- Joined
- Apr 20, 2024
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- 143
OK lads bear with me ... this is going to be a long one. At the start of this week I set myself a challenge - to do over 20 day game cold approaches within 5 days. There were a couple of reasons I wanted to do this -
1. My pipeline had gone pretty much dead, and I had no new leads, and can't really be bothered with any of my regular girls at the moment.
2. I felt social momentum had slipped away from me, I was passing up opportunities to approach in my day to day life.
3. I gave some advice here to someone to approach 5 girls a day for a while, and I thought that's pretty hypocritical when I've never done it myself.
So I decided to do my own mini-version of Chase's approach 4 girls a day for a month challenge. I kept notes on every approach I made, and reflected each evening on how things went. Below is a summary of the week. At the bottom I've included some key take-aways and next steps for me. Welcome your thoughts!
Day 1
I had mad approach anxiety at the start of the day, but I had committed to doing this. I was at a busy train station and spotted a girl walking past. At first I was going to let her go, but then I forced myself to approach. She was great, a nice girl, a dancer. We had a good chat about where I lived, and I took her number. She did say she was literally out of a relationship a day ago.
Second approach - I walked into a store and saw an absolute rocket in the shop. I've got real AA about approaching INSIDE a store, so I went and stood outside to wait for her to come out. She took ages lol. Eventually she came out. I dropped my usual direct approach and she was really flattered, we chatted for a good 5 mins or so, I took her number and said I'd text her. I was pretty certain this was a good one which would lead to a date, but then I ended up bumping into her TWICE more whilst I was out continuing to game, and it made it a bit awkward (she ended up not texting back). Shame because she was super hot.
Approach 3 - really hot girl sitting down with a friend. I have AA about 2 sets so I left it, but noticed her friend leaving so I went straight in. There were loads of people around but I thought fck it I'm doing it anyway. She was very flattered but had a boyfriend, so I said no worries, goodbye etc.
Approach 4 - I had procrastinated for ages turning up lots of different opportunities to approach, eventually I thought fck it I've just got to do 1 more. Stopped a girl, completely butchered the approach, came across all nervous. She was actually more confident than me and led the conversation for a little bit (quite embarassing) before just cutting me off at a certain point and said nice to meet you but I've gotta shoot. Oh well.
Approach 5 - Later in the evening I was walking to my run club and then saw an absolute stunner on the high street. I came up behind her, grabbed her elbow. She jumped a bit and was startled. I delivered my opener, she absolutely loved it. Started to talk about her irish accent and where she was from. Eventually she said I am really sorry by the way I have a boyfriend. But it was a good interaction.
Approach 6 - my favourite approach of the day. I was walking back from run club and right at the very last second I noticed a stunner who was standing at the side of the road and we exchanged smiles. Without even thinking I was just pivoted back and went straight into my usual "excuse me .... bit direct but.." and she was really flattered but said she had a bf. It was my favourite approach because I didn't even think for one second, I saw her and before I knew it I was in the set, and it all felt very natural.
So first day I got 2 numbers out of 6 approaches. My main sticking point was the amount of attempts to approach that I passed up. I probably could've easily done 10-12 with all of the hot girls I saw, but AA got in the way a few times. Need to work on that.
Day 2
My worst day of the week. I procrastinated for ages before doing my first approach. The first one actually went quite well, but she had a boyfriend.
The second approach was pathetic, I tried something I had been using a little lately which is "excuse me, do you know where X is" and then when they start talking I interrupt and say "I'm just joking I actually thought you were hot and wanted to say hello". I tried this on a girl who was walking, and she actually just gave me like a half smile as if to say "nice try loser" ... and she just walked off. Then my third and fourth approaches were similar, couldn't even get into a decent conversation. So i left day 2 with 0 numbers from 4 approaches. Awful.
Day 3
A bit of a breakthrough day for me. I had quite a bit of AA after the poor showing on Day 2. I finally opened a hot girl with my direct opener, I was actually surprised at how calm I delivered it. She was super flattered, and really happy I opened her, but said she had a bf.
Approach 2 and 3 were similarly bad, and this is where I had my breakthrough. I tried the previous "excuse me, do you know where X is" line ... and both girls just carried on walking away when they realised I was trying to run game. The second girl looked at me like "haha, very funny" and I just realised this shit is not congruent with who I am. There was a post the other day about DLV in opening during the day, and it flashed into my mind because to me this was the epitome of demonstrating DLV. Opening with some bullshit line and then trying to transition into game ... I just realised this is not me at all. I need to be a man, plant my feet and tell them exactly what I'm stopping them for straight away, and own it. It was at this moment I told myself I'm never doing any of that indirect excuse shit again.
Approach 4 and 5 were both fantastic. Delivered my direct opener ... managed to stay super calm and composed both times. Took my time saying what I had to say, and then transitioned into conversations with both girls. Got both their numbers. Now I felt like I'd really found my groove.
Approach 6, later in the evening I was on my way to football. Decided to get there 45 mins early to see if there were any opportunities to open. Saw a great girl waiting on the corner, I walked past, we made eye contact, I immediately swiveled back and opened. It went GREAT , she loved it, I took her number and we hugged it out.
So final 3 approaches were all succeses, and I felt like I found my groove with my direct opener. Day 3 = 3 numbers from 6 approaches.
Day 4
Surprisingly struggled with AA today, I was surprised after the success of yesterday. I also noticed that fatigue was starting to kick in and I felt really tired from all the walking around. Did 2 successful approaches during the day and pussied out on a bunch of approaches. I gave up after a while and said to myself my head just isn't in it today. Then in the evening I went out to watch the england game with friends. As usual now I got there 45 mins early to spot opportunities to game. Saw a great girl walking out of a shop, stopped her, direct opener and she loved it. I took her number and we hugged it out. So day 4 was 1 number from 3 approaches.
Day 5
On the previous evening I got talking to a female friend about direct approach and what I usually say. She actually gave me some really useful advice. She told me to cut some of the words out of what I'm saying. Stop making it like a 'performance' and just say in a really straight forward, matter of fact way "excuse me, i think you look great, I just wanted to say hello". And today I took that advice on board, and it really helped my game. I only did 3 approaches, but in all 3 of them I felt incredibly calm, composed and in control of the situation. Bearing in mind all 3 were absolute stunning women, I had hardly any nerves in the interactions at all. 2 of them had boyfriends, the other 1 was by far the best interaction I had all week. We chatted for about 10 minutes, and I took her number. She was the hottest girl I spoke to her all week and just my type.
Day 5 summary - 1 number from 3 approaches.
So total end result was 7 numbers from 22 approaches. 6/7 of the numbers have responded, I think i can get a couple dates lined up.
Key takeaways for me from the week -
1. I really need to work on transitioning numbers to dates, as my ratio is too low here. Part of this is actually staying in the set longer, building familiarity etc, and part is working on my text game. I think skills method is the best approach, but I'm still working on being flirty / bantery in texting versus normal boring chat. I've got to get better at this.
2. I'm now going to really focus on working on building game into my day to day life so I don't have to go out and do day long approaching sessions on my own. I need to really focus on creating a lifestyle that brings girls into my realm, rather than me going looking for them. I'm a super social guy, but I've never really been able to crack this code. Despite the fact I have loads of friends, I'm just not part of big groups / social circles where girls come into my world. I need to work on this.
3. I'm going to actively start looking for wings (and I'm going to do a post on this). The lone wolf approaching thing is TOUGH, and I feel it would be easier for me if I had at least one or two like minded friends where we can help push each other. I've got to the point in my life now where I have literally ZERO single friends left, I'm the only one. I need to actually take action and proactively seek some like minded men who are on similar journeys, where we can bounce off each other. I think I'm pretty skilled with women but this would be so much easier if I had a few others to bounce ideas off.
Anyway - thanks for reading. If anyone else is struggling with pipeline / social momentum I recommend doing a similar type of mini challenge. It has really helped refine my approach and given me a solid pipeline of leads.
1. My pipeline had gone pretty much dead, and I had no new leads, and can't really be bothered with any of my regular girls at the moment.
2. I felt social momentum had slipped away from me, I was passing up opportunities to approach in my day to day life.
3. I gave some advice here to someone to approach 5 girls a day for a while, and I thought that's pretty hypocritical when I've never done it myself.
So I decided to do my own mini-version of Chase's approach 4 girls a day for a month challenge. I kept notes on every approach I made, and reflected each evening on how things went. Below is a summary of the week. At the bottom I've included some key take-aways and next steps for me. Welcome your thoughts!
Day 1
I had mad approach anxiety at the start of the day, but I had committed to doing this. I was at a busy train station and spotted a girl walking past. At first I was going to let her go, but then I forced myself to approach. She was great, a nice girl, a dancer. We had a good chat about where I lived, and I took her number. She did say she was literally out of a relationship a day ago.
Second approach - I walked into a store and saw an absolute rocket in the shop. I've got real AA about approaching INSIDE a store, so I went and stood outside to wait for her to come out. She took ages lol. Eventually she came out. I dropped my usual direct approach and she was really flattered, we chatted for a good 5 mins or so, I took her number and said I'd text her. I was pretty certain this was a good one which would lead to a date, but then I ended up bumping into her TWICE more whilst I was out continuing to game, and it made it a bit awkward (she ended up not texting back). Shame because she was super hot.
Approach 3 - really hot girl sitting down with a friend. I have AA about 2 sets so I left it, but noticed her friend leaving so I went straight in. There were loads of people around but I thought fck it I'm doing it anyway. She was very flattered but had a boyfriend, so I said no worries, goodbye etc.
Approach 4 - I had procrastinated for ages turning up lots of different opportunities to approach, eventually I thought fck it I've just got to do 1 more. Stopped a girl, completely butchered the approach, came across all nervous. She was actually more confident than me and led the conversation for a little bit (quite embarassing) before just cutting me off at a certain point and said nice to meet you but I've gotta shoot. Oh well.
Approach 5 - Later in the evening I was walking to my run club and then saw an absolute stunner on the high street. I came up behind her, grabbed her elbow. She jumped a bit and was startled. I delivered my opener, she absolutely loved it. Started to talk about her irish accent and where she was from. Eventually she said I am really sorry by the way I have a boyfriend. But it was a good interaction.
Approach 6 - my favourite approach of the day. I was walking back from run club and right at the very last second I noticed a stunner who was standing at the side of the road and we exchanged smiles. Without even thinking I was just pivoted back and went straight into my usual "excuse me .... bit direct but.." and she was really flattered but said she had a bf. It was my favourite approach because I didn't even think for one second, I saw her and before I knew it I was in the set, and it all felt very natural.
So first day I got 2 numbers out of 6 approaches. My main sticking point was the amount of attempts to approach that I passed up. I probably could've easily done 10-12 with all of the hot girls I saw, but AA got in the way a few times. Need to work on that.
Day 2
My worst day of the week. I procrastinated for ages before doing my first approach. The first one actually went quite well, but she had a boyfriend.
The second approach was pathetic, I tried something I had been using a little lately which is "excuse me, do you know where X is" and then when they start talking I interrupt and say "I'm just joking I actually thought you were hot and wanted to say hello". I tried this on a girl who was walking, and she actually just gave me like a half smile as if to say "nice try loser" ... and she just walked off. Then my third and fourth approaches were similar, couldn't even get into a decent conversation. So i left day 2 with 0 numbers from 4 approaches. Awful.
Day 3
A bit of a breakthrough day for me. I had quite a bit of AA after the poor showing on Day 2. I finally opened a hot girl with my direct opener, I was actually surprised at how calm I delivered it. She was super flattered, and really happy I opened her, but said she had a bf.
Approach 2 and 3 were similarly bad, and this is where I had my breakthrough. I tried the previous "excuse me, do you know where X is" line ... and both girls just carried on walking away when they realised I was trying to run game. The second girl looked at me like "haha, very funny" and I just realised this shit is not congruent with who I am. There was a post the other day about DLV in opening during the day, and it flashed into my mind because to me this was the epitome of demonstrating DLV. Opening with some bullshit line and then trying to transition into game ... I just realised this is not me at all. I need to be a man, plant my feet and tell them exactly what I'm stopping them for straight away, and own it. It was at this moment I told myself I'm never doing any of that indirect excuse shit again.
Approach 4 and 5 were both fantastic. Delivered my direct opener ... managed to stay super calm and composed both times. Took my time saying what I had to say, and then transitioned into conversations with both girls. Got both their numbers. Now I felt like I'd really found my groove.
Approach 6, later in the evening I was on my way to football. Decided to get there 45 mins early to see if there were any opportunities to open. Saw a great girl waiting on the corner, I walked past, we made eye contact, I immediately swiveled back and opened. It went GREAT , she loved it, I took her number and we hugged it out.
So final 3 approaches were all succeses, and I felt like I found my groove with my direct opener. Day 3 = 3 numbers from 6 approaches.
Day 4
Surprisingly struggled with AA today, I was surprised after the success of yesterday. I also noticed that fatigue was starting to kick in and I felt really tired from all the walking around. Did 2 successful approaches during the day and pussied out on a bunch of approaches. I gave up after a while and said to myself my head just isn't in it today. Then in the evening I went out to watch the england game with friends. As usual now I got there 45 mins early to spot opportunities to game. Saw a great girl walking out of a shop, stopped her, direct opener and she loved it. I took her number and we hugged it out. So day 4 was 1 number from 3 approaches.
Day 5
On the previous evening I got talking to a female friend about direct approach and what I usually say. She actually gave me some really useful advice. She told me to cut some of the words out of what I'm saying. Stop making it like a 'performance' and just say in a really straight forward, matter of fact way "excuse me, i think you look great, I just wanted to say hello". And today I took that advice on board, and it really helped my game. I only did 3 approaches, but in all 3 of them I felt incredibly calm, composed and in control of the situation. Bearing in mind all 3 were absolute stunning women, I had hardly any nerves in the interactions at all. 2 of them had boyfriends, the other 1 was by far the best interaction I had all week. We chatted for about 10 minutes, and I took her number. She was the hottest girl I spoke to her all week and just my type.
Day 5 summary - 1 number from 3 approaches.
So total end result was 7 numbers from 22 approaches. 6/7 of the numbers have responded, I think i can get a couple dates lined up.
Key takeaways for me from the week -
- One of the most important things i did was REFLECT each evening what went well and what didn't. So rather than just keep blasting through approaches, I was trying to learn and iterate my approach based on what I saw. This was really important for me as by the Friday I had learned so much and tweaked my approach so that I felt fully comfortably in it.
- One of the key things for me on the approach is to BREATHE and take things slowly. Whenever I appeared rushed and spoke quickly, the girl tended to mirror that and acted like she was in a rush as well. When I took my time, made her stop, waited for her to get her headphones out etc, it really slowed everything down and felt way more relaxed and calm.
- As I said on the Day 3 summary, I decided to completely abandon any type of indirect approach. To me it felt incongruent, and almost felt like I was trying to be a comedian rather than be a man. To be it feels a lot more natural to plant my feet, look them in the eye and tell them I think they look great. Once I started doing this and really owning it, i got only positive responses (either extremely flattered but taken, or flattered and interested).
- I know I need to push myself into sets that my mind wants to talk me out of. I seem to have a certain type of girl (my usual type) that I'm really comfortable opening, but any girl that is slightly out of that mold my brain tries to talk me out of. On day 5 I approached a married woman who wasn't my usual type but we had a great interaction, and it made me realise I need to push myself to open all types of sets.
- The advice from a female friend on Day 4 really helped. I started to see how my opener was a bit too much like a performance with too many words. "Hey, sorry bit direct, i thought you looked stunning, thought I had to say hello or I'd regret it later". I've cut all that shit down now. Its just straight forward "hey, bit direct but I thought you look great and wanted to say hello". No need for anything else. I look them dead in the eye when I say it and say super calm. I'm not trying to make them laugh (yet).
1. I really need to work on transitioning numbers to dates, as my ratio is too low here. Part of this is actually staying in the set longer, building familiarity etc, and part is working on my text game. I think skills method is the best approach, but I'm still working on being flirty / bantery in texting versus normal boring chat. I've got to get better at this.
2. I'm now going to really focus on working on building game into my day to day life so I don't have to go out and do day long approaching sessions on my own. I need to really focus on creating a lifestyle that brings girls into my realm, rather than me going looking for them. I'm a super social guy, but I've never really been able to crack this code. Despite the fact I have loads of friends, I'm just not part of big groups / social circles where girls come into my world. I need to work on this.
3. I'm going to actively start looking for wings (and I'm going to do a post on this). The lone wolf approaching thing is TOUGH, and I feel it would be easier for me if I had at least one or two like minded friends where we can help push each other. I've got to the point in my life now where I have literally ZERO single friends left, I'm the only one. I need to actually take action and proactively seek some like minded men who are on similar journeys, where we can bounce off each other. I think I'm pretty skilled with women but this would be so much easier if I had a few others to bounce ideas off.
Anyway - thanks for reading. If anyone else is struggling with pipeline / social momentum I recommend doing a similar type of mini challenge. It has really helped refine my approach and given me a solid pipeline of leads.
