Alex journal

[Stark]

Back in my groove with approaching.

Did 7 approaches today whilst taking breaks from work, i had a very slow work day. These approaches are perfect for me because i work in the busy corporate part of the city, and I wear a suit/tie to work, so always dressed sharp.

7 approaches, 2 numbers, 1 insta.

I love approaching while dressed in sharp formals. Girls perceive you as the boss—the sexy guy with social awareness. All bonus points

2. Convinced now that the best way is to just make something up on the spot rather than having a prepared line. the authenticity it carries really helps, even if that includes pauses / stutters

Based on our discussion earlier in this thread, I tweaked my opening style and the results are stellar. Glad you're experiencing the same

Got a few dates lined up this weekend, all from cold approach.

Good stuff!

 

[Marty]

In that pause I'm almost searching to find the words. In fact I actually am searching for the words ...

He'll approach a girl with a 'Hi' and then take ages to say the next words.

He was trying to come up with a genuine opener tailor-made for her.

I noticed that by saying 'Hi' and taking your time, you create an open loop in her mind.

She's put in a suspended state.

She's eager to see what's coming next.

His DGAF attitude reeled them in big time.

He just had to say 'Hi' and trusted himself to create an observational opener 'after' opening her.

I noticed that girls almost always STOP when he did this long pregnant pause. They just keep staring at him

I think this is genius.

I think this is genius too.

 

[alexlaguma]

Another lay last night. 3 in 9 days . Nice way to blast out of a relatively long dry spell.

This was a girl I met in a bar a few weeks ago. I was with a few mate, really busy bar, just having a beer chatting shit, not running game. Anyway she walks past our group with 2 friends, and I just instantly put my hand out and stopped her and started talking. Can't even remember what I said. But somehow we ended up talking about getting engaged, having her friends as bridesmaids etc. It was all fun and smooth. In fact the guys I was (who couldn't hear the convo) asked me afterwards how I knew the girls. I guess from the outside it looked like we were old friends who had bumped into each other.

Anyway, took a few weeks to set up the date. But met for wine last night at a bar. Awkward start cus she was majorly late and we were seated opposite each other in almost a restaurant type setting. But there was good vibes, good banter. You had to get up to pour yourself wine from dispensers, so used this as an opportunity for touch. Eventually the couple next to us, who were in a corner seat, ended up leaving, so we jumped in there. And we were kissing within about 5 mins of that.

After a couple wines she said "do you want another one" to which i said lets just grab a bottle and go back to mine. Minimal resistance. Got back to mine, all went good, great sex. She has fuck buddy potentially but not MLTR cus shes a bit crazy.

Only negative for me, not sure if others get this, I literally can't sleep with girls in my bed lol. Like I just can't get to sleep. I think its cus i've been single so long and sleep is so routine orientated for me, that when there is another body lying next to me I just can't sleep. And I'm noticing that mostly always girls want to stay over after sex. So I end up with a shit nights sleep. But I shouldn't be complaining haha.

Anyway, want to get a good days worth of solid day game in tomorrow to give me lots of options for next week. Feel like I'm making good progress.

One thing I am noticing, with the city I'm in, unless you're doing night game and getting same night lays, it can take quite a while for leads to materialise. Like I'm texting girls right now who I number closed a month ago. Everyone is just so busy that lining shit up can take a while. But i'm learning that its fine, normal, no need to rush / chase.

Also - I had a bit of an experiment last year where I was convinced that a two date model (coffee first, then drinks second) was the way forward. A few people including told me it wasn't optimal but I pursued it anyway. I can now say I was wrong. Much better to push (or wait) for the drinks date, and then try to lay on the first night. The coffee was just introducing unnecessary complications / steps.

building some good momentum now. hope to get another one in next week

 

[Atlas IV]

Smashing it again! Great to see it bro.

Dry spells seem to have a slingshot effect that sharpens the senses and leads to high momentum when you properly channel the sexual energy. It's like you have to go through the trough of desperation to get back into high momentum again. At least that's what I've found.

It's a good mindset anyway, cos it's like you're either smashing it and enjoying the fruits of success, or you're going through a period of sharpening that will ultimately make you a better seducer. Win-win.

 

[alexlaguma]

Had a bit of a frustrating day.

Got a text from a girl that I've been working for a while. Trying to set up a date for later this week and she's hit me with the "yeh, but ngl I think our vibe feels more like friends".

So fucking frustrating, and its not the first time this has happened to me over the last 6 months - a year. The thing is , this always seems to happen when its a girl that I'm more interested / invested in than usual. It never happens with the girls that I just don't really spend much time thinking about.

Its like whenever there is a girl that I mentally put into the "potential wifey" category, I seem to fuck it up. I really need to get to the nuts and bolts of why this keeps happening. Like what am I actually doing differently.

With this particular girl, I've just been playing it over in my head, and its clear that I've treated her different than I would have done a usual girl that I'm just trying to fuck. For example ... we've been on 3 dates (one coffee, one cinema, one quick drink) which now that I'm writing this out just sounds fucking stupid. Why didn't I just insist on a drinks date or nothing? I'm going to these stupid dates with her building up boyfriend vibes. And then also ending up in these long text exchanges, which are often just talking about friendly topics like books etc.

I'm annoyed at myself cus when I sit and write it out its obvious what I've been doing wrong - I'm not playing the tested model of fast seduction, but rather I've been trying to sell myself as boyfriend material. And in the process I've managed to lose the sexual frame. She's right - we kinda do feel like friends now.

This is like a major sticking point for me, because I've lost a few girls now to this where I've got over-invested. I'm even more convinced than ever that my only solution to this is to achieve complete abundance. To get to the point where I never act like this because its just not fucking necessary, I've got so many options that I am completely unattached to outcome.

Gunna use this as fuel for being an absolute demon with approaches this week.

 

[OldGuy]

Note she said friend, not boyfriend. If someone asks if she has a boyfriend, she won't think of you and say yes. Real boyfriends have sex with her.

 

[alexlaguma]

Note she said friend, not boyfriend. If someone asks if she has a boyfriend, she won't think of you and say yes. Real boyfriends have sex with her.

yeh i get that. i'm not suggesting i'm in the boyfriend category, that ship has sailed with her comment.

What i'm saying is , the reason I've ended up in the friendzone is because i (subconsciously) tried to play the boyfriend game. Rather than my usual seduction game.

It was classic mistakes - going on stupid dates with no prospect of the lay, texting loads, sharing pics etc. And slowly the vibe got away from sexual (which it defo was initially) to now its like we're good friends. Maybe if I'd have fucked her within the first week of meeting it would've been different.

Anyway, I've just killed it for the time being. She sent me a text saying i feel like our vibes is friends blah blah. I just replied "nah" and have left it at that. She sent me like a confused emoji face. I aint even gunna bother - its dead. Move on.

 

[Atlas IV]

Happens to the best of us bro.

I got hard oneitus with the fourth girl in my report a couple of weeks back. Felt amazing chemistry with her like I haven't had with many girls. Ended up doing the same sort of thing - taking her on these long nice dates, but never managing to get to sex. She kept telling me that I don't know her well enough, we haven't spent enough time together, etc. But after too long I realized she was gaslighting me about that, and I think it was more about the power dynamic - she wanted to keep sex on the table to keep stringing me along. In the end, I gave up and we haven't talked since.

These are good reference points though, ultimately encouraging us to move faster with girls even the ones we feel that chemistry. It sounds like you felt that with this one too.

Anyway, I've just killed it for the time being. She sent me a text saying i feel like our vibes is friends blah blah. I just replied "nah" and have left it at that. She sent me like a confused emoji face. I aint even gunna bother - its dead. Move on.

Ball in her court - that's the way. She might change her mind, might not. Either way, more hoes to lay!

 

[bkw]

Had a bit of a frustrating day.

Got a text from a girl that I've been working for a while. Trying to set up a date for later this week and she's hit me with the "yeh, but ngl I think our vibe feels more like friends".

So fucking frustrating, and its not the first time this has happened to me over the last 6 months - a year. The thing is , this always seems to happen when its a girl that I'm more interested / invested in than usual. It never happens with the girls that I just don't really spend much time thinking about.

Its like whenever there is a girl that I mentally put into the "potential wifey" category, I seem to fuck it up. I really need to get to the nuts and bolts of why this keeps happening. Like what am I actually doing differently.

With this particular girl, I've just been playing it over in my head, and its clear that I've treated her different than I would have done a usual girl that I'm just trying to fuck. For example ... we've been on 3 dates (one coffee, one cinema, one quick drink) which now that I'm writing this out just sounds fucking stupid. Why didn't I just insist on a drinks date or nothing? I'm going to these stupid dates with her building up boyfriend vibes. And then also ending up in these long text exchanges, which are often just talking about friendly topics like books etc.

I'm annoyed at myself cus when I sit and write it out its obvious what I've been doing wrong - I'm not playing the tested model of fast seduction, but rather I've been trying to sell myself as boyfriend material. And in the process I've managed to lose the sexual frame. She's right - we kinda do feel like friends now.

This is like a major sticking point for me, because I've lost a few girls now to this where I've got over-invested. I'm even more convinced than ever that my only solution to this is to achieve complete abundance. To get to the point where I never act like this because its just not fucking necessary, I've got so many options that I am completely unattached to outcome.

Gunna use this as fuel for being an absolute demon with approaches this week.

I have to say, this is very good self-awareness. Kudos on you for noticing this. Yes, the long text chats and three dates doing cinema, coffee and a quick drink, talking about books and shit, not ideal. If I’m not escalating by second date then I feel I’m risking it. If she comes out on the second date then that’s very high compliance as she made up her mind after the first date she wants to see you again. With that compliance you should make it “man-to-woman” and set the sexual frame if that’s your goal. My two cents anway

 

[alexlaguma]

Downloaded Hinge last week and have had quite a bit of matches and success so far in terms of converting to phone numbers. Been watching a few videos by that guy Alex (playing with fire) and his texting style is working quite well for me. Key tenets are keep the messages short, mix between banter / normal chat, and always move things forward. Also introduce the 'we' frame early on - he has lots of good examples of how to do that.

Anyway - had a funny hinge date last night. Matched this girl, set the date up really quickly after a bit of back and forth. She just my type (short / blonde).

So she turns up to the date, and I greet her and ask her some innocent question like where she lives or something like that. She responds "oh we're going to pretend we don't know each other are we?" . And I'm thinking .... WTF ... who is she? I literally have no idea who she is.

Anyway she keeps pressing it and thinks that I am pretending! She genuinely thinks that I know who she is. I'm racking my brains but don't remember lol. So I just tell her I've got a terrible memory and she will need to remind me. So she explains, a couple of weeks ago I came up to her outside my local train station and told her she looks pretty etc. In the back of my mind I'm thinking "yeh that sounds like me lol". But I play it cool. Actually I wasn't quite sure how to play this ... because she dropped the old "its probably cus you do it all the time thats why you don't remember". I think i just kinda said nah and ignored that comment.

Anyway, date went well and i'm pretty certain the fact I had tried to daygame her was why she was so eager/keen to come on the date in the first place. No first night lay because of logistics and i didn't push because I had to be up super early, but definitely potential there.

Going away on holiday in a few days so going to try and get a good solid 10 day game approaches in tomorrow to build momentum.

Still on 3 lays for the year. Not amazing but not the worst. Got a few potentials that I'm working on.

 

[alexlaguma]

Another lay last night. On 4 for the year. This one was straight from hinge to my apartment, easy work.

Getting v good results from daygame in terms of numbers, but quite a few flakes. Been a little bit sloppy with some of my texting because I've got so many options on the go at the moment.

Weather here has been temperamental as fuck, so haven't been able to get as many approaches in as possible. I'm trying to get into the mindset of having 4 approaches a day as my benchmark , and if I don't do that I should be disappointed.

 

[alexlaguma]

Another lay last night, 5 for the year.

Pretty straight forward. 2nd date. Went for a couple drinks. Initial table wasn't great, so i bounced her to a sofa where we could sit next to each other. Had 2 drinks, lots of touch etc. Eventually i said "you gotta be up early tomorrow?" she said no, so I was like "wanna come have a glass of wine at mine?" and she was like "yeh ok". I thought fck me that was easy lol.

Walked back to mine, bought a bottle of wine. Got into my flat, kissed her and we just completely skipped the wine and got down to business.

Was good, she's probably hottest girl i've slept with for a while. Potential rotation material.

Have another 2nd date on sunday, hopefully that is number 6 for the year.

Need to get some more DG in this weekend. Had a few flakes recently cus I've been busy and dropped the ball with texting.

 

[alexlaguma]

Had a decent few weeks with lays, think I'm up to 9 for the year at the moment.

Starting to think that I'm just not a 'rotation' guy ... I usually get bored after 2/3 times and this is exactly what happened with a girl recently. Slept with her a few times in short succession, she started getting super into me and dropping BF/GF hints, so I just backed away and now i'm not interested anymore.

Anyway, I just went for a run and thought I'd try get some approaches in on my way back. I did 4 approaches and got 1 number, here's some observations -

Approach 1 - girl walked past me in shades and she was looking super fucking hot, well dressed, you know like when a girl just looks like she is hot and she fucking knows it. And my AA kinda kicked in and I bottled it. But then I thought, no fuck that, why are you doubting yourself. So I followed her. Was about to approach, AGAIN my AA kicked in and I kind of bottled it again. But I carried on walking and just said to myself nah fuck this I'm doing it I don't care. So I approached her, she took off her shades. Her face wasn't as hot as her body, can't lie. But she was very chill and confident. And nice to be fair. We chatted for a bit, had a bit of banter, seeded a date, grabbed her number and got out of there. Life lesson - don't judge a book by its cover. You have literally NO IDEA what they are going to be like. Only way to find out is too approach.

Approach 2 - walked past a girl just exactly my type. For some reason with these girls my confidence just goes through the roof lol. I did a really clean approach, she loved it and smiled but said he had a BF.

Approach 3 - walked past a girl, not exactly my type but super hot. Did the same thing. She was super flattered but said she had a BF. All good.

Approach 4 - was kinda near my apartment, maybe like 10 mins walk away, and stopped a girl. It was already a botched approach because she had her headphones in and she literally jumped when I went to stop her, she was shit scared lol. Anyway, then after a minute she goes "Don't you live in (my apartment building)?" . So I said yeh I do. Then she was like oh right ... you know X don't you? X being a girl that I day-gamed a few weeks back, took out for a coffee, set up a second date only for her to completely disappear / stop responding. Anyway I kinda panicked and just denied knowing her, and then I bounced out of there. So I'm kinda thinking that maybe I'm getting a rep in and around the building for cold approach. Which is not great. But at the same time, WTF am i supposed to do.

I'm thinking maybe I should do my approaches just a tiny bit away from my apartment, but then at the same time, is it really that big a deal? I don't wanna use that as some limited belief / reason I shouldn't approach when I see a hot girl.

Thoughts ??

 

[Atlas IV]

Anyway I kinda panicked and just denied knowing her, and then I bounced out of there. So I'm kinda thinking that maybe I'm getting a rep in and around the building for cold approach. Which is not great. But at the same time, WTF am i supposed to do.

I'm thinking maybe I should do my approaches just a tiny bit away from my apartment, but then at the same time, is it really that big a deal? I don't wanna use that as some limited belief / reason I shouldn't approach when I see a hot girl.

Lol this happened to me like 3 times in Rio because I was approaching a lot of girls in one neighbourhood, and they all seemed to know each other.

I was just like "oh yeah, we totally met! She's cool. You're friends with her too?" Just acting like it's no big deal. A couple of times it really was no big deal, they'd just seen me with the girl in question and assumed we were friends. The other time though they were actually roommates, so that didn't work out (they both unfollowed me after finding out I'd approached them both lol).

I don't think you need to assume the worst, she might have just seen you with her or heard something about you. Definitely wouldn't make it a reason not to approach.