Am I being too mean, instead of too nice? (feeling burned out)

[Paulie Walnuts]

I'm sure there's a fine line between being a sexy man and being an asshole right? I have an issue, I refuse to be platonic friends with women. If they're not interested in me, I refuse to text them, answer their calls or snapchats/facebook messages etc. I simply say the same thing each time, "let me know when you wanna go out with me ", or if they haven't replied to that specifically the next time they hmu, then I say "Don't hmu if you're not interested".

I'm certainly cordial in public, as far as niceties are concerned, but then I just leave (not mentioning them not responding to me or flaking or w/e).

As far as flaking goes, if they flake twice on dates I NEXT them immediately. I'm trying to pretend to come from a law of abundance, where it really wouldn't matter and it wouldn't emotionally affect me, but the speed which I'm burning through numbers (day game/night game/tinder/okcupid), is really emotionally draining. I can't help but think maybe I'm doing something wrong, and being too mean vs. being too nice.

Is it more likely my fundamentals just aren't that great yet? Should I take a break from approaching for a couple days, just to get my mindset right again? I feel drained and low confidence (not like I was last week, when I just didn't give a fuck haha). I really wanted to get a girl over while my parents were out of town (something I've had no problem with in the past when I was party/rave King), they were gone for 2 weeks and come home Monday, I have 1 more girl in pipeline to come over tomorrow evening. However with all the flakes the past few days, I've felt drained as FUCK!

Anybody here have an issue with feeling burned out?

 

[trashKENNUT]

tr13,

There's no problem. Sometimes women want to use you. And you just don't respond to text. Fundamentals is to let women know how attractive you are. You can get fundamentals handled but sometimes you have something more valuable to them.

Don't send "let me know when you wanna go out with me" like it is a freebie. It's meant to be a parting shot. You don't always get women respond to your first text.

Zac

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

You're totally right mate, I have been literally using that as a parting shot (rather than the prize it's like... oh hey well you don't seem that interested so let me know if you wanna go out with me).

It's a hard mindset to get too where I just don't let a woman flaking/not responding or shit testing me by not responding till super late the day of our date (and then saying stuff like "OMG I REALLY WANTED TO SEE YOU :/"), I'm getting better at the flaking, still need to get better at the not responding at all if they have been before.

So maybe what I should do from now on is when they don't respond to date text but then try hitting me up later just don't respond? I don't want to send them into auto-reject if they're trying to reengage, better way to deal with that?

 

[windsofchange]

It's never a bad idea to step back for a bit and reflect on / improve fundamentals. Everyone needs a 'refresh' now and again to come back with a level head.

Also, I'd advise against sending the 'don't hmu if you're not interested.' It just makes you seem bitter. You'd be better of actually not replying at all that sending that. You could respond to their re-engaging texts, but respond minimally (ie one word responses). If she carries on or tries to continue with the text conversation, then attempt to transition again to a date without engaging into the long back and forth texting.

 

[trashKENNUT]

tr12.

So maybe what I should do from now on is when they don't respond to date text but then try hitting me up later just don't respond? I don't want to send them into auto-reject if they're trying to reengage, better way to deal with that?

IF they hit you up for things, then definitely it's a power struggle. Just forget about the date. The attraction is gone. Auto rejection is when women like you, not women whom do not like you and trying to use you.

A fine line.

Zac

 

[Virgin101]

tr12.

So maybe what I should do from now on is when they don't respond to date text but then try hitting me up later just don't respond? I don't want to send them into auto-reject if they're trying to reengage, better way to deal with that?

IF they hit you up for things, then definitely it's a power struggle. Just forget about the date. The attraction is gone. Auto rejection is when women like you, not women whom do not like you and trying to use you.

A fine line.

Zac

My advice Zac - take it easy with the posting. You practically live on the site! I'd put my energy into getting a job, or getting a girlfriend. I presume (& I could be wrong) you've a rich father who's paying for you at the moment, or that you're on benefit. You should expose yourself to something new for a while.

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

@Windsofchange, agreed I won't be using that anymore, and yes now I know how to respond to those re-engages (from former flakeys or non-responders) , one word texts and then if she keeps trying to engage 2-3 text messages later will ask for a date again!

@Zac, agreed on the using, I've never put up with that in the past and I don't plan to start now. Especially back when I was running events and parties girls would hit me up 24/7, I used to come off as a total douche (apparently to people) by saying things like "don't hmu if you're not interested", but a better way of dealing with that will be just not responding to requests for favors.