Had a second date tonight. First date moved kind of slow. I could feel a connection building, and a little bit of attraction, but even after 2.5 hours, she still resisted the kiss.
She mentioned during the date that sex wasn't important to her, and some other stuff about only having sex in a very committed relationship. I blew it off.
She's close to 30 -- but from what I could tell, has a "past". (Tons of tattoos, drinking, troubled relationship with father, probably lots of f*cking, now turned to God -- the usual).
Took me a TON of persistence and 2 weeks later to get her out again. I could feel a "shift in the vibe" over text. She seemed less keen to link up.
Anyway, 2nd date. About an hour in or so we're talking about man-women stuff and the topic of sex comes up where she finally says she doesn't see herself doing that until marriage.
That was my cue to end the date. So I did. I told her sex was important to determine compatibility, so waiting until marriage was something I would never do.
Certainly, she's entitled to do and say whatever she wants. And I don't NEED to hit -- but this is a girl with a past, who has fucked plenty of dudes, eventually "found religion" to get over her suspect history, etc. So now she's giving me the stone wall.
I'm frustrated because I encounter this scenario a LOT.
First problem: these girls are too old. Close to 30 triggers their "agenda mode". So they're more likely to be stubborn and vocal about "not wasting anymore time."
Second problem: there's something I'm doing to trigger "boyfriend guy" reaction. I'm aware of the buzzwords and things I should be doing: "be more polarizing"..."tease more"..."challenge her", etc. But I feel I haven't made much progress -- and the idea of warming up a somewhat lukewarm girl into very interested girl escapes me. Other things, my vibe is off... my verbal game is probably setting bad frames, etc.
In the past 3 months, I can count:
1. ) a girl who told me she always makes guys wait 3-6 months to hit (her IG is nothing but rave pictures). I eventually hit but dealing with the frames soured my experience.
2.) a girl who said she has trauma from a previous relationship and also wanted to put the breaks on anything "fast" (without getting into it, I actually believe her trauma story
3.) and tonight -- a girl with a ostensible (but well-hidden) past, who literally told me she's not going to bang anyone again until marriage lol.
I have a few ideas to solve this:
1. Open younger girls
2. Figure out how to not trigger the "boyfriend switch" (but easier said than done.
She mentioned during the date that sex wasn't important to her, and some other stuff about only having sex in a very committed relationship. I blew it off.
She's close to 30 -- but from what I could tell, has a "past". (Tons of tattoos, drinking, troubled relationship with father, probably lots of f*cking, now turned to God -- the usual).
Took me a TON of persistence and 2 weeks later to get her out again. I could feel a "shift in the vibe" over text. She seemed less keen to link up.
Anyway, 2nd date. About an hour in or so we're talking about man-women stuff and the topic of sex comes up where she finally says she doesn't see herself doing that until marriage.
That was my cue to end the date. So I did. I told her sex was important to determine compatibility, so waiting until marriage was something I would never do.
Certainly, she's entitled to do and say whatever she wants. And I don't NEED to hit -- but this is a girl with a past, who has fucked plenty of dudes, eventually "found religion" to get over her suspect history, etc. So now she's giving me the stone wall.
I'm frustrated because I encounter this scenario a LOT.
First problem: these girls are too old. Close to 30 triggers their "agenda mode". So they're more likely to be stubborn and vocal about "not wasting anymore time."
Second problem: there's something I'm doing to trigger "boyfriend guy" reaction. I'm aware of the buzzwords and things I should be doing: "be more polarizing"..."tease more"..."challenge her", etc. But I feel I haven't made much progress -- and the idea of warming up a somewhat lukewarm girl into very interested girl escapes me. Other things, my vibe is off... my verbal game is probably setting bad frames, etc.
In the past 3 months, I can count:
1. ) a girl who told me she always makes guys wait 3-6 months to hit (her IG is nothing but rave pictures). I eventually hit but dealing with the frames soured my experience.
2.) a girl who said she has trauma from a previous relationship and also wanted to put the breaks on anything "fast" (without getting into it, I actually believe her trauma story
3.) and tonight -- a girl with a ostensible (but well-hidden) past, who literally told me she's not going to bang anyone again until marriage lol.
I have a few ideas to solve this:
1. Open younger girls
2. Figure out how to not trigger the "boyfriend switch" (but easier said than done.
