A future in which bachelors in their 30s won't be so lonely?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Typically your average male bachelor after the age of 30 starts to feel a bit lonely, jaded, and very left out of society. I mean sure, the sex is great but it sucks to see so many of your friends getting married off left to right and then realizing that you are an oddball for not going down that path. I read stories online from so many 30 somethings and it is usually involving wife, kids, and all of that.

As a 30 something bachelor, you're left in a rough situation. Be the tag along to other married couples or make "younger" friends in their 20s who will eventually see you as an oddball for being around them so much.

Yet the modern trends have me somewhat optimistic, thinking that the guys who will be in their 30s tomorrow will have different circumstances than guys who were in their 30s a decade ago.

With marriage rates going down, people becoming more laid back on morals, and bachelors in their 30s starting to become more common; I feel like the future is going to be different for guys who are single in their 30s and chase women. With spread of game, so many late bloomers finding that they don't have to get married, so many people not seeing marriage as important as it was, and casual sex becoming so commonly accepted; starting to think we're heading somewhere special.

You're going to have:

1 - More social opportunities for friendships, brotherhood, and social life for these guys, you might even have fraternity type of clubs for guys in their 30s. I won't be surprised if a group of players came together, joined teams, put their resources into one group, and ended up having a life where they throw events that a lot of women come to (man can dream right?).

2 - Things like partying in your 30s or all of the debauchery won't as socially taboo anymore.

3 - Some of high school and college culture are going to spill over on to the 20s and even 30s, this means a lot of the parties and people not being as strict on having relationships end up as LTRs and marriages. Everyone will be okay with it.

Do you think we're heading for a future in which bachelors in their 30s will pretty much have the option to have an amazing social life even if they are single? A future in which guys who missed out on a lot of the hedonism and craziness in their school years will have ample opportunities to not only make up for lost time but find lots of other people to make up for lost time with?

 

[Inbocca]

Interesting thought. I agree, I think it falls in line with the similar trend of men not being what they were decades ago. Back then, they were more masculine, powerful, but also mature and responsible. It was the "manly" thing to settle down, find a wife, and start a family. Now we've got softer men with a smaller sense of maturity and a culture focused on a love to party. Unless something drastic changes in their lives, they're probably going to keep doing it at least some of the time. It also depends on your lifestyle and income bracket. I doubt wealthy people spend a lot of time doing asocial things, it kind of comes naturally with the territory.

But I think even past this, there comes a time for most guys when that life loses its luster. A sense of boredom comes into play. That's when a lot of people do something to change it up or move on to something new. Maybe they crank up the level of excitement (even in marriage, you see a lot more swingers and "alternative lifestyles" than you used to hear about), or maybe they try something else entirely like moving to a new country or changing careers.

I've been kind of worried about this myself. I'm in my early 20s and I'm seeing some of my more conservative and religious friends getting married, some of them are even having kids, and it feels weird. It's odd hanging out with them unless I also have a serious girlfriend or wife. I know it's only going to get weirder as I get older. But divorce is a lot more common nowadays too, and most of those 30-something married couples are going to end up in the same place as the bachelors with a lot more body fat and 50% less stuff. The ones that don't will live happy lives with children, mortgages, and eventually grow old in the arms of their loved one. Neither path sounds like fun to me.

But that's just me. The most important thing is that everyone ends up happy, or at least not miserable.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Interesting thought. I agree, I think it falls in line with the similar trend of men not being what they were decades ago. Back then, they were more masculine, powerful, but also mature and responsible. It was the "manly" thing to settle down, find a wife, and start a family. Now we've got softer men with a smaller sense of maturity and a culture focused on a love to party. Unless something drastic changes in their lives, they're probably going to keep doing it at least some of the time. It also depends on your lifestyle and income bracket. I doubt wealthy people spend a lot of time doing asocial things, it kind of comes naturally with the territory.

I wouldn't say that guys not wanting to settle down and actually wanting to party really makes them "soft".

 

[Inbocca]

I'm not saying it makes them soft. The constant partying is just a byproduct of being soft. It's fun and distracting from hardships. Doing it constantly shows a fear of facing those hardships or even your own feelings by running away from them. Settling down is totally optional.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I see it all the time in Seattle, lots of hipsters have that one guy in his 30s with the wealth that they are friends with, he is the guy throwing the parties and getting the girls.

Not too long ago, black dragon (a blog I love) wrote a post just about this, how guys are taking much much longer to grow up compared to a few decades ago. I think that these next 2 decades are going to be quite an interesting time to be a man, wouldn't have it any other way myself.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I'm not saying it makes them soft. The constant partying is just a byproduct of being soft. It's fun and distracting from hardships. Doing it constantly shows a fear of facing those hardships or even your own feelings by running away from them. Settling down is totally optional.

Lots of military guys party and I wouldn't call them soft at all.