300 messages, 15 responses, 0 dates

[NinthSanguine]

While in the Chicago suburbs for this next week, waiting for my family's new house to close in TN, decided to just message all the cute girls within 50 miles to see if I could get some hookups before I go, as you can see it did not work out.

I have not yet had any success with any form of online dating or app dating and am wondering what I am doing wrong. This is with 2 years using them.

In these messages I would either give them my number or ask for theirs after they responded twice, and thats the point where the conversations died and did not restart over text.

I can post my profile and conversations if need be as well.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Ninth,

You will probably need to troubleshoot your pictures. It's mostly the pictures, not the opener, that do the job for you.

I had to troubleshoot my pics several times. Initially I was dressing too classy - with blaser. It may be good for a younger man, yes, but me being 46, that made me more unattainable. I had to dress down, simpler, tee shirts, leather jacket, just to make me more attainable to younger girls. I played some time with more edgy pictures, a bit bad boy with sunglasses, leather jacket. Sort of Neo in the Matrix. Maybe a little intimidating, so I turned it down, I still use the pic but no longer as my main profile pic. Etc...

You need to work out for yourself what you want to convey in your pics and what works for you, it depends on your age and on how you look. Most probably on your current profile you are doing something wrong. Find other pictures conveying other aspects of yourself, and experiment. There are resources in this website about online pics. On http://www.blackdragonblog.com you will find further useful indications.

Also, you may want to try other online dating sites / apps. I noticed that there is a location thing: in Doha, Tinder gives me next to nothing, but in the Philippines, it gives me about 15 matches a day, more than I can handle. Badoo gives me good results, both in Doha and the Philippines, but in the UAE it only gives me prostitutes. Etc... So you may want to check other dating apps.

Today on my journal I posted statistics on my success rate since I started in 2014. You may want to check them: https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=8805&p=70536#p70536

I found that one in three openers lead to a meaningful text interaction with the girl.

I hope this helps!
Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[NinthSanguine]

Thanks for the reply! I fear that I have not yet acquired the skills necessary to critique my own photos. I have a feeling that my profile, messaging style, and photos are not coherent, but don't know what exactly to tune up. This is my profile currently https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Hruberen0

I have a feeling professional photos of me dressed nice and with company would go a long way. I'll get to adding those into my repertoire.

What are your thoughts on my profile as someone who has greater success than I in electronic dating seppuku?

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Ninth,

Thank you for your trust. So it seems your profile needs in depth changes indeed. Here is what I would say:

* Main picture: drop this funny overlay imperatively. Funny does not help seduction in any way. Show the sexy, rather than the funny.
* Too much books. It is great to read books, but that will not help your dating. First, it's not sexy. Second, it paints you as a man into philosophy and litterature and essays etc... Third, you it makes you feel too safe and harmless. Later on, when you try some game with a girl, it will be incongruent with how you painted yourself.
* You seem tall (which is good) and skinny (which is not good). Show the tall, do not show the skinny.
* Pic with friend, in general, is a good idea because it shows you as a fun guy to go along, and you're a social guy. However this picture I'm not too sure because your buddy looks a little nerdy. If you have a picture with plenty of people, including a few girls close to you, that would be ideal. If you have a picture with one girl (like in a date setting), you crop the picture, taking the girl out of the pic, but not completely, so that we can still guess it's a girl at your side. If you don't have any of these, or another pic in social setting, then keep this one.

Now your looks. I think it would help you if you dressed up. Me, my goal is to look more attainable and younger, so I go for Lacoste polos. You, your goal is to look older and higher status. You can try blasers and shirts I think.

You can also try being more edgy.

Hey man I hope this helps. Nothing is definitive, it's a trial and error process to get the profile right. Try different stuff, see how it works, see if your response rate improves. My guess is if you do some of the changes above, you'll get better response. Let me know if I can be of further help.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[NinthSanguine]

I've never had a Blaser before, where would be a good place to get one, and what should I know before making my purchase?

 

[Seppuku]

Hey man,

I'm not sure if there is an issue with my English? It's not my first language. By blaser I meant this sort of jacket:

http://blzjeans.com/12267-41263-medium/veste-de-costume-homme-grise-fashion-sixth-june.jpg

This is just a suggestion. The idea is to dress up and make you look a little older, just my idea. In reality you will need to experiment different looks and see what works for you.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[NinthSanguine]

No worries I understood what you meant perfectly. I've just never had one is all. Before finding this site I was very anti dressing up, so I have nothing in my wardrobe other than t-shirts, turtlenecks, and a few collared shirts.

Also I posted in the OKC forum of reddit, and it turns out that my messaging is as weak as a sack of wet kittens, I push for the meet early, but i'm coming off as disinterested in the girls i'm talking to. Here are some messages.

https://imgur.com/gallery/6HbcJ/new

Is there anything I can help you out with?