A Few Questions From A Newbie

[IHeartWomen]

Hey all.

First I would like to say I am super glad I found this website as it has already started answering a lot of questions I had just by reading the hot topic articles. However, I am seeking some more personal advice to my everyday situations.

I work in NYC so I take the train daily to work. Every morning on my way to work and on my way home I am subject to AT LEAST 5-6 beautiful women. If I stay in Soho where I work for more than 5 minutes (lol) there is bound to be even more that pass me. With this kind of exposure, I don't even see a need to go ANYWHERE. If I could master approaching these women I could easily line up my weeks with dates galore! Now, I wouldn't say I am amazing looking, but I am usually told I am very good looking. I have always had beautiful girlfriends and have dated beautiful women, but I must say I am a bit overly critical of myself. People tend to say I am really funny, so sometimes it makes me believe it isn't my looks that are good, it is my personality and so on. All I know is, I have a pretty good success rate when I approach women but have had problems with sudden texting stops and recently when I went out with a SUPER HOT girl, after a few dates she started to blow me off. Now, the reason I think this is isn't because of me, but because I recently came out of a 4 year relationship and I am VERY RUSTY. I am a 27 year old male.

With that said, I'd like to know how I can get myself back in the game here. I want to approach these women on the subway and on the street and have the courage to just walk up to them, but I don't know how to open. I have been reading a few of the articles but wanted something more direct to my situation. Also, and this is the one I am most curious about--I can SWEAR certain girls are looking over at me a lot, but when I try to catch them it is like they are PROFESSIONAL lookers. Sometimes I even see their eyes move away SUPER FAST. Another big thing that is BOGGLING MY MIND, is sometimes I will see a pretty girl and I won't let her notice I see her (like one of the tips) and make my way to where she is standing waiting for the train. I will get there and then she will start WALKING THE OTHER WAY. It's almost obvious. Now, I don't want to seem like a stalker and follow her so I don't move. This used to make me feel like maybe these women don't think I'm so amazing looking as I think they do but then again, I feel like if I wasn't as such they wouldn't move at all. They wouldn't even notice me there.

Anyway, what is causing this to happen? Are they expecting me to follow? Do they feel like they don't look good that day? Any help would be great! Thanks all.

 

[Richard]

Welcome to the boards man, and congrats on your success thus far.
As far as your rusty game, it's completely fine, and after a few interactions you'll suddenly find yourself picking up your old game with no problems, it's not something you should force yourself to remember, as you will unconsciously remember your game in no time.
As far as the women who look your way then walk away, my guess would be they are shy, and that you may have an assertive, magnetic vibe to you that girls are too shy to know how to handle, as, some girls have told me that is the reason they would walk away from me lately. Eventually however, with persistence, they "man" up and decide to stick around to find that conversating was not so bad, and they were actually more attracted after finding out they were initially wrong about their fear. So, do not follow her, and do not chase, if you see these girls on a semi-regular basis, patience becomes a virtue, and it's only a matter of time until they stick around and talk.
Good luck man,
RICHARD =)

 

[IHeartWomen]

Welcome to the boards man, and congrats on your success thus far.
As far as your rusty game, it's completely fine, and after a few interactions you'll suddenly find yourself picking up your old game with no problems, it's not something you should force yourself to remember, as you will unconsciously remember your game in no time.
As far as the women who look your way then walk away, my guess would be they are shy, and that you may have an assertive, magnetic vibe to you that girls are too shy to know how to handle, as, some girls have told me that is the reason they would walk away from me lately. Eventually however, with persistence, they "man" up and decide to stick around to find that conversating was not so bad, and they were actually more attracted after finding out they were initially wrong about their fear. So, do not follow her, and do not chase, if you see these girls on a semi-regular basis, patience becomes a virtue, and it's only a matter of time until they stick around and talk.
Good luck man,
RICHARD =)

Hmm, interesting. Only sucky part is that when I don't approach a girl I kick myself in the ass in these situations because contrary to what you said, I do not really see the same one twice. What is a good tell sign I can look for in situations like this that may signify she is hoping I will approach her? Also, how do you handle approaching women when there spectators? I often find there are other people waiting for the train as well and I do not want her to feel uncomfortable like I am pressuring her.

I had something I wanted to try. I call it the "three question opener". Walk up to a woman, say "Hey, excuse me but can I ask you a few questions?". I figure this may take her by surprise when I ask

1.) Do you have a boyfriend?
2.) Do you find me attractive?
3.) (if yes or I guess) Well then what is stopping us from hanging out sometime?

What you think? What are your suggestions for a good work commute opening? I feel like I should go for the "Direct Opener".

 

[Richard]

Mannnnn you sound alot like my friend Josh who approaches women with roughly the same opener, and it gets him decent results as well.
However, in your 3 question approach, change the way you frame your questions, ask open ended questions instead of yes and no questions. Because, when a girl says no once, she is more likely to say no again. Also, instead of asking a girl if she has a boyfriend, instead do as Ricardus has suggested, ask her if she is single in an authoritative tone, it will throw her off and will force her to rethink her response. My friend Josh does the relatively same opening as I've said, and it tends to work for him, it's not really my style however.
As for dealing with spectators, don't use your 3 question approach, instead make light conversation that isn't out of the ordinary, but slowly start to creep into a deep dive, the smooth transition will take her mind off the spectators because she will have been engaging in light conversation already, and will have become quite open to further conversation. For example, when I was in Chicago I had a conversation on the train go something like:
Me: "This is quite the crazy commute, I can hardly keep my balance."
Girl : "Yeah, thankfully I've gotten used to the train, riding to work everyday will do that."
Me: " You look like your dressed for the beach, not for work." (Popping her right shoulder sleeve.)
Girl : "Well today is one of those raaaarrrreeeee days! I think it's called a day off."
Me: "Ohhhh, I've heard about those! Never experienced one myself, you're so lucky!"
Girl: (Smiled playfully) "Yeah, I guess I am, anyway, I was at the beach today."
Me: "The beach eh? Probably scoping out all the hot guys right?"
Girl : "Nah, but enough of them were checking me out."
Me: "Can you blame them, I mean look at you! If we weren't in a train...."
Girl: "Yeah... I'm all ears." (smiled playfully again)
Me: "Ohhh, dont worry about it, so anyway, what kind of place does this train take you to on your way to work?"
Girl: "Well, I work at..."
Conversation continued, see how I transitioned from shooting the breeze into a more of a deep dive at the end by inquiring about her work, I later found out that she had a middle position in the company, was originally born in Italy, and moved to chicago when she was 6, and alot more.
As far as being on the train and receiving IOI's, or indicators of interest, girls will generally give you a few signals that she's interested. If she is facing sideways at first, and positions her body more frontally towards you, if she smiles at you, or stares for a few seconds, after looking at you, if she messes with her hair. These are the biggest signals to look for, and I bet now that you know them, you should notice them a bit more.
If you have any more questions feel free to pm me, or send a reply.

 

[Ross]

Hello to you IHeartWomen,

I work in NYC so I take the train daily to work.

I've never personally worked train game, but its easy enough to predict scenarios based off the situation. An indirect direct approach works well, as Zphix suggested, because she is locked into conversation and often wishing she got into a conversation with an attractive man. Strike up a conversation, be playful, flirty, sexual, and get the number of each and every woman that you see. Have only 1 minute? Go up to her and have a 60 second conversation. Avoid excuses and go for the kill.

Also, and this is the one I am most curious about--I can SWEAR certain girls are looking over at me a lot, but when I try to catch them it is like they are PROFESSIONAL lookers. Sometimes I even see their eyes move away SUPER FAST. Another big thing that is BOGGLING MY MIND, is sometimes I will see a pretty girl and I won't let her notice I see her (like one of the tips) and make my way to where she is standing waiting for the train. I will get there and then she will start WALKING THE OTHER WAY. It's almost obvious. Now, I don't want to seem like a stalker and follow her so I don't move. This used to make me feel like maybe these women don't think I'm so amazing looking as I think they do but then again, I feel like if I wasn't as such they wouldn't move at all. They wouldn't even notice me there.

I wouldn't worry too much about the looking. As for the walking away, if I had to guess, these women might have their deflectors up to avoid a bunch of men approaching them on the train. I say persist and approach them even if they appear to walk away from you. Utilize pre-opening techniques such as verbally calling them so that they turn around and/or lightly squeezing them on the shoulder, and then go for a direct opener of intent. Here's a great article to read on direct openers: https://www.girlschase.com/content/book ... ect-opener

And, a tip for the sake of practice, don't always approach the most beautiful woman in the train. There may be a 9 in the train who is caught up in her own world and has her deflectors on, but if you are just getting into the knack of things and she blows you out of the water it may discourage you from approaching. Instead, approaching a 7 who is sitting nearby and in a positive mood would be a more uplifting experience.

The only other thing I would recommend is forcing yourself to approach a woman whenever you are on your way to work, and whenever you are on your way home. No matter how you feel, or how low the population of women, approach and learn. Good luck out there.