A few questions about going out to meet women

[Bboy100]

Hey guys,

For today, I have a few questions regarding going out specifically to meet women:

1. How many approaches do you guys usually do on average? How many is a reasonable amount to expect of myself as a beginner. Obviously the more the better. I'm asking because I'm only doing 5 or 6 approaches per an outing. I'm not sure if this is normal or if I'm halfassing it.

2. When using direct or indirect direct openers, on what do you usually compliment girls so it stands out. I've noticed that if I just tell her she's wearing a nice shirt or w.e, she usually just says "thanks". Clearly, she's heard this 100 times. Whereas, when I compliment her on her tattoos and begin talking about them, she seems a lot more receptive and intrigued by me. So clearly, specifics matter. The issue is that not every girl seems to have something specific which I like. Oftentimes, I just think the girl's cute. I don't necessarily think she has one particular feature which stands out. This often creates a problem when trying to create a genuine compliment.

3. I'm a breakdancer (hence my username!). Obviously, this can be a great form of peacocking at dance clubs. Any ideas of how to use it/incorporate it into my process?

4. Speaking of process, how do you guys decide when to move onto the next step. For now, my process is as follows:
Preopen/Open>Repartee>Rapport> Move her>Rapport>Chase/Sexual Framing>Close
For dates its:
Meet her>Repartee>Rapport>Chase/Sexual Framing>Close.

The issue is, I have no idea when to move onto the next step. In particular, I'm unsure of when to move on from Rapport to Chase/Sexual framing and from Chase/Sexual framing to closing. This has been a HUGE sticking point for me. I've lost a lot of girls going out on dates and a few at parties because I'm unsure of transitioning points.

5. As of right now, I've usually been having 2 drinks before I go out...just enough to get me tipsy. This seems to have been pretty effective. What do you guys think? Is being tipsy conducive to seduction, or should I always go completely sober.

6. On groups: What kind of openers do you guys use? Do you approach them the same way you would approach a girl alone? For example, I just came back from an outing (got my second phone number via cold approach ever!), and there were several really cute girls, but they were all in a circle around their friends, completely immersed in conversation the whole time. Any ideas on how to approach groups like those effectively?

7. What kind of goals do you guys normally set for yourself when you go out? How do you decide what they should be? More specifically, which type of goal would be better? One which requires that I attempt something, or one that require I produce a certain result?

Ex. Request 2 phone numbers vs Get 2 phone numbers

The reason I ask is because in one case, its completely in my control whether or not I achieve the goal. With the other, it seems whether or not I complete my task for the night is partially dependent on the environment. Still though, if I do enough approaches, I feel like I would get the two phone numbers no matter what. Conversely, as I become better and my tasks become harder (ex. Bring a girl home) it may not matter how many approaches I do. I could just have a bad night and that's that. What do you guys think?

 

[Man-O]

1. I've yet to do regular daygame but the more concentrated your approaches the easier it is adjusting from mistakes due to remembering better and being in mostly the same state. My avg. in night game is 10. Sometimes I'm with friends and it's way lower and other times it's much higher.

2. Think it was described in an article but you can amp it up a bit like this. Give a few words like this and that matches well.

3. Dancing is a great way to peacock. Got no experience with break dancing however.

4. I've stopped focusing on when to move to which state as I get too much in my head. Instead move to what you and what she seems open for depending on how well you know each other. It more depends on what she and you feel like, than some particular program. Focus on making it fluent and fun, and always keep moving forward, and try to move forward when you usually wouldn't to know where the limit is. A lot of people are moving too slow (myself included). Taking risks and getting failures is winning.

5. You don't have to drink. I drink a lot of water and a few beers just to have something in my hand and opening girls up with "cheers".

6. "I fancy one of you" glances each of them with alluring eyes "guess who " and they'd all go pointing each other. I think in big groups it's paramount to isolate a girl immediately as the risk of cb is very high.
"Cheers" is also a good one followed by a sentence of something that matches them or you feel like saying. Remember, you don't have to engage whole the group and it's bad for you and your target. Any case, big groups are a lot of work and in my experience less productive.

7. Small sticking points. Lately it's been my eyes. Keeping track of ppl from the corner of my eyes, so noticing the girls who notice me. Squenching. Leading and sexual frame. Go read 1-5 articles and head out. Then if there's something I feel lacking I read an article once or twice again. Write feedback in your journal, which in my eyes is more important than writing loads of detail in your log.
Sometimes I may try to get as many numbers as I can or force myself to a new opener. But most importantly I set these goals and try to do them as best I can when I'm out. Can't initiate sex-talk? I read articles about it. Focus on some of it as there's a lot and force msyelf to a specific goal called "start a sex story".

But yea, sometimes it's very hard acquiring a goal such as getting 10 n-closes or w.e. when there are few out on a wednesday night and then you just have to say next time or focus on plan B.

 

[ray_zorse]

1. How many approaches do you guys usually do on average? How many is a reasonable amount to expect of myself as a beginner. Obviously the more the better. I'm asking because I'm only doing 5 or 6 approaches per an outing. I'm not sure if this is normal or if I'm halfassing it.

I would go higher. Set yourself a goal of 10 approaches. Another good way to do it is to spend a couple of hours approaching in the afternoon, see if you can do say 15~20, and then take a break for dinner, and then go out to a bar or club for the evening and try to do another 15~20 approaches. If you do it like this, you get very warmed up and it helps a lot. However, there is a radically different approach that also works very well, especially after you've gained a little experience by mass approaching: How to defeat approach anxiety forever.

2. When using direct or indirect direct openers, on what do you usually compliment girls so it stands out. I've noticed that if I just tell her she's wearing a nice shirt or w.e, she usually just says "thanks". Clearly, she's heard this 100 times. Whereas, when I compliment her on her tattoos and begin talking about them, she seems a lot more receptive and intrigued by me. So clearly, specifics matter. The issue is that not every girl seems to have something specific which I like. Oftentimes, I just think the girl's cute. I don't necessarily think she has one particular feature which stands out. This often creates a problem when trying to create a genuine compliment.

Often it's not the specific thing you compliment her on, but how you go about it, for instance if it's a street stop, how dominant you are, and so on... how is your eye contact as you deliver the compliment? Always make sure you put some expression in your words: "I could not help but notice your sweater, you look fabulous!". This will make it harder for her to say "thanks". Also another tip is to immediately follow up with an introduction, avoiding the awkward "thanks", although I don't always do this.

But as to the compliment itself, you will build up a library of things you can say pretty quickly, it's basically a matter of being genuine, I mean what is it that you notice about a girl? For me, it's often her colour scheme (I love girls in black-and-white outfits, or say black-and-white with one accessory, e.g. a pink bag or a fur-lined hood), or like a bright red coat or polka dots or something. The more it jumps out at you, the more "legitimate" your excuse for stopping her and commenting on it, I suppose.

A useful standby is "I saw you walking there, and I could not help but notice how amazingly cute you are, and I wanted to introduce myself. I'm Bboy100"... I try not to use this too much, especially on the college campus, because it's pretty direct and also I suppose it has the feeling of a canned line especially if I've used it at lot that day. It would also be a bit of a nightmare if you re-approached the same girl by accident (this happens to me a bit), she'd obviously realize you say the same thing to all girls.

3. I'm a breakdancer (hence my username!). Obviously, this can be a great form of peacocking at dance clubs. Any ideas of how to use it/incorporate it into my process?

See if you can get a dance battle going with some other breakdance enthusiast(s).

4. Speaking of process, how do you guys decide when to move onto the next step. For now, my process is as follows:
Preopen/Open>Repartee>Rapport> Move her>Rapport>Chase/Sexual Framing>Close
For dates its:
Meet her>Repartee>Rapport>Chase/Sexual Framing>Close.

The issue is, I have no idea when to move onto the next step. In particular, I'm unsure of when to move on from Rapport to Chase/Sexual framing and from Chase/Sexual framing to closing. This has been a HUGE sticking point for me. I've lost a lot of girls going out on dates and a few at parties because I'm unsure of transitioning points.

You just know. Experience brother. Yes, moving too slowly is a big problem for inexperienced seducers. But if you just analyze all your interactions and think "I could have moved faster, should have moved her at XXX point"... then eventually you stop repeating the same mistakes. As it is now, a clock is always ticking in my mind, I don't even think about it, a little voice just says in my mind "Okay, time to move her". When you do enough of something, it becomes an automatic part of who you are (like driving). In the meantime, just make a focus on a certain thing... "I'm going to focus on moving her at the right time"... you might try it too early a few times, until you get a feel for it.

5. As of right now, I've usually been having 2 drinks before I go out...just enough to get me tipsy. This seems to have been pretty effective. What do you guys think? Is being tipsy conducive to seduction, or should I always go completely sober.

No it's never conducive to seduction, at best it's harmless, but even if it helps you loosen up, well all you're really doing is training your brain that it can only seduce when in the loosened up state. As a matter of principle and to test your willpower, try going out and drinking only soda water the whole night. You won't miss it, I promise. Especially if you're doing one of my marathon approaching sessions where I go out for daygame, followed by night street game, followed by nightgame, etc, for 12+ hours. The alcohol helps in the beginning, but eventually contributes to tiredness, hangover, low mood etc... if you want to be in it for the long haul, then it's best to think ahead.

6. On groups: What kind of openers do you guys use? Do you approach them the same way you would approach a girl alone? For example, I just came back from an outing (got my second phone number via cold approach ever!), and there were several really cute girls, but they were all in a circle around their friends, completely immersed in conversation the whole time. Any ideas on how to approach groups like those effectively?

Some girls just aren't ripe for an approach, if they're clearly having an intimate catchup with a friend or friends they're always going to tell you to fuck off so they can continue having their intimate catchup with their friend or friends (I collected a blowout tonight for exactly this reason)... so check their body language, open or closed?
It can be a good idea to approach a girl while her friend or friends is at the bar or in the toilets, as it gives you a few minutes to establish a rapport before the others get back. At any rate, an option is always to just approach your target and ignore the rest of the group, it might not be that calibrated, but if she's into you, she's into you.

7. What kind of goals do you guys normally set for yourself when you go out? How do you decide what they should be? More specifically, which type of goal would be better? One which requires that I attempt something, or one that require I produce a certain result?

Ex. Request 2 phone numbers vs Get 2 phone numbers

The reason I ask is because in one case, its completely in my control whether or not I achieve the goal. With the other, it seems whether or not I complete my task for the night is partially dependent on the environment. Still though, if I do enough approaches, I feel like I would get the two phone numbers no matter what. Conversely, as I become better and my tasks become harder (ex. Bring a girl home) it may not matter how many approaches I do. I could just have a bad night and that's that. What do you guys think?

Doesn't matter. Just have a plan in mind. Whatever you've been struggling with lately (why your previous approaching session or date didn't get results), address it. Be creative. Although I suppose based on your example you'd probably want to set goals based on things you can control, rather than things that depend on how she reacts. Remember you're a total badass and you're out there to amuse yourself, you should be pretty much unreactive to anything she says or does. So don't make that a goal.

Anyway, they're just the random thoughts that occurred to me as I read your message. There's really no set way of doing things. Hope it helps though.

Ray

 

[Bboy100]

Hey guys. Sorry about the late reply. I was in San Diego for the past few days.

Ray, I tried not drinking when I went out this Saturday. And it was interesting. I was able to approach (although I'm back to being very jittery/shaky voiced when I do. lol). But what I noticed was that without alcohol, it was difficult for me to have the feeling of having fun. Like, I went into cold calculating "What do I say to get her to do x or y with me" as opposed to "What can I do to have fun in my interactions". And it showed. Girls seemed a little creeped out by me that night. Although this also might have been because I didn't really feel like going out at all...I honestly felt like I was gonna fall asleep on the car ride there.
At any rate, what this tells me is that you're right, I was relying on alcohol to bring results. Not good. I'm gonna take your advice and go completely sober from now on until I feel relaxed and am able to have fun.

"I fancy one of you" glances each of them with alluring eyes "guess who " and they'd all go pointing each other.

This seems like it would be fun. How do you normally follow it up?