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Am I being auto rejected? The girls seem to like me.

Freakester

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2024
Messages
49
Hello gents,

I've never written a report before, so let me know if it can be improved.
I'm also a bit rusty, so if you could point me to my mistakes, I'd be grateful.

Went to the club with my brother and mom last week because they wanted to freak out. It was the most popular club in that area.
The crowd was mixed. Middle-aged couples and mixed groups and few young folks like myself and my little bro. Lots of girl groups. Young, sexy ones.
The music, though, was loud and it was not a huge club. Two floors and a smoking area.
Conversation was impossible unless you were screaming in each other's ears.

That ticked me off the moment I set foot in it. But I decided to scout by making an excuse to grab a smoke.
I got a good idea of the layout and where I could approach without being in the spotlight.

Over the course of the night, I made about three aproaches, each lasting less than 10 minutes.

Approach 1 - Cutie in a black dress and resting bitch face
I was sitting at a table while my mom and bro danced on the floor. I was chilling and sipping my beer on a table next to the dance floor.
A girl group approaches my table from the left, as they exit the dancefloor.
Towards the very front of their group was a cutie. Cutie comes in towards my table, and stands next to me.
Realizing someone was next to me, I look towards her direction, and we make eye contact. I already knew it was on when we locked eyes.

One second passes, and as I was about to open my mouth and the words were on my tongue, she immediately turns and gives me her entire back in my face.

I was like damn. This girl is making it so hard. Does she think she is too hot for me?
I smile to myself, and a friend of hers gestures if she could sit on my table (cause she was tired). I nod, in a friendly manner, and offer her the seat. She sits.

Now the girls are talking amongst themselves. Cutie is quiet though. She must be having a bad day, I thought. She had a resting bitch face from the moment I saw her.

I get up and leave for a smoke again. I come back and the friend who was tired was sitting, but the other girls had gone to the dancefloor.
My brother then beckons me come to the dancefloor. I smile. He is a good dancer and was dead in the middle of the stage, dancing right next to cutie and her friends.

I am on the dance floor now, vibing with my bro. Me and cutie trade some situational physical contact. Her hands touch my shoulder. My hands touch her waist. Our legs collide sometime. But she is not taking the hint and not turning towards me - She is on the periphery of her group but faced mostly towards them and a little towards me. I don't worry and continue vibing with my bro again.
But after some time I get tired and stop (smoking does that boys - don't start it). And I have a bored look on my face. I thought I will go grab a smoke again.

I believe women are smart. Because one of cutie's friend realizes I got bored. She grabs cutie's hands and spins her to face me. It took me a moment to realize this. The booze, the nictotine, the energy loss due to dancing and the loud music overwhelmed my senses.
But the moment she spun her around, me and cutie make eye contact.

And then she buries her face in her hands.

Haha, so cute. Me and her friend start chuckling - it was just too cute.
Cutie notices and I think she became self-concious, and she turns her back on me again.

I eject at this point for my customary smoke. I was tired of her games.

Approach 2 - Mixed group - Weed smokers.

I got a lot into weed and there is something called a smoker's courtesy. If somebody asks you for a drag of your joint, you don't say no.
I have asked random strangers for a drag and never have been rejected. Weed smokers are some of the friendliest people on the planet.

I was smoking in the smoking zone. This was the best place to make an approach, because there was no music and had a more seductive vibe.

A mixed group of two girls and a guy come near my viscinity and this girl pulls a joint from her bag.
Now I got excited, since I hadn't smoked in a while.
I open.

Me: "Hey is that a joint?" (excited)
Her: "Yeah", (bitchy)
Me: "Can I have a drag?" I said it in the most bad-boy way possible. Sometimes, it just comes out from within me - I can't help it. I'm sure some of you can relate.
She nods three times, slowly, haughtily, breaking eye contact. As if I had asked her to vote for me in the next election.

I cringe a bit, but let the silence remain. Now she is trying to light the joint but is unable to. I take my lighter out of my pocket, and help her light it.
We get it after a few tries, the wind was blowing. I remark this joint is a bit of a trouble maker. But no response. So I remain silent.

She smokes and passes the joint to me. Now, the joint got crumpled inside her purse. So I straightened it, and made it tight so the flow would be better.

She qualifies.

"It was in my purse and it got fucked" (annoyed and bitchy). Screechy voice. You know, when she is annoyed at you for some reason, but she wont tell you why. That's how she sounded.

I take a drag and the flow is amazing. I notice the stuff is good so I ask "From where is this stuff from?"
She replies again in that bitchy and annoyed manner. "I don't know."

It was cute though. Haha.
But I was too overwhelmed with everything, so I decided to keep my mouth shut, finish my drags and eject.
Before I ejected, I experienced a state crash. Like I had asked for too much value without giving any in return. So I felt apologetic.
Said my thanks, but it was clear that I felt bad about asking her for it.
The guy who was with them smiled like a creep. I was angry for a moment, but I gave her back the joint and ejected.

Intermission with cutie again

I make my way back to the table, and cutie is sitting on my table and on my seat. Alone. With a resting bitch face and with her hand on her face. She really did not want to be in that club.

In my mind I hear, Attack boy. This is the best opportunity you will get.
I approach her, taking my time strolling through and upon getting close to my table, say "Hi" with a smile.
Cutie doesn't even look at me. LOL.

I raise one of my eyebrows and tap her on her elbow. She still ignores me.
I chuckle to myself and eject.

She had gone complete cold on me.

So, I go to the bathroom.

Approach 3 - When I heard KPOP and the Mother Hen

After pissing and washing my face, I thought of just getting another beer and calling it a night.
But then as I walk out of the washroom, there is this asian chick sitting alone, smoking vape. I remember I saw her, but she was boxed in by one of her friends - so I had discarded her as a target before.
But now she was alone. Again my horny mind says go talk to her.

I walk towards her and stop just near her table. And I ask, "Is that a vape?" with a smile. (Yeah, I know my openers are lame. I am rusty)
She nods. She looks friendly. Her walls were down and I could feel the vibe that she wants to talk to me.

So I say, "Could I have it for a while?". She gestures yeah sure why not.
First chick that I met that night that was cool.

I take it and take a few drags, give it back to her. "That was nice", I say. "What's your name?" in the most friendly way possible.
She says something, and I can't hear it. The music is too loud.
I raise my eyebrow, to convey I couldn't hear it. She says it again. I can't hear it again.

So, I lean forward, place one of my hands on her shoulder and place my right cheek next to her left cheek. You know, so she could scream in my ear ;)
Now, she is screaming in my ear. It was so loud, that I couldn't for the life of me get her name (it was also quite unusual).
The DJ was playing random shit, but in my mind all I could hear was Kpop. She gets a little excited.

The whole interaction had lasted for about two minutes until she was screaming her name in my ear.
Then, all of this happened in a New York minute.

I saw some chick looking at me. It was Cutie from approach 1 and saw me getting touchy with this other girl and her mouth flew open. How dare you?

I smiled at her and averted my gaze towards the bar.
And I saw the Mother Hen, marching towards me with two drinks in her hand. She sees me getting hot and heavy with her friend, and assumes the nastiest bitch face I have seen in a while.

I knew, I'm going to get cockblocked, but I wanted to see how.

As this girl was screaming her name in my ear, and I was about to get it, Mother Hen walks in right between us.
I pull back, and see if she would move so I could lean back again. But no she is blocking her friend from my view and standing there, with her back towards me.

I ejected.
I didn't have the energy to deal with all this. Even if it was salvageable, I knew it would be a tough battle.
As I was walking back, I noticed my fly was open. I had approached a chick with my zip open. That was a first and I just laughed.

And that was the end of my night.

Observations
  1. I think I am being auto rejected a lot. Or the girls are just rude. I can't tell which. Am I being too much of an asshole?
  2. I need to work on my openers a bit. I am rusty and just relying on whatever comes to my mind first.
  3. Maybe I should have escalated physically with Cutie (approach 1) by extending my hand and asking for a dance when she buried her face in her hands?
 
Last edited:

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,573
@Freakester,

Oh man, you went to a club with your MOM! That's wild. I can't imagine bringing my mother to a nightclub... hilarious that she and your little bro wanted to "freak out."

With these girls' reactions... is this an under-21 club or something? These girls sound way young.

The girl doing the eye-contact-then-insta-back-turn move, then later her friend spinning her to face you on the dance floor, then her hiding her face in her hands, all sounds like "young girl who's never been hit on in a nightclub before in her life" behavior. Maybe she liked you but felt too embarrassed about the approach. Maybe she didn't know HOW she felt about you but the whole "OMG, a boy is trying to talk to me in a club, what do I dooooooo??!?" thing was too much for her.

If it was me, I would gone with a "super inexperienced girl" cold read and just tried to get her comfortable and reassure her... "New to clubs? You're doing great! You should probably not hide your face in your hands though :) " Etc. (complicated by how loud it was there, of course..)

(her doing the jaw-drop later when she saw you with the Asian girl could be because she liked you... but you will also see inexperienced girls who are first trying their hands at club validation / getting club orbiters; if she thought she 'had' you, then saw you chatting up another girl, that's as much a rude awakening for her as if she liked you... actually probably more. Girls hate thinking they've got a guy who will validate them, only to find the dude actually doesn't care and will just drop them and move on from them)

The second and third girls... it is interesting you opening by just going up and asking for things.

I have run into guys who would do this, just go up and try to bum stuff off girls right from the get-go. I don't know how high odds of an opener it is... and you will definitely get girls who are resentful that they are being mooched off of... but the ones who hook seem to hook a lot harder than usual. Sort of a high risk, high reward opener style. Not sure if this is something you do a lot or you were just trying it out.

But yeah, you are going to get attainability issues there, because girls are going to think you are coming up to mooch off them, and not because you liked them / are attracted to them. Every guy I have known who was good at "mooch game" went heavy into qualifiers as soon as the girl complied. That game style is just (mooch) (qualify) (qualify) (mooch something else) (qualify more) (qualify more).

Really good at picking up submissive "nice girl" types who are eager to please and looking for a guy who will appreciate them for their giving nature.

Hope this was useful!

Chase
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
1,615
; if she thought she 'had' you, then saw you chatting up another girl, that's as much a rude awakening for her as if she liked you... actually probably more. Girls hate thinking they've got a guy who will validate them, only to find the dude actually doesn't care and will just drop them and move on from them)
Why is this so triggering for them? A couple of weeks ago I met an absolute stunner. She gave me an AI but it was really cocky and I was bored of my work so I went to the corner where she was sitting and engaged her.

However because the AI was cocky I wasnt immediately sold on her but we had a nice talk where she started to put up preventative walls. She is one of those girls who have incredible fundamentals clearly put in a lot of work and perhaps a mini celebrity type.

I got a bit bored with the walls and needed to continue to work anyway so I found a polite excuse to disengage. But I didnt do bad vibes or anything crazy. She acted butthurt here mentioning that indeed I can better run off to my work. I had great state that day due to good momentum. When I saw her leave the venue she gave me a last covert glance and I noticed with her walk that she was rattled. I am pretty sure she was not really interested and that she assumed I would be easy validation, but I didnt get the part where she got rattled.

Or in OPs situation that the girl drops her jaw which is probably due to shock. Last girl I had one itis for did that with me I saw it in the mirror of my car, this was many years ago
 

Freakester

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2024
Messages
49
Oh man, you went to a club with your MOM! That's wild. I can't imagine bringing my mother to a nightclub... hilarious that she and your little bro wanted to "freak out."
Yeah she and her friends like to party a lot haha. Me and bro tag along for some fun nights and go our seperate ways once we are inside the club.

With these girls' reactions... is this an under-21 club or something? These girls sound way young.

She was around 20-25 - which is around my age. In my experience 60% are inexperienced, and shy in this silly country of mine.

One girl asked me to write her a poem on her birthday once. They think guys are supposed to be like those princes in Disney movies.
She thought we were dating after a few nights together. And I was like what?


I'm a bit conflicted whether I should go indirect or direct on these girls. I've had success with direct while doing daygame in my college town back in the day. Some guys have suggested I run indirect openers - like asking for directions and stuff - which is kinda not in sync with me. Not sure about this.


(her doing the jaw-drop later when she saw you with the Asian girl could be because she liked you... but you will also see inexperienced girls who are first trying their hands at club validation / getting club orbiters; if she thought she 'had' you, then saw you chatting up another girl, th

Yeah could be. From what I felt from her vibe was that she had been dragged out by her friends and that she is not a party freak - but that could be my assumption because I am assuming attraction?

Really good at picking up submissive "nice girl" types who are eager to please and looking for a guy who will appreciate them for their giving nature.
Wow, haha I didnt know this was a style - because girls here are mostly cute and helpful like that - it works like a charm sometimes.


Btw @Chase - I've been a long time reader of your articles. Your explanations of female psychology are of tremendous value. I was really suprised and equally happy to get some feedback from you. Thanks a lot for everything over the years man.
 

Freakester

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 24, 2024
Messages
49
Why is this so triggering for them? A couple of weeks ago I met an absolute stunner. She gave me an AI but it was really cocky and I was bored of my work so I went to the corner where she was sitting and engaged her.

However because the AI was cocky I wasnt immediately sold on her but we had a nice talk where she started to put up preventative walls. She is one of those girls who have incredible fundamentals clearly put in a lot of work and perhaps a mini celebrity type.

I got a bit bored with the walls and needed to continue to work anyway so I found a polite excuse to disengage. But I didnt do bad vibes or anything crazy. She acted butthurt here mentioning that indeed I can better run off to my work. I had great state that day due to good momentum. When I saw her leave the venue she gave me a last covert glance and I noticed with her walk that she was rattled. I am pretty sure she was not really interested and that she assumed I would be easy validation, but I didnt get the part where she got rattled.

Or in OPs situation that the girl drops her jaw which is probably due to shock. Last girl I had one itis for did that with me I saw it in the mirror of my car, this was many years ago
Ah, females are VERY jealous creatures man. I've learnt about it the hard way haha.

Try hitting on a chick in front of your girlfriend. It works wonders for spicing things up in the bedroom later.
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,573
@Freakester,

She was around 20-25 - which is around my age. In my experience 60% are inexperienced, and shy in this silly country of mine.

One girl asked me to write her a poem on her birthday once. They think guys are supposed to be like those princes in Disney movies.
She thought we were dating after a few nights together. And I was like what?

Well, now I'm curious what country it is!

I'm a bit conflicted whether I should go indirect or direct on these girls. I've had success with direct while doing daygame in my college town back in the day. Some guys have suggested I run indirect openers - like asking for directions and stuff - which is kinda not in sync with me. Not sure about this.

Field testing's the answer.

Test the stuff that feels in-sync. Test the stuff that's outside your comfort zone and see if it surprises you (or... performs exactly as you fear it will).

Test enough, and stick with the stuff that gets you the best results.

Yeah could be. From what I felt from her vibe was that she had been dragged out by her friends and that she is not a party freak - but that could be my assumption because I am assuming attraction?

She doesn't need to be.

Could've been her first time ever in a club. "This RANDOM guy is hovering around me... new experience... WOW, I have a FAN! ... HUH? My fan is talking to ANOTHER girl??? But he was MY FAN?? Is he not really a FAN????"

Clubs are disconcerting environments for men AND women... when they're new to the scene!

Wow, haha I didnt know this was a style - because girls here are mostly cute and helpful like that - it works like a charm sometimes.

It definitely is a style!

Unfortunately, every guy I've known who used it was a dirt bag... lol.

BUT. You can take some of the tactics of this style and add them to your approach, even if you are NOT a dirt bag.

You just probably won't have the straight up "nothing but mooching & flattering" style down all the way through that the hardcore mooch-flatterers do :)

Btw @Chase - I've been a long time reader of your articles. Your explanations of female psychology are of tremendous value. I was really suprised and equally happy to get some feedback from you. Thanks a lot for everything over the years man.

Cheers, man! I am honored to have been of service.

You are most welcome.

Happy to see you out there implementing it!

Chase
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,573
@DarkKnight,

Why is this so triggering for them? A couple of weeks ago I met an absolute stunner. She gave me an AI but it was really cocky and I was bored of my work so I went to the corner where she was sitting and engaged her.

However because the AI was cocky I wasnt immediately sold on her but we had a nice talk where she started to put up preventative walls. She is one of those girls who have incredible fundamentals clearly put in a lot of work and perhaps a mini celebrity type.

I got a bit bored with the walls and needed to continue to work anyway so I found a polite excuse to disengage. But I didnt do bad vibes or anything crazy. She acted butthurt here mentioning that indeed I can better run off to my work. I had great state that day due to good momentum. When I saw her leave the venue she gave me a last covert glance and I noticed with her walk that she was rattled. I am pretty sure she was not really interested and that she assumed I would be easy validation, but I didnt get the part where she got rattled.

Or in OPs situation that the girl drops her jaw which is probably due to shock. Last girl I had one itis for did that with me I saw it in the mirror of my car, this was many years ago

It's down to personality types.

Some people don't care a whole lot about attention from other people, what people think of them, etc.

All girls want attention and validation, of course. But there's a large divide between the girls for whom it's "nice to have" vs. the girls for whom it is the stuff of life.

In the Enneagram model, these are basically your Type 2s and Type 3s. Type 2s want adulation... they want to feel loved, appreciated, and desired. Type 3s want excellence... they want to come across as excellent, be respected as the best, and so on. Both types of girls will invest in their appearances a lot, with the flashiest, hottest smoke-show girls you'll run into often being Type 3s.

If you make a Type 2 girl feel like her charms have failed on you, it makes her feel like she isn't as lovable or adorable as she THOUGHT she was.

Make a Type 3 girl feel like HER charms have failed on you, and it makes her feel like she's not nearly as impressive or excellent as she thought she was.

Approaching it from a different personality model, the girls most likely to pull this "offended that he isn't into me even though I don't want to date/fuck him" nonsense are the club queen types. They're basically a more refined type of attention whore... they try to seem more subtle, to attract higher value orbiters, etc. Failing to keep an attractive, high value guy in their orbit whom they THOUGHT they had hurts their pride.

But yeah, no matter what model you're using... if she's the type who REALLY CARES about having that orbiting cloud of admirers, and she thinks you are securely in her orbit, and then you detach from her orbit and float off and -- worse still -- into some OTHER girl's orbit... well that just makes her feel like she's just not as great as she thought she was. It's a shocker and it stings.

In a way, you're actually doing these gals a favor: you're helping them get a little bit better acquainted with reality :LOL:

Chase
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
1,615
@Chase I see..

This girl in particular is as I would say an enneagram type 3w4 (for those who dont know the main enneagram types can borrow from adjecent ennea types. In this case "the achiever" , takes from type 4 which is the individualist/artist who wants to be special). So yeah excellence with a flair of wanting to be special. Personally I like the type 2 enneagram because they make things personal and are endearing, the type 3 is much more superficial and it's not the kind of connection I like

Make a Type 3 girl feel like HER charms have failed on you, and it makes her feel like she's not nearly as impressive or excellent as she thought she was.
Yeah well she os a smokescreen but up close (girls always change when you actually engage them) I saw that she did a lot of work and I actually know a lot of girls who are similar pretty but dont go overboard with the fundamentals.

Approaching it from a different personality model, the girls most likely to pull this "offended that he isn't into me even though I don't want to date/fuck him" nonsense are the club queen types. They're basically a more refined type of attention whore... they try to seem more subtle, to attract higher value orbiters, etc. Failing to keep an attractive, high value guy in their orbit whom they THOUGHT they had hurts their pride.
yep you called it. Club queen type without a doubt
In a way, you're actually doing these gals a favor: you're helping them get a little bit better acquainted with reality :LOL:
haha, well I do not feel that sorry for her, she probably gets 100 dms per day if I look at her social media. I'm just trying to protect myself from social leeches , this is why i tend to like type 2 enneagrams even when they are covertly trying to manipulate me, they at least tend to pamper you or behave supportive, they understand repricoty, these club queen types however don't. It's a raw deal
 
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