A comment from "When Women Test Men" article.

[trashKENNUT]

Hi Guys,

I found this, and i understand he is trying to have empathy but i don't get it. I probably believe there are few, very few women who end up getting pregnant because of the jealousy tactic. But i just can't grasp him, what he's trying to convey.

I have lost count of the number of times women have tried to make me jealous with some other guy and I have always done the same thing - nothing.

It's actually quite amusing (unless it concerns a close friend and a wedge being driven between us) letting them enjoy the initial phases of their jealousy strategy, and then watching them gradually end up stuck with the guy they chose to use to try and make me jealous. I've had women end up getting pregnant to the jealousy tactic guy and still stuck years later tearing their hair out dealing with raising kids with some guy they can't even stand, all because of a stupid game they tried to play with someone who didn't even find them particularly appealing in the first place (and most of the girls who have tried this tactic with me have ranged from me not being attracted to them at all, to being only mildly interested).

In cases where I have actually had strong feelings for the young woman who unfortunately decided to resort to the jealousy tactic (which I am sometimes partially lay the blame with myself for as I like things to develop slowly with those who I feel are special and potentially 'the one', thus they get frustrated), as disappointed and heartbroken as I have been, I have just sat back and watched the same thing happen. I must say I've been tempted to intervene, but I could simply never ever allow myself to respond to this jealousy nonsense in any other way, and as soon they choose to go down that path they're a write-off, no matter how strong the feelings I had for them were. I will let them die.

To all those who say things like 'you must move fast or you will lose that woman to somebody else', 'no good woman will wait about' etc., I would say that women have minds and feelings of their own and aren't passive, fickle little barbie dolls who need to be chased, persuaded and stolen from somebody else. They can either feel it in their gut if they find a particular man is special or they can't, and if they choose to move onto another man because they feel the guy they want is not moving fast enough for them without trying to communicate with him in any way, then they immediately make a very foolish and often irreparable move in a potentially wonderful relationship. So to any guy who has been in this situation, and there are many as so many women clearly choose this idiotic path, you have not 'missed the boat', not lost a good woman - just identified one that isn't of value. Whereas she, on the other hand, has destroyed a potentially lifelong partnership over a completely irrational maneuver.

I also find it hard to comprehend how so many women actually believe this nonsense that if a man really wants them he will chase after them and tell them no matter what. A man with an attitude to jealousy tactics as outlined above for instance will stick to his principles and never bend in such circumstances. But aside for that, there could be literally thousands of reasons why a man may be reluctant to approach a woman he has deep feelings for and spill his heart out - ranging from him having something as serious as a terminal illness, to him having gotten excessively concerned about something which isn't even a problem at all. In situations like this, once again, it's the woman who chooses to act irrationally and in haste that ultimately loses. How can anyone logically argue otherwise if a woman chooses to act in this way without even attempting communication?

Bottom line guys - If a woman chooses to try and manipulate you with some stupid game just watch her play it on her own and then watch her ultimately end up stewing in her own juice/mess of her own making. And if a woman who you thought was special jumps to someone else (often a part of the jealousy tactic itself) and demonstrates she feels you weren't worth waiting for (or at least wants you to think that), then she has ultimately only demonstrated that she wasn't good enough for you.

Zac

 

[Franco]

Zac,

I think I remember reading this comment awhile ago -- it seems familiar. It's pretty convoluted and he doesn't get his point across well until he summarizes it at the very end.

In regards to his tactic about ignoring the games, it's actually quite true. You always want to maintain a dominant, unfazed frame around women, ESPECIALLY when they're trying to be coy with you. The trick here is knowing when to cut contact when the games become "too much" so that you don't appear to be chasing her. Recognizing when this point comes take some experience, but Chase has some great pointers for beginners in I Don't Chase 'Em, I Replace 'Em.

However, he seems to have a pretty negative opinion of women who play games and sees them as "not good enough for you" when in reality, if she's playing TOO many games with you, it MOST likely means that you've just played along WAY too much. She wants the guy who WON'T play along with her games, and if you find her causing you to chase her too much, then she's essentially won the frame battle and slotted you into orbiter territory. Basically, she was too good for YOU.

Women who are more experienced than you will often send you down this route, but once you become pretty advanced and have an abundance of women in your life, it's difficult for women to have any control over you whatsoever because you aren't desperate to have them -- which in turn, makes them desperate to have you. =)

- Franco

 

[trashKENNUT]

Franco,

it MOST likely means that you've just played along WAY too much. She wants the guy who WON'T play along with her games, and if you find her causing you to chase her too much, then she's essentially won the frame battle and slotted you into orbiter territory. Basically, she was too good for YOU.

I do not know about this one. i played along with games some women play and i saw what happen. But there are just women who are ball teasers. For advanced women, i am not so sure about the whole thing. If they send you to go this route, wouldn't they not like you? Advanced women friendzone guys early and play games with guys they don't like. So i believe playing a little bit here n there when you infront of social circles is one thing. Texting her is to meet is another problem.

Zac

 

[Improvementalist]

I think that whether a woman's trying to make a man jealous is not always so clear, and this is simply because we may not know the womans true intentions

Let's take example A.

You know a girl who's showed IOI's towards you. You could even say there's some sexual tension going on, though this has not been resolved.

This girl then continues to pick up and make out with men while you are in the same place (a bar for example), some times when you are almost in front of her.

Of course one could ask now, "You are almost next to her and there has been sexual tension going on? Why aren't you making the move?

This is a very good question, but let's not go into that, right now at least.

Rather, I'm going to pose the question, is this girl trying to make you jealous, or is this girl relieving her sexual tension and at the same time the sexual frustration she has for you by making out with a random guy? Meaning there's no jealousy-making motices in the background

Example B.

A girl who I know vaguely has been showing IOI's, and I've kind of been giving the same things back to her. One day, she happens to sit next to me during a lecture break. A woman happens to walk past us and happens to carry a blue rose with her.

"You know what I would really want? A blue rose. Like that one over there.

For some reason this was a total turnoff for me. First, I thought she was trying to take me to the "buyer's the chaser"-thing, and also it felt like a totally material thing to ask from me.

I knew she was testing me and implicated that she wanted me to buy her this rose. But why would I buy her such a thing? She hasn't shown she's worthy to get one from me.

So I played cool and instead of saying something like, "You want me to get one for you?", I said, "You do know there is a shop here in the city which sell blue roses?"

I didn't sexually frame the answer with, "You do know there are better things in the world such as blue roses? (Things you do not just see, but also experience.), or try the, "There's this shop somewhere around which sells those. Let's go there right now and get one for you."


Later the same week I was scrolling our student groups Facebook-group, where we students can have all sort of bantering and other things.

This girl sent a picture message with, "Look what I got!", and with a blue rose in the picture.

Elizabeth asked, "Where did you get that from?". The girl simply answered mysteriously, ""

It was no mystery where the girl had gotten it, for there is this orbiter guy who hangs out with her quite often. One time they even sent a pair photo of each other to the FB-group.

Now, what I think is that the girl treats this guy as "the shopper guy" and potential bf-material, but the guy is inactive in making a move. He having multiple other girls around his finger might have something to do with it. Instantly when he makes a girl as her actual partner, the other girls may vanish. Or at least this is my theory.

So the guy simply keeps the present situation as a status quo.

Of course the girl's message was a socially qualificational implication. "See? There's a man in my life who buys me nice things."

But was it a message implicitly pointed towards me? "See what I got and from whom?". Thus, was she trying to make me jealous?

Anyways, the way I saw it was, "Okay. So you chose another guy to do the shopping act. Good for you!"

I do have to admit that I was actually quite close in falling for this, with thoughts like, "Damn.. Am I losing this girl? Do I want to lose her?"

But I quickly cleared my head, thinking nothing more of it than a girl sending a general message with social qualification, and that there's a guy in her life who's investing in her.


Comments are welcome.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Improvementalist,

You know a girl who's showed IOI's towards you. You could even say there's some sexual tension going on, though this has not been resolved.

This girl then continues to pick up and make out with men while you are in the same place (a bar for example), some times when you are almost in front of her.

Of course one could ask now, "You are almost next to her and there has been sexual tension going on? Why aren't you making the move?

This is a very good question, but let's not go into that, right now at least.

Rather, I'm going to pose the question, is this girl trying to make you jealous, or is this girl relieving her sexual tension and at the same time the sexual frustration she has for you by making out with a random guy? Meaning there's no jealousy-making motices in the background

What you mentioning here is Club Queen.

Of course the girl's message was a socially qualificational implication. "See? There's a man in my life who buys me nice things."

But was it a message implicitly pointed towards me? "See what I got and from whom?". Thus, was she trying to make me jealous?

Anyways, the way I saw it was, "Okay. So you chose another guy to do the shopping act. Good for you!"

I do have to admit that I was actually quite close in falling for this, with thoughts like, "Damn.. Am I losing this girl? Do I want to lose her?"

But I quickly cleared my head, thinking nothing more of it than a girl sending a general message with social qualification, and that there's a guy in her life who's investing in her.

You can joke to her next time about him carrying your bags when you go out on a date together, if it feels right. But nevertheless, you didn't budge or fazed much by her antics. So it's good.

Zac