LR 3 Lays in 30 days. Help needed on most recent.

[Dario]

Whatsup fellas, Dario here. So December has been productive for me. As the title says three new lays in the past 30 days.However, The outcomes are not what I wanted with the exception of one girl. Here's a quick rundown. I'll use the first letter of the first name for privacy. I'm a very busy college student, so all of these were from tinder. This is 3 lay reports in one. Advice needed on S which is the last one.

A: HB 7

Sourced from tinder as stated above. Shot her a few messages during finals.(can go into details if requested). Tried to get a meetup one weekend and it didn't work out. The following week she tells me about an event at a local bar, and I get a friend to join me. She texts me that she's here and then that she's leaving. My response is basically "haha wtf I was there, couldn't miss me" We play phone tag. It's looking dead, and then I reach her.

• Her: Hey, I was at X where were you?
  Me: Just left, it was dead I'm chilling now. What are you doing?
  Her: Walking home. Might go to Kap Alpha party. Kinda wanted to meet up with you.
  Me: For sure, I'll hit you up in a minute lets link up.

So I go drop my friend off. *Felt kind of bad for that. Go to the fraternity party and meet her outside. Her friends are leaving saying "Hey A be safe let us know if you need anything." It's cold outside, so I tell her "let's go in and find the booze because I'm painfully sober." No booze. So we stand against the wall in the back and talk for about 30 min. I focus on deep eye contact. Playful shoulder touching. Jokingly picked her up because she asked me about BJJ and I told her I'd shoot a double leg on her. Anyway, still no booze she mentions she has a botel of shit grain alcohol in her dorm. She says it twice. I get it the second time and tell her lets to go back. More chit chat in her dorms, and then we fuck for 2 hours. So I leave and text her the next morning.

• Me: "Hey had a good time last night."
  her: "Me too "
  Me: " You seem like a pretty open-minded girl If you ever just get horny and want to hang out and have some good sex let me know."
  I was stressed when I sent that haha
  Her: I really like that idea. Same goes for you

We've hooked up maybe 4 or 5 times since then. Know shes back home for the holiday though. Regardless, this situation is ideal, and I've been trying to replicate with no success.

M: HB 5

On tinder. BS BS BS... Then

• Me: Nice, are you taking a break from finals tonight?
  yeah, I think so are u?
  Me: Yea, in a couple of hours but this weather is awful (implying i don't want to go out)
  Her: I know, I just want to be in my warmest pajamas snuggled up in bed all night, But if i Don't go out tn then that's it for the semester!
  Me: These are these are the greatest challenges of our times
  me: When I'm done with my work ill need to get a quick workout in. However, When I'm done, I can definitely fulfill big spoon duties. This weather is not for me.Being laid up is exactly what this weather is for haha>
  her: Good luck with your workout, X gym closes at 9but let me know about that big spoon situation when you're feeling it.

Apparently, that one was in the bag. Went to her dorm and had painfully dull sex. I left immediately and almost wished I had stayed home. She had a beautiful ass though so I guess its alright. I didn't care to ever talk to her again.

S: HB 7

Hot little Indian girl. Invited her to hang out with my buddies and me after she texted me. For added context we matched on tinder, and I ran into her in a stairwell while I was waiting on A's roommate to leave. I had literally just stopped having sex 5 minutes prior and was wearing a beach shirt completely unbuttoned. Its an all girls dorm and I have got an athletic build so I'm sure this helped.

• Her: Hey Dario, have you left for the break?
  Me: No, I'm from here haha
  her:Oh cool, I was gonna ask if wanted to hang out tonight but another time I guess have a good break.
  *This made no sense to me either but thought was literally nah fuck that*
  Me: Nah, we should totally chill. I'll be hanging out with some buddies. Fire pit and some beers. You're more than welcome to join us. I'll even pick you up
  Her: sounds fun, but I have a flight tomorrow. Can you drop me back?
  Me: No, Ill make you walk. Ill pick you up outside of the dorms in 15
  her: okay

Pick her up, and we go to my friends. Established rapport. Talk about boring everday BS. Girls like the fact that I do combat sports so we talk about that. Slap her inner thigh when describing the briskness of a punch to the nose I received. She laughs, and it's all good. Hang out with the buddies drink some beers and smoke some pot.
THINGS GO DOWNHILL.
She hits the bowl and PASSES OUT she was super high. She was in her armchair snooring. So, being the gentleman I am, I tell her I'm bringing her home. We drive back to campus, and I play some chill psych rock *The Band was Night Moves*. We get back and park across the street she goes in for the hug, and we start making out. I physically escalate. Hand up the shirt and kissing neck etc.

• Me: "Let's go inside."
  her: " My roommate said I cant bring anyone back but totally would"
  me: " Fuck it lets go park on an empty street."
  her: " Um no, this is my first time, and I don't want to be in a car."
  me" okay"

At this point I think she's full of it but whatever I'm about to leave. We make out some more, and she goes.

The following night......

• Her: My flight got canceled (ATL connecting flight) what are your plans tonight?
  Me: None, I'm free now.
  her: cool, come over in like an hour?

So I go over and we shoot the shit for 15. I pull her to sit on my lap, and we start making up pick her up and throw her on the bed. "Dario, this is my roomates bed"
Pick her up and through her on the other bed. She gave some good head. He had sex for about 30 min. Hair pulling and hard ass slapping included.

THIS IS WHERE I NEED HELP

So, I had just read A girlschase post about keeping a girl close. I wanted to keep having sex with her but I knew she was about to leave for two weeks (to India). SO I hold her good and close and give her some affection. I try to sleep there but her bed is too small for me, and I tell her I would stay, but her bed is tiny and tease her a bit about it. She said she had a good time and I DONT say it back to let her wonder a bit. We make out for a second, and I leave. I go home and crash.

The next day...

• Me: Hey, I had a good time last night
  her: I had a good time too
  WHERE I PROBABLY MESSED UP
  me: You seem pretty cool, and we could definitely have some more fun when you get back.

Crickets dude....Crickets... I'm trying to do the same thing I did with A. My concern is that the sex was good but not explosive like it was with A.

SO Whats the move with S from here lads?

 

[Hue]

Sup bro,

All good shit. Sounds like you're doing a lot of things right.


I noticed that with both the HB7's you sent somewhat of a ballsy post-sex text about a follow up. If they reciprocate you're golden, like with the first girl. You essentially say "hey we can keep doing the sex thing / be fuck buddies", which is asking for a lot of investment from her, over text, right after you guys banged.

It's not that this can't work, it's just a lot for girls to go from 1st time with this guy --> regular sex. I'm sure you get that. This potentially becomes more of a problem with a girls first (if it actually was) because of the mixture of emotions she can have involved with that.

As far as you not initially saying you had a good time to make her wonder, that's something you might want to do before sex. Making her wonder "does he like me?" is better used before sex to keep her investing and in your frame. After you've already fucked her, you want to assure her that yes, you do like her, without directly telling her. It builds comfort, diminishes the chances of her feeling like a slut for what she's done, and makes it more likely that she'll be back for more. After you guys have fucked the main thing to do is keep the sex great, don't meet up too regularly, and make the causality of the whole thing seem clear (what you seem to have accomplished with A).


The right amount of this kind of dynamic post sex can be accomplished by texting her you had a good time the next day, getting a similar reply, and then not texting her for 2-3 days. You send her a mixed message. She thinks, "he says he likes seeing me, I wonder if he'll ask to meet up again", then boom, you set up a second date / meet up.


When you choose to make her wonder too much after she's just been seduced it can have negative consequences from too low attainability -
unless you don't feel like seeing her again.

In this case, forcing yourself not to reciprocate that you're enjoying yourself with her company is incongruent with your actual feelings, and she might notice this - which could lower your value. Also, it might make her feel insecure as if she wasn't good enough in bed, pretty enough, likable enough, etc. all of which could make her less comfortable with you.


I know it might have been kind of minor, but again if she actually was a virgin this is amplified, so I thought I'd make a note of that.

Whats the move with S from here lads?

I'd either wait 5-7 days, then call her to see how her winter break is going, or don't engage until breaks over then try to run into her at her dorm, or shoot her a text within the first week of the semester.

Calling her would be to build comfort, and avoid the bullshits of texting. Also you have her right there so if you decide to set up something from break she probably won't just go and hang up lol.

Waiting, then texting her, would be the safest course of action if you ask me. Let things fizzle, then spark the fire once she's back in the college headspace and wondering about you again.

Keep it G,

Hue

 

[Dario]

Hue,

Thanks for the response. You made a good point about congruence.

Hue: In this case, forcing yourself not to reciprocate that you're enjoying yourself with her company is incongruent with your actual feelings, and she might notice this - which could lower your value. Also, it might make her feel insecure as if she wasn't good enough in bed, pretty enough, likable enough, etc. all of which could make her less comfortable with you.

I'm actually struggling with that. I've been told I give off the Type A personality, bad boy, asshole, vibe by both males and females. I can be those things but I'm also a big stupid softie too. I love being affectionate and gentle with women. I enjoy romanticism more than the average guy and I'm trying to blend that with lustfulness of the game. Don't get me wrong I'm a big fan of the rough stuff too. It's like switching from 80s skate punk rock to Bossa Nova Jazz. Both are me but I'm struggling to bring them together.

I agree with you about calling. I think it's a better idea than texting but in my mind, I've already been ghosted since a few days has passed. Worried the attraction will fade by the time the break is over. I guess all I can do at this point is text her when classes resume. Truth is shes cute and very chill and I would like to have her to my little group of girlfriends/ Fuck buddies which is currently a party of one

After you've already fucked her, you want to assure her that yes, you do like her, without directly telling her. It builds comfort, diminishes the chances of her feeling like a slut for what she's done, and makes it more likely that she'll be back for more.

So if she really was a virgin I don't want her to feel slutty obviously. Yet, she was asking for sex stories as we were laying there after the fact and she did ask me if the sex was good.

• S: "Dario does it usually take that long for you to cum? it must have been bad"
  me: " No that was a quickie sweetheart an hour or two is ideal"
  S: " Oh okay two hours sounds like too long"
  me: " Trust me two hours of good sex is just right"
  more nonchalant talk about sex etc

When I re-engage should I try and go on the anti-slut shaming monologue? I have a 50 shades of grey story that has been agreeable to women in the past. Definitely, don't want her to feel used or anything of the sort but I can't communicate that if she doesn't re-engage.

Thanks for your help

Dario

 

[Dario]

Update:
I'm up at 4 am catching up on work I hear the phone vibrate.

S: Yea I'm down!

Thanking God for analysis paralysis just this once.

Dario

 

[Hue]

Update:
I'm up at 4 am catching up on work I hear the phone vibrate.
S: Yea I'm down!



Thanking God for analysis paralysis just this once.

Haha, see bro you're probably fine. Funny how powerful getting a text ignored for a short time period can be - we've all been there.

So if she really was a virgin I don't want her to feel slutty obviously. Yet, she was asking for sex stories as we were laying there after the fact and she did ask me if the sex was good.
S: "Dario does it usually take that long for you to cum? it must have been bad"
me: " No that was a quickie sweetheart an hour or two is ideal"
S: " Oh okay two hours sounds like too long"
me: " Trust me two hours of good sex is just right"
more nonchalant talk about sex etc
When I re-engage should I try and go on the anti-slut shaming monologue? I have a 50 shades of grey story that has been agreeable to women in the past. Definitely, don't want her to feel used or anything of the sort but I can't communicate that if she doesn't re-engage.

Yea she might be insecure about her abilities in the sack, and you probably come across as an experienced lover.

One thing I did with a virgin was make getting better at sex "our little project" and taught her how to fuck over summer. Creates a great frame of you as the teacher and her as the dirty little student - plus you give her continual reward for getting better at sex by fucking her brains out. Something to consider if it fits your style.

Keep up the good work bruddah


Hue