A failed escalation? What now?

[Ergon]

After promising in my journal that I wouldn't write any more reports until I got at least one LR first, I come back proudly with a LR- that happened early today. My first LR- (I only had a LR-- before)

I think I'll write a longer one over the week. Meanwhile, I want a give the skinny on it because I might need some advice.

The short of it is that I met this girl on social circle (dance classes, which is kind of my social circle). This is the girl described in: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=13360

I failed to invite her home the first time. I auto-rejected and disappeared for a while. However I later returned to a different class and built some preselection (very pretty female friends). Moreover I started the 30 day challenge to become an attractive men, by Darius a few weeks ago: (http://sexystyleforjoe.com/30-day-chall ... for+Joe%29)

Highly recommended because I gained confidence, compliments and even got approached by two girls in the span of a few week of focusing on my fundamentals.

This resulted in the aforementioned girl asking me out for some coffee after briefly chatting her at the studio again (and seeing me flirting with cute girls).

The date went great, we got coffee and then a beer at a nearby bar. We left the bar and then she drove me home, wanted to just drop me, but I guided her to join me for a drink at mine .

We kissed first and then I took her to my room, no LMR. Clothes fell off fast. Unfortunately I got something like whiskey dick or similar and I couldn't get it to work. This was a pretty hot girl and really sexy too, but with the condom first and then she blowing me without it, I just couldn't still. I don't know if I ever gave her an O or she just got tired the first time.

I tried again, but after a while her legs got tired and I needed to use the toilet. When I came back she was dressed and she parted after kissing me good night.

So… Now I don't know what's next…

Was she disappointed? Is this a failed escalation and now I can only hope to be a friend to her? Should a plan a date again (after this two disillusions)?

The other factors is that I'll see her again in four days at the studio.
She is also older than me (for 5 years) and she knows it. I was supposed to lost my V-car but no (she doesn't know that though).

So what do you guys think will happened now? Should I text her or just wait to see her in person and gauge her reaction? Any feedback appreciated.

 

[brandoan95]

Hey Ergon,

You did everything right you just got performance anxiety. The same thing happened to me when I was in the same position as you. I had this girl hot and horny, us giving each other oral sex but my dick couldn't get hard. You were probably thinking about how you "needed to please her and give her a good time" and you weren't focused on being in the moment. What I used to move past this problem was looking up ways to get over my performance anxiety.

You should text her saying you had a good time with her and then a few days later try to set up another date. Her leaving when u went to the bathroom, my bet is that she was disappointed that you hadn't penetrated her fully. Chase wrote an article on this awhile back and I highly recommend you read it https://www.girlschase.com/content/we-are-not-having-sex-tonight-what-happens-when-you-don-t.

My advice is to not dwell on this, find the root of your performance anxiety and proactively try to fix it. Just text her and see if she's still responding well and if she isn't move on. As far as seeing her at dance act the same way you did before this and if she's acting awkward just talk to other people.
Hope this helps -biz

 

[Ergon]

Thanks brandoan95.
I sent her a text and she replied well.

"Had a nice time last night. Hope you're not too tired "
"Me too, I'm tired but I got to bed at an okey time, just was up after that for some reason. Hope you slept well and you're having a good day"
"Yeah, slept my eight hours"

I waited 3 days then, to see her at studio and gauge her reaction, but she wasn't there that day. I sent her a text telling with:

"Hey X, i didn't see you today, hope you're doing all right there"
"Hi, I got sick this week so I couldn't make it. Instead I went to bed early"
"Oh, the flu? Hope you get better"
"Nah it was a cold but I needed the night off so I could sleep. Been a long week"
"Ah, well take care then"

I interpreted this as she probably didn't want to see me?.. Anyway, I didn't contact her again. I just saw her this week (one week after last text), in person. She said hi, I said hi. We joked about something in the class and that was it.

I really don't know. I'm seeing the texts now and seems she was warm towards me but I was thinking she wouldn't want to see me again because of the bad sex...
And now because of all the time that I let pass, she'll probably not be interested anymore.

It's kind of sad and I makes me disappointed with myself because I failed with something that shouldn't have been an issue. So I'll take a break from the social circle to not see her again for a while. I've also gone out to meet other girls lately and that has kind of helped me cope with it.
Thanks again for the reply!