Acted on Approach Invitation for the 1st time

[Marty]

Okay folks, this is really just to put a stake in the ground here, I'm not asking for advice, for once!

So after over an hour of useless walking in the streets, unable to find a suitable target with a realistic possibility of approach, I was getting overheated and about to give it up for a bad job when the following happened:

I was coming to a crosswalk when I spotted a pretty face the other side of the road. I removed my sunglasses to enable eye contact, crossed slowly and confidently and intentionally diverted my path slightly to be closer to the girl. She was standing waiting for the light to change on the other road in the intersection, back in the shade. She was holding two pizzas. As I came closer, she looked at me and smiled. I didn't need a second signal.

Marty: "Is one of those for me?" [I've been meaning to try this opener for some time.]

Girl: (laughs)

Marty: "I'm kidding. I just wanted to say hello. I'm Marty."

Girl: [gives name]

Marty: "You're very pretty." [Going direct. Spontaneous decision not to overcomplicate this stage with pauses etc. - she already knew what I was about]

Girl: "Thanks."

...and we were off. I made very brief small talk, moved to rapport, then DEEP DOVE for about 10 min (thank you so much NarrowJ) and number closed.

We'll see what happens but I'm just glad I had the presence of mind, for the first time, to grab an AI and run with it without hesitating. Here's to more of the same.

 

[Nuncle]

You're on fire at the moment Marty.

If you're not careful you'll inspire me to get off my keyboard and go approaching.

 

[Marty]

Thanks Nuncle. I have a lot of catching up to do!

Thing is, when I first really needed this site, the Internet was in its infancy, and Chase hadn't yet started high school...

 

[Nuncle]

Yeah I'm kicking myself for that reason too.

 

[AlwaysImproving]

Nice.

I was going to say, I don't think its a good idea to go out just to find girls. Unless it is your first day trying pickup, I think most people walk around frustrated that they couldn't find a suitable target and go home upset. I used to go to the mall every Saturday and walk around.

I always find the most beautiful women when I'm just doing my errands and such. But that said you should always find more and more reasons to get out of the house.

The only exception would be extremely high volume areas like the Vegas strip or Times Square.

Just my two cents.

 

[Marty]

Very good point, AlwaysImproving, and I try to mix it in with errands too. Thing is, I'm still a beginner - this was only my fortieth "real" approach (solid communication of intent and date request) - and since I'm currently in a job which uses about 10% of my potential capability, I like to get out of the office for a couple hours after lunch each day and intentionally put myself in a position to meet women. That way I can be sure to make steady progress, no excuses, regardless of whether I get another opportunity that day or not.

But, I do agree with your point that you meet the best girls in the unlikeliest situations, and my take on it is to turn it around like this: always be in a frame of mind where you are ready to roll out your game. Have a few default curtain-raisers to fall back on... I'm not there yet but I'm adding to my repertoire.

 

[Marty]

Nuncle,

That's the true measure of the man... while the rest of us were blundering around with women, one very young guy had the vision to go against BOTH social conditioning AND the nascent pickup dogma, analyze the actions of naturally talented men with a razor edge, document it all, and grow the whole thing into a business and global community of likeminded people that is Girls Chase. With absolutely nothing to go on except his own powers of observation and intelligence. You can't do anything but take your hat off to Chase.

For heaven's sake, when I was Zphix's age, living in Central Europe, I once actually brought a girl I hardly knew ROSES, to her place of work, as a prelude to asking her out... which was of course a big deal, not a coffee or an ice-cream, a fucking OPERA. Incredibly, she accepted. That's what's meant by social conditioning. As it turned out I got sick and was in hospital the night of the date, probably a good thing in retrospect.

By some miracle, soon after I had a decent amount of pretty classy girlfriends who taught me a lot, but I had no idea about this "abundance" thing and never really stepped back to think about what might be possible... most people don't. That's why we call it "vision".

In summary, as I grew up, nothing was available, and I more or less screwed up. As Chase grew up, nothing was available either, but he made it happen. Sometimes the obvious needs to be stated, just to be able to appreciate the magnitude of the achievement.

-Marty

 

[mkivtt]

That's funny Marty, I'm from Europe too.

Anyway, I think you are doing great. Much better than I am. I still have approach anxiety and am really only comfortable with girls after I get a clear IOI from them or have some kind of excuse to engage conversation (e.g. at work). I cold approached only a handful of girls outside work last week and they were all blowouts. I did have a good chat with a "samples girl" in the grocery store but lost my nerve when someone else approached for a sample, and didn't close for her number.

I need to work on my game. Practice... practice... sigh. I guess my excuse is "I work from 9 to 6 every day and am too busy" but to be honest, I think I'm just saying that as an excuse to no have to go out. I need to force myself to visit the mall, stores, streets, and find game. Ah, if only I were in college again. Back then I had a decent group of friends to hang with, and they always wanted to look good and hit on girls. Me? I didn't care for that... thought it was stupid... spent my days gaming or doing other stuff without women, thought I was "too cool" and they would come to me. Of course they never did lol, and after college we all moved elsewhere, went our separate ways, and I found myself doing the same thing I do now: working, without much of a social life. I really threw away a good part of my life back then. Years later I moved here, and never really found a cool group of people to hang with. I did engage girls sometimes and have relationships, but was never comfortable approaching girls and never had the "volume" to go from one girl to another.

/rant.

Good luck man You are doing well. That pizza opener was super cocky/funny.

 

[Marty]

Hey Mkivtt,

I had a reply all typed out and ready to go to you late last night, but my phone somehow accidentally logged me out and I lost the draft. I'm doing the sensible thing now and typing from a PC. Anyway, here's what I wanted to say.

On the pizza opener: as I said, I've had that one up my sleeve for a while. Two or three months ago, back when I was just starting out with this process, I spotted a good-looking girl just standing around in the street holding two Starbucks. I failed to approach, reasoning that she was obviously waiting for someone to show up very soon, but by the time I'd gone another 500 feet down the street, I'd correctly concluded that (a) I was just making excuses for my approach anxiety; and (b) I'd missed a good opportunity for a funny opener, using the Starbucks she was holding. I resolved to use it next time, and this was the first opportunity I got! I've been doing a lot of that lately, saving stuff up for later, as you can probably tell if you've been reading my posts.

As concerns the sales girl you chatted with: I'm gonna stick my neck out and give my opinion. I may be still very early on in this process, but you and I have some similarities: level of experience, professional success, background, stage of life etc. so I think it makes sense for us to exchange notes. Here's the way I've handled this recently. My belief is (influenced, of course, by the articles on the GC site) that from the word "Go" you have to differentiate yourself from the other customers... by not being one. You want to be categorized, instead, as "man", "potential boyfriend", "prospective lover", whatever, as long as it's strongly masculine and not too tame or insipid. This is how I do it:

Mkivtt: "Hey there, how're you doing?"

Girl: "Hello, would you like to try one of these wonderful samples? I have just the thing for you..."

Mkivtt: "I don't want to buy anything, I don't want to try anything, I'm not interested in the product. I'm interested in YOU and wanted to introduce myself. I'm Mkivtt. You're awfully pretty."

Girl: "Haha, thanks! I'm Nina."

Mkivtt: "So is this what you always want to do... or are you studying for something else?"

...and you're away, off into a deep-dive. Cleared up the question of your interest and motivation right up front, and you can always bail out quick, propose a date and number close on the grounds that you can see she's got customers waiting. If you're unsure you can always open with "Do you work here?" then follow up with "Actually, I don't want to buy anything"... and the rest is as above. I've actually done this several times with sales assistants and gotten numbers... if they're young they usually are studying for something else, one of the ones I spoke with turned out to be a glamour model, legit, I found her website. Nothing beyond texting yet, mind you, but that's another story, I'm working on clearing up some weaknesses I have going on.

I'm going to log all this stuff in a journal on these boards in due course, but right now I'm trying to use what time I've got to get out into the field and get some practice rather than typing in front of a screen.

If it's any consolation I have the same issue as you getting spooked when there are other people around potentially interfering in the connection; as per my post on Beckoning https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2716, I'm thinking about drawing the girl out of earshot of others proactively, but haven't been successful with that just yet. Watch this space.

I somehow figured you were European; I'm intentionally vague about where exactly I'm from and where I've lived as I'm conscious that for every "Mkivtt" and "Marty" there are a dozen unregistered people viewing each post with who knows what intention.

Good luck with your lunch date next week. I'm not going to comment on whether you should leave it in place, or attempt to switch it to something with a bit more romatic/sexual vibe; I'll leave that to the experts!

-Marty