A good learning experiance

[ramshead]

I had a great experience. Ive been working in an office for 2 years. The location of the office alows me to pick up beautiful girls that work in buildings around my office at lunch or at happy hour after work. Ive hooked up with some of the girls from my job. Bagging them on the first night from what ive learned at GC.

This one girl named Daisy, is beutiful i never approched her in the beggining since we were in the same cubicle so I saw her daily and didnt want it to be wierd if she rejected me. After a few months I was changed to a different department. And made my attempt but she rejected me she said it would be awkward to date a coworker. I laughed and said its only a drink who said anything about dating and she laughed to and blusshed.

I left it at that but by this point there were rumors of me sleeping ith some of the girls which no one ever told me but I was aware by a couple of the older ladies telling me. So im sure Daisy was aware.

2 weeks passed by and me and Daisy were getting water before we had to clock in. She asked me if had any plans for the weekend since it was a friday. I said nothing set on stone and I asked her the same and she said nothing planned.

So I asked her if she wanted to go get some drinks after work and she said yes. We went out we had a good time. When I walked her to her car we started making out and we jumped on to back seat of her car and made out. She them gave me a blowjob. So I undressed her blouse and wanted to finger her to turn her on but she didnt let me unbottom her pants, She then kicked me out of her car. And said see you monday handsome.

The next morning I texted her it was fun night and we texted a bit and we scheduled to meet up again next week. That whole week she was being extremely flirtasious with me and some of the guys noticed and told me that Daisy is into you. On the day of that date she canceled but she said if we can meet the folowing week on the same day. I said yes.

For that date we went to a bar by the beach. When we left the bar we laid on the sand and made out. It was an extremely busy street to do anything in the back of my car so I took her home. When we got out of my car I was going to walk her to her door and make my move but she got extremely mad when I opened the passanger door. And she said dont walk me to me my door Im mad at you. This cought me by surprise. So I walked back to my seat and she said I cant even look at you right know. And jumped out of my car and went inside her house.

The next day I acted like nothing happend at work. When I got home she texted me.

Her - Hey
Me - Hey how was your day
Her - It was good are you mad at me for last night
Me - No if anything im surprissed. No one has ever gotten upset at me for trying to walk them to their car
Her - Im sorry Since i was young my guy friends from school told me if a guy walks you to your door or wants to pee at your house. He wants to halve sex with you.

In my ming yes thats what I wanted but i told her

Me - Oh I just wanted to be nice and dont worry its not a big deal
Her - Ok, and sorry

I waited a couple of days I treated her the same at work and mid way through the week I asked her out again and she said yes but that it had to be in 2 weeks since she was busy with holiday shopping and family coming over from out of state. I said that was what I thinking and she said deal.

The night of our 3rd time going out she parked her car at my house and I drove to a little bar by my house. It was the same we had fun at the bar. I took her to my house but she wanted to go to the back of my seat instead I told her we were only getting a drink and then she could leave in a playful way.

She said she didnt trust me and she jumped in the back seat. I went there and we started making out and she took off her bra I started taking her clothes off. Then suddenly she stopped and said

Her - we should only be friends and if we had not worked together I would have ignored you but wanted to tell you. We dont think alike, your sexist and all the rumors about you at work.

Me- well I see you more than as just a friend or a coworker. And sexist im not sure where youre getting that from.

Her - are you mad at me

Me - I would never be mad at you especially for being honest with me

Her - Ok and she jumped on my lap and stared kissing me sexually and grabbing my dick. We made out for another 10 minutes and she started talking like a little girl in a playfull way. She had never done this.

So I got her hand and put it on my dick and then took out my dick.

She then said

Her - Why did you do that Im mad at you.

I didnt say anything so she said from 1 through 10 im at a 4 in the mad level at you right know.

She went cold and started putting herself back together. She only said

Her - Im not sure about you. Im going home.

Me -I feel you and here Ill walk you to your car

By this point Im already tired of her I missed a couple of windows. The jealosy or curiosity of rumors was a surprise. Today at work was a half day for it being New years eve, And we interacted the same but I treated her like a coworker not a friend or someone I knew more intamate.

Im using this as a an experience. I do like this girl but I wont chase her. Do you guys have any similar experiaces or suggestions as to how I could make her a lover. I am going out with a couple other girls but Im curious just for fun if I could turn this around for a good experience. If I do or donot make her a lover it still would be a good lesson.

PS Happy New Years

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Sup ma dude!

Not a bad attempt yah? The resistance barriers were there and like ya mentioned ya missed some windows which doesn't help but we all make mistakes its how ya recover from them yah?

To turn it around in ma opinion ya on the right lines of being cold with her, I'd try to ignore her as much as ya can it might be hard to go total no contact when ya work with her and let her miss ya yah? If she mad she needs time to cool down and to miss you before ya can turn this about however if she's only a 4 out of 10 ya got lots of head room!

She's walked away from ya, so she needs to come back to ya to fix this. Other than being cold or full no contact with her its out of ya hands dude she has to reengage. It seems like cause of the rumours ya appear to be playing so when ya escalated its backing up the rumours but that puts ya in a difficult position cause she should just follow she already accepted it would happen. Arguably this would look like she wants to know ya serious about her and ya willing to make steps towards committing but this leads to slower interaction and more chance to mess up cause she's placing ya in relationship terrritory. Either way its not the best route to be on dude yah?

If ya really wanna make a go of it in about 8 weeks ya can try and reengage and get her out and she might comply but definitely give it time and if ya not that interested let it go if she doesn't come back. There's a few reasons why she won't come back and it could be autorejection cause she doesnt want to play and knows she wont have ya committing, but ya go cold and if shes really interested she'll chase! Let us know how ya get on yah?

 

[ramshead]

Fluxcapacitor,

Thanks yeah I already started being cold with her this week. Yesterday I noticed she started chasing a bit. I’m still treating her like a coworker and not warming up to her. She had to run to our supply room to get some surprise baby shower decoration for a girl in our office. As she passed by me she grabbed my forearm. And we took the group picture she went out of her way to stand next to me. But I was cold to her the whole time.

Like you suggested. I’ll be cold for a while until she comes back and I’ll wait the 8 weeks and test it out again

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Nicely done Ramshead ma dude!

A always like the little signs of chasing cause of its not so full on and its like they tip toe to ya and hope ya notice! A find theres a balance where if ya dont notice or warm up in time the attraction expires an they go into auto rejection but if ya warm up to fast to it they know they have ya yah?? A always like to do a bit of push n pull when this happens but theres always a risk that they let tha ego get in the way an expect ya to chase an if ya dont they find someone who will. Thats always fine by me yah? If they can get a B rate version of me thats cool but a dunno who they think they fooling!!

From tha sounds of it ya wont have to contact her in 8 weeks an she'll put herself into the picture again either way ma dude good luck an let us all know how ya got on yah??

 

[ramshead]

Fluxcapacitor,

Heres an update not sure if it was the right choice. I think its a good come back all i need to do is fuck her. But it seems like she already has a guard and not sure if i should go for it or not. Heres what happend.

So were going out next Wed. After I ignored her for a whole week. I noticed she would only look at me and make an attempt to talk to me.

Yesterday, she texted me in the afternoon.

Her - Hey, hows your weekend going

Me - Hey, its ok just watching a movie with some friends.

Her - Oh, Question did I offend in any way

Me - No not really why do you think that

Her - You havent spoken to me since the last time we went out and it seems your giving me the cold shoulder

Me - Well you havent spoken to me either. Are you upset at me

Her - I see, and no im not up set at you

Her - I was only suprised of what happend and needed time to think

Me - I feel you. Are we OK

Her - Of course : )

I left it at that and didnt text her back yesterday until today

This afternoon I texted

Me - Hey so you said everything is Ok so this means everything is behind

Her - Already forgotten : )

Me - I was thinking of getting something to drink this Wed after work (Its a Bar that has 2 for 1 drinks by our office on wed only) do you have any plans

Her- No plans

Me - Ok join me and lets have a good time

Her - Deal : )

Flux, this is what i mean i know she likes me but from what happend its kinda hard to fuck her since she already thinks im a player

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

ramshead dude!

have only jus read ya reply so am probably way to late to help. have had some issues have been dealing with in the field.

ya potentially made a mistake asking her if everything is behind cause ya acknowledged her behaviour an even though she said its all forgotten its now been brought back up an potentially in her mind now. not always an issue but can be if ya get me?

ya in a similar situation to me this past week where an ex of mine that a took back was being very slow with moving an didn't want to get sexual to fast her guard was up an a wasn't getting anywhere. theres a few articles on GC for resistance that help greatly, also putting her guard up is a form of auto rejection, ya got proximity with her so if ya warm, sexy, an build up tension ya can get there Jus remember there is a difference between being fast an rushing....theres an article on here bout that as well which is a great insight. A was so bothered with moving fast an fucking this girl that a rushed it to try an confirm our relationship. A screwed maself over here as we have broke up but that's valentines over complicating it.....

but yah a dunno how ya got on, but ya can turn this around ironically slowing down a little an being romantic which is a way out of last minute resistance!! Let me know dude!

 

[rockstar]

Don't really know if this is the right answer, but I'm wondering if being more explicit with your frames would help here.
Some thoughts:

Her - Hey
Me - Hey how was your day
Her - It was good are you mad at me for last night
Me - No if anything im surprissed. No one has ever gotten upset at me for trying to walk them to their car
Her - Im sorry Since i was young my guy friends from school told me if a guy walks you to your door or wants to pee at your house. He wants to halve sex with you.

In my ming yes thats what I wanted but i told her

Me - Oh I just wanted to be nice and dont worry its not a big deal
Her - Ok, and sorry

To me, this sounds like it could come off as accepting her "being sexual is bad" frame. My first thought is something like "lmao so a full bladder is the sign of a man's desire?", or something that pokes fun at the ridiculousness of her text.

Since this is social circle game, maybe continuing to play it so chill and blase is the way to go. You don't have to worry about never seeing her again, so as long as you can keep her interested, you can just keep shooting at the chances you get.

As far as being seen as a player, I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to be more explicit about your frames. So if she brings the topic up or implies that you just want sex with her, you'd say that you're not interested in one night stands (assuming you'd want to keep seeing her) and explain why (you think connection is more important blah blah). I've been wanting to try flipping this frame back on the girl by subtly accusing her of being judgemental: "Wow .... that's presumptuous. (pause) I thought you were cool and we were connecting - but apparently you just see me as some dick on legs who's just saying anything to get into your pants." That's probably more last resort than you need though. Maybe just focusing on rapport/similarity/relating would be a good idea.