A Specific Issue

[Gibson]

So last night, Thursday, I pulled a girl and had sex with her. Before that, on Monday, I pulled another girl as well and slept with her too.

Today, Friday, I had another date scheduled for 8pm, and the girl flaked (this one flaked for the second time). And I got so fucking angry, I don't know why, and not for the first time. It seems like, no matter how many hot girls I sleep with or how good my game gets, I just can't shake this feeling of anger and frustration when someone flakes on me. It doesn't even have to be a girl or a date situation btw, I feel the same with friends or colleagues doing it to me. I just feel so deeply disrespected, like they don't give two shits about my time and schedule.

I have no problem with rejection, I'm not needy or desperate, I get good results (all of these have gotten better with time, wasn't always like that), my lay count is very close to triple digits, but this one thing - how I feel (and sometimes openly react, sometimes I stifle it and pretend I'm cool with it) when someone is flaky with me - just doesn't seem to get better or improve.

What do you guys think, why is this the case, and can it be helped?

 

[ulrich]

Mmmhhh... this one looks like pretty ingrained in your mind... like probably you have a bad mental association to flaking or had a bad experience.

I think that the best thing is changing your perspective about flaking for a more productive one.

Would you mind expanding on what gets you so angry of people flaking?
Had you ever had a situation where flaking really hurt you? (maybe a relative or ex gf)

 

[Gibson]

Mmmhhh... this one looks like pretty ingrained in your mind... like probably you have a bad mental association to flaking or had a bad experience.

I think that the best thing is changing your perspective about flaking for a more productive one.

Would you mind expanding on what gets you so angry of people flaking?
Had you ever had a situation where flaking really hurt you? (maybe a relative or ex gf)

So what pisses me off about it is the fact that I perceive it as an ultimate disrespect of a person's time, and therefore a blatant disrespect of a person themselves.

I can't remember any specific experiences that might have caused this. The only thing that comes to mind is the fact that my parents are extremely punctual, as in, never being late, never flaking, very often even arriving early.

 

[PalmaSailor]

Lighten up, life’s too short.

you are getting laid so you must have the basics right - or at least be along the right lines.

as far as women are concerned, flaking is down to your failed game so you need to deal with that and improve it.

basically, women are in the moment, and if a better option comes along they’ll take it. That’s what’s happening when they “flake”

as far as friends are concerned, if they outright flake and that’s a boundary you won’t tolerate, you need to cut them off. You should however consider that the root of this is also probably that they’ve had a better offer and would prefer to do that than hang out with you so you need to ask yourself why that is. Are they just arseholes, or is it you?

on a broader note you’ll become the average of your closest 5 acquaintances so pick them wisely.