always be testing for compliance.

naturalmikey

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this is the number one indicator of how invested in you she is. when she stops complying she has lost at least some of her feelings for you. walk away first, even if it’s just a soft next.
 

Fuck This

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How about when she tests you for compliance?
She asked "Hey want a beer?"

I said "Yeah I think I'll have one more"

She" They are in the cooler over there. Get me one while you are there."

Me: "Ok I'll see you later..."
 

naturalmikey

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i use alex’s line of “you buy the first round i’ll buy the rest.” flip the script and get her complying.
 

Fluxcapacitor

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Dudes! Following up from fuck this: what do you do when she tests you for compliance and ya recent post with links to good articles about compliance. I know ya shouldn't comply but how do ya get around simple requests that make sense on a logical level.

Such as your sitting right next to her house keys, ya both about to leave an she asks if ya can get her keys? Socially I feel I should comply with this cause it doesn't put me out in any way and I don't think there's a graceful way to avoid doing it unless ya already started to move.

Are ya fine to comply here? Or is this going to chip away at the attraction a little? Thanks dudes!
 

Fluxcapacitor

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Dudes! Following up from fuck this: what do you do when she tests you for compliance and ya recent post with links to good articles about compliance. I know ya shouldn't comply but how do ya get around simple requests that make sense on a logical level.

Such as your sitting right next to her house keys, ya both about to leave an she asks if ya can get her keys? Socially I feel I should comply with this cause it doesn't put me out in any way and I don't think there's a graceful way to avoid doing it unless ya already started to move.

Are ya fine to comply here? Or is this going to chip away at the attraction a little? Thanks dudes!
 

Fuck This

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Keys next to you are no big deal..."it'll cost you a kiss"
 

naturalmikey

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create a quid pro quo situation. if you both comply you're both investing. far better than just you investing. but it's still okay to do nice things for people.

so if a girl is like would you grab my keys say yes but ask something of her too. so you could be like sure, but then i want you to tell me a joke. this puts or on the spot and forces her to qualify to you. you could also say of course that way you'll owe me a favor.

what girls are doing when they ask you to do little things that are considered polite is that they're framing you as someone they can use. you can do the same thing. you can ask girls for little stuff that would be impolite to say no to. reward her complying with sincere appreciation.
 

naturalmikey

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Fuck This said:
Keys next to you are no big deal..."it'll cost you a kiss"
this would have to be done very tongue in cheek. and then if she doesn't do it she's not complying. you want to build compliance ladders. a kiss is pretty close to the top of a compliance ladder. a chick isn't just going to comply to a kiss when she hasn't complied to anything else, especially if she's already put you in the frame of someone she can ask to do things for her.

without context this sounds terribly uncalibrated.
 

Fuck This

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naturalmikey said:
Fuck This said:
Keys next to you are no big deal..."it'll cost you a kiss"
this would have to be done very tongue in cheek. and then if she doesn't do it she's not complying. you want to build compliance ladders. a kiss is pretty close to the top of a compliance ladder. a chick isn't just going to comply to a kiss when she hasn't complied to anything else, especially if she's already put you in the frame of someone she can ask to do things for her.

without context this sounds terribly uncalibrated.
Well I kissed a woman I'd never met in person before 3.5 years ago and woke up with her this morning so your mileage may vary.

a woman won't leave her keys laying about if she feels uncomfortable or guarded about a man. The request to hand her her keys please is akin to "Please pass the salt" in my book. It is up to me as the man to set an effusive baseline and be ripe with physical affection in our interaction. I certainly wouldn't say it to a stranger, although the right one might just gobble it up . Suffice to say, I wouldn't say that to a woman who I thought would say "no".
 

Fluxcapacitor

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Fuck this and naturalmikey dudes! Both great replies and both suggest getting her to invest equally. I see where ya coming from naturalmikey about the kiss potentially being uncalibrated, for the situation I've dealt with this test it would have fitted an been calibrated.

The worst one a had recently was out in social circle where a girl a wasn't interested in asked if I'd mind her jacket while she went to the girls room. A was caught off guard an felt too polite to decline. Her friend who I did like asked me to look after hers. I teased an done it reluctantly playing saying what do ya think a am a coat room? A teased when they returned asking them for there tickets.

Although a reframed it an managed to tease them I hated complying but felt a had to due to social circle. Could a have handled this better?
 

naturalmikey

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Fuck This said:
naturalmikey said:
Fuck This said:
Keys next to you are no big deal..."it'll cost you a kiss"
this would have to be done very tongue in cheek. and then if she doesn't do it she's not complying. you want to build compliance ladders. a kiss is pretty close to the top of a compliance ladder. a chick isn't just going to comply to a kiss when she hasn't complied to anything else, especially if she's already put you in the frame of someone she can ask to do things for her.

without context this sounds terribly uncalibrated.
Well I kissed a woman I'd never met in person before 3.5 years ago and woke up with her this morning so your mileage may vary.

a woman won't leave her keys laying about if she feels uncomfortable or guarded about a man. The request to hand her her keys please is akin to "Please pass the salt" in my book. It is up to me as the man to set an effusive baseline and be ripe with physical affection in our interaction. I certainly wouldn't say it to a stranger, although the right one might just gobble it up . Suffice to say, I wouldn't say that to a woman who I thought would say "no".
i've fucked a girl in the bathroom within five minutes of meeting her before. doesn't mean that's gonna work very often. everything can work in context. but blindly telling a guy to respond to request for compliance with requesting a kiss is reckless advice.
 
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