2nd/3rd/4th/5th Dates

[Estate]

Hi Guys,
Looking back over the last year or two I need to ask something.

I've been getting girls and getting dates and so on...
But it's been falling apart on the 2nd-5th dates...

Before I read of lot of Chase's stuff, I moved slower and things seemed to get stale.
Since reading Chase's material I'd push things further and I'd fall into the "lover" category if anywhere but not the boyfriend category.

I've mixed it up depending on the girl lately but not seeing consistent results. If I genuinely like a girl I possibly go a bit slower. Faster than the younger me but I try to aim to see them again if I truely like them than just bed them instantly.

Here's the thing though... I've gotten much better at MEETING them, I've gotten much better at meeting them again and going on dates...
But after I see them a few times, there's only so much deep diving and discussing indept things you can possibly do. You can't really go on a 3rd or 4th dates and ask them again "So why do you do what you do, etc, etc..."
I feel I start incorporating more banter and more relaxed conversation because I can't keep up the in dept stuff CONSTANTLY but it seems to fall apart. Girls seem to need their emotions to be ramped up and up and up but there has to be some lulls in conversation, some down time, some ordinary chat and banter... It seems only natural... even with best friends and family, we have times where we are on it, full on fun mode, full on great chat about all the world but we just as easily sit there in silence in each others company or just chat about mundane things.... thats life!

But I just find the girls energy completely drop off when this happens. If I'm not ramping up their emotions constantly it begins to crash and they appear to just loose interest.
I'll be honest, I got shut down by a girl I have been seeing lately, tonight by text. The times we went out seemed pretty good and she asked to see me again after our last time out then went silent... I'm thinking back over the last date and this is all I can think of but it's a pattern I've seen over the last year or two. If I let their emotions drop for a second, it's game over it feels.

 

[NarrowJ]

Estate,

Reading into what you wrote, it doesn't seem like your girls are chasing. They're making you feel like you need to take action to keep things moving along and progressing. Once you turn the tables on a girl, and get her chasing you- it's all smooth sailing from there. You just lean back, enjoy the show, let her do all the work to entertain you and keep you interested in moving things toward her goal (relationship). She will be having the same problem you are right now: how come I cant rope him in? She will keep trying harder and harder. All the while, you need to be thinking about your goal too (sex).

I feel like you're putting too much pressure on yourself here, and maybe not getting a lot of investment from your girls. I'd work on that, getting compliance and investment. Seems that is what your interactions are lacking. That, and you need to be hitting your windows of opportunity. When she gives you a chance to move an interaction toward something physical- take that shit! I don't know if you've ever owned a dog, but I feel like this is a decent enough analogy:

If I leave food laying around, my dog will look at it and I know he wants it. But, he won't touch it unless I GIVE HIM THE OPPORTUNITY. As soon as I turn my back or leave the room, that little son of a bitch will snatch up whatever tiny morsels he can get his teeth on.

So think of yourself as a rabid dog, man. If they give you the slightest opportunity to move the interaction toward sex- take it in a heartbeat. Once you take a woman to bed, the subsequent dates will be effortless for you. They'll be doing all the entertaining and trying to do whatever they can to move things forward to what they want (relationship). Then, like I said, you just sit and enjoy the show, and you're in total control!


Cheers brother,

 

[Estate]

Thanks NarrowJ,
Yes, you do have a point about investment and making them chase, that's been a sticking point for me before coming here and still even since with girls of a certain standard.

I seem to be getting more and more of that investment early on, but at some point they seem to lose it. And I can usually tell when.
It's not that I'm relaxing or getting lazy but as I said, it's dificult to be "on it" and deep dive and all that constantly... lets say we've met 3-4-5 times, so we've spent a lot of hours together. Personally I like if a girl can chill a bit, just hang out or just converse and banter about ordinary things... being as intense as the original pickup 24/7 is totally draining and I think this is where I lose them.

Previous relationships before getting into this I also had the same problem... a few months in, once the initial honeymoon period was over, it seemed almost like every girl expected the white knight 24/7... just having an "ordinary day" was not good enough and they were gone.

I'm not sure if I'm approaching it right. If a girl is VERY like this I've almost used it as a filter... like if she REQUIRES this guy 24/7 to be talking, questioning, deep diving but can't be content with just relaxing once she's gotten to know a guy, I feel I just don't have time for it, she's going to be too much work.
Yet I encounter it SO much, I'm wondering is it me? Are MOST girls this way?

I need to review some of the old material about investment and making girls chase, I'm missing a trick here. I've gotten surprisingly better at pickup and meeting them early. If it's on I'm moving VERY fast and not caring and it's going great but obviously if I want to keep a particular girl around a little longer then I feel like I've gone past "game" and am now back to my old self.