7 months after my breakup, still miss her. Get your ex back super system legit?

[Carpe-DM]

Hey guys. Short version of the story.

Got married to high school girlfriend for 17 years. The type of woman who wouldn't get a second date today
Went on solo vacation and discovered I was better off without her. Met a mind-blowing amazing woman from Chile. Got separated, and promptly blew it with Chile girl
Spend the next year getting smooth with women. Solid fundamentals and a quick learner. Had great results and was loving life
After a year, I meet a girl who's the best match for me that I've ever discovered. Become exclusive even though I'm not quite ready. Chile-girl comes probing back. I flirt with her over email to keep an iron in the fire to soften the blow in case my girlfriend leaves me. After 7 months or so, she discoveres this and sees it as an emotional affair.
I stop flirting with Chile girl (but foolishly stay in occasional platonic contact)
A year later she gradually goes cold. I start a popular thread here called Girlfriend gradually becoming uncomfortable with sex: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=10531&
Several months later, I lose my job. Decide to take a break and travel a bit as I have a ton saved up. I think she lost respect. She's diagnosed with Hashimotos, where her immune system attacks her thyroid. This makes her hormonal and thyroid. No prob- I'll take a few months while I wait out the few months for her to get treatment! Happy times.
She encourages me to travel (when I got out of the Air Force, I traveled the world for a year; now I'll do out-and-backs to spend time with my GF). Says "Go for it! Jealous, but I'd do it if I were you!". As soon as I buy my ticket, she flips. "Does this mean we're broken up!?"
Patch it up but on my trip she goes totally cold
A couple weeks in, she says she can't trust me. Says me flirtation 19 months before was an "emotional affair" (I can see why she thought so, but it was totally out of context; I was just being manipulative to keep Chile girl on the hook). She never let it go, but never mentioned it
I was devastated. I cried when I saw her. Couldn't keep it together. This is someone I was head-over-heals for, the happiest relationship of my life, I was totally misjudged, and her hormones were just about to get treated!
Fell into a deep depression for a couple of months. Went on vacation again and managed to hook up with another amazing woman (who's just not available). Climbed out of my depression a bit. Dated around a bit when I got home, but not like I did when I was first single
Now, 7 months later, I'm more or less exclusively dating a girl who's drop dead gorgeous, smart, easy to get along with, and dynamite in bed. It's not the same level of deep chemistry and connection though. I still find myself dreaming of my ex at night. I know we'd be together if she understood, and with her hormones sorted out, but she's never interested in starting a conversation. She's dating her own rebound guy at the moment. I weathered the storm, and someone else gets to enjoy her with her hormones sorted out.

I need to have some positive interactions to break her conditioning of convincing herself this was a great choice, and shutting down any interaction. I need some positive (or at least neutral) interactions with her. I need her to understand I was keeping someone on the hook- not having an emotional affair. And, I need to do this emotionally- rational explanation won't work on a woman under these circumstances.

Any ideas? I'm fresh out. Dan Bacon has some YouTube videos with some thought provoking info. He says you have to get her to see you've changed and legitimately forgive you to move forward. Of course, his suggestions for HOW to do this are $300. My BS detector is ringing, but I'm out of ideas. Does this guy just prey on the lovesick like me? Any other suggestions on how to get some positive interactions going?


http://store.themodernman.com/get_your_ ... ystem.html

 

[Richard]

Re: 7 months after my breakup, still miss her. Get your ex back super system le

I'll give you the tough advice, I myself, am currently taking. No matter how much I care about somebody or love them when I decide that they're doing more harm than good to me then I need to drop them and that's the point I'm reaching right now.

So, with my girlfriend, things were going amazingly until she had a medical issue take place and we lost our ability to have sex... and she took on more and more work in order to pay bills, keep her head above water, and handle the medical stuff and in doing so our ability to spend time together diminished but I've remained firmly by her side despite this. I've been there for her through all of this shit and I've weathered the storms.

Recently, I've had the suspicion that she was seeing somebody else which she acted confused about. I don't care if she is, I understand that attraction dies, etc. but I just wanted her to tell me the truth about it so I could move on with closure. I've had a lot of uncertainty about where her mind is at regarding me, the relationship, etc. and she hasn't had the time to talk to me about it (which is just an excuse) and basically through all of this I reached a point where I was convincing myself that "she is the one," "she is different," "she is unique," and I was convincing myself that what I felt couldn't be found with anybody else which is what it sounds like you're going through.

All of the "If she just did this, or understood this then things would be great!" is just an idea, a mentality, and an illusion that you're telling yourself. At the end of the day, if you're unhappy for whatever reason, if you're miserable because of what you put yourself through for her then you either need to a) get away from her or b) talk to her about it and resolve it.

In my case, I'm not so sure that this girl will give me option B anytime soon so I've set a boundary that if we don't talk and resolve this by October 1st then I am walking away; until then I've allowed myself to feel all the emotions that come with the bullshit I'm dealing with right now. So you, my friend, have the option of taking the approach I'm taking (one I've taken many times before by the way).

If this girl is causing you some stress, misery, and sleepless nights then you need to get away or talk to her. If she's not willing to talk to you then that's your answer and you walk away. Do this for both women; if your ex won't talk then walk away, if this new girl doesn't completely satisfy you then pursue other women until you find what you really want (which isn't your ex, by the way). It's not fair to you to feel miserable or unhappy over somebody who is being unreasonable, and it's not fair to any woman you meet from here on out because you don't have your own shit taken care of.

Overarching message: No girl is worth compromising your own happiness over and no girl is so unique, special, and "different" that you're alienated from finding happiness with somebody else.

It's a bitter pill to swallow but it takes so much weight off of your shoulders. I'm sorry that you're going through this but life goes on and you're the predominant force in shaping your life into what you want it to be so don't let anybody stop you from doing just that!

-Richard

 

[Fuck This]

Re: 7 months after my breakup, still miss her. Get your ex back super system le

If this girl is causing you some stress, misery, and sleepless nights then you need to get away or talk to her. If she's not willing to talk to you then that's your answer and you walk away. Do this for both women; if your ex won't talk then walk away, if this new girl doesn't completely satisfy you then pursue other women until you find what you really want (which isn't your ex, by the way). It's not fair to you to feel miserable or unhappy over somebody who is being unreasonable, and it's not fair to any woman you meet from here on out because you don't have your own shit taken care of.

Overarching message: No girl is worth compromising your own happiness over and no girl is so unique, special, and "different" that you're alienated from finding happiness with somebody else.

It's a bitter pill to swallow but it takes so much weight off of your shoulders. I'm sorry that you're going through this but life goes on and you're the predominant force in shaping your life into what you want it to be so don't let anybody stop you from doing just that!

-Richard

I made that decision back in March. In the last 6 months, I've had some unhappy times due to what the breakup involved, but along the way I discovered that there were women who would give me what my marriage lacked. I even went and wrote up a "Must have" and "deal breaker" list for future women. So far the new relationship gives me what I need. Sex, positive feedback, encouragement, and adventure. I'm in the "this is working for me" mindset. If one of those aspects goes away, then I go away.

 

[Carpe-DM]

Re: 7 months after my breakup, still miss her. Get your ex back super system le

Oh...I'm good with women and can find other women. The woman I'm dating right now is a model and very sweet. On the end of the trip where I was dumped over email, I said "fuck it; she thinks I'm fucking up a storm, so I will" and bedded four new women before I even got home...including one in an airport layover after I missed a flight. No girl is perfect, but this one was truly something special, and I felt she left me due to a misunderstanding (it wasn't an emotional affair, and I wasn't keeping my phone and computer locked to hide anything currently going on) exasperated by a severe hormonal imbalance.

Thank you for the thoughtful advice, Richard. Something I'll try to take to heart, but I still have to try at this point.


Also, anyone familiar with that "super system"?

 

[Parkour]

Re: 7 months after my breakup, still miss her. Get your ex back super system le

I kind of feel that you "need" her but that's the attraction killer. Your best bet to get her back is when you've directed that energy toward being a better you to the point that you don't need or even want her. You have to fill that hole first. Then you can lead.