Hi guys,
Since my late adolescent years, I've had a very bad relationship with my mother. I get into arguments with her on a regular basis. I've told her I hate her, she was a bad mother, etc. I have an older brother, who she adores more than me, and has even told me so.
My parents and my brother were immigrants to the US, but I was born in the US. My mother has an accent and is not at all Westernized. She has no concern with Western culture and never took the time to assimilate into American culture. My father, on the other hand, did assimilate quite well. Growing up she never spent any real time with me, nor did she ever have the type of small talk mothers often have with their children. She never asked me anything about what my favorite this or that is, or what was going on in school, etc. Now, as an adult, I find it impossible to have any sort of intellectual or insightful conversation with her. She is a simple women, and I am very far from simple, having been raised and educated in Western society. However, I get along with my father much better, and I don't have these issues with him. I don't think any of the stuff I've been through with my mother is my fault, as she told me outright on more than one occasion that she loves my brother more than me. I didn't do anything to deserve that, and I believe it was careless and hurtful of her to say such this.
What I want to know is, does this really effect my relationship with other women?
Girls with father issues often have problems with men. I don't believe this effects the way I look at women at all, but I think women may think badly of me if they know I have a very bad relationship with my mother. I don't think they should see my badly, since I believe my mother's treatment of me is not my fault. I am conscious of the bad relationship I have with my mother and know that I am not a bad person nor did I do anything to deserve what I went through. I also do not project the feelings I have towards my mother on other women. I have always had great relationships and friendships with women all my life. In fact, my late aunt was like a mother to me, as she cared for me deeply and provided me with emotional support as a child.
Also, does anyone else share this sort of experience? And how does it effect you? I would like some advice from you guys as to how I should deal with this as a man, and as a man who wants to move forward with his life, without negativity.
Since my late adolescent years, I've had a very bad relationship with my mother. I get into arguments with her on a regular basis. I've told her I hate her, she was a bad mother, etc. I have an older brother, who she adores more than me, and has even told me so.
My parents and my brother were immigrants to the US, but I was born in the US. My mother has an accent and is not at all Westernized. She has no concern with Western culture and never took the time to assimilate into American culture. My father, on the other hand, did assimilate quite well. Growing up she never spent any real time with me, nor did she ever have the type of small talk mothers often have with their children. She never asked me anything about what my favorite this or that is, or what was going on in school, etc. Now, as an adult, I find it impossible to have any sort of intellectual or insightful conversation with her. She is a simple women, and I am very far from simple, having been raised and educated in Western society. However, I get along with my father much better, and I don't have these issues with him. I don't think any of the stuff I've been through with my mother is my fault, as she told me outright on more than one occasion that she loves my brother more than me. I didn't do anything to deserve that, and I believe it was careless and hurtful of her to say such this.
What I want to know is, does this really effect my relationship with other women?
Girls with father issues often have problems with men. I don't believe this effects the way I look at women at all, but I think women may think badly of me if they know I have a very bad relationship with my mother. I don't think they should see my badly, since I believe my mother's treatment of me is not my fault. I am conscious of the bad relationship I have with my mother and know that I am not a bad person nor did I do anything to deserve what I went through. I also do not project the feelings I have towards my mother on other women. I have always had great relationships and friendships with women all my life. In fact, my late aunt was like a mother to me, as she cared for me deeply and provided me with emotional support as a child.
Also, does anyone else share this sort of experience? And how does it effect you? I would like some advice from you guys as to how I should deal with this as a man, and as a man who wants to move forward with his life, without negativity.
