You might have a problem, and the good thing is that you are aware of it. The problem is called addiction. Some people (probably most) can drink here and there and they never get addicted to alcohol or other substances. They could easily go months without drinking alcohol.
Other people are not so fortunate, they have the need to drink... What usually happens is that they start with lower amounts, say 1-2 times per week, and as the time goes they get used to it and their use increases substantially, they drink 5-6 days a week, and more and more... One they they wake up, they try to stop, and they realize that it is not so easy - they get severe cravings, withdrawal symptoms, all they know is that they want to drink again so they can feel better again... Their brain became addicted....
It is easy for people who are not addicted to say "just stop, quit it". However, it is not easy to say the same thing for persons who are addicted - they want to stop on their own but they can't do so... They keep doing the same, they keep repeating to themselves that they don't have a problem, and they keep drinking more and more... Until they wake up one day and they are full blown addicts...
I believe that your brain is developing tolerance to alcohol. You drink and feel good. You don't drink and your vibes are off, you don't feel so good - so naturally you want to drink more again so you can feel better... It is a trap, loop that is difficult to escape, for some even impossible...
So good things are that you are aware of this and that you want to stop. Many people are in denial, they don even admit that they have a problem, until it is too late...
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So here is couple of suggestions:
- Get educated about addiction, there is lots of good material online. You and EVERYBODY else (even if not addicted) would benefit from going to Alcoholic Anonymous, even just 2-3 times. Just sit there and listen to their life stories, you don't have to say one word... It is an eye opening experience, there is lots of great people with good background whose life was destroyed because of alcohol or drugs...
- Understand that many people who are addicted have underlying depression and anxiety. They simply and unknowingly self medicate themselves: he feels anxious so he takes Xanax to calm himself down. He feels in a bad mood so he drinks, believing that drinking makes him feel better... Again, it's a trap. Many times the person needs to deal with both issues, with the depression as well as with the addiction... Also, some people might have lots of unresolved issues in their life, they have some trauma, their loved one died and they can't deal with it, they were abused, bullied, raped...
- Understand that there is a thing called cross-addiction. People usually start with something silly, such as cannabis. Smoking pot here and there, sure, most do it. BUT, people who have addictive personalities don't stop there. They add alcohol, cocaine And other stuff... They realize that they have a problem, so they try to stop alcohol - and they start with Xanax. They get tired of Xanax so they switch to something else... They stop using for a whole, but now they start over-eating, because eating makes them feel so good... It is a viscous cycle... That's why it is wise not to even start with any of that crap, we all want to believe that we don't have any problem, but the reality may be different...
- Don't try to be a hero, don't fight it on your own. One of the biggest realizations is to find out that addiction is much stronger than you, that it is more powerful than you... It is simply you against your brain that is doing what it thinks it loves... Get help, talk to your family about it, to your friends, go to the AA as mentioned above, talk to professionals if you have to... Create a social circle of SOBER people, spent time with them, and avoid people who drink... Change the environment in which you drink. Stop going to night parties, learn day game...
- Develop good HABITS. You have to have escape road. Usually addicted people who have cravings don't have any ways to deal with it. They just go and they start drinking because it makes hem feel good. So you have to recognize your cravings and what triggers it: It might be your best friend, you mom who pisses you off, bad grades, thousands of other things.... You want to stop but your friend shows up every Friday and Saturday and wants to have just one drink. Out of that one drink it is then a 4 day weekend, one drink after another, nonstop binging... Well, you have to cut off your best friend or whatever triggers your drinking. Go to fitness, start lifting weights instead, I'm not repeating it 10,000 times just for the heck of it, it is literally the best thing you can do for yourself... Use your time wisely...
