Almost got in a fight with a friend due to my approach to women

[Qielli]

Hey guys! I've been having decent success with girls lately and Girlschase has certainly helped out with that a lot. Here's a big thanks to all the people posting on the site and the forum!
I'm seeing a girl casually at the moment and have some dates planned out with other girls that I like. I still mess things up quite often, but I tend to just pick myself up, try to learn from it and ultimately succeed.

Today, though, something happened, that made me question some things I've done in the past couple weeks.

I was talking to a friend of mine and his girlfriend and something she said spiked my interest about how old she was in relation to me, so I conversationally asked her about her age (0 flirting/speciall attention to her involved). She countered with asking my age, which I told her, and then she told me hers. The three of us talk some more and then my friend starts lecturing me:
"Alright, generally with girls, you never want to ask them their age. If you ever do, there goes any chance you had with her."
I tell him I respectfully disagree as I almost always ask the girls that I meet their age at some point and to my knowledge this has never been a problem. Somehow this becomes an argument. At some point he suddenly grabs me and starts telling me how he's going to mess me up. He tells me that he hates how I've been acting like an idiot towards girls lately. We exchange a few heated words, but then I realise that it'd be really stupid to start a fight and that I don't want to fight my friend and I tell him that. Our friends pull us apart and he ends up being dragged outside to blow off steam. His girlfriend quickly comes back to take their things, bids us good night and they leave.

Now, I talked to my friends after that and they all agreed that it was him who was acting like a jerk and that he started it. They said that they've gotten into arguments with him too (though no fighting) and that he's overworked lately and also has been sorting out some personal stuff with his girlfriend.
However, they also told me, that he's been telling them, how he's lately been frustrated with some of my actions towards some girls. Someone said that supposedly he hates my "antisocial behavior". So I told them that I never meant any wrong, explained myself in a few situations and talked to them about it quite openly to try and find out what was the matter to see if I'm really doing something stupid or not. These are guys who don't have much experience with girls, but they mostly seemed to be on my side and told me that it's between me and the girls and noone should intervene.

Have any of you experienced something similar to this? The issue is that I'm quite agressive and forward with girls, especially compared to a lot of other guys in this social circle, who are generally extremely passive. I'd like to know if some of these situations/consequences just happen naturally to people who try to get good at seduction/meet a lot of girls or if I really should tone things down a bit.

Here are some of the things that happened recently and that were the subject of gossip about me (some of which probably made my friend angry):

1) I'm generally known to be seducing/trying to seduce lots of different girls.
2) I was talking to a very attractive girl (that everyone wants) in a bar in front of everyone and I touched her arm/shoulder while doing so (she seemed to react positively).
3) Another girl asked me out and gave me her number and another day (before we went on a date) saw me asking one of her good friends for a number too (which I ended up getting). She didn't comment on it negatively, but some people noticed the situation and spread rumours.
4) I walked home with girl from #2. I asked her out on a date (knowing I was like the 3rd guy that day) and she said yes after some banter, but didn't immediately want to give me her number and said she'd give it to me the next time I saw her. I saw a good chance to get it now, so I persisted. At this point she could just leave as we were both about to go different directions, but she didn't and stayed there with me instead, resisting softly but not walking away.
Finally, I say:
"Ok, so let ME give YOU my number instead!"
"I like that! Oh, but I'm not going to call your phone!", she says and takes out her phone. (it's a custom here to make a drop call to the person you get a number from so that they also get your number)
"We'll see about that, let me punch it in.", I say and extend my hand.
She voluntarily places her phone in my hand and I put my number in. I also put in my name and then I make a call to myself, so that I get her number. I smile at her and wish her a pleasant night and good luck with her exams while giving her phone back.
This all seemed in good fun to me, but turns out she ended up telling the guy who tried to hit me (he's her boss) and apparently either she didn't like me taking her number like that or the guy in question thought she didn't.

I'll be very thankful for all feedback on this.

 

[Eternity]

Roll solo next time. Drop the beta bitch boys, they might be jealous of your mysterious powers over women. It's natural yet annoying when they don't think like you. You are member of this forum, plenty of like minded people here.

 

[Drck]

Agree with Eternity, go solo. He is jealous and pissed that you are having success with girls, you probably nailed some girl that he wanted, now he is gonna "show you" and "teach you" how to behave with girls.

With the number, IMO you did too much. Persistence is good if she is interested, but it seems that she wasn't too much interested, you kinda forced yourself upon her by being too cocky. Just an impression...

 

[Ross]

For a lot of guys, this stuff can be infuriating.

They've been told all their life to act one way with a girl, and have completely bought into that. It may not work, but they fuel it by continually reinforcing that it's not their fault, it's a problem with the girls not appreciating them. Then the girls reinforce that being friendly and nice is the way to go, and they're stuck in this perpetual unhappiness.

Then this bad boy comes along and starts getting positive reactions from girls doing unorthodox things (i.e. things he believes shouldn't work on women) and he gets pissed off. He believes that it's not how guys should be acting around girls, and aims to stop you from doing it.

You can throw logic, results, or anything in these guys' face and it will only anger them further. The best course of action in this scenario would be to simply ignore his attempts at tooling your approaching with women. For example,

Him: Alright, generally with girls, you never want to ask them their age. If you ever do, there goes any chance you had with her.
You: What'd you say? (Make him repeat what he said. Much harder to be authoritative when you need to repeat yourself)
Him: Just don't ask girls their age. It's weird.
You: Silence -or- Cut towards a different topic.

If he continues persisting about it, go on a full offensive and push him into the moral wrong about the subject. But that doesn't seem to be the issue here; as long as he isn't constantly attempting to start shit about your approach to women, you should be fine in doing the above approach.

 

[robbies]

It's difficult to surmise the reasons for his hostility towards your other friends and you, without being actually there to gauge the body language, the tone of his language, and the vibe he gives off.

He may simply be grouchy because he is going through some serious, personal issues (depression, job issues, health, family, girlfriend, etc) that causes him to lash out at other people. It gives him no right to do this, to make other people as angry as he is. He can be angry but keep the anger to himself.

Like the other posters say, he may also be jealous that your skills as a seducer are far surpassing his skills as a white knight and a beta male. When Oprah Winfrey made the decision to lose weight, she noticed immediately hostility from her overweight friends. As a result, she had to find new friends that were supportive of her new goals. As the saying goes, you want to know where you are going in life? Take a look at your five closest friends.

What also may be happening is he has always been this way, and because you are growing as a person you are taking notice for the very first time. When I embarked on my own personal journey of self-growth, I finally became "unplugged from the Matrix." For the first time, I noticed just how depressed and sad my father is. (I had been sad for the longest time without ever knowing it.) There are other things, too, on what I mean by being unplugged, such as deciding to go into business for myself rather than playing the 8 to 5 daily grind of work, climbing the social-economical ladder for other people's companies, and basically realizing that by working I am only helping to fulfill other people's dreams rather than making my own dreams come true).

Lastly, that you are letting his actions and emotions affect you is a bad thing. I would minimize contact with him for a while, just to see if his overall attitude improves. If he is a very good friend, then you might want to do something to help him.

As a friend is fond of saying, there's God's plans, other people's plans, and your plans. The only thing you can change is your plans.

It's entirely up to you.

 

[daviddreamer]

Find new friends.

 

[Estate]

There's 2 possibilities here in my mind...

A very common one is just plain jealousy. I've encountered it too. I used to go out, drink with my buddies and then we'd all sulk off to get a cab together at 2am. When they saw me being more flirty, pushing the boundaries with women and having some success, they often passed some nasty remarks. Almost always they see everything wrong with the girl. For example, I briefly dated a fashion model last year (didn't get to keep her, game still needed work, haha), but in looks alone, she was a solid 10 in anyones book but one of my buddies torn her down behind her back telling me how he wouldn't touch her, and all the things wrong with her, etc...
Also, look, some of the stuff here involves pushing boundaries. Some of the guys I'm mentioning here often go to lenghts to bemoan how they are such "gentlemen" yet always get overlooked by women for the jerks. While we got along as friends, there began to be more digs when they felt was was being less of my old "gentlemanly" self and more of a jerk (at least to their standards).

So the problem there is with them. They don't get it, and frankly, never will so don't let it phase you.

Now, the other option is something I've seen with one person I know in particular. Although we've never spoken about it, I know he's studied the "seduction arts" as he's put it. The problem is that he REALLY pushes is, and really is being a jerk. Everyone I know seems to end up having a conflict with him and our female friends think he's a creep. He took to adopting the "asshole" persona, trying to take charge, be more alpha than everyone, etc. The problem was that he just didn't really get what he read. Instead of just pushing boundaries, he was blowing right through them and being a dick to everyone but in his mind he was super cool and alpha and every women loved him....
I'm not saying this is what's happened in your case, but it's a fine line, just be sure you're calibrated enough to not push social boundaries with everyone you meet. That's a common problem I see in the communitiy.

 

[Smith]

This is interesting. Some of my friends have noticed or heard that I've been doing well with women, and they always teased me about how they wanna learn and asked me to show them, like they want proof that pick up is legit, and I knew that no amount of proof will convince them to do this shit. They just ain't got the balls. So I don't even bother taking them out with me. They are nice, funny guys, but I can see skepticism in their eyes when I told them that girls are everywhere, it's up to you to meet them.

Here's something I remember from the book How to win friends and influence people...you can't change what other people think, you can only let them discover it themselves. So no amount of arguments with your friend is going to change his opinion, just let him be. His problem is not yours.

- Smith

 

[Godsninja]

Wow, there's some really nice tips in the comments on here. Really like Estates, on not pushing social boundaries with everyone, cuz it's trying too hard. I'm guilty, and it feels weak.

There's some people who are stuck in the hierarchy mindset. Well, there are a lot actually. The problem is, when you have a good friend who is stuck up about his own level of finesse. I been in the same kinda boat, and there is nothing you can do to change his mind, unless you honestly believe. Given that he wanted to fight you though...no.

He see's himself as above you, and he grew up a specific way. He see's someone who he understands as below him, trying to explain to him how something that is physically (neurologically) hard wired into his brain (like a path in the woods taken by 1 million black rhinos), is wrong and/or not true.

He's been drinking, plus he has a girlfriend, so he's got emotions flying about how you really getting out there, not tied down (free), etc. This guy sounds like a fucking loser douchebag, no offense to your friends..

An old buddy tried to do something similar, and I haven't really talked to him since. He's txted me twice asking if I wanted to hangout, but I didn't bother, I already know.

Somehow this becomes an argument.

Don't ever try to argue with people that are hot heads. It's a waste of time. Be cool instead, and don't waste energy being this guys friend, unless he truly apologizes, and you see a change.