FR After work DG

[Orgasmatron]

Went for walk after work, it was a nice evening, so went to Princes Street Gardens at the Scott Monument. This seems to be the place to meet girls who are just hanging about.

So, walked past cool-looking young brunette sitting on park bench, not doing anything in particular.

Wearing a lot of black, that seems to be a thing with me, she's from Wales, not Eastern Europe, so that's new!
Incidentally, I'm going to Prague for a holiday in a few months so no doubt I'll meet some Eastern European girls there!

I checked her out when I walked past, she looked at me and gave a nervous half-smile, which I thought was interesting. I walked on a bit, not sure if I would approach or not and hung about for a bit in an area behind and to the side where she was sitting. She looked around after a short while, I think she may have done that twice. Anyway, I can't not approach now, after the IOIs, I'd just be very annoyed with myself if I didn't. But I was still hesitant, so moved a bit to be within easy eyeshot and my phone became very interesting as I tried to chicken out. I think there may have been some hair playing and there was some phone looking at. So anyway, in I went...

Can't remember my opener, it wasn't super direct, something about her looking cool, and she had an interesting jacket in, so I said I liked her jacket. that went down well.

I didn't give any compliments after that. I still don't understand the compliments rules. How they are earned or not. I don't know. But I know I'm not supposed to give them, or something like that.

Asked her what she was up to and some logistics sort of questions. She is an art student, mentioned at some point that she was 19, didn't ask my age, I'm obviously a good bit older than her (42, but look 35), tbh I thought she was older than that. I'm not good at estimating girl's ages, and this will no doubt become a problem at some point.

Anyway, art student and new in town gave me something to work with, so I became the guy who knows where all the good places to go out and art galleries are, asked about what kind of art she does, and other stuff like that. there was smiling and laughing, so I figure that's always a good sign.

A couple of interesting things.

Asked me where I lived in the city,

• Is this logistics from her, or just reciprocating my questions about where she stays?

Asked me some stuff about the city

• I'm posited as this knowledgeable guy - good to play on if your older I guess
• Is she just asking someone who lives here stuff about the city she's just moved to?
• Or, is this a test to prove myself in some way?

She asked me about some bars to visit.
She said that maybe I could show her some good bars to go to

• Is she suggesting I should ask her out?

We talked about smoking. We were both smoking cigarettes (both hand rolled, the best kind) and I said something about when I was at uni, everyone I knew smoked, but students all seemed to have stopped smoking these days, people don't seem to think it's cool anymore

• And she said something like "oh, no, well not me, I'm not going to stop" in a kindof defensive way.
• I wondered if she was trying to prove she was cool to me?

Also, small side point

• I'm need to quit smoking, it's really bad for you
• But I seem to keep meeting girls from it, so I do have a dilemma

It started to rain after a while so I said "do you want to get a drink together sometime?"

I know - I shouldn't ask, I should say "we should get a drink together", but asking seemed more appropriate at the time, I don't know why.

But she replied "a drink, how do you mean?" (another test, or genuine confusion??)

so I said "on a date" (confidently, like yes, that's obv what I mean, definitely a date)

Then she "well I'd better give you my number then" also, there was smiling

I think because I hadn't sexualised or stated much intent, that she wanted to make sure what 'a drink' meant. Maybe because I didn't give any compliments to say I thought she was cute, so she didn't know I thought she was cute. I don't understand the compliments rules thing. How do you earn them? I don't get it.

So, I think there wouldn't have been a 'yes' because of the lack of intent/sexualisation, if she hadn't already been giving me clues that she was into me, Of course, that's if my IOI, and her showing interest assumptions are correct

Also, I think there may be a high chance of flake or no text reply given this

I didn't text her there and then, I'm not doing that anymore, did text this about an hour 15 mins after meeting:

"Hi Aisha, great to meet you earlier Andrew

no reply - but I don't think that's anything to worry about
Before anyone says - it is her real number, she comes up on Whattsapp with her name and an arty picture thing, so it checks out.

Anyway, I know I need to state intent better and sexualise things. Just don't really know how yet.

Also, eye contact is difficult to do when you're sat side by side, so I need to find a way to do that better.

She mentioned a particular bar during the conversation when we talking about good bars to go to. Asked had I been there.
Sneaky Petes - described as: Loud, buzzing and compact late-night eclectic live music bar and dance club, with new band nights.

So, a good place to go out for a Saturday night, but I wonder is it a good place to take softly spoken art student girl on a date?
1. She suggested it, so I think go somewhere else
2. She's new in town, and I'm meant to be the guy who knows places in town, so maybe go somewhere else that she doesn't already know exists
3. Also, prob too noisy a place, not very intimate.
4. I can think of cool bars that would be better to go to, they are also a bit closer to my home
5. I do think though that cool city centre places are better for new student girl in town rather than quiet, nice but boring places near my home - city centre places are only 10-15 minutes walk away from my home and it's all downhill, so logistics from there aren't bad

Anyway, I might have a date with a 19-year-old art student. I'm not sure if I should be proud of myself or concerned.

My gut feeling is that she won't respond to any texts.

 

[Starboy]

I didn't give any compliments after that. I still don't understand the compliments rules. How they are earned or not. I don't know. But I know I'm not supposed to give them, or something like that.

Fuck what anyone else told you bro some people don't know what they're talking about and are not suited to giving advice online. Several coaches i've spoken to have taught me not to blindly trust people's advice online. This is what gets guys to starting doubting their actions and second guessing themselves.

It's ok to open with a compliment let's just get that out the way. Direct openers do NOT only get you BPD chicks and ugly low quality bitches. You probably know not to over compliment girls .Don't compliment a girl if when she's acting bored,like a bitch or brat, stuck up or in any other negative state. Otherwise you're providing empty validation. The best time to use it as a qualifier or as positive reinforcement. She shares something about herself or gives you compliance you can compliment her on that.

I was on a date with a girl who shared with me that she was a nurse and I commended her on her profession because it was an important role and I thought it was badass and it was well recieved. That's one way to qualify a girl . Or if there's something about a girl that you really like that just catches your attention you can call her out on it. If she went to the salon and got her hair straightened her out you can tell her you think it looks nice. Throw this belief that compliments are only for orbiting beta simps in the trash.

 

[Orgasmatron]

Fuck what anyone else told you bro some people don't know what they're talking about and are not suited to giving advice online. Several coaches i've spoken to have taught me not to blindly trust people's advice online. This is what gets guys to starting doubting their actions and second guessing themselves.

Exactly, that's the thing. On the one hand, some guys who apparently know what they're talking about say do this, and another lot, who also apparently know what they're talking about say, do the opposite.

There are also assumptions that people will naturally make about me. So, I'm new to this, so I don't know if people assume that I'm giving a compliment because I think it will make a girl like me. That sounds like a newb thing to do. You look nice, please like me. So I can see why someone might think that's what I'm doing.

I don't think that is what I'm doing though. Some girl isn't going to drop her panties for me just because I said she was pretty.

My reasoning is that it means she knows I'm talking to her because I'm into her. I'm open about it. I'm not being shy about it. And I'm not just saying banal, you're pretty typing things. I'm saying stuff that, I think has a bit more substance. I like something about you're character, or I've noticed and liked something that you've gone to some effort over, eg. clothes, hair, nail, earings, stuff like that.

Like you're saying with her being a nurse - good character thing, you've chosen to do a tough job. helping other people, that's really cool.
Or with the hair thing - hey I genuinely like a thing that you did to look nice.

I'm not going to say I like her hair if I don't

Also, how many guys actually even notice if she's got her hair done, or is wearing a nice perfume, so I figure I'm setting myself apart in that way too.

I guess simp guys, are just saying stupid stuff like you have such pretty eyes that don't really mean anything to her because she didn't actually do anything, she just has some eyes. Everyone likes to hear that they are attractive, but if that's all you can compliment someone on, then you can't be very observant, there must be other stuff you like about them too.

The no compliment thing just doesn't sit well with me. For instance, I tell people at work they are doing a good job, if they are, it helps to motivate and encourage people, so how is it different? I'm just trying to motivate and encourage a girl to do something, there's a different context sure, but surely I can use a compliment as a positive reinforcement to encourage 'good behaviour'.

I get that I need to be tactical about it, and that's something I need to learn.

So as I see it, if I do it right, it builds rapport and can encourage and motivate her to do things I want her to do.

By qualify her - do you mean that you're basically saying "okay, you are good enough to talk to me"?