A
Anonymous
Guest
Greetings all,
Thank you for taking the time to read through my situation and for any advice given.
First, I would like to provide a bit of background so you can get a better feel for my current situation. I have been out of the dating game for about two years now due to back-to-back military training/deployments. Recently, however, I have finally reached a stage where I am stateside for enough time to continue my University study. I met a girl a few weeks back and, after about an hour of good conversation resulting in many common interests (including playing guitar), I asked her to meet up with me following day for a little jam session; she agreed. So we met up the next day and jammed/talked for several hours. At this point, I was not sure if I was genuinely interested in her or not, so I kept the interaction only slightly flirtations. At the end of the session, she suggested that we meet up again the following week and do it again: I agreed. I thought about the meeting for several hours after the meet and came to the conclusion that I was both interested and wanted to make something of this. So, being the proactive man I am, I did what any military person would do in a situation in which they were out of practice on and set out to gather the best information/advice I could in order to maximize my chances of successfully navigating the minefield that is dating. That is when I ran across this website. I have had access to the site now for a little less than three weeks and I make it a point to read several articles every day and implement them in my interactions with this girl. Anyway, so the next meet up date came and she had to call it off because she had already had prior engagements (she said that she had forgotten about this when she agreed to the meet up time). I was cool about it (because I had just read the article on what to do if she flakes) and she offered a rescheduled time for the following week. So we met up again the following week for another jam session and I am in full “I am interested in you” mode and, using the advice from this site, set the frames I wanted. During this meet up, I asked her out to a more traditional style date (grabbing a bite to eat) and she said yes, but it would have to wait until the week after next because she was going to be out of town. I said cool and the natural number swapping progressed from there (this was last Friday the 15th).
I made the mistake of texting her this past Wednesday before reading all of the articles on texting (I read about half of them before and thought it was enough). I read the one on being direct and to not beat around the bush, so my text was somewhere along the lines of:
(Me) “Hey [name], I hope [what she is doing this week] is going well. What does your schedule look like next week?”
(Her) “Hey [name], [stuff about how her week is going]. Unfortunately I’ll be busy all week with [various stuff related to school, work, ect.]. As for the weekend, it depends on what didn’t get finished for the week. I’ll try my hardest to finish everything within the week though.”
(Me) “Alright cool, let me know.”
She goes on to text me on how my week was going, and (because I have not yet read the “How to Text Girls: 20 more tips”) I decided to drop into a “deep dive” style conversation through text (which, according to that article, is a no-no).
This is where I am at now and have two main points where I would like help.
(1) The “How to Text Girls: 20 More Tips” article suggests that long text conversations could be detrimental to my success. But I already had one on Wednesday and may have already set up the frame of being a “texting buddy.” Could Wednesday’s conversation be considered building rapport? Should I continue in the current frame of occasionally have “deep dive” style text conversations? Or should I cut back to the style the article suggests? And how should I go about the “my week is busy and my weekend is a maybe” text? Is that a sign of uninterest?
(2) My overall goal with this girl is girlfriend. I have pretty much summed up all relevant interactions in this post. From this information, am I heading in the right direction, or towards the friend-zone? I generally feel as though she gives off positive vibes, but like I said earlier, my interactions for the past two years can be summed up best like “if they are shooting at you, they don’t like you. If not, they like you,” so I may be seeing things through rose tinted glasses so to speak.
A few more possibly important signs/observations:
-She has admitted to being a nervous person; confessing that she is nervous around me.
-She seems to lack the normal entourage of guys chasing her that a girl of her looks would normally have.
-She makes it a point to greet me every time she sees me.
-She has put in several signs of investment. Most notably: giving me a ride to my car when I walked her to hers (my car was on the other end of campus).
These may be completely irrelevant, but extra information never hurt.
Thanks,
-Rob
Thank you for taking the time to read through my situation and for any advice given.
First, I would like to provide a bit of background so you can get a better feel for my current situation. I have been out of the dating game for about two years now due to back-to-back military training/deployments. Recently, however, I have finally reached a stage where I am stateside for enough time to continue my University study. I met a girl a few weeks back and, after about an hour of good conversation resulting in many common interests (including playing guitar), I asked her to meet up with me following day for a little jam session; she agreed. So we met up the next day and jammed/talked for several hours. At this point, I was not sure if I was genuinely interested in her or not, so I kept the interaction only slightly flirtations. At the end of the session, she suggested that we meet up again the following week and do it again: I agreed. I thought about the meeting for several hours after the meet and came to the conclusion that I was both interested and wanted to make something of this. So, being the proactive man I am, I did what any military person would do in a situation in which they were out of practice on and set out to gather the best information/advice I could in order to maximize my chances of successfully navigating the minefield that is dating. That is when I ran across this website. I have had access to the site now for a little less than three weeks and I make it a point to read several articles every day and implement them in my interactions with this girl. Anyway, so the next meet up date came and she had to call it off because she had already had prior engagements (she said that she had forgotten about this when she agreed to the meet up time). I was cool about it (because I had just read the article on what to do if she flakes) and she offered a rescheduled time for the following week. So we met up again the following week for another jam session and I am in full “I am interested in you” mode and, using the advice from this site, set the frames I wanted. During this meet up, I asked her out to a more traditional style date (grabbing a bite to eat) and she said yes, but it would have to wait until the week after next because she was going to be out of town. I said cool and the natural number swapping progressed from there (this was last Friday the 15th).
I made the mistake of texting her this past Wednesday before reading all of the articles on texting (I read about half of them before and thought it was enough). I read the one on being direct and to not beat around the bush, so my text was somewhere along the lines of:
(Me) “Hey [name], I hope [what she is doing this week] is going well. What does your schedule look like next week?”
(Her) “Hey [name], [stuff about how her week is going]. Unfortunately I’ll be busy all week with [various stuff related to school, work, ect.]. As for the weekend, it depends on what didn’t get finished for the week. I’ll try my hardest to finish everything within the week though.”
(Me) “Alright cool, let me know.”
She goes on to text me on how my week was going, and (because I have not yet read the “How to Text Girls: 20 more tips”) I decided to drop into a “deep dive” style conversation through text (which, according to that article, is a no-no).
This is where I am at now and have two main points where I would like help.
(1) The “How to Text Girls: 20 More Tips” article suggests that long text conversations could be detrimental to my success. But I already had one on Wednesday and may have already set up the frame of being a “texting buddy.” Could Wednesday’s conversation be considered building rapport? Should I continue in the current frame of occasionally have “deep dive” style text conversations? Or should I cut back to the style the article suggests? And how should I go about the “my week is busy and my weekend is a maybe” text? Is that a sign of uninterest?
(2) My overall goal with this girl is girlfriend. I have pretty much summed up all relevant interactions in this post. From this information, am I heading in the right direction, or towards the friend-zone? I generally feel as though she gives off positive vibes, but like I said earlier, my interactions for the past two years can be summed up best like “if they are shooting at you, they don’t like you. If not, they like you,” so I may be seeing things through rose tinted glasses so to speak.
A few more possibly important signs/observations:
-She has admitted to being a nervous person; confessing that she is nervous around me.
-She seems to lack the normal entourage of guys chasing her that a girl of her looks would normally have.
-She makes it a point to greet me every time she sees me.
-She has put in several signs of investment. Most notably: giving me a ride to my car when I walked her to hers (my car was on the other end of campus).
These may be completely irrelevant, but extra information never hurt.
Thanks,
-Rob
