FR A Hot Blonde Player

[sumwunimetonce]

So had a date lined up with a solid 8 last Friday. She showed up and was looking great, hot body, short skirt, tanned legs, overall very impressive.

We were at the date spot near my house, outside bar on a quiet st. The date flowed well, my last date was too much comfort and not enough attraction so I did not make the same mistake with this girl, I teased and joked nicely, she was laughing at everything I said ... I was pushing as well as pulling ...I leant in initially (we were sitting in-between opposite and side by side) but leant back and let her invest, let the conversation drop off so she would fill the silence, turned my body away when she tried to tease me ... all good.

We then bounced to my apartment so i could change my glasses, nice compliance, she jumped on my bed to feel how hard it was etc.

Then to the next venue, a bar in a park, she picked it, I thought it was a mistake but it was great, good music, we sat on my jacket against a tree and kissed, she was hot for me and we kissed a lot. She had an early flight so the date ended at 9, I sort of suggested we go to another bar knowing she would decline, I did it more to show sexual intent than anything else.

So she goes to Italy from Saturday to Monday (alone apparently/probably meet a guy) and we agree to meet next week, I send one text when she is in Italy (Enjoying the X ... as I had been there), no reply. Then one Wednesday ... (Made it back ?) and nothing, ghostville !!!

My theories for this are either
1. I was a little too needy/focused on her/lack of abundance ... probably true to some extent but not too much
2. I was one of X options, could have been me, another guy here and her Italian lover ...
3. I let it get too sexual on the date (she is conservative) - (This is true but not the reason for the ghosting)


So if I am right and theory 2 (other men) was the predominant reason then the last 2 women I have been on dates with (other was 8.5++) have been fully playing the field, I know it should be obvious that hight value women have options but I suppose I am now seeing it first hand. I suspect both of these women were

- actively sleeping with another guy or very very recently stopped so neither were looking for sex from me that night
- had at least one if not more other guys who they have been on dates with (had other active options)

I suspect that what the date could have been (in both cases) was an audition, basically exactly the same shit I am doing !!

And with that in mind I think the whole date should have been played with a lightly different mentality, more about knowing what was going on, displaying higher value, having lots of fun then leaving her wanting more. Ideally being able to predict the most likely outcome early on the date so managing personal expectations but obviously being flexible.

Thoughts as always gentlemen are welcome and appreciated.

 

[JacobPalmer]

It sounds like you did a lot of things correctly as she was compliant with the venue jumping, kissing, touch etc, but I will point out a few things.

We were at the date spot near my house, outside bar on a quiet st. The date flowed well, my last date was too much comfort and not enough attraction so I did not make the same mistake with this girl, I teased and joked nicely, she was laughing at everything I said ... I was pushing as well as pulling ...I leant in initially (we were sitting in-between opposite and side by side) but leant back and let her invest, let the conversation drop off so she would fill the silence, turned my body away when she tried to tease me ... all good.

Execution here sounds great, and seems like you both had a great time - awesome!

We then bounced to my apartment so i could change my glasses, nice compliance, she jumped on my bed to feel how hard it was etc.

So here is something where I think you made a mistake. You're already at your place, and she even hopped on your bed to "test" the hardness. I think you should have stayed and just continued the date at your place, "Let's have a glass of wine before our next venue" is something you could say. And then continue the date and escalate. But instead you made things harder by going back out, because now you have to "convince" her to come home with you again. Especially when you know when she has an early flight the next day - try to account for this and pull sooner, or schedule your date sooner so you have enough time.

She had an early flight so the date ended at 9, I sort of suggested we go to another bar knowing she would decline, I did it more to show sexual intent than anything else.

I don't think this is showing sexual intent, it's showing a lack of it actually. Sexual intent would saying you should grab a nightcap and then going back to your place. You've already built up enough of a connection that she likes you, you don't need to continue building that connection by hopping to another public venue. Remember - when seducing or on a date you always need to be moving things forward, and in this case, because you're already kissing etc, forward means back to your place.

So she goes to Italy from Saturday to Monday (alone apparently/probably meet a guy) and we agree to meet next week, I send one text when she is in Italy (Enjoying the X ... as I had been there), no reply. Then one Wednesday ... (Made it back ?) and nothing, ghostville !!!

You can still try for one more, something like "Hey XXX, hope you had an awesome trip. Let's grab a bite/drink soon and you can tell me about it. When are you free?" Just send it in a couple days. Honestly sometimes girls just forget or are too lazy to text back. And you don't have anything to lose at this point anyway.

My theories for this are either
1. I was a little too needy/focused on her/lack of abundance ... probably true to some extent but not too much
2. I was one of X options, could have been me, another guy here and her Italian lover ...
3. I let it get too sexual on the date (she is conservative) - (This is true but not the reason for the ghosting)

I don't think it's #1 based on what you wrote, but #2 always happens. Hell, it even happened to me recently. https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=21342 to combat this you just need to move faster, or create a stronger connection with her. But sometimes you just can't, and it comes down to what's most convenient for her. Although I'm not sure where you're getting the italian lover from, as what you're writing here just sounds like you're guessing about this. As for #3, you only kissed, so I don't think it got too sexual.

And with that in mind I think the whole date should have been played with a lightly different mentality, more about knowing what was going on, displaying higher value, having lots of fun then leaving her wanting more. Ideally being able to predict the most likely outcome early on the date so managing personal expectations but obviously being flexible.

If she is on a date with you and kissing you then your value is high enough. It also sounds like you both had fun. What you need to do is pull her home and have sex with her - because that's what you both want. Don't leave her wanting more if she is ready, because 1. she will find someone else and 2. if she goes on another date/meets someone else who moves faster than you, then you're out of the running (most likely). In some cases it's ok to leave her wanting more if you think she needs more time/connection to get to know you, but I don't think that's the case here as she seemed pretty into you.

Hope this was constructive for you.

 

[sumwunimetonce]

Thanks bro, yes I did read your other report, and I think there has been one or two other with the same theme recently. I think when you are gaming a lot and find a high value women you must assume that you are competing with others for her. I think some a few subtle changes that I could make would be thinking of the date a little more like a fun journey for her, not too much but adding in a greater sense of adventure. Showing higher value in a few subtle ways, take her to your local bar where you are comfortable interacting with the staff and you get treated well, possibly opening another set/banter with anther barman or waiter, not much but enough to show your a cool guy and maybe qualifying her with questions about the best venues and events in the city ... "Have you been to X ... you have to its amazing a group of us went last week"

Obviously you do not want this to be all smoke and mirrors but to be living that life and that combined with a bigger options deck I am sure would have made a difference.

You are right that ultimately (and especially with women in this boyfriend hunting phase), unless you really blow her away there will be an element of whats convenient for her and the timing of it all, who she goes on a date with on the weekend when she is horny etc ( Fucking Italian fucker !!!! )) )

Some detail that I missed out is that I am in Eastern Europe and she is conservative so you do need to be more careful here with being too sexual too early, yes some women will sleep with you same day but more often its 3+ dates. When she was back at my apartment it was only 6.30 so that was not the right time to pull her.

 

[JacobPalmer]

It doesn't matter if it was 6:30, all that matters is the present moment you're in. As an example, there was a girl I met a while back (June?) and we set up a dessert date for 11:30 in the morning lol. We met at a restaurant - grabbed a drink, had dessert, and went through the seduction phase. After about an hour I said I had these delicious lemon bars at home, and that I didn't know what the rest of her day was like, but if she was free she should come over and try them. And she paused, for quite a while, and then said yes! So then when we were back at my place we had the lemon bars, and then we fucked, all about half an hour after getting to my place. It was about 1 in the afternoon, and this girl had known me for about 2 hours. Time is irrelevant for when to pull.

My point is you're never going to know how conservative is until you try. You're making excuses for this girl saying you live in eastern Europe and girls are conservative here, but 1. you don't know if she's conservative, and 2. even conservative religious girls will sleep with you if they're ready.

To me it just seemed like she was ready. So stop making excuses for girls, and start taking them home to fuck, or at least try to. Because she was obviously into you if she already went to your place. You don't need to do 3 dates if you don't have to.

Also, and this is a small point, you can't say she's conservative and then also say she has a secret Italian lover - it's contradictory. I think you might have a mental block still that conservative girls won't sleep with you on the first date.

Anyway, I'd text her again, see what happens.

 

[sumwunimetonce]

Fair point, and I will.

 

[sumwunimetonce]

Update: Her reply

Hi
Yes, I’m back

So this is the classic slow ghost / distant stranger tactic, I know it and use it !!

I think my only play here is to treat this girl like one of my B squad girls.

B squad girls are ones I have dated but there was nothing, I keep them around as we share interests and I use them for social circle game.

As this girl is attracted to me but is also nexting me I do not think I will get here out soon. I will text her in the same style and frequency of a B string girl (1x every 1-2 weeks) and try to get her out to an event she likes with other B string girls.

Thoughts Gentlemen

 

[JacobPalmer]

What was her reply to? What text did you send?

If she's responding it's a good sign and you have to look at the context more. She added in the "" which is high effort. So I don't think this she's nexting you. You're coming at this way too negatively. She likes you so get a bit of compliance from her now through text and then just ask her out.

 

[sumwunimetonce]

I texted her

Made it back ?

No reply for 4 days, then her short response

12 hours later I replied something basic ... no response,

This one is over, onwards and upwards