my 22 pound cat chase a laser pointer.", to which she declines with a glimmer in her eye. I eventually isolate her to the lounge this club has upstairs with our drinks and we continue talking an making out. We go back downstairs near 1 AM, and she eventually decides to give me her # and leave. A few minutes later, I decide to call it a night (how could I top this?) and head to my car. This is where this night ends up being epic: I'm sitting in my car to go and HBDoc jumps out in front of it! She was previously in the car next to mine on the phone with her sister, and had seen me go in! I get out and immediately ask if she would like to hang at her place for a drink. She says "we can try but I'm really tired". When we get to her place she gets me a beer I recall not really liking and we go right back to making out with no LMR. We had sex twice that night, and almost a 3rd time in the morning, with my running out of condoms being the only thing preventing it. I took her out one more time after this (I find out much of this is her sister urging her to "get back out there."), and tried to do the conventional AFC structured date (dinner, comedy club, salsa). The texting for logistics back-and-forth were not the best, and I recall my leadership wasn't great. I had simply tried to "pack in" way to many activities into one evening. She even managed to convince me to go back to her place for dessert rather than dancing, so I went. Not that I'm arguing with the results (we had sex after playing a game I had orchestrated with some fruit and chocolate fondue). In retrospect, this was just bad planning on my part, as ending up at her place is where my Y chromosome is programmed to take things. If I had known then what I know now, this 1st "date" after NYE would have been a simpler one (dinner at her place or the comedy club only), rather than what I was trying to pull off. What stopped her from seeing me after this? I became way too needy and honest that night as she started asking questions about me in bed and I basically spilled my guts about everything I had been going through for the last year. The term "emotional vomit" describes it well. I could immediately tell it turned her off even though the sex was making her feel attached to me (she gave me the "pity / break-up" sex that morning and sent me off, we ended things with a phone call later that week). I have always looked back at this experience as I learn more about pickup to re-visit what I did wrong, as I really would have liked to have kept this girl around as a lover. What I've learned so far:
(1) My first "date" with her should have been a simple one, and at least a week after we met to build some tension (it was only 4 days after)
(2) I needed to keep the sexy vibe and mystery going when she started peppering me with questions, and turned the convo back on her in bed.
Feedback and thoughts? I'll post my first 3 FRs (all make-outs with LMR) later for feedback.
SalsaChops
