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Advice with sexual girls

Man-O

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
182
This week n-game.
I talk with 2 girls on a bar playing backgammon and my puafriend is along talking with them too. I get bored and see a girl alone on the phone. I wave her over and we talk. It soon gets into a sexual conversation since she's studying to become sexologist. At some point she tells me she doesn't know where her two guy friends are and that one of them doesn't type with the other guy as he's only interested in her and that they did fuck once blabla. Her guy friends come back after I had deep dived her a bit.
On another bar later I hear my name called and I turn around seeing her sitting with 2 guys and 3 girls. I sit next to her and we initiate talk. I start talking about that the italian guy (one of the 2 guys with her) had "f a s t" tatooed on his left hand's fingers implying he's fast with them when it comes to sex, she again qualifies that they have only been together once. Later I notice she's typing with a guy on tinder and ask why she's doing it. Topic again is sex, she's actaully all alone at some point holding the table while me and puafriend sits there talking with her.

Now is she saying she is sexually available and I should've done a move on her? Lead her away from friends somewhere to seal the deal or was she just time waster? Maybe you have same experiences. I'd like advice on this one.

Ex. 2
n-game.
I've talked with a 2set and then I see 3 girls bursting out a "NO" and I have to ask what kind of party they have and they tell me that 2 of them had fucked the same teacher when they were substitute teachers. I bounce back and forth between 2set and the 3set at the bar table (wasn't rly moving). My friends occupied the 2set and I was bored so reinitiated talk with 3set and at some point hb8blonde puts her legs over my thighs and we start having a talk at the bar table. At this point I know she has banged both a teacher and a pupil. She's very direct and tells me she doesn't care if she has to burp or anything (at this point I feel she's a bit of an attention whore). 2 guys challenge us for tablefootball and we accept. We end up losing and I learn she's a bad loser and I kind of get bored so I talk with the 2 guys. Later when I talk with hb8blonde she tells me (and we have had sex talk and deep dived) that she's just waiting for the bartender to finish so she can go home with him.

Note: She is known by the bartenders and is a regular of free drinks. She also showed me a few examples of the texts she had with her 750+ tinder matches. We did grope eachother's assses and had some fun talk, but maybe it wasn't sexual enough? Also mentioned I didn't have my own flat in the city yet.

If you want more info plz ask, else give me advice because I feel like this is a hurdle I've had for some time.
 

Man-O

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
182
Yea, with ex. 1 I should've done it right away. But I have this nagging feeling whenever it comes to pulling as I will first have my own flat the first of May (and it's very cold here atm) and may be why I'm so slow at moving forward and bouncing about with the girls.

So whenever they talk about different men on tinder or in the vicinity, I should try to qualify myself as a better option for sex (implicitly I guess)?
 

Man-O

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
182
Okay, so I met hb8blonde again at same place right off the bat as I entered we greeted and hugged. I knew from last time she didn't get a bang as I met the bartender without her later the same night so asked into it and she told me she actually drove home in car drunk and she had guilt and never done it blabla.

The bartender is guest this time and he's rather drunk and quickly ejects her as she leans towards me and again we have a fun conversation with sex-talk (and I did focus on conveying my skills here) etc. but what I've noticed is she's rather difficult deep diving, because she just comes with short and direct answers. I do however kino a lot more than last time.
When she wasn't talking to me or the like I'd look at midly bored into space or at other girls. She was very quick on that as she reengaged conversation with me again. After maybe 15 mins she gave me post card with her full name and number. Me: "What can I use this to? ;)".
Within 5 mins I lead us over to a couch and before we sit we briefly makeout (damn her pulling off first). She then buys me a drink and we sit talking but we never rly get down to seduction lvl (she's an ADHD girl). Later she again uses the phrase "I should be getting home" and I knew she wasn't gonna do much tomorrow and it wasn't that late. Told her I could walk home with her blabla (she told me which part of city she lived in). But just shrugged and laughed it off. I moved on to another bar.

Notes:
- I blurt out stuff when I'm in a good mood like we're talking about make-up (hb8b isn't wearing any), and I say, yea, girls are prettier with make-up" and there were loads of other phrases I can't remember.
- Last time I received nr. from a girl it flaked so very hesitant to text hb8blonde.
- And no, I don't fall for her, but I wouldn't mind getting the bang.
- She keeps repeatedly asking me for my age, I never give her and just say I'm between 30-40. She then goes on to tell she actually did a tv host who was 30+, even showing me pic.

Wtf am I doing wrong or is this chick just lunatic (big time validation seeking/ time waster) and I shouldn't try spending time on her if I see her again, yet even text her? It annoys me I spent so much time hoping for a lay when there were plenty of other sets in the bar. Thanks in regard.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
Ex 1: It soon gets into a sexual conversation since she's studying to become sexologist. At some point she tells me she doesn't know where her two guy friends are and that one of them doesn't type with the other guy as he's only interested in her and that they did fuck once blabla ..... she again qualifies that they have only been together once. Later I notice she's typing with a guy on tinder and ask why she's doing it. Topic again is sex .....

>>>> This girl has SEX written all over her. She is obsessed with sex, she talks about sex and fucking with everyone, she is studying sex. Does she want sex? Fuck yea.

Ex 2: .... and they tell me that 2 of them had fucked the same teacher .... and at some point hb8blonde puts her legs over my thighs and we start having a talk at the bar table. At this point I know she has banged both a teacher and a pupil. She's very direct and tells me she doesn't care if she has to burp or anything .... Later when I talk with hb8blonde she tells me (and we have had sex talk and deep dived) that she's just waiting for the bartender to finish so she can go home with him.

>>>> The same, there is SEX all over the place.

In the same way that you Assume Attraction, you also Assume that she wants to have Sex fast. With you. Because if you don't you will miss a lot of opportunities.

These girls were waiting for you to take a lead and take them home fast. In stead you were just talking, you got lost in figuring out how seduce them...

----------

GUY A:
He doesn't assume that she wants sex: He is talking and talking, he is deep diving, he is texting and flirting, he is creating good vibes and connections, he is trying to find out whether she wants sex or not, he is trying to be more attractive, more sexy and more dominant, he is trying to seduce them and so on. Examples:

... she leans towards me and again we have a fun conversation with sex-talk (and I did focus on conveying my skills here) etc. but what I've noticed is she's rather difficult deep diving, because she just comes with short and direct answers
>>>> That is because she doesn't care about deep diving. You've already deep dived her many times. She doesn't even want to talk that much. She wants sex, yet you keep talking and talking, you keep seducing her while she is ready to have sex. She is already seduced, so there is no need to keep seducing her, you don't have to game her, you don't have to raise sexual desire in her... She is looking for Action...

... After maybe 15 mins she gave me post card with her full name and number.
>>>> What is she saying? She is saying: Call me once you are ready for sex, once you are ready to invite me to your place so we can finally have sex.

... Me: "What can I use this to? ;)". Within 5 mins I lead us over to a couch and before we sit we briefly makeout (damn her pulling off first). She then buys me a drink
>>>> What is she saying now? She is investing more into you, she is giving you more hints that she is interested. After she gave you her number she let you lead her, she makes out with you and started first, and she even buys you a drink so you losen up.... She is telling you again: Look, I want action. But you do nothing, all you want to do is talk and deep dive, you are trying to figure out strategy how to seduce her, how to vibe more with her, how to game her...

... Later she again uses the phrase "I should be getting home"
>>>> What is she saying now? She is saying: I'm done, I tried, I invested enough in this guy but I am getting tired and I'm going home because there is no ACTION. This guy is not leading at all, he is slow. The window I gave him is closed... And now your bulb lightens up - hey, maybe I can walk you home? ... nah, it is too late, the window is already closed... She is leading anyway while you would be only following...

Don't take it personally, this is probably a standard/universal guy's behavior out there. Most guys are slow and hesitant, most guys don't lead...

GUY B:
He Assumes that she wants sex. The moment she starts talking about sex he already has a plan: Move forward, take her to his place. He vibes little bit, talks and dives litle bit, and then he moves, he attempts to get her to his place... Hopefully she'll go. If she doesn't want to go, ok, no big deal. Talks little bit again, vibes little bit - and attempts to move forward again. He repeats till she goes... He doesn't care much about seducing this girl, he doesn't care much about talking, doesn't care about kino, being attractive, deep diving... All he cares about is how to get her to his place with least effort... There is ACTION, he keeps pushing forward, and if she really want sex she will go with him... He is leading, and she is following, and it is easy because she is already decided to have sex....

====================

Good way to see it is when you divide girls into two groups:

GIRLS A:
She wants sex but she is shy, inexperienced, she has low confidence. She is afraid of being judged, she will be hiding her intentions carefuly, she will be quite anxious and so on. She will be rather INDIRECT. Giving just little hints here and there, giving you hard time... she will be testing waters trying to figure out how confident you are, teasing little bit here and there, hinting that she wants to be alone with you - and then she might pull back...

She will be careful talking about sex, she might talk about sex in more negative way because she has low confidence: "My friend slept with a guy on a first date, I would never do that". But she is still talking about sex, hinting that she is thinking about it. You may want to say something like: "I agree with you, having sex on a first day is not right - unless they both really really like each other". This way you agree with her while at the same time make it acceptable. She will give you little windows, and she might close them fast. She requires more work, more deep diving, more talk, more seduction... So you can't be too direct, you got to be more careful, you got to raise her confidence... You want to keep pushing forward, but rather in slower pace.

GIRLS B:
She is not shy, she knows that she wants sex and she is quite confident because she has experience. She will be more DIRECT, and she appreciates direct guys. She will talk sex and she will look for more confident/fast guys who will sleep with her with no hesitation. If she finds more confident guy, she will dump the slower guy on the spot and goes with the confident guy. If there is no confident/fast guy around, well, she will at least give a good chance to slower/nicer guy. She can also get quite frustrated with slow guy, simply because she wants to get laid and every guy she talks to is so fucking slow... She wants to fuck, yet all the guys out there want to talk, play games and seduce her...

She may also talk in a negative way but just to find out what do YOU think about having sex on a first date. If you say: "I agree, having sex on a first date is not right", well, you have just screwed yourself, now she knows you are judgemental, and it won't happen. But if you say for example "Fuck yea, that is how it should be anyway, that's what I call love on first sight", well, she just might like you even more.

You don't really need to be much diving and much talking, you don't need to take much time, you don't need to be much seducing, but you still should lead her to your place... You want to keep pushing forward, rather in fast pace.

There is of course lots of combinations between these two groups, for example Girl A can really really like that guy and she wants to keep him, so she is willing to be more direct, and she will give him a big windown. Either way, if you Assume that she wants sex fast, you just can't go wrong...
 

Man-O

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
182
Yea, definetly moving too slow due to various reasons (and probably more than I know). I now know what I did wrong but how to correct it? How to avoid this and become better at moving/leading? (thx for spelling it out with your break down Drck). This stuff has happened way too many times for me now as I look back and I dont' feel I've improved much in this particular area.

Got any tips or links on how to abolish this shitty beta mentality? Because I find my nudge way too low (currently only at 3 after a whole year and I can't blame logistics for it all), and I should've learned this by now.

I have read:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/effortless-leading-get-her-buy
No going backwards.
How to get to her place

And some others but I think the best solution would be something spelled out for me or simple drills/missions for the next time I'm out.

For instance I now know:
- instead of talking and sitting the same place for 15 mins I move her within 2 mins. Even if the girl isn't sexual.
- Now what? Conveying my sexual interest through sex talk and have her be more fund of me through deep dive?
- At peak conversation, move again towards a place for lay (if possible)?

With hb8blonde, if we say I wanted to get to her place or a lay somewhere in an alley. How'd be the smoothest way to convey and do it? Because I feel kind of clueless on this sticking point.
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
There is no easy way to get rid of Beta mentality. If you are a guy say 20-25 years old, you were conditioned to be Nice/compliant Guy for the past 15-20 years, day after day... From your parents, in schools, by watching TV, even most of your friend are Beta... you are simply living in strong Beta frame. The Beta frame feels natural to you (90+ percent of guys), and you just won't un-do it overnight... Imagine you are a guy, 30-40 years old living in Beta frame for so many years...

What is worse is, that we are constantly flooded by this fucking frame: at work, among friends, even at home... It takes active effort to get rid of the Beta mentality, you simply have to create totally different frame. Another thing, once you start changing this frame, e.g. once you start becoming more dominant, people will notice. Your family will notice, your friends will notice... You may even easily lose some friends that you knew for 15+ years, because you are becoming a different person... Well, you are the same person, except with different behavior...

So you can attack this fucking Beta frame on several levels. I know I'm repeating myself, but I simply don't see another ways:

* Change your belief system through affirmations; you want to be more dominant, more independent, make more decisions, be more leading...

* Learn everything about Nice Guy, how does he behave, what does he do and so on, then distance yourself from that frame. Perhaps even began to hate the Nice Guy behavior and beliefs for a while, just so you can get the right edge...

* Pump up your adrenaline and testosterone. Lift those fucking weights, there are no excuses. Leave excuses for pussies. Eat well and healthy diet (including eggs and beef; avoid sugars and sweets, avoid all sodas,...). Do masculine things.

* Distance yourself from your Beta friends. It might be painful because these guys are the only people you feel comfortable with to be around - and perhaps that's the reason to become distant. It might be difficult because you could easily find yourself to be alone. Well, let it be then, or find friends among more dominant guys...

* Accept full responsibility for your life and for what you are doing. It is your life, your decisions, and you live it your way. Don't let anyone tell you how to live. You will also make mistakes. Take ownership of these mistakes, stop blaming others for what is happening in your life. You are an adult now, perhaps your childhood wasn't the best - but now your life is only in your hands... Stop playing a victim and deal with it...

* No need to become Alpha, but learn from Alpha males - how they behave, what and how they do things, how they talk. Learn from actors who play alpha roles, learn from bosses and leaders in your community... Many times they are fast, efficient, calm and determined. They have passion for what they do, they love what are they doing. Many times they work hard and they excel in some field(s) - that is how they become leaders...

* You want to be more horny. Minimize porn, minimize jerking off. You don't need to go crazy, orgasms are healthy for your mind, and frequent ejaculations are actually protective of your prostate. It's probably more complicated topic because it relates to addiction, impotence, and overall desire for females, but as long as you can rely on your boner to get hard and you get horny enough to go after females, you should be ok. So yes, jerk off, but keep it within some reasonable limit... This is probably one of these "in moderation" thing, the best is not too much and not too little either...

* Similarly like above, believe that you are sexy man. Believe that you can have sex fast even with girl you've just met. Go overboard, believe that you are the sexiest MF on this planet

* When you go out to see a girl, make it a mission. Have a plan what to do. Seek openings, seek opportunities to move forward. Two steps forward, she gives you resistance - one step back, cool off, then another two steps forward. Create some sort of pre-planed steps for yourself: Good vibes >> sex talks >> touching >> kissing >> suggesting going to your place >> finish with sex. The steps don't have to be in the order, for example, sometimes you can even skip good vibes and sex talk, you can invite her directly to your place and have sex - without even kissing the girl. A good way to see it is, be simply decided to have sex BEFORE you meet her. Getting laid is your destination, and you are just seeking easiest/effortless way to get there... Sometimes the simplest way is the best, you cut off all the deep diving and great vibes, and you simply invite her home. And she goes... I'm just saying this because guys can take the girl home, they get her half naked - and then they stop. No, be decided to go all the way...

* Accept full responsibility for the interaction. It is what YOU want, not what she wants. YOU want to get laid, so be decided to go all the way. Don't leave it up to her, you have to do it. Again, decide BEFORE you meet her. You don't want to entertain her, you don't want to fool around, you don't want to hang around. Accept that there are only two outcomes: Either sex or she will reject your fast effort. If you see that she is almost rejecting you, you pull back, give her some space - then move forward again...

* Don't worry about being too sexual or not enough sexual. Just the fact that you are a guy who is pushing for sex, even the moment you mention that you want to take her home, she will will get it right there. She is not stupid, she'll knows what you want right away. You can even easily observe her reactions in her face, the moment you mention it the moment she knows...

* Be ready for rejections, be ready to walk away from that particular girl. Another difficult thing to do because girls ARE sweet and sexy, thus it is very difficult to walk away from them. But that's exactly what you need to master so you can keep emotional distance...

* Don't look for perfect time to move forward, don't wait for peek of conversations. Don't look for perfect seduction. Some vibes, some deep diving, she is already talking about sex - shift the gear and move forward to another step....


Keep repeating over and over, it is simply a new frame and it takes time to get used to it... Hope it helps
 

Man-O

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
182
Hear you. I do at least half of it 100%.
I go out solo and when I'm not, usually sitting with them I'd just say "fck this, I go over and approach those girls"
Eat healthy
Work out
Rejection mindset.
I try to kino and escalate much more. I have much more hand holding now after watching GLL who is very aggressive imo.


Accepting full responsibility I haven't done yet as I'm still lazy with achieving my life goals (guess it partly comes with being the youngest in a big family)

What I would like is to see how a great seducer move around (I've watched Willy Beck and GLL lately and it has helped).

I force myself to move them when the interaction is between 2-5 mins old. I kino much more and make compliance tests. Tonight I tried to kiss a girl but since her friends could see us, she shoved my face away with the hand. I just shrugged it off and asked for her number instead and kept on vibing. Note: This girl had tinder too and she responded to first text. Same night (today) I end up with 4 other numbers and my record was 3 before that. Being a bit more aggressive and caring less rly helps but I guess it'll take some time.

Till next week I'll figure out 3-5 missions I gotta do when out and plan my 2 upcoming dates like you mentioned (have planned it roughly but I suppose I need more). Take it step by step and keep pushing it. My kino has been too much beta I've realized now (usually a little nudge or stroke on their back or shoulder because I was super scared of cb's). Thx again :)
 
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