2nd date LMR - could I have done anything differently?

[mystery2014]

Quick background:
A few weeks ago messaged a girl I shared a sofa with a few months ago at a party, friend of my buddy. Asked her out for a drink, she agreed, we went out, had a good time, went back to hers. Had some initial LMR (I dont do this on the 1st date anymore etc) but I went through it, was on top of her, had my finger inside her, she was starting to take off my boxers, when I received a phonecall from a family member about an emergency (worst timing ever) and I had to leave there and then.

Last night I met her again at her house. We smoked up together outside, and I got us close as it was getting cold. I made the move to start kissing again and she already started with the LMR again, but this time it turns out shes on her period. I off course went with the "that turns me on even more..." with a sexy look line, but she said it didnt turn her on, and that she didnt want it to go down like that.

We spent hours in her kitchen just talking, and every few minutes we would get close again. At one point I kept moving a little bit away so she couldnt quite kiss me and said "lets see who makes the first move..." and we were face to face about 1cm apart...and well she could not resist and went in. Shes a pretty shy girl in terms of her body. I had to really work to get her breasts out and started sucking on them. She was loving it up.

I tried everything I could, telling her how we have limited time, we are both going travelling soon, seperate ways, and she will be leaving the country at the end of the year. She even asked where in Europe I would be when she finishes her travels so she could try to come and meet me somewhere. Anyway she kept saying can I wait a few days.... I didnt agree but just kept trying to push through. She said "you are persistent but its not gonna happen tonight". Every time we were close we couldnt keep our hands off each other but there was no way I was getting access to that pussy.... I mentioned that this wasnt fair as last time I found out how warm and wet it was....but she blamed me saying that last time I was the one who had to leave...which is true.

In the end I said "Ok lets arrange another day" and she came up with a couple of ideas but I made my own one "Sunday 8pm" and she agreed. This will give her 2/3 days.

Im a bit stumped as after the 1st date I was sure it was going down tonight. She gives off a lot of signals that she is down for it but I tried everything I could! I am not going to message her or anything until Sunday to confirm that we are still on. If it doesnt happen on the 3rd date then I guess I will have to #next her!

 

[Franco]

mystery,

Im a bit stumped as after the 1st date I was sure it was going down tonight. She gives off a lot of signals that she is down for it but I tried everything I could! I am not going to message her or anything until Sunday to confirm that we are still on. If it doesnt happen on the 3rd date then I guess I will have to #next her!

Actually, getting THAT far with a girl and then not being able to finish the job right then and there can sometimes hurt you (especially if she was ready). She had a long time to think about what happened and what it is that you want, so she was much more prepared to toss up LMR so that she can keep you in a chasing role (which is what she really wants).

However, she obviously likes you and obviously wants you, and based on what happened, I think you can still get sex from her if it's what you really want. It might take a few more dates of you pushing for it though. If you don't get it by the 5th time you see her (maximum), then you need to pull away from contacting her. You can be warm if she contacts you, but at that point, she needs to realize she might lose you and then turn on the thrusters and suck you right back in... to the bedroom!

- Franco

 

[mystery2014]

mystery,

Im a bit stumped as after the 1st date I was sure it was going down tonight. She gives off a lot of signals that she is down for it but I tried everything I could! I am not going to message her or anything until Sunday to confirm that we are still on. If it doesnt happen on the 3rd date then I guess I will have to #next her!

Actually, getting THAT far with a girl and then not being able to finish the job right then and there can sometimes hurt you (especially if she was ready). She had a long time to think about what happened and what it is that you want, so she was much more prepared to toss up LMR so that she can keep you in a chasing role (which is what she really wants).

However, she obviously likes you and obviously wants you, and based on what happened, I think you can still get sex from her if it's what you really want. It might take a few more dates of you pushing for it though. If you don't get it by the 5th time you see her (maximum), then you need to pull away from contacting her. You can be warm if she contacts you, but at that point, she needs to realize she might lose you and then turn on the thrusters and suck you right back in... to the bedroom!

- Franco

Hey Franco, thanks for your reply.

Unfortunately she flaked on our next date last Sunday, and has already flaked for our re-arranged meetup tomorrow, using very unconvincing excuses.

I fired a text back basically saying "I enjoyed our time together and know you did too, if you want to see where this adventure takes us I can meet on xx and xx but if not Im not gonna chase..your loss."

Not sure if that was a good idea or not but it felt right at the time...cos I chased hard after the last girl I was after when she flaked like 5 times in a row and that got me nowhere, so Im not doing that again and making effort if they are not going too either.

We are both going on (seperate) holidays next week for about a month so I wont see this girl at all. I will fire one last text on sunday though but im 99% sure she wont wanna meet up, so it will have to be a #NEXT.

Very frustrating as on the 1st night we were so close....and now... 180 degree turn and shes not interested, I really don't get it as we got on so well!

Might have to try cold approaching...never tried it before...its pretty hard here in London. Still got a holiday to look forward to including meeting a girl in Italy I did manage to lay-close after meeting her (and we are still in contact 2 years later...) so yea guess Ill get over this sucky feeling in a few days...

 

[Franco]

mystery,

I fired a text back basically saying "I enjoyed our time together and know you did too, if you want to see where this adventure takes us I can meet on xx and xx but if not Im not gonna chase..your loss."

This text was great... until the very end. I would have left out the "but" part that you added in. You never want to explicitly state that one of you should or should not be chasing; it's something that's just implicitly felt by both parties, and trying to point out to her that you don't want to chase her just makes her think to herself, "well, I'm certainly not going to chase you either!" And then by adding "your loss" at the end, it just sounds bitter on your part that she didn't show up on the dates, and it makes her feel like she avoided a bullet by seeing you again (and re-affirms that she made the right decision).

It sounds like this one might have been a bust either way, but make sure not to burn any bridges with last texts like that! This very well could have been a girl who randomly texts you two weeks later and wants to see you again. If you send a text like the above one, you pretty much cut the cord on any possibility of that happening.

Anyway, on to the next one.

- Franco