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- Oct 9, 2012
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I did not recognize this for what it was until just now as I was critiquing Wes's field report (my original response is here), but there is a subtle neg used in deep diving when women mention something they do in an obvious attempt to impress. This is not something I learned consciously... I probably picked it up from film years ago (pay attention, and you'll see everyone from Sean Connery to Matt Damon do this to women in movies).
Most socially skilled guys pick this up at some point or another without thinking about it, come to think of it - I'm pretty sure I've seen it in some of the lay reports from guys on this board, too (NJ and Zphix, I'm looking at you cats).
It goes like this:
What's happening here? You're forcing her to take herself down a notch... and showing very clearly that you aren't awestruck, floored, or amazed by her credentials.
An example:
Then, instead of her feeling like she gets to throw status around, she is now working to impress you - and as you continue the deep dive, you only screen more. This first move though, actually, is a subtle neg - you're complimenting her, but in a way that makes her realize she is not quite as amazing as she thought she was when saying this.
Note: as with negs, don't overuse this if you don't want a girl to start feeling unimpressive and ultimately auto-reject. Once or twice when she's acting a little over-pleased with herself is best - and you must be very sincere and flirty when you say this (you're not saying it in a mean or condescending way... it's a neg, but it's also flirtation - the goal is to get her qualifying, while enjoying herself and feeling good that she's finally with a guy who isn't wrapped around her pinkie finger).
Chase
Most socially skilled guys pick this up at some point or another without thinking about it, come to think of it - I'm pretty sure I've seen it in some of the lay reports from guys on this board, too (NJ and Zphix, I'm looking at you cats).
It goes like this:
Woman: [something impressive she does]
Man: You don't say? So you're kind of a modern day [very famous example of what she does]?
Woman: [laughs] Well... not THAT well known! But I AM pretty good!
What's happening here? You're forcing her to take herself down a notch... and showing very clearly that you aren't awestruck, floored, or amazed by her credentials.
An example:
Woman: I'm a singer.
Man: No way! Britney Spears level, or still working your way up?
Woman: [laughs] Well, I'm not quite there yet... but someday!
Man: Good. I hope you don't go shaving your head or hooking up with your bodyguard or anything though.
Woman: Only if my bodyguard is really sexy.
Man: Well, you'll have to let me know if you're hiring. Good pay and benefits, right?
Woman: The best.
Man: I'm sold. So how long have you been singing, and how'd you get into it?
Then, instead of her feeling like she gets to throw status around, she is now working to impress you - and as you continue the deep dive, you only screen more. This first move though, actually, is a subtle neg - you're complimenting her, but in a way that makes her realize she is not quite as amazing as she thought she was when saying this.
Note: as with negs, don't overuse this if you don't want a girl to start feeling unimpressive and ultimately auto-reject. Once or twice when she's acting a little over-pleased with herself is best - and you must be very sincere and flirty when you say this (you're not saying it in a mean or condescending way... it's a neg, but it's also flirtation - the goal is to get her qualifying, while enjoying herself and feeling good that she's finally with a guy who isn't wrapped around her pinkie finger).
Chase
