FR+ a night you want to say fuck it

[ray_zorse]

Re: Fr++/fu/fu: a night you want to say fuck it

I don't really see any problems here.
1. Drinking is fun, everybody needs to do it sometimes, it's just not conducive to pickup.
2. You were sick.
3. Everybody gets in their head sometimes. Actually it's your normal state, training yourself to live in the moment is a worthwhile goal but you may never completely get there. Maybe you just needed time to process things.

Stop being so hard on yourself, have fun and do what u want to do. It is helpful to have some other mission than just gaming (e.g. I am going to have a soda water in 6 different Ibud bars tonight and try to find which is the most happening / popular).

DAMN, Hongdae sounds fun. It prob would have been good to make a move somewhere tho. Then again I happen to like K-girls (and clubs that are packed at dawn) so different strokes I guess.

Okay just pick yourself up and try to be in the moment and otherwise take it easy and all will work out I'm sure.



Ray

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Re: Fr+/fu/fu: a night you want to say fuck it

Been where you are a hundred thousand times and am currently in it right now while visiting Denver. I'm feeling unsatisfied even though I fucked a bitch my second night in town, got a blowjob on a college campus after an hour-long date yesterday, and had two other dates so far, with another one set up for tomorrow, and a date Saturday night before I leave Sunday morning.

It's called ambition.

To become something you're not, you need to kill who you are now. And if you want to do that fast and effectively, you need to be very unsatisfied with who you are right now. You want to feel like you're some worthless piece of shit who deserves to be clawed to pieces so that the crazy-powerful-12 inch dick swagging monster that's living inside of you can burst out of your pussy stomach.

This was addressed in a different thread in the Lifestyle board where someone posted about "not taking pickup too seriously." I came in, spewed my uber-ambitious nonsense, and then Chase put us all in our place by showing that different people have different ambitions.

But the category that you and I fall under is "rage-to-mastery," a type of person who wants to be REALLY FUCKING GOOD at a lot of different fields. The fate of this personality is

1. A lot of pain, self-torture, and anxiety about improvement

but also

2. A lot of success, strength, and a place in the pantheon of humanity's greatest men


Because you are this person,

I can't tell you to be "easier on yourself," because that would fall on deaf ears. I know this, because I feel it, too.

I can't tell you to "just take it easy," because that would fall on deaf ears. I know this, because I feel it, too.

But I can tell you that if you keep pushing, YOU WILL IMPROVE. You will. You will. You will. And it will happen randomly and from some approach that you don't think much of. You have to trust me. If I could transport 18 year old Hector to the library I'm in right now, I bet he would shit his fucking pants at the Hector who's now sitting at this table; he would have no idea that he could become the man I am now. And that's because improving takes time and effort, a commitment most people are not willing to undertake.

Recently, I've been able to turn my mountain-moving ambition into a much more relaxed but still strong determination that involves a lot less self-torture, but it's taken a LONG time. And you're probably not ready for it yet, at least with regards to pickup. Right now, it will do you a lot of good to keep having the rabid, crazy anxious ambition that's running through your head right now. It'll hurt like a bitch and it might drive you into insanity, but you need to endure those moments before you can truly develop a compassion for the world and yourself that will enable you to retain your ambition without the cost of so much pain and self-torture.

That being said, my best advice to you right now is: look at the people around you and realize how weak they are. Recognize that you do NOT want to become them, that you want to be a fucking superstar, and that on the path you're pushing yourself through, you will never become like them. So keep pushing and keep killing the old Radeng, and become a new man each and every day

Most people who read that sentence are going to have a viscerally negative reaction and be off-put by its pessimism, but if I know you by this post, then it's exactly what you need right now.


Struggle. Endure. Contend.


Do not stop, my friend.

- Hector

p.s. A good tip: quit drinking; I've been sober for 4 months now and feel better than I ever have, and my game is better than it's ever been. Get a doubles glass, put a lime on it, and get water. If people ask why you don't drink, ensure that it's a personal choice and you have no judgments about those who drink. I still smoke weed often, but even that I'm cutting down and planning to eradicate completely in time. This is of course your choice and I don't judge any who drink, but gaming sober will not only improve your skills faster but you'll also never run into the situations that you did with oldie-chick who wanted to gobble your cock.

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: Fr+/fu/fu: a night you want to say fuck it

Haha well if it's like that then the only advice I can give you is go direct or go home I had 100x better reactions since I stopped with any kind of ego preserving approaches. Hit it hard if that's what u need to do, only don't look back and see failure just look forward and see cute women to approach
-Ray

 

[Dern]

Re: Fr+/fu/fu: a night you want to say fuck it

Fuck Anatman... you describe exactly how I feel too.

I've been at this for almost 2 years now and still haven't gotten laid.

And no matter how badly I want to just give up on life, I know I cant: I gotta keep pushing, keep struggling till I make it.

And when I do, I know the pain doesn't stop there.

 

[Rage]

Re: Fr+/fu/fu: a night you want to say fuck it

Great discussion from Hector.

Something remarkable that I’ve observed in myself and seen/read about others too, is when attempting to deliberately practice and work to master any skill, keeping the mindset of “I suck and have so much further to go” keeps you going keeps you progressing, and accompanies you in reaching new heights no matter how far or not along the journey you already are.

Socrates said to “know nothing and seek to know the world”, essentially looking at all you do and endeavor to further yourself in in terms of I’m a noob and have worlds further to go.

Any time you start to feel like “oh im pretty good, oh I’m better than most, oh im the shit”: you lose! You stifle your growth; any remaining potential or ability for growth you had you hinder quite a bit … its instead wiser and more prudent to look at it from “I have so much further to go, so much more to learn”. With this mindset you grow eternally in a way that is limitless and your desire for growth remains insatiable and hungry as it was from day one.

Humbling yourself and genuinely truly believing you “know nothing” and seeking to know more can be the most efficient paradigm due to all the different ways in which it causes you to look to better yourself and grow and figure out all the little things that work in your favor (and cut/avoid all those things that don’t).

You keep growing then and your versions keep updating then (to continue Hector’s analogy)

 

[Chase]

Re: Fr+/fu/fu: a night you want to say fuck it

Radeng-

Not to distract from the main point here... but I've done Bali a few times, and it's mediocre at best for pickup.

Beautiful place (especially if you make it up to Ubud, which it seems you did), but 97% of the women there are either Javanese working girls, or fat Australian tourists. You'll find a few attractive tourists from Europe here and there, and a few from East Asia, but it's pretty slim pickings if you don't want to go dumpster diving and you're not a fan of paying. And they're usually not in a "let's party and wild out" kind of mood.

You've still got the vacation anonymity factor working in your favor, but it's not Cancun or Koh Phangan; it's not somewhere singles go to get laid (excepting guys who are looking for cheap prostitutes). Most of the people you'll meet are there for a chill time, or with family / boyfriends, etc.

In general, it's often not a good idea to get yourself too hyped up for travel, because places nearly never match your expectations. If you think it's going to be super easy, you'll crash and come down hard when you find it isn't. (although if you think it's going to be absolute dreck, you'll sometimes get a huge boost when you show up and realize there are actually cute girls here and they're kind of friendly)

From reading the report, it seems you did fine; you pulled a few times, could've gotten laid, but had a few slip through your fingers. This happens. Sometimes you can hustle harder and make something out of nothing, but sometimes there's really nothing you can do. Screen better for logistics next time, drink less, move faster so you have more time.

One of the major lessons you learn about not being affected by outcomes is learning to let go of expectations, although you need enough "Thought I had it, then it all went to hell in a hand basket" moments, plus enough "Whoa, I thought there was no chance there - how the heck did I pull that off??" moments that you just start saying to yourself, "You know what, I have so little control over what happens in the grand scheme of things all I can do is give each girl my shot and see what comes of it."

Chase

 

[Lotus]

Re: Fr+/fu/fu: a night you want to say fuck it

Socrates said to “know nothing and seek to know the world”, essentially looking at all you do and endeavor to further yourself in in terms of I’m a noob and have worlds further to go.

Going to hold on to this quote. Already stickied it to my desk.

 

[Rage]

Re: Fr+/fu/fu: a night you want to say fuck it

Socrates said to “know nothing and seek to know the world”, essentially looking at all you do and endeavor to further yourself in in terms of I’m a noob and have worlds further to go.

Going to hold on to this quote. Already stickied it to my desk.

Oh hey just read this glad you like it too, it is one of my favorites, perhaps my most favorite. Had forgotten also but it happens to be roughly the same quote that I had once before set as my signature on the boards (under any reply or post I put).

Kind of different from majority of society, always wanting to be right and certain and stuff huh?

-Gem