FR 7 days of FR's

[PrettyDecent]

Hey y'all,

After getting some recent inspiration from Waterboii's posts (Check 'em out here: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3580), I'm hoping to get some constructive criticism on my technique. Criticism from anybody is fine, and if you feel like you want to comment/question/criticize something I did, please feel free to!

Day 1 -

I've been sick over the past few days, and had this boil on the side of my nose for a couple weeks...I was feeling really self-conscious about it, but it's almost gone, and I got over the sickness (almost), so I knew today was going to be a day out! Self-doubts were coming up, but I knew once I got some social momentum going, it'd be fine!

Started chatting to a man at the bus stop, really fascinating, sociable guy, but turns out he's a paranoid schizophrenic. Nevertheless, I was feeling more sociable. Talked to a few more people before I got to my train stop.

Thus starts Girl 1 ("Melissa") -

Started this one with a cute brunette at a train station, standing 10 or so feet away. I opened -

Me: "Excuse me!"
Her: Walks over to me Yeah!
Me: How do you suppose I go from this side of the station...to that side? points to other side
Her: I think you go this way...wait no, THAT way....umm, actually it was this way!
Me: "Oh my god" (facepalm)
Me: "you live here!"
Her: laughs "OK, OK! I'll walk you over there!"
Me: "Well...that sounds OK. I'm Nicholas, by the way."
Her: "I'm Melissa!"

She walks me over to the other side, we're talking something about travel, and whatever. I'm not too good at remembering dialogue, unfortunately! At one point I remembered I didn't open direct, so when we got to the other side, I got a bit closer to her, let the conversation drift out, and just looked into her eyes pretty sexually and we held EC for maybe 3-4 seconds of silence. Not that long, I suppose...this was the first time I tried it out, but it felt great! Broke the sexual tension by talking some more talk, told her she needs to go back to the train before she misses it, and this was the text convo thereafter:

Me - Glad to have met you, Melissa =) - Nicholas (<--started using full name per this insightful little post by NJ: viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3455)
Her - Nice to have met you too . How long are you in Perth for? Oh, btw it's (corrected the spelling of her real name).
Me - Hmm..would be a better topic in person . What's your sched look like?
Her - Haha, yeah true that. Umm should be free Tues, Thurs or Friday next week.
Me - Great say 7 on Tuesday?
Her - Sure, sounds good. Where'd you wanna meet?
Me - Right on! Shall we say Perth Station?
Her - Yep, sounds good. I'll see you then.
Me - Cool. See you there!

Wasn't sure if I should send another text saying "Yep! See you then " but it felt a little redundant. ANYWAYS, next girl!

Had 2 (Girl 2, Girl 3) rejections. With Girl 2 I didn't open right, and I thread-amplified the fact that I scared her on the opening...woops! Girl 3 said she had a boyfriend in a way that she wasn't open for anything. No worries! Next girl!

Girl 4 ("Chloe")
I saw this really cute girl walking opposite me with the hottest red apple, to crisp white jacket combination, and I LOVE style and fashion. I opened her -

Me: Excuse me (motioned for her to take out her headphones)
Her: looks at me inquisitively
Me: You have absolutely the best sense of style I've seen all day. I'm Nicholas.
Her: Thank you! I'm Chloe!
Me: Yeah, where did you get this jacket from, anyways?
Her: Actually, I was in New York!
Me: No way! Here, let's get out of this foot traffic. I move her a couple times, and she complies. Much needed advice I got from Franco

We got talking about her travels in the States, and travel in general. She never asked me any questions, but she would comply with me when I moved her, even though she was going to meet a friend. But we both really wanted there to be a deeper connection, and we were clearly both very attracted to each other in the first 2 minutes, but it felt like the conversation was dwindling down at the end. After she was done typing her number in my phone, she said that I can text her the number, and that she has to go. I sent an icebreaker text, but didn't get a response. Not too suprised, just a little disappointed because she was legitimately pretty. Oh well, next one!

Girl 5 -
I didn't get a name, but this was our conversation -

Me: "Excuse me"
Her: just looks at me inquisitively...in fact, that's the only thing I remember girls doing after I say "Excuse me"
Me: "I wanted to let you know that your style is incredibly cute, and I wanted to say hello. I'm Nicholas.
Her: Oh my god, thank you! I completely wasn't expecting that (laughing)
We start crossing the street, making some small talk, and then...
Her: Are you walking this way?
Me: Actually, I'm walking that way. You wanna come with?
Her: No, actually, my _____ is over there! See ya!
Me: No worries, see ya!

That was that!

Girl 6 ("Bella")
Was watching this concert that happened to be outside, and I was texting on my phone, casually hanging out. Saw this girl passing by me conspicuously a few times (caught ya!), so I put my hand on the top of her elbow as she's passing by me again to stop her from walking, and said -

Me: So what's the deal with this gathering anyways?
Her: Its (insert rather long dialogue...I was just listening, nodding, smiling)
Me: You sound so passionate about this subject! What got you into this?
Her: (Really long dialogue again)
Me: Related to something she said, and moved her toward somewhere else for compliance

She seems like a cool gal, she's going for her Master's degree, and doing some other stuff I thought was legitimately really cool. This was our text convo:

Me: Glad to have met you - Nicholas
Her: It was nice meeting you too look forward to meeting u again

Then she butt dialed me later "on accident". We got a date established for the Tuesday after next.

Girl 7 ("Ling")
Saw a Chinese girl walking toward me (I have a love for Chinese girls), so I stopped her. Opened well and pretty standard stuff thereafter, so I won't say much on it. Grabbed her number. She hasn't answered the icebreaker, but I'll try again later.

Girl 8 ("Jessica")
She walks past me, and I get a little hesitant before I approach. She looks great, to say the least. Somehow mustered the courage to approach, I walk up to her direct:

Me: "Excuse me"
Her: *Looks at me*
Me: I thought you were incredibly cute, and I wanted to say hello. I'm Nicholas.
Her: Hi. *shuffles the papers around on her hand* I'm Jessica.
Me: Those are quite the load of papers you are shuffling around there.
Her: Yeah, totally, I had an interview today at ______.

We get to the train stop a minute later and she says she needs to go. That's probably not a good sign. Next time I'm going to have us stop completely if it's a street approach, so that interruptions like that don't happen. I text her, and she responded to the icebreaker. I'm about to ask her her schedule, so we'll see if this turns into a date!

Girl 9 ("Ashley")

See her standing next to a map

Me: "Bit confusing, isn't it?"
Her: "Haha yeah, I already know most of it, though"

We start talking, and we're having a good time, it feels like. She mentions her boyfriend several times, so at one point I was talking to her just because I enjoyed it. At another point she classified herself as "newly single" (weaved into a story she was telling, it wasn't outright! lol), so I took that as a cue to take her phone number down later. When I was leaving, we had this little exchange -

Me: "Well, I suppose I have to move over there. It was excellent to meet you, Ashley."
*have my hand to out to shake*
Her: *laughs* "it was excellent to meet you, too!"
*I noticed when she was shaking my hand, she was actually shaking it. I don't like that, I'd rather her leave her hand in one position, it seems more romantic
Me: "Your shaking your hand. Here, try this instead."
*I hold her hand in the air*
Me: "It was excellent to meet you, Ashley"
Her: *laughing really now* "It was nice to meet you, too!"
Me: "Excellent. That's my train, I'll see you later!"
Her: "See you later!"

Here's the text convo after:

Me: Glad to have met you, Ashley - Nicholas
Her: Haha. Yes it was nice to meet you to.
Me (about 1 hour later): For sure . We ought to grab that bite to eat soon! What's your sched look like?

No reply from this one. I'm wondering if getting the date over a number should feel as natural as it would over conversation, and I'm missing out on that social intuition or what? Next one!

Girl 10:

This was kind of a funny one. I'm talking to her at the bus stop, and we're starting to enjoy ourselves when suddenly my bus comes, and I have to rush to make it. I tell her quickly "That bus over there is mine, so how about this. If you put your number in my phone, I'll call you later, and we can arrange a time to meet sometime. So put your phone number in, like, really quick." She puts her number in my phone, and then I run on to the bus, and the bus driver is like "Dude, getting digits? This ride is on me." I was like, "Cheers, bro!". Really cool guy. Bus drivers are around here. Unfortunately, I accidentally deleted her number before I could save it, so...woops!

Girl 11 ("Jodie"):

I absolutely tanked on this one. It was horrible. Let me explain...I'm talking to the bus driver from the last section, and this girl walks in. Fantastic brown coat, the reddest lipstick, and she looks like a model from the 1920's. Absolutely STUNNING. A few minutes go by with me talking to this driver, and I decide to walk back to where her seat is. When I'm going down the isle, we make Eye Contact. Not sure if it was accidental, but I'll take it! I take the seat behind her, and then I have to try and touch her elbow twice to get her attention. I go direct, and she responds really well. We get talking for a few moments, and it was going pretty standard (which is good). And then I started getting self-conscious about this little boil I have left (like I discussed from the first paragraph), and everything goes to shit. I started moving for her, and I start to get self-conscious about me talking to her on a bus, too. Like, everybody is watching.

Basically, she was the most socially attuned girl I've ever met. And I'll tell you, it has to be the most attractive trait I've ever seen in action. It's hot. She picked up on every single one of my mistakes, and then handled it with social grace. Really, social pro. But the interaction turned to shit, and I got needy (which, admittedly, hasn't happened in a while, but it succumbs the best of us sometimes). We bidded our farewells, and that was that!

Anyways, that was the day! Extremely long post, I'll probably try and tone it down in the future.

Would love to hear feedback,
~Nick

 

[Mr.Rob]

Sup Nick,

Really just seems like standard approach and conversation practice nothing really jumped out at me (though being a beginner I could have easily missed shit I don't know about). One little thing that might paint you as a more dominant man upon first opening is cutting out the "excuse me" pre-frame. Idk if you've read the articles on opening (can't remember which one for the life of me) that explains how saying excuse me is like subtly apologizing for the inconvenience. I usually tell/semi command girls "Hey hold up a second" while I pre-open to form a better first impression as a dominant man. Nothing make or break but try it see what you think.

I absolutely tanked on this one. It was horrible. Let me explain...I'm talking to the bus driver from the last section, and this girl walks in. Fantastic brown coat, the reddest lipstick, and she looks like a model from the 1920's. Absolutely STUNNING. A few minutes go by with me talking to this driver, and I decide to walk back to where her seat is. When I'm going down the isle, we make Eye Contact. Not sure if it was accidental, but I'll take it! I take the seat behind her, and then I have to try and touch her elbow twice to get her attention. I go direct, and she responds really well. We get talking for a few moments, and it was going pretty standard (which is good). And then I started getting self-conscious about this little boil I have left (like I discussed from the first paragraph), and everything goes to shit. I started moving for her, and I start to get self-conscious about me talking to her on a bus, too. Like, everybody is watching.

Basically, she was the most socially attuned girl I've ever met. And I'll tell you, it has to be the most attractive trait I've ever seen in action. It's hot. She picked up on every single one of my mistakes, and then handled it with social grace. Really, social pro. But the interaction turned to shit, and I got needy (which, admittedly, hasn't happened in a while, but it succumbs the best of us sometimes).

Haha I think all of us can relate to that one. Dried up the pussy with neediness. Honestly though these are the interactions I think we learn the most from. Especially if it shatters your ego because then you can build your ego back up and you'll be mentally stronger, at least that's how I look at it. But yeah those are the cringe moments when you see everything going to shit right in front of you and there's nothing you can do to save it in the moment. Your better prepared now for next time.

-Rob

 

[PrettyDecent]

Rob,

Good points, my friend. Thank you for contributing!

One little thing that might paint you as a more dominant man upon first opening is cutting out the "excuse me" pre-frame. Idk if you've read the articles on opening (can't remember which one for the life of me) that explains how saying excuse me is like subtly apologizing for the inconvenience. I usually tell/semi command girls "Hey hold up a second" while I pre-open to form a better first impression as a dominant man. Nothing make or break but try it see what you think.

I was doing the "hey, hold up!" thing for a while, and it usually worked in stopping girls, actually. It always felt just slightly off for me, though, as if they were running away from me and I needed to pin them down. But I suppose changing your voice tone could solve that.

Really just seems like standard approach and conversation practice nothing really jumped out at me

Hmm...thinking I'll post the best interaction and the worst interaction, and go into better detail into each of those, and then cut out the fluff in the middle.

~Nick

 

[Marty]

Nick:

This is fantastic stuff, so rich in material I hardly know where to start commenting! Glad to hear you're on a roll.

Me: "Excuse me!"
Her: Walks over to me Yeah!

OMG this already looks like a professional in action. Love the way you get substantial investment right off the bat. I simply must try that.

Her: I think you go this way...wait no, THAT way....umm, actually it was this way!
Me: "Oh my god" (facepalm)

Incredibly quick and smooth move to teasing. I just love the tone of this whole interaction. I had pretty much given up on indirect-direct, preferring direct for its "cheekiness", but this illustrates perfectly how to do it well, and the nice thing about opening indirect at first is that it keeps her guessing a few seconds as to whether you like her... generating what Chase calls "rumination" and thus further investment. Way to go!

Me - Hmm..would be a better topic in person . What's your sched look like?
Her - Haha, yeah true that. Umm should be free Tues, Thurs or Friday next week.

God, this is good. I sure can learn from your texting. Talk about keeping her moving in the right direction!

Me: Excuse me (motioned for her to take out her headphones)
Her: looks at me inquisitively
Me: You have absolutely the best sense of style I've seen all day. I'm Nicholas.

So that's the way to do it. So many girls with headphones these days (especially the younger ones, like sub-27) that I've been wondering about the correct approach. Again you are generating investment before she's even opened her mouth. Whoa! I am learning.

Me: No way! Here, let's get out of this foot traffic. I move her a couple times, and she complies. Much needed advice I got from Franco

Beautiful.

I sent an icebreaker text, but didn't get a response. Not too suprised, just a little disappointed because she was legitimately pretty. Oh well, next one!

Ask the "senior" guys here whether you should follow up further. Seems like you might be missing out, from the way you describe the tone of the interaction. In How to Text Girls: 20 More Tips and Techniques, Chase writes that it doesn't matter whether you get a reply to an icebreaker. Tool Vaunswa told me the opposite, but it looks like in your case the jury's still out. Hope someone can comment for you.

Me: "I wanted to let you know that your style is incredibly cute, and I wanted to say hello. I'm Nicholas.
Her: Oh my god, thank you! I completely wasn't expecting that (laughing)

It makes my day when I get a good reception like that, even if nothing comes of it (like here). It just feels good... bless those warmhearted girls!

Saw this girl passing by me conspicuously a few times (caught ya!), so I put my hand on the top of her elbow as she's passing by me again to stop her from walking
Then she butt dialed me later "on accident". We got a date established for the Tuesday after next.

This one sounds like a good'un. Hope it works out, I'm rooting for you!

Me: "Your shaking your hand. Here, try this instead."
*I hold her hand in the air*
Me: "It was excellent to meet you, Ashley"
Her: *laughing really now* "It was nice to meet you, too!"

You charmer, Nick! You're an inspiration.

the bus driver is like "Dude, getting digits? This ride is on me."

What a cool guy.

Basically, she was the most socially attuned girl I've ever met. And I'll tell you, it has to be the most attractive trait I've ever seen in action. It's hot.

Agree 100%!

She picked up on every single one of my mistakes, and then handled it with social grace. Really, social pro. But the interaction turned to shit, and I got needy (which, admittedly, hasn't happened in a while, but it succumbs the best of us sometimes).

I have a nasty feeling I'm succumbing to it every time, I just don't know it. Not sure what signs to look out for.

Anyway, fantastic set of reports, thanks for sharing!!

-Marty

 

[Marty]

PS:

Unfortunately, I accidentally deleted her number before I could save it, so...woops!

Always, always hit "Call" after you get digits. Then it's in your history as a canceled number. Also reminds you what time you met (for icebreaker purposes). If you accidentally don't hang up in time and she gets a missed call, no big deal in my view.

 

[Michael]

Me: Excuse me (motioned for her to take out her headphones)
Her: looks at me inquisitively
Me: You have absolutely the best sense of style I've seen all day. I'm Nicholas.
Her: Thank you! I'm Chloe!
Me: Yeah, where did you get this jacket from, anyways?
Her: Actually, I was in New York!
Me: No way! Here, let's get out of this foot traffic.

Wow! That was really smooth. You moved her within 15 seconds.

How long did it take you to learn how to do that?

 

[PrettyDecent]

Ask the "senior" guys here whether you should follow up further. Seems like you might be missing out, from the way you describe the tone of the interaction. In How to Text Girls: 20 More Tips and Techniques, Chase writes that it doesn't matter whether you get a reply to an icebreaker. Tool Vaunswa told me the opposite, but it looks like in your case the jury's still out. Hope someone can comment for you.

Cheers for all your kind words, Marty!

That article you posted is like my bible! Interesting to hear the difference between Chase and The Tool's reply on this. Since I'm closer to The Tool's skill level, I'll probably get closer to the same results, and it's true here. If I don't get a reply to the icebreaker, I never get a reply for a second text. And I always send a second text...but perhaps the second text I'm sending is bad. I'll show them below.

I have a nasty feeling I'm succumbing to it every time, I just don't know it. Not sure what signs to look out for.

For me, if I'm not thinking clearly/stuttering, or I start breathing really heavy/feeling short of breath, and I'm not visibly "dominant" (can't think of a better word) of the interaction, then I'd consider it me being needy. I almost never get successful leads this way. I have a feeling it comes from lack of proper social momentum.

Always, always hit "Call" after you get digits. Then it's in your history as a canceled number. Also reminds you what time you met (for icebreaker purposes). If you accidentally don't hang up in time and she gets a missed call, no big deal in my view.

Will try this next time!

Wow! That was really smooth. You moved her within 15 seconds. How long did it take you to learn how to do that?

Just say it, my friend, she will follow . You'll be surprised what a girl will do for you when there's initial attraction from her.

Day 2 -
Today was a good lesson for that'll help me for the days coming: If you do not get social momentum as soon as you go out, cold approaches will not work with nearly as much efficacy. Wasn't really feeling like getting out of the house today, since I have a bad track record with gaming on Sundays, but I committed to doing 7 days here, so I went out. I didn't have a conversation with anyone and felt kind of needy during my cold approaches. So I did 3 approaches, but none of them were quality from my end, so I just came home. Lesson of the day: ALWAYS gain social momentum BEFORE cold approaching! Tomorrow I'll make up for it

I got a lot of texting practice down today, so I'll write down the interactions here:

Sent a text to "Ling" from yesterday (note I didn't get a reply to my icebreaker):

Me: Howdy, Ling! How'd the study session go?

No reply. I sent a text to "Jessica" from yesterday (short reply to icebreaker from before):

Me: Hey Olivia, how was the rest of your saturday?

No reply, either.

So anyways, I got home, and remembered a girl I'd met named "Alyssa" that lived close by, these were the text messages from a couple weeks ago:

Me: Hey Alyssa, glad to have met you - Nick
Her: Hey, nice 2 have met u 2. How's Perth? I probably should hav mentioned Perth is pretty dead on a Monday night...Espec when it's a public holiday
Me: Just found that out! lol. Luckily I'm meeting someone here, so no biggie
Her: Oh tht is lucky haha otherwise ur perception of Perth might hav been ruined forever hav a good night
(next day)
Me: How's the new walking regime treating you, Alyssa?
Her: Haha yes good, I just got back, actually, good day?
Me: Right on, you inspired me to hit the gym finally, lol. Anyways, wanted to chat before I leave tomo, but it's already so late tonight..!
Her: Ohh thts a shame, what happened to staying a while? Too boring haha?
Me: Nah, just a brief vacation. To be back soon
Her: O cool, going far?
Me: All the way . Thinking i'm heading to bed early. Sweet dreams, Alyssa!
Her: Night, enjoy the vacay..!

so I call her today (2 weeks later), and she doesn't pick up, but texts me 15 minutes later:

Her: Heeey just saw ur call, what's up? U back in Perth ?
Me: Alyssa, hey! Back, yes. If you aren't otherwise booked, was thinking we ought to just chill and watch a movie/grab some food!
Her: I'm at left bank having some drinks! Tht would hav been really good, mayb a night during the wk?
Me: Right on! We'll figure it out.
Her: Cool, u should come to lefty it's alrigggght

Wasn't sure what to do in this situation. I don't want to go out tonight, so I just ignored it. Will text her on Tuesday, and ask the schedule like this - "Hey Alyssa! how's that schedule looking for this week? ".

~Nick

 

[Marty]

Her: Cool, u should come to lefty it's alrigggght
Wasn't sure what to do in this situation. I don't want to go out tonight, so I just ignored it.

From the same article we were just discussing (you're right, Nick, I think it's one of the first on GC I ever read, and I return to it time and again):

Girl: Hey Will... omg, my weekend was insane. Waaay too much drinking Saturday night, never doing that again, lol! Lunch? Let me check what I have going on this week. Oh, btw, did you hear about the new club they're opening up downtown next week? It's called "Motown." We should totally go to that! I have a friend who says he can get tickets.

This is where most guys drop the ball. They feel like something's wrong here... this girl seems to be calling the shots. It's weird. It doesn't feel completely right saying, "Sure, let's go to that club opening..." but they do anyway, because they don't think they have a choice.

You: Oh man, that sounds awesome, though let me take a rain check on Motown! I'm all out of club juice in me lately. There is such a thing as too much clubbing, believe it or not... Well, check your schedule and let me know which day's good for you on grabbing a bite. I've got Wednesday and Thursday free at lunch time, and Saturday free right up until 8 o'clock - let me know if either works!

If the girl just wants you as a friend here, you'll get a negative response back on the date. She'll be "busy" those times, and try to reschedule for some other time (so she maintains the advantage and is in control - which is what she needs to be to friend zone you).

But, if she's on the fence, she'll come back and tell you one of those times works.

So basically I think it looks like you did the right thing... ignored the decoy and left it that you would meet up later in the week.

PS: I have fond memories of Perth from my visit way back in 1998, when I stayed with some really great folks in Fremantle. They asked me what I wanted to do and I insisted they take me to see the black swans! I also remember swimming in the Indian Ocean. It's such a remote place, I figure I'm glad I visited when I could... something everyone should try to do once!

 

[Richard]

Nick,

As always, nice and compact game. Very tight fundamentals

There is one thing that would gggrrreeeeaaattttllllyyyy benefit your pick up though, and that's adding a bit of nonverbal attraction/ communication.

Then you can say less, and everything you do say is magnified and more impact-ful.

Just a little something for you to mull over =P

-Richard

 

[Chase]

PD-

Awesome to see you cranking them out. I just skimmed and didn't get to read most of this yet, but noticed one thing and wanted to point it out:

Her: Are you walking this way?
Me: Actually, I'm walking that way. You wanna come with?
Her: No, actually, my _____ is over there! See ya!
Me: No worries, see ya!

For this kind of deal, where you've just met her and it's a make-or-break moment, you never want to ask her if she wants to come with you, because asking her turns it into a screen to test how into you she is (because she must now ask herself if she wants to go with you or not), instead of a compliance demand to get her staying with you through the transition point (because it's easier for her to just go with you).

Instead, you want to just say, "I'm heading this way. Come with me," in a kind of a soft, intriguing, "let's go on an adventure" tone of voice. She'll say no; you'll say, "Come with me for one block; and if you decide you hate me, you'll only have lost a few minutes," and just insist a few times. Doesn't always work, but when it does, you're VERY in.

Chase

 

[Grand Pooba]

Nick,

This is a great idea. I'm looking forward to seeing the progression over the days, and may do this myself. Keep it up!

 

[Verisimilitude]

One thing I noticed is that you (and a lot of guys myself included) aren't getting anything back after the icebreaker text. Anyone know what to do from there if she doesn't respond?

 

[Richard]

What's your icebreaker text look like?

 

[PrettyDecent]

Cheers for all the kind words fellas

Marty - That's wicked how you went to Perth, brother! Especially Fremantle...that's where I live, lol. Glad to hear you had a great time here . Thanks for the tip, too.

Zphix - Thanks for the kind words, Rich . I'm not sure where to start with nonverbals, though that would surely improve my game. I'll read some articles and incorporate them to my goals on Day 5/6, my friend.

Chase - Used that tip you gave me today, actually! It wasn't quite in the same context, but I made a compliance demand with Girl 3 instead of asking to move, and really does work much better. Cheers!

Ozz - Would be great to see that happen Already following your journal!

xcrunner - What do you mean "getting anything back" (like substantial investment?), exactly? And how often are you referring to? I text a minutes after the interaction to cement the good emotions. And I've never been on a date with a girl who didn't answer my icebreaker, ironically enough.

Day 3 -

So yesterday's lesson had to do with social momentum, and today's lesson was: Go out with 3 goals or else "can I get her to like me?" is the default goal...and that's bad! It definitely caused me to chase a few times I shouldn't have. Oh well! It means that I can do the opener and conversation on autopilot, and I can focus on improving more important things, like more fundamentals/nonverbals! Here's that article by Ricardus on overthinking. Incredibly insightful - https://www.girlschase.com/content/are-y ... erthinking.

To get a better "picture" of these interactions, here's a pic of what I wore: http://imgur.com/0hvSdh6

Anyways, got in this weird funk today, chasing like I was describing above, and I did like 20 approaches to try and rid it, but it was still lurking. Though, there were some fruitful prospects! So here are some of the highlighted interactions of today -

"Abby" -
Walking opposite, let her pass me, and then immediately turned back, walked up and opened usual. She looked a bit older than me, and was visibly interested (women ~27+ tend to make their interest very visible). I made sure to qualify her a few times, and such. I wish I remembered the in-person dialogue, but you can get a feel through the texts (giving time sig. here because it's a drastic here)-

Me 12:37 - Glad to have met you - Nicholas
Her 12:38 - oh hi You too! I think you are very brave.
Her 1:23 - I also think you might be quite a bit younger than me.
Me: 3:39 - But wait, I just graduated from middle school! Lol, no worries, Abby. You're really bubbly and feminine, I really like those qualities
Her 5:18 - That's sweet of you to notice! I think it's very brazen of you to approach a total stranger like that. I was feeling quite speechless! How old are you Nicholas? I'm 29
Me 5:53 - Hmm..old enough, young lady . But, hey, we ought to grab that bite to eat soon! Any ideas on your schedule?
Her 6:20 - Well this week I have a huge assignment to do it's hard to lock anything in. Plus I'm going down south this weekend, not the greatest timing! What do you have in mind?
Me 7:03 - No worries, Abby! School and whatnot. There's this fantastic little cafe in Perth I totally want to take you to! We'll see, I guess.

Thought I'd get another text from her, but no worries . I'll text her next week. Monday night probably, because I don't want to seem too eager, but I want to get that nailed down before life intervenes somehow.

"Mae" -
Saw a girl walking in front of me with a great, horizontal striped, black-and-white outfit that I thought was cute. Approached her, she seemed excited and a bit taken back. Got immediate compliance from her to move to a bench. But I started chasing, realized it, and then pulled back completely and let the conversation die out so she could ask another question. Instead of doing that she said, "Alright, well, I'm gonna to go now..." Thus describes the importance of not over-thinking, and listening to social intuition. I didn't try to stop her because I knew was in a chasing state, so I let her go. Next time, she'll have me .

"Jamie" -
This girl had a rocker, emo-type, artistic vibe I find especially appealing (ex-girlfriends, I suppose, but I digress...) so I felt compelled to open. Also pretty enthusiastic on the approach, gained compliance by moving the interaction, but my vibe was off still, so the conversation started to die down. I tried to arrange a date on the highest point possible but I got a "Maybe". Which means no, of course. I realized she hadn't left though, so I continued talking, and then actually got a high point of the conversation where I asked for her number. She seemed pretty happy by the time she left, and these were the text messages exchanged (i really did forget her name before I saved her number, lol!) -

Me 2:49 - Glad to have met you - Nicholas
Her 2:50 - It was lovely to meet you too!
Me 5:59 - Alright artsy gal, want to make sure I got this right...Jamie, was it?
Her 6:55 - Yes

I didn't realize she enthusiastically texted me back so soon until just right now, actually. Woops! Probably would've just scheduled the date immediately after that! Eh, I'll text her tomo morning and see how it goes

~Nick

 

[Verisimilitude]

xcrunner - What do you mean "getting anything back" (like substantial investment?), exactly? And how often are you referring to? I text a minutes after the interaction to cement the good emotions. And I've never been on a date with a girl who didn't answer my icebreaker, ironically enough.

My icebreaker text would be "Hey ___, nice to meet you -Xc "

I'm talking about meeting a girl, getting her number, sending the icebreaker text, and then getting no text response back. Do you just drop it, or do you text back later?

 

[Richard]

My icebreaker text would be "Hey ___, nice to meet you -Xc

XC,

Try an icebreaker like this:

"Hey ___, it's Richard,save my number!"

Send it a few hours after meeting her, its my icebreaker text of choice, and I know Tool uses the same one...

 

[Marty]

Hey Nick:

"Abby" and "Jamie" sound like promising prospects...

(women 27+ tend to make their interest very visible)

Can you expand on this? If there is anything else you want to add, of course!

-Marty

 

[PrettyDecent]

(women 27+ tend to make their interest very visible)

Can you expand on this? If there is anything else you want to add, of course!

-Marty

Perhaps this was a broad generalization, but the 3 most "aggressive" women I've met have been 29+. With girls in the 18-25 range, you've got to have game to get them out, and it's rather difficult. Rather, the first of these 3 women (32), I met during my Newbie Assignment, and she took ME out on an instant date to her favorite coffee shop, and told me we should meet up again. The second I met at a Casino(~33), and was giving me heavy hand-touching the first 3 minutes we were talking. The third is "Abby" (29), and she gave me investment in text I wouldn't get from any girl my own age.

Don't know if it's because I look young and so these women think I'm clueless on IOI's (as many my age really are!) and they have to make it blaringly obvious, but that's my experience .

~Nick

 

[Verisimilitude]

This isn't based on experience, but maybe girls 27+ are worried about their biological clocks? I feel like there's not much societal pressure on girls 18-25 to get hitched, but after 27, their moms start worrying about grand kids. Just a thought.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey all,

Had to take a break from the FR's for a little while because I hit a sticky point I needed to figure out! Basically, I was getting performance anxiety to making every girl like me, and the cure I found was in this article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/outco ... ssing-beat. Feels great to be back in the groove again .

Day 4

Girl 1 - "Maddy"

I always get social momentum at the bus stop; usually older people...but it helps so much to get thinking in the present! Anyways, head on the bus and I'm talking to a few older people when I see a small, red haired cutie walk on the bus. She got on and sat behind me a few seats. I couldn't figure out how to open her without it looking like I was chasing hardcore, until I heard a spraycan basically going nuts behind me. I look, and it's her, of course. I turn my head and say

Me: I knew your scheme... you're going to poison the whole bus!
Her: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Look at the bottle! *some sort of deodorant*
Me: Hmm..edgy. Just like your red hair and gauged earring! I like it.
Her: Thank you! I just dyed it red a couple days ago!
Me: I can see that! You were a brunette before.
Her: I was! -- Here, I'm gonna sit a closer! *I tried motioning her to my seat, but I don't think she saw, and moved to the seat directly behind me instead...which made it hard to talk with a deeper, sexy voice as I twisted my head back, lol*
Me: I'm Nick, by the way
Her: I'm Maddy! Nice to meet you!
Me: Yes, Maddy. So...*start talking about where she's from, if she's traveled, a few other things. This part of the conversation was rather bland, content-wise, but there was a lot of good EC and tension between both of us.*
(2 minutes later)
Me: So then..you do art, I assume?
Her: Yes! I'm an artist.
Me: Right on...so like painting, drawing, watercolors...?
Her: I do some painting! But mainly I draw. *pulls out her phone, I was a little thrown off here -- like she was about to start texting in the middle of our convo, or something! -- she shows me a picture of her drawing, instead*
Me: This was done by you? *giving her approving smile*
Her: Yes! I mainly draw animals! Like Tigers!
Me: And Lions and Bears?
Her: No, bears are really too difficult, actually! *she didn't get my Wizard of Oz joke...but no matter!*
*talk for another minute, but had to get her number REALLY quickly because the bus was at my stop, and didn't ask for date beforehand -- woops!*

Here's the text message convo after:

Me 5:57 - Glad to have met you - Nicholas
Her 6:01 - Great to meet u to -Maddy !! How was your treck to the city?!:$
Me 6:20 - Swell . You and I ought to grab a bite to eat soon! How's your schedule look?
Her 6:31 - Yes that sounds lovely definitly up for it! Although just so you know, I'm still in school!! *This made me slightly apprehensive -- but I'm only 18, and she looked at LEAST 16 or 17, which I wouldn't really complain about, anyways*

Me 6:47 - I'm not THAT old, sweetheart. . Sounds good! we'll figure it out.
Her 6:49 - HHahahahahaha :3 well there is this nice sushi train in vic park
Me 6:59 - Right on! I happen to have some free time around the 5ish area tomorrow. Work for you? *Now, note I usually never throw out times like that in lieu of not chasing, but her previous text was chasing me, so I wanted to reward her*

Her 7:34 - I got a BBQ tomorrow I'm kinda flat out busy but ill find a day where I'm free this week are you working ?! *This confused me. Trying to figure out if she wants to A.) Keep me talking to her on the phone or B.) Is interested to found out what sort of "catch" she got. Or maybe act as a provider? Not sure!*

Me 8:02 - Sounds perfect, Maddy! Working? Hmm...tell you in person
Her 8:33 - Like have a job?! what do u do
Me 9:09 - Love your persistence tell ya soon!
Her 9:09 - Mmmmmnnope I think you should tell me now

This girl is challenging me...but I'm rather enjoying it. It's a nice change of pace - and it'll make it that much better when I bed her

Girls 2-6: All Rejections

Still working on my game, admittedly. I've learned that either a girl is either into you, or she's not. She's going to give you compliance and let you do with her as you wish...or she's not. This has helped me feel OK with rejection, and not trying so hard to save an interaction when it's failing. That way, when you do find a girl who's interested in you, you won't be chasing her by default. And that's what leads to good results .

Girl 7 - "Anna"

Was talking to this Korean chick for a while. Grabbed her number, and got a "maybe" for some food this week. When I asked for her schedule, she said she was free on Monday and Tuesday. Thought that was giving mixed signals, since "maybe" almost always means "no". This was the (very short) text exchange:

Me 7:01 - Glad to have met you - Nicholas
Her 7:33 - Me too, hav a nice wkend Dude !

Next girl!

Girl 8 - "Ruby"

Saw this girl in pink and black playing with her phone on a ledge overlooking a crowded highway with some heavy construction. Walked up next to her and said

Me: Beautiful view, isn't it?
Her: Yes. It is!
Me: The construction. Cement. Cars. Beautiful. *don't think she was getting the joke, lol*
Her: It is.
*take out my phone for a brief second to appear a bit aloof after that exchange*

Me: So what brings you out here tonight?
*she starts talking, and we get into a conversation that was a bit hard to balance for me in terms of value vs. attainability and not chasing. It was juggling act for sure with her*

Can't remember much of the dialogue at this point, but I basically want to remind myself that I should let girls talk more in the future. There was a few times where I'd ask another question while she was going on for a while about the last one. I'll let them just keep talking without asking another question, and it'll do a loads good with looking more powerful. Excited to see those effects! This was the (also very short) text exchange after:

Me 8:22 - Glad to have met you - Nicholas
her 9:52 - yes nice to meet you too

And that was that for today! Oh, well, also set up a date with one of the girls from an earlier day of this FR-journal for Sunday, so wish me luck!

Would love to hear feedback, questions, or anything of the sort
~Nick