Some interesting articles pointing out that sex is overvalued and that there are actually large number of guys who are virgins. Even after 40 years old it looks like there are about 3% male virgins, which doesn't sound like a lot but giving the population it is more than 9 million guys just in USA.
It's just all in your head, it is a cultural believe; in reality sex won't make you better or more confident person...
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"it comes as a major shock that 40 percent of 18 to 24 year olds are still virgins"
http://stylecaster.com/playboy-2011-sex ... -are-left/
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More and more young people are abstaining. No less than 27 percent of 15- to 24-year-old men have never had any form of sexual contact (oral, vaginal, or anal) with another person, up from 22 percent in 2002. Meanwhile, 29 percent of females in that age bracket have never had sex, also up from 22 percent at the time of the last study.
The biggest increase in virginity was seen among 15- to 19-year-olds.
Eventually, though, they'll take the plunge: The survey found that almost everyone between the ages of 25 and 44 has had sex. About 98 percent of females and 97 percent of males in that range have had vaginal intercourse, 89 percent of females and 90 percent of men have had oral sex with an opposite-sex partner, and 36 percent of females and 44 percent of males have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner.
http://www.livescience.com/13072-sex-st ... -rise.html
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"Men are under immense cultural pressure to lose their virginity as soon as possible because of how much sexual prowess is tied into masculine identity. The idea of losing one’s virginity as a rite of passage to adulthood is a deeply entrenched one; thus, men carry around the idea that you are still just a boy until you’ve managed to actually ejaculate into another person’s vagina, no matter how old you may be physically."
"we live in a culture that glorifies male sexual conquests even as it pathologizes male sexuality. We are taught to measure a man’s value by the number of sex partners he’s had; the more women he’s seduced, the greater the value."
"If you take the idea that a man’s value is proportional to the number of sex partners, it’s not surprising that we absorb the idea that therefore someone who hasn’t had any is worthless.
Women, on the other hand are caught up in a particularly nasty double standard; while sex is tied with virility and masculinity with men, it’s value is inverted for women. For them, sex is commodified as an equivalent to purity: the less sex she has had, the higher her value. A virgin, therefore, is the ultimate expression of virtue and goodness (and thus priceless) and any woman who has an excessive number of sex partners (for a suitably subjective value of “excessive”) is degraded."
Here’s the hard and fast truth about virgins and virginity: it’s a completely cultural construct. ... you wait for too damn long for a thrill that’s over in under 3 minutes and half the time you’re wondering what the big deal was.
Having had sex doesn’t validate you as a person, nor does it somehow confirm that you have worth or that you’ve been devalued by the experience. It won’t magically give you confidence that you didn’t have before, it won’t change how you think or make you empirically more or less attractive. Anything you gain from sex was, ultimately, within you from the start.
The fear of "Too Late"
The fear of reaching is incredibly pervasive in our culture, especially when we’re bombarded with stories of how boys and girls are sexual at an increasingly young age. Just about everyone who is a virgin past a certain point – generally as soon as puberty hits, if we’re honest about it – is convinced that they’re on the cusp of reaching some nebulous “point of no return”. That deadline – the idea we have to lose our virginity by X date or remain forever unfuckable – tends to vary; we tend to put undue importance on arbitrary dates because they carry totemic significance for us.
The problem is that – for the most part – these fears are self-inflicted. It rapidly becomes a case of self-fulfilling prophecy; they believe that there is something shameful and wrong about being a virgin at such an “advanced” age and so it bleeds into other aspects of their lives. Some may become bitter and resentful, feeling as though they’re being cheated of something that they’re rightfully “owed”. Others will have their pre-existing approach anxiety ramped up to near pathological levels, leaving them with anxiety attacks and a crippling shyness around people they’re attracted to. Still others will be unpleasantly needy or put all of their focus on just trying to find someone to sleep with, instead of dealing with them as people.
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/01/2 ... ar-virgin/
It's just all in your head, it is a cultural believe; in reality sex won't make you better or more confident person...
----------
"it comes as a major shock that 40 percent of 18 to 24 year olds are still virgins"
http://stylecaster.com/playboy-2011-sex ... -are-left/
---------
More and more young people are abstaining. No less than 27 percent of 15- to 24-year-old men have never had any form of sexual contact (oral, vaginal, or anal) with another person, up from 22 percent in 2002. Meanwhile, 29 percent of females in that age bracket have never had sex, also up from 22 percent at the time of the last study.
The biggest increase in virginity was seen among 15- to 19-year-olds.
Eventually, though, they'll take the plunge: The survey found that almost everyone between the ages of 25 and 44 has had sex. About 98 percent of females and 97 percent of males in that range have had vaginal intercourse, 89 percent of females and 90 percent of men have had oral sex with an opposite-sex partner, and 36 percent of females and 44 percent of males have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner.
http://www.livescience.com/13072-sex-st ... -rise.html
--------
"Men are under immense cultural pressure to lose their virginity as soon as possible because of how much sexual prowess is tied into masculine identity. The idea of losing one’s virginity as a rite of passage to adulthood is a deeply entrenched one; thus, men carry around the idea that you are still just a boy until you’ve managed to actually ejaculate into another person’s vagina, no matter how old you may be physically."
"we live in a culture that glorifies male sexual conquests even as it pathologizes male sexuality. We are taught to measure a man’s value by the number of sex partners he’s had; the more women he’s seduced, the greater the value."
"If you take the idea that a man’s value is proportional to the number of sex partners, it’s not surprising that we absorb the idea that therefore someone who hasn’t had any is worthless.
Women, on the other hand are caught up in a particularly nasty double standard; while sex is tied with virility and masculinity with men, it’s value is inverted for women. For them, sex is commodified as an equivalent to purity: the less sex she has had, the higher her value. A virgin, therefore, is the ultimate expression of virtue and goodness (and thus priceless) and any woman who has an excessive number of sex partners (for a suitably subjective value of “excessive”) is degraded."
Here’s the hard and fast truth about virgins and virginity: it’s a completely cultural construct. ... you wait for too damn long for a thrill that’s over in under 3 minutes and half the time you’re wondering what the big deal was.
Having had sex doesn’t validate you as a person, nor does it somehow confirm that you have worth or that you’ve been devalued by the experience. It won’t magically give you confidence that you didn’t have before, it won’t change how you think or make you empirically more or less attractive. Anything you gain from sex was, ultimately, within you from the start.
The fear of "Too Late"
The fear of reaching is incredibly pervasive in our culture, especially when we’re bombarded with stories of how boys and girls are sexual at an increasingly young age. Just about everyone who is a virgin past a certain point – generally as soon as puberty hits, if we’re honest about it – is convinced that they’re on the cusp of reaching some nebulous “point of no return”. That deadline – the idea we have to lose our virginity by X date or remain forever unfuckable – tends to vary; we tend to put undue importance on arbitrary dates because they carry totemic significance for us.
The problem is that – for the most part – these fears are self-inflicted. It rapidly becomes a case of self-fulfilling prophecy; they believe that there is something shameful and wrong about being a virgin at such an “advanced” age and so it bleeds into other aspects of their lives. Some may become bitter and resentful, feeling as though they’re being cheated of something that they’re rightfully “owed”. Others will have their pre-existing approach anxiety ramped up to near pathological levels, leaving them with anxiety attacks and a crippling shyness around people they’re attracted to. Still others will be unpleasantly needy or put all of their focus on just trying to find someone to sleep with, instead of dealing with them as people.
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/01/2 ... ar-virgin/
